=( so down for the day

mm... ..=/ really didnt feel like blogging at all...

bad things happened.. but o well.. .

whole day sitting in front of lappy.. just sit and sit and sit........ sighs..
still sore though. .my legs.

my mum tiem to time will ask.. if im ok. .she;s very worried about me.. cos ofthigns i do. .yea.
then she said bro said that i didnt wanan say anythign .and im sure i blog this before. if he didnt ask, why wouldi say it. somemroe... even if i do, u htink he'll give advice? whats the use of telling him tehn?

nowadays im very quiet at home.. i ddint talk to anyone except for hte ppl outside.
i just have no interest to talk with my family.

i put up these old ppics of me on my closet. my mum wil lsay. look.. you look so happy back then.
yea.. BACK THEN.

.... what to do. i cant forcemyself to be happy as u know.. .

was walking in the raing for a ocuple of mins todya..instead of taking the shelter.. don wory. my health isnt tht gd anywya.
i have a major problem wih my every diet. sometiems eat normal.. some meals skippedm, some meals liek a mouse. whatever.

anwayy.. .yea.
its very cold.. but. .somehow the rain. .feels nothing. nothign can ever compared to the inner aprt of me.

tch. .still waiitng for a reply from him. wanna book my hotel soon. decuded to go with his suggestions. cos lazy to go find and ask him over and over.
so yea. pay more pay more ba=/
once get reply, will make payment. .and settel this major prob.

sighs... ....

haiz.. .
i wish i could smile for the whole day... but no. today.. im just.. emtionless.. i couldnt smile. cant force myself t o smiel. .perhaps thas why its gd to stay in the room away with my lappy huh...

sighs. .k ba.gtg.. ... =(
still.. very upset.. ..not about my bitchy sm.. but becos of.........


=/

sighs

and couldnt u even keep to ur words....

mata

what's in syd O.o

ytd i wore this jacket.. cos need to do stock abit while waiting, i took off my jacket.. then my the outlet sm was like .. wah so sexy ar! =.=''' dots... duno whats so sexy about me wearing a singlet kinda.. like. .t back... with 2 black bra straps showing. thtas all mah. so common. =.= but ow ell. i'll accept that as a compliment anyway.

haiz.. sucks.. today=/ whole day runny nose. sianz.... have to work somemore... sick.. sm also nvr even bother. forever one. self centre. even my partimer know her personailty.
she only know how to act and pretend.
very pissed off at what she did . got two things. seriously i wanna let it all out here.. but a pioty its too long to type it out. =/ lets just say she's soooo freakin fake!!!!! and such an asshole!!!! thing not hers hint that it actually should belongs to her. WTH!! say one thing, but yet do another. omg. how i wish my rgm can see that. but she's too good with acting in front of him. =/
sighs......... angry sia..

anwyay... = /

yea.. think im running a abit of fever too.. cos of runny nose ba. .but what to do. have to hang on at work mah.
today.. lunch.. die.. appetite turning realy bad... ate a couple mouthfuls of bwanton noodle.s.. then cant eat liao. but did drank a cup of soya bean drink.
haiz. dinner.. .had abit too.. my monster appetite officially gone. =/

but heres the deal. i relaly dislike girls going on diet and not eating certain food.. or purposely don finish.. i look at my situation now, if im a onlooker, i would've think that im having a diet purposely dun eat.
gosh. .wonder what ppl think of me... hope i wont be so bother by it ba. but seriously.. its not that. =( im not thae kind of girl i detest.
i seriously have no appetite.
i say dunno why.. my colleagues ask.. .because you're sad? then i wa slike. .mmm... yea.. maybe ne...
but weird. i didnt appeared to be sad ar.. or words behind me again? =./= or can tell.. mm.. i wonder. or maybe my colleague just guess only ba
i dunno ba... just.. sighs.. .eating disorder? choy. i hope not man... enough problems in life. oh god.
haiz.. see tmr how ba. =/

very tired. one day off. and sm alreyad hint i wont get replacemnet off next week. '' oh next week alot of staffs cannot work...'' .............. i wanna curse her bad man... stop with the hintings already!!!! hint 8..... why love to hint?? cannot talk face to face isit???? wth.
...sighs.. kk.. gotta stop my anger.. and blood from rising up

me runny nose whole day.. .nose still uncomfy till now. ..can die sia.. .its terrible=(

was talking about my syd trip with colleague.. .gosh.. .really nowhere to go sia.. i have no idea where to go... .
mm..... but its quite a long trip... am i regretting alreayd? ...o well... cant turn back now. have to be brave and do this . ... haiz.. hopefully will be safe and sound.. and everything will be alright. skali go, never come back how. XD LOL> touch wood. hahahhaha

o well... i'll just shop till i drop ba. or sit in the sun for half an hour. .seriously.. what can i do in syd. =.='''''
limited places to go without car. nor cab=.= dang expensive. and nope im not sharing cab. learnt that from 'taken' movie.
bus, hopeless thing. =.=
mm. .train... dunno how to buy tickets..etc.... skali get there, dunno how to come back.
oh gosh. im freaking myself out now eh. lol .
what to do. see how ba. just hate the part where... you have to get home early. ...nvm. i'll do my best to slp early. waky super early, slp super early. drinking will help isit? gosh i sure hope so... =./ very afraid of the dark and room alone... =/
...geex.... ....better pray for me k. hope its a clean' and safe place.
...gosh.. freakin myself out again . =/ baka!!
kk.. .i can get through this.

ha. my colleague so funny.. gib me the-_- face when i said im going alone .lol.
she say it sounds as if im healing my heart there. I was like htinking... =.= ''' dots.. isnt tha tthe worse place to heal?..
whats alreayd been sliced.. there;ll always remain scars. .so yea. .its ok.. ..
so yup. but its good ba.. .walk around eh... slowly... shop by shop... but usually an hour or so i'll be done =.='' i shop pretty fast.
haiz... .
but anyway.... this could be my last trip.
2012 is coming. i might not get tickets cos of the end of date.. but then again.... ha. u know me. i might just change my mind =P

i only know zara is new there.. but so dang exp. imma have a look but not buy anything=.=
..oh yea.. .fountains..... there should have some nice ones too... mm.....
not a bad idea eh.
take more pics of that.
cos. .weather soo cold today!

shoot. .nose runny again =/
beter eat med soon..

mm.. should be settling hotel matter soon... ...

jaa mata ne!

slpyness and tiredness are back again! =X

gosh. extremely tired =/

just now... totally no appetite again. .but after forcing myself to eat, im feelin gbetter now.
perhaps cos im too tired out?

anyway...it was so.. .wow. tiring. even though im siting.. cos i wakey early for work. very early start. .thats why.

remember that time i told you about.. the one off tired period? yea.. im feeling that way now. totally could knock out right away its like i wanan eat nothing do nothing.. just to slp. or sit down without moving an inch.
im soooo slpy

thihnk.. i dreamt of him again. but cant really recall whats the dream about..

omg. so slpy... he mentioned about this ned with aircon.. at that moment. .seriously i was like thinking.. .even if every week i kena one off, its all worth it. cos i know at the end of night, i'll have someone there for me..
gosh. .sounds so comfy.. tempting me to slp now. ...mm. .soon maybe..

cos. i am tired to the max. .=(
but seriously.. i felt better now after eating dinner... gosh. .was like so tired and no appetite to eat at all jus tnow.. .

slpyyyyyyyyyyyyy ! but if slp now. .oh no. .cos me jsut finished eating ne. =X kinda unhealthy eh..

mm..  i imagine how he'll look like with a red bike.. simple one.. yet very nice. perhaps cos he's riding it ba. ha.. but yea.. ..i think he'll look really good on it=)

jaa mata

Health and stress

eh.. today is a tad warm. .though rained abit just now..
but yea

cant wait for x fator. im rooting for hte burito guy. he got this cute chubby face lol

so tired even nothing much been done ne. sighs... how i wish no need go so far early in the morning to train heaps of ppl. =( wonder how manay ppl are there..
always kena my off n dis me,. .sighs

=/

anyway... .

u know peeps, lesson learnt. crossed off that person if he or she headed  straight for the internet or another opposite sex fren instead of u.
like. really . that shouldnt be happneing .
guess its time to u know.. .o well..

sighs.. i really wish my off not affected =( .. why.. ....
and will my off be back next week? that time no have ne.
and im like  tired for weeks.. i can still rememebr..
like.. slpt on the sofa... once rch home i wan to do nothing but slp right away.. like. .no life.
soemtimes i wonder if all these efforts are worth it.
remind me again why am i working so stressful n hard for? isit worth it for the now?

sighs. =/i dunno. but. trying to shake off this tired feeling ba.

im very pissed off. not very nbtu. upset. .the most .. the MOST3 basic of asking how are you feeling now? still sick? what happen??? both my manager and r g manager never ask. neevr show concern. all my sm can ask is... so did u go clinic??? luckily im smart enough to get her hint!! she lovessssssssssss to hint3 pppl!!! wanna ask fo rmy mc ask la. wth. ...
neevr even ask how are u what s wrong with u that day?  still sick? etc... i feel like. .omg. they are cruell =(
if only im working with yanika or tayissa, its diff story. ...holy cow. im so piffed now. can u believe this??? even a partimer can ask me how am i now. but why not the bloody managers!???

sighs.. .wonder if these are stress=/ ..
how to destress without hurting myself..
sighs.. oh yea na my pocket.

sighs... duno how to smile now..
ac strong if i have to be...
just so no one finds out.'

but i know my mum is very worried about me and my health... haiz.... she still ask if im missing him.. or is it becos of him.. etc.. aint bother to reply her ba..
i felt so bad. another type of stress there.
=/

sighs.. hopefully... i'll do as she say ba..
sianz. .always having her ask me that. ..or worried abiout me.. sighs.. =/

waht sould i do peeps....
..where am i heading after the holiday im lookign for.. will htere be nothign to look forward to thereafter? =/ ..

sighs..

oh. .me have abuot.. 100 plus left to spend. .for 2 weeks.. =/ hoping i can hang in there..  i have not settle hotel.. but by end of nov i could. so yea. wish me luck .hope still availble . mm.. yea hopefullyu.
better be! huu

jaa mata

eat no good

haiz.. my off. .kena dis again.. alwasy liek that. .=/

anyway.. me gotten better now. just that. .i cant resist buy my fav dish... the spicy one. .and now. .stomahc abi not good. huu... i know. .baka desu.. but. .walked past.. and saw the item there.. .then yea.. huu..
should be fine by tmr ba.. .gosh me slpy.. been a long tiring day doing stocks..

my manager blaack face today. dunon la. .lazy to bother

think my stomach is stirring up now.. hope be fine soon..
haiyo..
and today soo othirsty huu...

so slpy.. kk

just a short blog here on how im going. .

mata

slpy still

my wrist hurts. very red.. wear watch pain also. this time its pretty scratchy . nope. not gonna post that pic this time. wait if ppl worrys not good.

me still slpy. not shaking that much now.
but.. yea. still super weak.

doc say eat watery food. but i forgot reminde mum dinenr dont cook. so. .o well. .to olate.. had abit.. 2 pcs of tofr fish xake, one otah fishcake, bits of vegies.. small bowl of soup. and 2 small pcs of chicken..bit of rice.. didnt finish rice though.. no appetite.
very hungry.. but couldnt eat much.. cant force myself to

mm.. thinking of waht the doc say.. its true though. sometimes me can eat huge portion. .sometimes small.. sometiems none. o well..
haiz. .still feeling sick.. but nap alread. .still wanna nap again. yea.. better than cant slp later on. at least i do feel slpy

am very glad to be home though.. if not. .dunno how to tahan till night. .yea i know.. i wanted to..though i know should not.. but. .haiz.. to take mc.. is so .. =/ o well..

oh. .i think i deramt of sammy again. but alarm clock which i did not set, woke me up. nice dream sia =( huu... stupid clock

mm.. dunno wanna do what now .. should i slp ealry? or.. mm...

drowsy med.. .gosh. .i relly need to get well by tmr.. i hope so..

mata

super sick me yet

peeps.. im sick=( very3 sick. .i cant even wlak properly... my head is dizzy.. last nigh ti threw up badly after dinner. till now.. now is 226pm.. now haven eat...
becos got work.. but reached workplace.. too tick.. kena send back. whole body shaking . i holdbottle or phone, also shakes... like how u shiver.
i didn tknow im having fever at the same time. was like so confidently tell doc no fever when he asked. then he check.. yea... fever too. wth.
din even know im more sick.

anywya... very weak now... i cant sit up straight. i cant stand either.
head cant keep straight. gonna eat soon..

today i got lost at tampines. duno how coem end up at tampines 1. maybe cos took bus ba. luckily theres a lady with an accent( is she tourist?) pointed me the direction. she's looking at the info board with her bf.

anyway... doc say somehting like. .theres gona be some acid if never eat fo rtoo long or somehting. then somemore stomach is exp.. size 1. cos too long never eat or somehting. then if now continue eat alot at one go, i'll vomit. cos cannot expand or something. its remaining at size 1. so when eat too much, will throw up .watter must take in sips too... even though im thirsty, he wann ai might have diarroe later. i heard loosetooth. holy cow. i hope i heard wrong. he eplained something but yea. sorry no energy to type also. im struggling. =/

no energy to even hold up a phone for more than one min. yea im that weak now.

k. tiem for me to eat lunch. never eat anythingafter i threw up last night.
med take but must wait 30mins then can eat lunch. haiyo.
kk.. my stomach making loud weird never heard before noises=/ i better go
talk later

mata