Anger Exploded

so freaking angry... since morning.. so many things happen.. argh.... sianz........... i was so super angry.. i blast the sound system.. and i was like. pushing the erm.. wood.. erm. .board or sumtin.. more of like. slamming it. and.. yeah.. it broke abit off the edge. omg.

was talking with chan lu.. then mention sumtin.. ...and... ...it brings back my memories.. i miss it when sammy called everynight before slp.. :( never really thought of that ya know.. ..but yeah... ... ..sigh. .a kind of miss feeling that cant be pen down...

despite knowing i'll cry. .still i yearned for his voice... ..i reach out for my phone. .playing the heartfelt msg from him.. ..it was.. a feeling that cant be tell..

gosh.... angry3........... i was cursing so much today. :( i find myself rude. but.. yeah.. once my anger been ignited, im not sensible anymore.

today supposed to be my mrg shift... ...but.. .sigh... became my full instead. cos ppl dun wanna come work no more. argh.... so.. tmr see whats the situation... im desperate in need of destress now. argh... so tired yet.... huu..

so many fullshifts.. yet other outlets get 2 off per week. :( im so sad. zuan decided to take mc in one of his 8 full. ..i think im gonna too. what if i take it on the hari raya. ha.. they'll kill me ne. argh... really so sianz... :(

october.. so wish to get leave.. huu....

see how bah

but first, this week, im gonna be working like mad. and freaking tired to the core. but when u gone mad, anything is possible already. -_- yes.. anything ..at first i thought heck care. but then.. realised nvm.. just do it. -_- sianz

ok.............. ...tmr.. i hope theres good news for me ne.

aint just me.. my frens all drn stress at this job. -_- its darn stress..

aww.. .im so sorry.. to curse in front of my frens today.. hate it.. using those words.. its not me.. but.. well.. the angry me i guess... huu.. so rude ne atashi..
but for them me used to it already.. but me think they are surprised to hear that outta me.

erm.. so.. yeah.. basically its like that.. haiyo

oh.. .cos its the so called seventh month ghost festival here.. ...zuan mentioned about the late gerick.. and erm.. ...yeah. .he say one of his fren already kena disturb by him.. jokingly ask me to be careful.. but i aint bother by it.. what im still thinking about is... ..
zuan still remember... he ask me today.. how ar.. if gerick that time never die. and he cast a spell for me to fall in lvove with him.. cos he was already planning to do that. ..yeah. .it's still creepy when i thought of that.. .. imagine loving someone not of one's will.. ... :( .. argh.. ..

...oh well....... nah.. i dun care about these things.. all i want is, for my 3 months to get done and over with. wahahahah... then i'll be relax everyday :) can do whatever i want. ha

hm............ ...well.. ..so far things are like this.. ... its been a very tiring and stressful day for me. .tot could go out.. huu.. then full again.. slpy too..

mata

Laughing Day

fell alsp in bus. .so cold.. hope tmr can go back early.. wont change. lets just say its ppl's fault bah..

gosh.. next month schedule.. 6 full shifts straight. then me voice it out. and get one aftnoon shift in between.
freaking tired.
what to do. just gotta bear bah.. oct busy.. sep busy.. nov busy.. xmas mah.. argh..

u know my fren who alwasy say im very good.. very faithful.. XD lol.. today he say im not easy.. lol i was laughing alllll the way!!! so nice to 'bully' him LOL XD!!! disturb him only..

hm... im looking forward to my day tmr.. i hope will go as plan..

i was waiting in front of zuan.. rubbie my eyes.. then he say wah. .sexy lips.. i was like what???!!! hello? i never do anything ok. just stand and rub my eyes. then he say he also have. then he go and purposely pout... XD!! wth.... omg.. so funny...

zuan look so surprised... again. erm.. blah3...at the front. then he was liek. hopw come the 3 of you all so stress and wanna relax. yes. he said it with such a look on his face. so rare.
ha

today mansoor ask me go work earlier. but.. only me does. zuan late -_-. its futile fo me to g early...argh. cos he wanna have a talk abt sumtin abt last night.. its their probs.. me just.. well.. nothing to do with me la.

i was confused.. about some stuffs.. but... i try to stay on the right track.. its easy for the mind to take a turn ya know.

gosh.. that guy ar... omg... my fren revealed me a shocking news... that person, actually can have a one night stand anytime. then next dy forget abut it. i was like.. omg.. cos he's like my first fren(not close) who's so super open. shocking...... XD and he's 20. so yup... dunno whats he doing.. that kind of person, in years time also cant find someone who truly loves him..
i ask my fren to teach him. cos they close. XD but he say cannot teach. he like that wan. lol.
and yup. thats the guy. im so not gonna bother abt him. he'd better forget it. -_-

mata
















- When he say no, its a No. I Trust. -

Travel Fair Settled! :)

im so tired.. dead beat... i wish.. oh i wish..... tmr.. please let me wake up late.. don wan auto wakey again early morning...

gosh. .super slpy and darn tired..... cant wait to have a nice slp....
hm... waiting for sammy's reply now..me rush home..

today on my way to the train.. this guy walk passed me, look and say in a american accent.. 'damn!'.. =.= he must be really crazy...

its such a longgggg day today... was nervous about today.. XD haha... cos gotta buy tickets... and yeah.. ha.. funny la.. feel so nervous.. XD then my fren helped me check out the web.. really if not for my fren, i wouldnt've known about this great offer...

erm.. so. .after work... me, bro and redz.. went to the nafa travel fair. managed to get my prob solved. and then we go get something to eat. cos ging to town later.. guess where did we eat? at changi airport... hahaha. and omg.. the manager or person in charge, pull out the chair, and when i wanna sit down, he push it in for me. omg.. so gentleman!!XD then when we go off, i tell my bro and redz.. u guys.. not gentlemans at all.. =.= never pull for me.. hahaha.. .XD jk..

yeah.. then oh wow.. so many nice fountains in changi airport... then again.. passed by the departure hall where i send him off tearfully... ...

and. yeah.. im like a tourist.. taking lots of photosXD hahaha... cos its so nice.. :) and the fountains.. wow3. :)

too tired to upload those pics.. haha.. but yeah.. about 18 pics or more that i took from the airport .

ytd... theres this lady.. she's wearing a black tight fitting dress.. low cut. .abit sexy.. long hair.. but.. -_- its nothing but an empty shell im afraid.
norman came to my shop.. asking if she's here just now.. he say. .just now that lady in black wanna buy a balloon.. those u know.. foil helium gas balloon... she ask.. then how am i suppose to carry this home? like this ar?? as in by hand carry. norman say no.. he can give her a big plastic bag.. she say don want.. how to carry home like that.. then she say wanna buy the balloon without pumping the gas in. norman tell her that it's gonna remine flat as it is. she asked.. then how is she gonna get it pumped in her house.. would we do that for her in her house?? -_-....... norman tell her straight NO. cannot. she ask can pump herself anot. he tell her no. it cant float up at all. unless use the gas.

after that, she loo up.. she asked him.. whats this? he say its pinata. she asked what u do with it.. he say.. u gotta use a stick and hit it open and let the sweets all drop out.. she ask.. 'are you serious??'=.= he reply... hahaha XD good one. he reply.. 'YES IM DAMN SERIOUS' XD!!
yeah.. sometimes this kind of ppl... irritating only.. knows nothing at all.. still wanna act all so proud and high class huh. ..tsk

body cant take it.. im so tiredddddddddd. ........ so gonna bath and slp. maybe dry hair i think.

hm.. so.. well.. so far. .today yup.. alot of erm.. ..well.. long time never get to like.. walk ard so many places.. and stuff..

glad sam say he get to relax after chatting with frens... yeah... he told me abt his 2 best frens before. so.. yeah... at least.. me glad he'll be happy there.. i hope his frens will be for him and teat him well.. always. me wish sam will always feel happy... and carefree.. then.. yeah.. me happy already..

seems like we both had a nice night huh.. hm.. ok for me.. but yeah. .at least its full of actions..

yay.. u know what? end of aug is coming to an end. .i can buy my stuffs again! useful ones that is. :) hehe. when me off bah.

and so.........

...yup.. glad he's bacl home safely.. and relax..happy.. me all the more happy.

as for his fren's one year LDS wel.. its a test i guess.. gonna make them stronger than ever before if they made it out of it after 1year. i wish them truly all the best from the bottom of my heart.
well... can made it ne... if strong enuff.. nothign is gonna break them apart..

oh... dots.. today at teh fair. .twice.. teh wedding overseas planner thingy.. the ppl approached me with teh broswers. -_- omg.. i ask redz when they approached me first time.. 'do i look like i wanna get married??' =.= thenj next sec i know, my bro beside me tell me' maybe u got the wanna get married look'. =.=... dots.. its like i ask redz, tehn my bro answer for him. but bro never hear me ask that. funny.. haha. or maybe.. ahhh :) i got the look of deeply in lovewith someone.... wohohoho ;)

haha.. but nah i think its just because any girls walk past them, they just wanna hand out teh browsers. haha

gosh.. tired.. k.. time for me to rest.. gonna bath..

mata!!

Learned In A Night 's Time

so many things to note it down. .i do notknow where to begin...

morning.... i was rushing for work.. but suddenly i paused. stop at my step.. cos i saw.. ..my brown bag.. .. reminded me of how sam that time fixed the zip for me.. me given up already.. but he.. ...fixed it... place my bag on the counter.. and totally really fixed it for me..
... im so touched... he never give up..

my childhood fren.. haiz.. i hope she'll be alrite... she looks fins.. but i know its a serious matter to be dealed with.... we sang for abit. .me sang a few songs only. very little.. i hope she's more relax now.. she asked me to go back her home.. chat2.. stayover.. but.. me cant. gotta collect my passport for tmr usage.. plus wanna online badly.. he's waiting.. for so long.. im so.. touched yet again.. though he's gone by the time im back..

abit.. ..hm.... ..not used to haning around chinese fellows.. cos alot of my frens are malays.. so.. yeah.. me became very quiet.. but ok.. at least 3 person theres i know.

her cousin newly known bf..(yes she change2) is staying over at her place tonight.. he's also abit half arab chinese.. a instructor for gun shooting in police force.. so seeing them together.. its like.. ... yeah.. he really reminded me so much of sammy..

theres a cab fight outside.. im disgusted by it.. i hate dispute. but i kow.. those ppl were drunk. still i hated it.

...i dunno... ... sam's frens like always mentioning to go drink out there... i dun feel comfortable.. but.. if tats what he wanna do.. i cant really stop him. but im so worried and insecure. i just don feel comfortable at all... cos the ppl there are like.. .......... yeah.. ..

this guy there.. heard he got a f of long years. heard she's a slut. dump him for 4 times. yet he's still in love with her.. why....... .... how come guys are so.. faithful when u least expect it....

another.. finaly gonna be joining his gf in other country.. long disance relationship.. so yup.. happy for him.. though i heard.. he admitted yes he did get the thoughts of being unfaithful.. but in the end always never...

he's a very protective guy.. to all girls. haha. i can tell. love to act cool.. yet so.. faithlful somehow.. kinda.. but yeah.. he managed to stay that way... :)

sigh......................

oh at one point.. i was actually really cold throughout the way.. then i was fine.. till my fren suddenly hug me.. and she's sooo warm.. and.. i cried.. i was fine really.. din wanna think lots. but yeah.. cry a tiny3 bit only k. ha.

...tonight.. so much advices i got from ppl.. ..i....

i got so much to say to sammy now. i wish sammy online now.. but.. .too late...

ne.......... ...tmr how?................. ............

i feel so so lost..

i feel like.....

................

will... .....do separate ways huh..

i miss...............
...

why isnt he here... ...?

......mata

What A Weird Night Of Sleep...

ne..friendster blog revealed alot last night.. cos.. something happened.. check it out if ya like..

omg.. i did not sleep well at all... especially the last 2 hrs before i was to wake up. wow.. i keep waking up.. then the last hour.. omg.. worse.. about 6 or more times i woke up.. and keep having same dreams. its sam. over in msn saying very sweet things.. i was happy and relieved.. it repeated and repeated each time after i fall aslp again. same dream. same scene.. msn thing.. sam.. all there.. short2 seconds.. but yet. .that last hour really5 seems to me like 3hrs.. thats why today extra sleepy..

cant wait to slp now.. ha..

tmr.. finally my last fullshift of the month.. cant wait to get it over with.. ..then sat.. gotta buy tickets.. nervous.. cos my first time.. so.. yeah... hope things will go well huh.

today sales good. .no need to fret about it.. tmr friday.. .. o well... see how things go then...

-why so quiet..-

mata

Nice White

OMG im so tired... :( 2nd day.. 2 more to go.. i was like.. carrying my backpack.. so heavy.. its weighing me down.. haiz.. really so tired... gotta hang on lots....

today... received a bad news.. sigh... so many questions.. ... ... sigh. .i dunno.. me just feel sad.. like.. me easily absord other ppl's negative feelings.. it kinda leaves me shaken abit after that.. but im alrite.. ...just.. oh dear.. ..its in my mind.. she's a nice person.. erm.. talk alot.. only abit don like when she cant keep to her words.. but that aside,.. me just feel.. haiz.. ..me.. dunno.. ..dunno what to say.. just wonder.. .. ... ...

ne... isnt it so nice.. to get someone's assurance at night.. ^^ always remind me.. 'remember k.. i will always.. and.. only you.. no one.. but.. ...' its like wow.. ..its locking the heart ne.. pulling it closer..
and closer..
and always get closer..

its afew lines like this.. which gives me so much energy.. and lights. oh yes.. lights..

3 months to go... 2 months gonna be so tough. perhaps.. ..october me take leave? nah.. think get money better.. even for abit.. yup....

its fasting month time.. hari raya is coming.. me walked past those malay traditional baju.. erm. .kurong or sumtin.. XD dunno.. anyway yup.. those new year clothes for them. me just love the white one.. with the corset inside// look so.. wow.. like a wedding dress. :) so lovely.. but.. me never get a chance to try it out. ha.. then my frens were like. .walked past too. .and tell me. hey u should get this.. that.. i was like.. what? XD! im working on hari raya! hahah... where got chance to wear.. haiyo.. too bad. its interesting eh? try it for once good enuff ne? :) but. .well, we shall see if thats ever gonna happen. haha. ui was telling them. .yeah.. where am i supposed to wear? at work? wait all customers keep asking me if im muslim ar.. lol. omg.. imagine me wear that in shop.. XD wow.. happening sia. hahaha :)

ok.. think my energy is back alittle.. just a tiny bit..

everytime sales in that centre.. so worrying.. haiz.
stressful. hm.. my fren who quitted,.. finally found a new job.. but.. either work is tough, long hours, or pay is very low.
this job is actually quite fine had it not been for our bosses.. management.. and.. yeah.. o well...

gosh.. raz is so.. generous. super duper one i tell u. he's like treating everyone.. like.. dunno.. he's so.. haha... like don mind at all..

ok.. tmr 3rd full.. ... hang on pauline.. hang on..

hm. .sat is coming. .dunno how will it turn out. .will i be getting the tickets there?... ..oh my.. like so.. 'near'.. getting there all of a sudden.. ..

its already a month.. ..since. .one down.. more to go.. ..will wait.. ..

..i thought i'd listen enuff.. but.. .. din think.. one word would.. was typing away happily.. then.. me really shouldnt.. just a line.. make him mad.. i think he's really frustrated.. dunno how he looked just now... must be no smile on his face..
msn.. really cant.. express alot huh.. of how i feel,,,, or the way i talk..
.. :(

mata







- am i that useless to...-

3 Months To end

i was thisssssssssssssss close to apply leave for next month.. but then.. i throw away the paper.. .. afew reasons as in why i did that.. but yeah. .sure its gonna get the life outta me.. :( today my first fullshift.. already tired like what. then i realised.. alot of of myfrens also. same reasons. especially thhe legs part. XD

omg. .tmr.. how am i gonna.. huu.. will do my best.. ..no other choice.. so.. .yup. feel like dying already from workXD

i wonder what happen to my childhood fren.. like.. got so much problems.. huu.. wish me can be of some help.. guess.. me waiting to lend a listening ear.

phone..... new phone coming out... and soon will be notified. ^^ cant wiat to see how it looks like. hm.... sliver look nice.. reed.. me always like red phone.. but.. somehow compared to sliver,.. hm... abit dark.. .. well, we shall see then. how in actual look its gonna be like.

today.. dunno why.. something wrong with the aircon?? i was freezing!! tmr sure again at that centre-_- argh.. me now also.. cold..
cant wait to rest and end my day...

next month.. 3 weeks of hell gonna begin.. ...sigh. alot of ppl have no wish to stay in this company any longer. i cant wait to celebrate once this is over.

body.. huu.. feeling so.. ..o well......

no choice but to hang on.. 3 months to go.. :(

mata