THINK - APPRECIATE - BE THANKFUL

hm.. ok..  so.. today theres a huge crowd in our shop.. dunno why.. but yea..
haiz... o well.. so.. officially to say.. its back to plan 1. and i wont be able to see him in a shorter time. so.. yea. too bad. =/
o well.... .... life doesnt get easier.
anyway... sam was talking to me through about phones again.. its interesting about their lines. .hm.. ..o well. anyway... ....i dunno.  i try to keep it as a low down thingy for me.. dont wanna  get too interested in sumtin, only then to u knw. know that u couldnt own it.
 and.. yea.. no good at all. ha.. o well
shall see how ba...  theres good and bad between the i and the s phone. s could say as such htc desire.. i... hm.. i dunno.. dots.. =.= sounds still... hm.. ..i dunno. =/ shrugs* bad impression i gotta say. very bad. but. .yea.. like i said. theres always a bad and good points. but i know which side im on. so.. yea. but try not to think of it too much. .in case i gotta stand on the other side.. u get wha i mena eh? so yea..

hm.. tired.. o well. .4 days to go. .hang on ne.. .. gosh.. ..
hm... ....so long never get sunday off ne.. ...
 o well..
hm.. lets see... ... today work.. i duno.. don really feel happy. but try not to think about it..

weird.. i think i forgot to say anythign here.. hm... .. dots. .cant remember..
anyway...
hm... workplace now the new staffs starts to open up.. and lol.. its surprisinly weird.. i duno.. different i supposed.. .. haha.. ....
so yea.. at leats.. nto so bad now.. ..
tch.... i dunno what im thinking. its like. .back to how i feel last year oct to nov.
or sep to nov.. or to dec.. yea. .wahtever..  i wonder if i should have a read at those older blogs.. gosh.. i hate to re-read my previous blogs.. so troublesome. .i duno.. just.. hm.. ... freaky. .. i dun like... like. .re reading whats been happy and whats not.. and then i'll be upsetall over again.. or have regrets of my past. i duno. just don like ba.
but anyway... hm.........
..i duno..
im just wonderig  why things changed.. ..or was it forgotten.. or simply too used to it, and ppl starts to get them for granted. and then forgot all about hwy its so important in the 1st place. and then nobody starts to appreciate what u do.. they tend to treat it as a .. 'i'll accept if u give me'.
kinda.. tyea.. attitude.  or perhasp. '.oh yes.. this happened so many times.. its happening again. so, im gonna accept this. its for granted. '
yea.. don u think so? ask yourself. when was the last time u actually stop and htink. think about what could u do for the other person. or. .just at least spend more time to appreciate it. .think about what ppl around u are thinking.
not say all of them.. but... ... yea... .
sometimes i wonder.. if its better. .to be one of the others. forget what u see right in front of u. live ur life. stop making the efforts.
just.. blend in with them .at least things could be easier on my side. but.. someitmes.. human nature.. couldnt be changed at all.u just knnew.. it couldnt. or rather, you couldnt.
o well... life's tough. overcome it. try to do so. failed, then get back up again. its so tough now isnt that so. ..geez.... why did humans have such a life i wonder.
..
gosh.. its a lil late.. and i thought i was gonna be able to slp early. ha. ..o well. i mena. .i cant realy. .i don really feell.. good.. ..
hm.. .... just a tired night i supposed eh.. ..
ah.. phones2... always nice to hear sam, or ppl's opinion about them.. yea.. i guess its all thanks to him now that ive become interested in gadgets too eh. ha.. oh an dipad.. OMG... i didnt expect it to be soo .. big!! gosh.. was like. .huh?? wasnt it supposed to be so small ? gosh.. wth. haha.. anyway, yea..
hm.. i hope starhub will hav emore lines soon ne..
mata 

Day 1

ok.. so.... my night. .haiyo... bad sia.. ...
closing ran into some stupid prob=.= watse my time.. make me go back late.. haiz.
then got home, weird things happen.
dunno should consider as weird or not ba.. but yea.. me got home.. lights alreayd on..
went into my room. .changed clothes.. on my lappy.. then go out.. saw living room light off..  without thinking anything me go on it. course ya. .u know.. i dislike darkness.
then took a few steps towards kitchen.. i turned back, look at the living room.. hey.... wait a sec... the room light was on! i din switch it off! O.o
parents slping somemore ne.. so weird.. o well.. duno ba..
then me eyes widen up. ha.. like movie sia.. gosh...
anyway, just wanna bath and stuff. .so yea..
what makes this thingy frekay is.. theres this funeral going on below the block. i mena across the road. saw it when bus passes by. so yea .
but nah.. i 'll be fine. need some slp anywya. then gonna wakey fast liao. trying not to think too much about htis hwne i head for bed later. dots.. scary.

wow. .sooo many new diary. =) its fabulous! so pretty all the items! omg. .cant keep my eyes off them.. keep on touching them. ha.. anywya, haiz.. tch.. it wasnt used to be like this.. i hate this type of working atmosphere.. where ppl are talking about why the upper (manager) isnt doing their work.. etc.. i dunno how to explain. .but yea..
i dunno..whatever ba.. .like.. o well...

hm.. .....hwat else.... ..eh.... ... o well.. about there ba.. like.. so weird. .duno how i got through my day =/
like.. so long... yet.. dunno ar.. haha.. .. so tiring..
o well.

anyway... my manager is coming back in a week's time. yay.. kinda yay.. hm.. duno. o well. haha.
hm.. k ba.. duno hwat else to say ..

*yawn.. oh.. i heard form my colleague say.. giving belated birthdya present isnt a good thing. duno why ne.

mata

End OF...

=( feel so lost. .after sammy went to bed.. feel sooo lost. and sad=( reluctantly said bye and ended the call..
sigh.. baka desu.... huuuuu....

o well. .tmr back to work.. haiz.. and he's heading back to school in days.. huu...

oh. .just now watched movie with him.. nice one.. but kena dis halfway through cos we watch too much. .the time too long or sumtin.. then gotta load =,=
then my fren suddenly pop in msn O.o gosh. but me never reply of course.
then finally we watch finish. its funny. nice movie.
and theres this part.. omg.. i laughed soo hardXD... so .. omg.. funny!!
yea we both laughed. gosh.. got me cracking up there.XD


anywy.. hm.. oh, ytd morning.. so cold. O.o i thoguht i was in sydneyXD lol. i grabbie my blankie.. yea.. soso cold.. wow.
hm.. then ytd dinner iwht family.. duno why.. sudden though of samy.. suddenly thought of the date now.. its end of july.. and i was like. .wow.. hold on there.. did i just said july? then i remembered..  ... its officially a year since sam is gone. =( huu... and there i was.. holding back my tears. was so gonna cry at the thought of thta. but yea.. held them back.. and.. uh huh.. shifted my thoguhts.. i tried. so yea. ..huu.. was so gonna cry on the spot.. but.. uh huh.. wow.... one year is gone..... ha.. making me teary now again.. ..baka desu.. ...
and to think my thoughts stil lremained at about 6,7 months.. then realises it was a year in fact.. ..huu.. so pain....

had a hard time slping again last night. .thinking of him.. and. .i duno.. just slpt hard.. and long after my head hits the pillow.
hm.. hope tonight will be better..
tmr. .working. .sianz.... gotta get through lots of 6shifts man.. this month .. i mena aug. =./
haiz....
gotta stay strong.. in all aspects.. ..
gotta be...
sigh... will hang on ne.. .. uh huh.. ..

bah............. .... =/
gambate ne pauline..

and so.. thats it ba.. hm... suddenly i guess... from 6 months.. gotta stretch to one year now eh.. wait.. no.. its 11months. ha.. ..o well...
and .. sigh. i hate it when that time of month is coming, i'll be extra sensitive during these dasy.. and that sucks.. *breathes out.. trying to keep it all together..
trying not to dwell on it all u know. ha..

hm.. was having this conversation with my fren.. hten he was like. .saying i sounded like i was gonna go to a real far away place and couldnt contact each other anymore.
i was like. .oh.. i din know i suonded htat wya.. but i replied. u know. .we never know the future.. for all u j know, i might be gone one day and never come back. I might be gone for real eh.
..ha..

hm.. o well...
so nnow.. im hating that my off day is overT_T sianzzzz... huu.. o well.. hang on for 6 days ba.. see how things are going.. ...
hm...

ok.. so.. o well.. thast my dya.. ..ha.. yea... basically just rest. .me lie on bed. .trying to slp abit or rest.. cannot nap ne.. jus cant put my mind down to slp.. maybe cos of coffee ba? ha. .o well.

tch.. =/ duno what else to say ba.. .. i duno. suddenly at this moment, things are all so bored. and... so amiss... cant put my finger into it.. maybe its just so quiet now. .and.. yea.. .. i dunno.. maybe cos its at the end o fmy night...
i dislike this feeling..

haiz.. k then.. end of my days..
nights.

mata ne.



-see u when i see u-

Nothing OnLine

hm. .day.. started out quite alrite.. cooked pasta.. yay.. cooked it the way my bro did.. spicy.. taste almost identical.. was good..
hm.. then eat.. watch tv.. then chat with sam.. aw.. haiz.. he got no payout thingy.. os yea.. =/ cant se ehim liao..
haiz..
erm.. yea.. clean2 abit room.. throw papers away.. then watch movie with him.. so nice his laughter.. ha. .so infectious^^ naw..
laugh so much..

hm... .... then me go bath .. soon to eat. .he also.. then... yea.. hm.. talk abit. .and im starting to feel so tired. .siting in front of lappy got  nothign to do.. gosh. really dunno what to press anymore..
hm.. so yea.. then in and outta my room.. watch tv and stuff..


oh yea.. last night forogt ot mention eh..
it was nice for sammy to show me the apartments in sydney.. and takl about it. yea..
i didnt realised theres such apartments thereXD ha.. .so yup.. thats swt of him ^^


hm... ... gosh.. i think forgot to mention one more thing. .dots.. dunno hwat ne. .
haiz.. tch.. o well=/

see if i could remmeber tmr night ba


haiz.. so bored. .yet doesnt wish to slp.. cos my night is ending =( then gonna be 6 full shifts. .haiz. .sianz...
hm... o wel...

haiz.. mish sam so much now =(
somemore.. =/ haiz.. if only he could get the money from the goverment thiny eh.. .o well.. ..
just han gon fo rhte days ba.. ..

hm.. so yea.. mish him so much now=( huu....
*pouts.. actualy every min of the day.. even when he online..


mata

6 Months!

aww.. just watched a thriller movie with bro and redz.. then the first part of the scene reminded me soo much of me and sammy... *blushes.. .o well.... haiz.. so miss him ne..
oh.. so... erm.. ok. .concidence or wha.. ha. .i dunno. .perhasp ba.. seems like. .sammy mummy wiht bro is coming back to sg in jan. but who knows what might happen last min eh?
however.. so.. now there could be some slight changes eh.. who knows.. i might be the one ended up going over to his side... hm.. i duno.. shall see how ba.. months back.. i checked the hotel.. hm. .wihtout tub i think. .it cost about 500+ au dollar for about a week? i think... hm.. there should be cheaper hotel.. but.. o well. .just without tub only.. we cant expect alot mah. however, having him is enuff. somemore, hm.. doing things like.. going to opera house.. or blue mountain.. doesnt cost much ne. .cept for fuel baXD
o well. .anywya, just hope things will o smooth as plan.. and.. yea.. we could relaly highly be poissble to see each other soon =D yay.. i wish!
hm.. what else happen..
..think*.2..
ok.. so.. we gave each other a smile on the face today.. by msging.. ha..
hm.. oh yes.. i shall be searching fo rmovie link...
hm..  ..gosh.. what else.. .

weird. .thought i was gonna say something? hm. .eh......... ..
not sure
but anywa, todya me saw 2 dresses. so nice T_T but couldnt buy it. and didnt buy it. if sam was here, i could just buy the dress, wear it with him on dates out.. wear nice2 mah.. XD ha.. erm.. yea.. but... now i cant.. i gotta save. .somemore.. even if buy ,there wouldnt be much changce for me to wear either.. wear so nice also for what.. usually me also never go out too late or whatever..
so yea.. =/
but becos seldom anything could caught my eye, that is why ... yea.. its abit ifficult. but it sok.. i shall forget about those expensive dresses. ion.. what do u expect. .everythign expensive =.= cept for daiso. ha..
so yea.. very2 nice ne.. swet.. anotheer is abit.. hm.. alluring. ha.. so yea... aw.. o well. .nvm ba..
hm.. wat else... .... eh.. k ba. .getting so late. .me better go get reayd fo rbed soon..
hm. .yea.. oh!! theres this old couple. .ok .. they are fashionable ppl. .not so typical kidna old ppl .. anyway , me feel so close to them. they are such awesoe frenly ppl =D omg. so swt. my manger say they love me!XD LOL... anywy yea.. whever they come in, they'll look fo rme. and bloody hell.. none of my manger nor colleague tell me about htis=.,=.. grr....
anyway, yea.. they bought tons of items.. =) im so happy. veyr hapy to see them. .always =D
such nice couple. .and htey are incredibly lioving!!!!!!!!!! gosh!! i wanna be like them in futre old days!! awww..
then i tell my manger i think they are from france. .and she offers me to intro france guys to me. yes. i just thought of htis funny thing she said. me totally forgot! =,=then  i was like. NOOOO!!!!!~ lol.
but she jsut joking.
anyway, yes.. such loving couple. .gosh.. so sweet!! and i think. .they are very2 rich ppl. however, awwww. =) gosh.. i only have nice and good words for them =)
aww.. ahhh.....
XD.. yea...
hope to see htem soon ba. gosh.. touch wood. .but if i ever get transfer,.. =( sigh.. im so gonna miss them T_T =( huuu..............
mata

Great News! =D

wow wee..... =D! ok. .so theres this plan going on. .about 6months later i could be seeing sammy!! omg!! this is nuts=D happily nuts^^ well.. just hoping for hte best.. and save whatever we can... 
hm.. yea.. so.. keeping my fingers crossed! i hope i can see him soon!!=D
uh huh ^^ great piece of news eh.. uh huh... looking forward to that happening one day.. jan huh.. gosh.. i want it so badlly.. really hope he can come withhin that time period.. menatime, we jus gotta save hard enough to make sure this can come true.. yea..
i know.. ppl will say.. so much money.. then why spend it awya.. but.. i serioulsy think its worth seeing him more than any other thign esle.
=)
but.. come to think of it.. he really  didnt have to save as much as i do ne.. hm. .yea.. somemore here is cheaper. .food.. malls.. and even if go zoo, so much cheaper!! haha. i wonder what can he buy from here..XD
anyway, its gonna be awesome if this could come true! soo gonna go explore everywhere with him!!! =) don care if its hot or far or tiring.. SO gonna make all the trips with him! =D ahh.. and hopefully by the time he's here, the uss transformer theme will be out already. should be actually.
hm. .so yea. =) night safari.. jurong bird park.. lol.. =) uh huh.. so wann go desu.. or maybe zoo again? XD

oh.. bro was telling me jurong bird park have this really  big fountain. very beautiful looking .
yea.. i wanan go check it out one day. oh, can go sience centre with him also.. lol. .XD anyway, wil lsee how ba.. or just stay at home.. dvd.. ice cream tv mode.. ^^  gosh.. loving all. =)
hm.. os yea.. basically like that ba. happy to tlaked with him =) and yea.. with such good news.. aw.. =) nice ne^^
hm.. scared it wont come true.. however it si.. just hope for the best ba.. and save3 money...

my colleagues still asking me.. =.= why don wan find someone nearer to be my bf. lol.. i think ne. .everyone who's in ldr.. will get asked this question somehow.XD
well..... its simple to reply. would u rather want true love? or just convenience? true love lasts forever. u want convenience? go find a begger also wil ldo ne. =.=
anyway, hm.. my fren was chatting with me .. then like. he complimented me.. i dunno how to explain.. like. i feel he might like me.. i dunno.. its scary.. i'll rather don wan know the answer, and trust my feelings.. and stay away from him.. yea.. =/ abit.. like. .sad ba.. cos.. hm. .wasnt the first time i gotta stay away fro my frens cos of this.. but.. yea.. its wise and a must thing to do..
so.. uh huh... o well.. as long as i stay away.. will do fine desu..
hm. .today.. hm. .alot to do ne.. i think. yea.. quite alot. anway, long story. just glad me finishied work on time. phew..
and get to speak wiht sam on time too. before i missed bus and too late home. huu
so yea.
hm..
oh yea! this mrg. .found out i overslpt. omg... becos i didnt set my alarm! i was too slpy and tired.. cos somemore i was chatting with sam through the phoen. .too comfy.. anyway, sooo glad me wakey on time.. phewwwww......
oh yea... hmm.. ... if only.. haiyo.. cannot.. just thought of sumitn. if only sam could book his ticket months earlier too. .that would be good.. cos i dunno.. maybe its the same eh.. could be cheaper if book earlier.. but cannot ba.. cos he not sur ewhen he wil lget caleld to work. .then if bookk.. then haven save enuff how.. touch wood* o well.. nvm ba.. just hope the price wil drop somemhow
k.. me slpy..and tired. .wanna slp alreayd. .hm.. did i miss out anything.. .=.= hm............
o well. tmr continue or wht ba. .ha
oh.. sam mentioend that its so bnoring to work alone.. and sacn stuf.f.. hm.. i know how that feels=/ had that before.. but i tell myself.. other colleagues want chat, let them be. . me , doing my own job and work. who knows, i might get customer leave feedback with good impression of me. correct? so yea... here to work. .not to make frens. even if chat2. ..yea..
still... ... uh huh... nvm.. i get all he sales if they continue talking.. ha. .so yea.. good for me ba..
anyway.. hope he'll be fine ne.. so wanna hug him.. watching him work.. ..

hm. .somemore thining.. i forgot say something ne. .dunno hwat.. ha.. maybe too happy over the news ba.. k gtg..
hm.. hope tmr he also get to work ba..

mata ne!!

Good 3 Off

i dunno man.. the other night. .i was liek trying to find someone to cover my shift for me.. blah3.. thinknig should i mc ornot.. then today that stupid guy mc yet again!! like once a month or at elast once every two months. this is so freaking weir. =,= anyway , ended up my manger to find ppl to cover for him. im seriously thinkig should i pretend to ask her about it? oh, i tot u guys keep saying we have to find our own replacement. how come he's not doing it? how come u are the one to do so???
gosh.. he's so.. omg.. i duno.. manager words could not be trusted? i shoudl've painted my nails all with nail arts=,=
anyway, its really irritating. good thign we managerd to have ppl cover up 2 guys. gosh!!!
IF. and i do mean it. if he ever mc during my shift, and i gotta do fullshift, im so gonna say to my manger that this will be my last time to coverfor him. COS HE MC EVERY MONTH!! yes. im not kidding. i will say that if he ever kena me full again. gosh.. so irritating. ok. lets say its real. he evry month got eye infectious, or duno what. but. its every month ne! shoudl've gone to hospital or what alreyad.or at the very least, for god sake, go find replacement himself!!!
sianz.... i wonder if i should ask my manger abt this.. but afraid to come across as being too.. on the offense side.. . anywy
today received a pressy from my manger. ^^ aw.. so nice=3 i  mena the thoughts la. then got a card soemmroe =;) haha.. oh theres another item. i think its for me according to my fren. but theres no note tat indicate that belongs to me. .so yea.. me never bring home. tmr will ask my fren ba
hm... ..so yea.. thats abou tit ba.. ..hm..... tired.. but its ncie u know.. had my 3 dasy off. .really3 made a huge difference.. me back to work, feeling good. like.. not say happy. last night feeling sukly.. cos yea. .huu. .ging back to work =/
but today.. yea.. back to work i have energy. not tired. .not  slpy.. its good. i really do nid these 3 offs.
wow. made such a difference .but of course. im slpy and tired now. ha... .
hm.... ......wonder when will i get such off again. =/ especially when me not sure how many leaves can i get nwo=/ haiz.. so wish sabrina will appear soon.. then i can ask her abou tit.. ..
work's fine todya.. hm.. yea.. thanks to my 3 off. which is really great.. ..
but. .morning .. gosh.. have to do some work.. cos dunno why the schedule is planned this way.. putting a partimer with a new partimer!? wth??  and somemore never teach them what to do.. how to do opening. .then just place them liek that, sianz. end up me do their opening work. ahh.. anyway, don care ba... i understand how difficult it is to plan the schedule.. ..so.. o well..

u know.. i guess the travel fair isnt necessary after all. i should actually check time to time the website for good deals.and not through fares.. .. hm.. yeah... i think earlier book though website. should be better than the travel fair ba.. .i dunno.. hm.. whatever. i just wish that the rates for the aussie currency will remain as low as now!! oh hopefully!! yea...
hm. .sammy still aslp.. ..
aw.. his school starting soon =/ huu..
and gnna be abck to those dasy of ..hm... yea..   couldnt talk to him much ne..

oh, ok.. so iphone is coming out. wow. yea.. i asked my colleague today. .she's using android. .theres this thing called text buzz. i asked if it could send to overseas. she say yea. cos iphone got hte whats app. so.. uh huh.. hope the text buzz will work as good. hm..
anyway,well.. im just gonna save3.. do whatever it take sba. oh, gosh.. forgot to gib parents money today .. haiyo...
hm.. so wanna go over like in jan..
last night missed him so much.. then so baka desu.. though tof hte one year time again.. reminded myself how long it is.. =.=
oh, time is fast though.. i dunno.. in a way.. i duno.. its weird.. see.. alreayd .. omg.. just erealise!! alreayd almost end of july!! XD thought its july..like in the middle or what. lol.
anwyay, yea.. my bro's fren went japan study.. then back last year dec. then coming back again in weeks time. i was like.. omg!! thast fast! like as though his fren never left. hahaha.... yea.. very fast.. and so.. for me i got 12 onths to go.. if only could reduces to 5months.. ... o wel.l..
money3....  haiz. .if only saved enufff...=/
hm.. anyway... ......... ..... what else.. oh.. redz 2 nights ago ba.. hm.. i think. stayed ove rmy palce. then also never wish me happy birthday in person. =( its over alreyad i knwo. .but couldnt ppl at leats wish me a happy bbirthday? i mena he's close to me soemmore. =.= bro ,dad and him like that... huu....
i dun like being appeared as invisible to ppl im close with =( hate that! huu... my mum ,sam and my colleagues and frens are the better ones who know and rememebrs how to wish  me happy birhtdya.. and even bouh tme gifts.. just a lil thought from them... good enuff...
haiz... yea.. truly felt the wishes all coming from frens instead from the ones im close with like family. (excluding mum and sam.)
these 3 men.. disappointed me =/ .. haiz.. o well....
hm... i think i will blog about another matter another day ba. ..
hm.. makes me ponder for today ne.. . o well
anywa, have a goodnight ne.

mata.