superly duperly depressive day =(((((((((((

sighs. .woke up with a bad dream... theres sammy. .but not gd dream.. but one psmall i wa shappy. .ot be back in aust

been having vivid weird lonng dreams.. especially hated the zombie ones. .then wokey..slp.. dreamt of zombie again.. anyway thats like not todya

omg.

been days alrdy.. since last week? last two weeks/
?
i dunno
but today i can say its the worst.
i am so depress.
i dunno what u called that

i was feeling so negative, angry, frustrated, sad. sad, and more sad, and more anger and more negatives..
sighs.. its.. terible.
even till now.. 1130pm now as im typing this line..
i still didnt feel any better=((((((

was crying half the day...
pclean my room..
tried to slp.. tried to read.. but. .i cant concentrate. =(
then back to crying mode

i think i am too bloody stress out. or im heading towards depression
im bloody serious.
cos im not feeling right
my period jsut over. .so ..i don think the way im feeling now has anythign gotta tdo with it..

i dunno

or maybe im saving too hard.. or maybe im stress aboutlife, personaly life work love and helth?

i dunno
i bloody dunno and that rrly annoys me =((
here i am, upset ,and crying over these negative feelings which i dunno whazat or why
i feel liek punching something or someone.
ya. thats how terriblke i feel=(

sighs...

wth. i dun even lnow why am i crying???

if this isnt stress nor depression, then i dunno what else ne

=/

sighs

its getting worse each day.
only at work am i able to smile.
or at least i forced myself to .
the rest of the day i felt like a living zombie

sighs............
cant take this negative feelign anymore=(
its terrible

or pehaps im not having enough slp due to work

i dunno.

wow. my arma, yet again. theres red strp[es form the 5 or 3 mangos i carried.. yea in plastic bag.
told ya before eh.
i get marsk easily.
the redness will not disappear within a long time.
=/ too weak my body eh
only mangos leh.
that time was coins. but yea..  mangos stil lcauses my arm to have red marks from carrying heavy stuffs

weak body.
i hate it

sighs
yea see. told y aim in a hating mood=/
feel liek scareaming. .punching.. biting someone.. .to vent out all my anger

rrly catn stand today =(

sighs

its so terrible. i am not happy.
i am depressed
i cried and cried
i feel so helpless

am i overly stress out by work?
what is happening to me? =(

sighs

i dunno.. but one things for sure. ive not been smiling on my off day .
work days i smield cos i have to. for hte sake of my colleages and customres
but off day, i could harldy ever smile=/


scary eh

sighs

cant have any shopping therpy now

so yea

perhaps.. i shld give up on pandora and some lingerie insyd

sighs dunno ba
nid to see hwos everything within the next month. month not yet even tell doc about when will her operation be

i might felt a bit tiny weney bit better after bloggin here

but still ... =/
haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

im slpy tired and negative

this isnt a gd sign rrly. for anybody.
if i have a fren liek htis now, i'll be dang worried
of course i wont tell anyone la.
told sammy abit ba
but ya hes' slpign

though off today, but i gotta say.

its been a terrible day.
wasted day
boring day
lonely day
sianz day
and duh negative day
tearful day

sighs

=(((((((

i miss my smile.. =(

i wanna be happy againb...

thats what my best freind always ask me. .are u happy:?
i want ou to be happy
we dont contact nor meet often. yet, i apprecriated this kind of concern.

i feel lie slping alryd. hope i wont wakey early again
seehow.. if bro play dvd maybe i wont slp

wanna watch weeping angel form doc who. =/ but he watched liao.. i missed it.. haizzzzzzzzz
then he say tourblesome to play again cos must put in two dics=(
o well.............nvm ba

jsut don regret not playing when im gone one day.

=.=

sorry ne. jjst so negative these days.

will my next off be this bad too??? =/ sighs...

im doing my best to hold it altogether

wish mye luck

sighs

mayeb will cry to slop later
dunno why just cant stop ccring and feeling sad=/

mata =/

sick ppl

just a quick short blog

yea.. looking forward to my hoiday

slpy.. tired

i can feel like im getting sick. abit runny nose now. somemoe alot of my colleagues sick too =/
maybe i got it form them?
anyway.. yea not enough rest and worried about work money blah3... haiuz.. hoepfully i wont fall sick.

anyway,m very slpy nad tired.
so wanna slp.
..so wanna rest.. so yea. will slp early ba. but again, hopefulyy wont wakey very early either. haiz

shoot. missed out the tribute for wenyong show that artitist.. .haiz.. .cant believe he's daead for over a weke liao

mm.. what else to blog..

oh so funny. lol. instigated my colleague go ask a  ok pretty lady for free membership. from our store la.
then skali another colleague beat him to it. haha. aww.. .poor thing. made me feel so bad yet at the same time wanna laugh at himXD so bad of me omg. ha. but yea. i hate that kind of rejectment too
anwyay

mm...

yea

glad sammy back to his home and glad bro coming back tmr night

tmr gonna wakey early again for work.
haiz

where is my life sia...

haiz........

just bear with one month plsu till i get to go on shopping spree or something ba
guess would stil lworry about store for sure=/ haizzzz

cos might be busy more whilst im gone=/
stress
hope rgm wont blame me =/

mata

Desires / long post yay!!

gosh.. finally asked about my leave for june.. contract didnt stat that i couldt take leave durig this period. but rgm was like.. nobody takes leave during that period. he said.. by right no bodya can. ...
well.. anyway, im surprised at this reaction. phew. though was shocked when he say cant. btu then... he asked how long imma be gone. i said a weke. he's like. .if a few days ok.. im like thinking... ppl got go syd for few days only meh? O.o
anyway, rrly glad he said i shld do roster now and find staffs.. phew
well.
ive alrdy done .and sub,itted my leave.
jus tneed to wait for my part timers to give me a reply i guess
which is not now.
too ealry still. haiz
must wait till middle of may=/

anyway,
though worried. =/
but.. rrly wish that i could have a nice long break overseas.

was like watched a couple of nice propposals videos. and like.. thinking. .it happened to one of my fren before though.
its like... how did he propose to u?
or we sorta just agreed over erm. .during lucnh or dinner? i cant remember what she said exactly.
but yea. i was like.. huh? thats it?? he asked cxasually, u said yes casuall. like. oh ok(we get married ba) . , and.. thats it??? O.o haha
omg
its a life time experience... how unromantic. at least a simple most basic surprised mah. knee down..
dinner or frens party or wat. ..nice palce.
haiyo....
forgot which fren of mine. but yea.. .i think thats wrong for a man to do that ha. if anything happen, i tell u, that man sure regret nvr treat her properly! -.=

yea. .after that wen yong artist is gone, .. yea.. i still shed tears. .still sad=/ especialy since news of him n tv shows still ard..
he's healthy. he cooked, he ate healthily. he's an awesome husband n father. leaving swt note fo rhis daughter bento. break time head home eat then go back work again...
or if hav time go home cook then work again...

sighs.. rrly.. suc a great actor humble man.. broke my heart toally.. =/ .so sad to see such a precious nice man gone just like that. cancer. sighs... even for a healthy man like him... =/
sighs.. .rrly heartache.. =((

haiz... anyway... yea. his example is like. .u knw. anybody can leave u just liek that.
who knows. i may be gone killed by a car while crossing the road. or slp in bus n bus crash. etc.. .anybody can leave when their time is up.
...haiz. .just sad.. someitmes. .in life. .no time to do what u love.. what u want. .even if hav time, no money
no life is perfect
and also said no time to say any good bye wordds to family nor frens.

thast why those celebrites rrly sad too. cos they din know about his illness. he kept it so quiet afraid of them worrying for him. and seieng him so fragile=/
nobody get to say gdbye to him.
sighs.
=/

thats why though someitmes i joke2 ard.. but its best taht u know. i will say htings like. .inc ase i didnt make it back here, tc and miss me. will miss the store and u all too. haha. they;ll be like. choy!! lol.
but true mah. nvr know isnt it.
plane crash.
kena murder while walking alone.
anything can happen.
just.. be prepared first is better.. .uh huh

haiz

anyway

mm. .one omre thign forgot to say. dunno what. memory not gd la haizzztoo much to do

v slpy now. had four hours of slp. huu
12am now. cnat wait to slp
drying hair naturally now

been sressed and tired slpy these dasy..weeks. crying. cos stress. haiz

rrly nid a break liao.
starting tofind myelf trying to stop heading out cos saving money and cos tired and sianz

wow. lucky girl. recently my fren went water theme park with her frens and fiance. then. he surprised her by bringing her to marina bay hotel . eatnice restaurant place. then at leat .this waitress asked her oen up last dish. tuned out to be a pressy of S note 2. wow. i was like. perfect day ever.

but.. .thoguh envy. yet. diff ppl get diff type of happiness.
one can nvr get enough of anything.
we're all diff mah
some ppl get diff treatment

was rrly liking this flat sleek lappy. but.. though i don rrly urgently need it .still rrly wish to like u know .own it. cos too nice.

and was like.. rrly tired. cant be bother to save and buy it. cos its exp, and cos no way paretns can afford me such thing. everything i paid using my own cents and hard earned money(yes.. .u know how much i detest those rich or brats who expects parent sto buy branded and blah3 thigns for them. hate9 them).
anyweya. yera.
but its ok. i will look at another positive side. at leats they stil lcan afford me cheaper stuffs liek fruits, food, cheap shirt, ya knw .little stuffs liike these. though still rrly wish ahh how nice to hav parents buy me as pressy  such things.. .but. no way will that ever happen .
too exp for them to afford.
anwyay i don rrly nid it urgently like i said. but. just something i wish i could hav.

mm.. yea. so screw the bloody ppl who asked or hint at parents to buy what mini ipad, mac book, or lv whatever things for them.
they shld learn to buy thigns using theuir own money.
brats rrly detests me alot. i don hate ppl ya knwo. but this type of ppl,(and animnal abusers of course) rrly pisses me off. especially custoemrs. omg. was like. ....lucky u to have rich family,m but SHAME on u still using their money at this age.
 and i mean for those  typical ones la.. like buy branded stuffs la.. even a pen or notebook.. omg. facepalm.*
this type of girls, dunno how they cna be somebodys future wife and mother. honestly .., usually its girls u know. guys... mm.. shld hav. but i don see alot.
then some girls was like. put things on counter. bf pay. they stand aside. or either that add more thigns. then bf was like. .ok ba.
=.= ''
omg

wow long blog.

anyway,

yea. very nice lappy. but. .well... let me aim for pandora first ba. ha.
mmm... seehow ne
ha. everything waslked past pandora store when going toilet, thir stor eso crowded with like i said before. all ages for both sexes. even teenagers can afford u know. omg =X
wth
(maybe using parents money again =.=)
anyway seem slike even for men and young men going in , its like picec of cake. nothigns wrong. they just buy and shop only. rrly. i dunno why pandora is so magical. it attracted all sorts of ppl there. evem bro ha.
gold is so exp.. but if hav one gold charm on bracelt, wah. .'terror' alrdy. rrly satisfied lioa., lol
cool

mm...haird almost done. 1216 now

bro in thai.. haiz. so bored n lonely
ya. .nvm. sjut slp ba

k. shall slp in abit .

m.. thin kim missing something to blog.. o well.
nvm

btw yay me going back to fair soon!!! =D hehehe. though wa slike. .mm.. gonna miss my tan.. but.. no.. better not. lol. abit tan ok. but. .lol. ..owe ll soemhow i tanned too easily ha. though still would go out into the sun if i hav a =chance though =) sun's nice. ha. stil lremmeber i always liek aust sun.

gdnight

mata ne

(so glad to blog long again ) =)

stressed out

rrly stressed out. guess not tenough slp and all. then v slpy. rested not enough. yea slpt late=/
gosh. so stress out about work.
tch
i gotta relax more man. .
not been a gd day.

first tiem (i think) wanted ice cream so bad to destress
o well

anyway rrly wanna slp badly. not much hours to slp
gosh im so not a gd early slper

mata

gdbyes

so sad indeed=( was crying over the tribute for this actor from ch 8. he's rrly a down to earth n grounded man. he is such an awesoem actor. v v sad he's gone. whats more, he actually remain a low profile even for his cancer. still cna joke n lied to his colleagues that he's not sick. only stomach flu.. haiz... v v sad= (
such a gd man.. gone liao.
im not a fan of his. but the above mentioned is allowed me to grieve over his death =( just cant take it. .and hate it whenever a good man is gone. sighs=(
somemore maybe that time of month is coming. .so easier for me to sad n cry ba

ya been stress over my leave too. somemore cant help sstressing. cos its june annd. .haiz. ..
dunno la. hate it when rgm make noise=(

anwyay, mm.. yea. slpy. slpt late. well. not too bad of a day though
just simple day.. nothing special
but beats better than at work stress more

gd thing may roster shld be all cover liao ba..
but yea. .now worred abt june. haizzzzzzzzz wish i would stop worrying so muh .cant help it.
cos given his personaility, ..yea. .haiz

so yea.. his death was shocking. anybody can die just like that. at anytime.
my fren recently also asked what will we do if she died. cos her fren's fren recently just died. out of the sudden.
life is indeed so fragile.
even the boston matter... and that poor man.. didnt even get to propose and now, he's legless . =(
sighs

life is unpredictable. full of ups and downs. whats most important is you have your love one next to you .last thing you'll ever one is to regret not saying or doing anything to express ur love for them.
omg my eyes are teary again. rrl la . must be thazt period coming. dang. better come soon and get it over with=.=
maybe i'll stress less. haiz

mata

stressout bigtime

gosh. cut my finger cos of vitagen foil. pain sia. n deep. cos finger near nailbed there (skin thin) mah.
pain. n deep. then was like. wah... cant imagines mum's cuts=( gosh..

anyway, glad she's healing

been so stressful these dasy. in need of break.
lots of worries. and stresses=(
sighs
rrly tired. just so stress out. =/
u know how ppl cry cos of stress? well. unless you're a lucky human, i m sure you'll experinece it

haiz.
just sianz alrdy ba

mm.. wat else to type. forgot

anyway hope will be fine soobn ba

huu

=/

mata

bloody situation

just a quick blog. v v slpy n wanna slp soon

so... was like rrly nervous.. .to have a talk about this issue at work. hands were shaking,
...and yea. glad its over now. but.. yea.
haiz

long story ba

anyway mum chopped on her fingers today=/
blleds the way mine does when i was cut by the fan. but mum's case was much worse.
bllood on the flloor. exactly the same as my case.
we both din realized theres blood on the floor ha. too chocked i guess

we;; certain memory is so deep.
luckily tat time theres him.

omg i cannot tahan liao
so slpy. .huu.. jaa mata ne

how to leave

sighs.. =( worried. i know i shouldnt.. but.. cant help but worried.. cos for hte may leaves it might not get approve.. =/ i dunno about june. sighs... just wish there'll be ppl to cover shifts up...
haizzzzzzzzzz howwwwwwwwwwwwww =((
book alrdy ne....
huuuuuuu

i don feel gd about this. .but.. wlel.. can only wait n see liao=/

anyway

gosh. the spicy pasta i cooked tastes awesome. hahahahha.. .. the spiciest dish i ever like hte best is my pasta, and yellow ginger chicken (and my own).
yummm
haha

anyway, haiz.... i try not to let this matter bring me down ba=/
dunno if he can extend the leaves anot
haiz... but a pity tics bought liao. so yea. .o well.. nvm ba
se ehow things goes..

sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

haiz.. is this what i wanna do.. i wonder.. to continue this job.. or what

mata

getting ready for travel!? =)

haiz./. sales rrly not been good=/

..anywya,
cant wait for pay day. then gotta settle hotel and settle some budget thigns. will work that out ba

so slpy u know. almost couldnt get up this morning
nothing much.. mm.........
dunno waht to blog ne

back hurts form sitting too much. ha. hard to sit up straight

its so weird!! i ordered a bottle of victamin, it came in 3 bottles instead=X all at different timing n days. omg. i am shocked. who knwos if there'll be a fourth one ==. '''
but well, it aint cheap. so yea. good in a way ba. free anyway. hahahhaa

mm. .was deciding waht to bring.
good hting i don have to buy anything much at all. save my money of over $100 plus for a coat i would use rarely. phew

kk. save3!

sianz forgot bring my bee hoon =( edned up have to buy lunch huuuuuu

mata.

sickey day again =/

just a quick blog!!

was sick ytd. huuu shouldve taken med. but someohwo forgot i guess?
took the otehr not srong type and suffered for hte night.. huuuu was soo slpy n tired.. .guess runny nose n headache due to lack of slp n rest. and stress?
anywyam

yea. im going for holiday soon yayyyy
so happy eh.
mm. .but owrried abt the leave thin=/
sihgs
oh why must stocktake come up at this time=/

anwyay,

took med. and wokey.. no runny nose yay. but sooo weak. huuu...
so yea.

guess im not gonna hav much slp tonight too.
opwe ll

anwyay,

saw the bras on brasn n thigns.. omg.... can spend so  much money there sia=( huuu
 why oh why their bras so nice. .dang playboy. lol
well, no choice. gota save!!!!!

mata

finger poked

cxan u believe this? i knockout and woke up at 3am. lol. at first was like. .huh? somethings wrong with the clock. .then check phone. .OMG.................... ive wasted my time slping. crap. anwyay,

the other day had a metal paint stucked into my finger. gosh. went to doc .. then kena poke ard by needele n tweezer T_T boo huuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
ig n tear . .finally the thing is ot. huuuuu
out*

anyway, so slpy n tired. been working hard. though.. dunno what for.. haiz.
cos he said it didnt matter how hard u work..

anywa
cant wait to slp. so freaking late now. phew. finally sat theres nice movies. yea .meaning i slp late too ha

my memory been bad sia. ok la. not that bad bt still.. o well

mm.. me beginning to plan for my clear leavec holiday or whatsoever liao. still not sur eof the outcome. .but we shall see ba

can u believe this idiot swt talker/ sorry ain gonna work on me=/=
invited me n my frens out for some vip club night. when i replied im not the clubber type of girl, he was like yea thats why ive neevr seen a girl like u so sweet.

omg... gth =.=




jaa mata ne

adventure cove day

omg. v v v v slpy as i had only almost 4 hrs of slp. shall cut to the chase.

so basically headed out to adventure cove water theme park.

some memorable memories.

very paiseh... when swimming with fishies... cos i hav a fear of water la.. .almost give up. but.. since frens wanna continue. .so i did.  no regrets though. cos that maybe the lastitmeimdoinghtisinthislifetimeright? nvrknows

then this big waveplace. remindedmeof jamberooinsyd.
anwyay goodthingisthey havethissafty balloonthingy. icalleditthedonut. lol
so yea. canjump in. but  a tone pioint i wsa at the highest wave edge ... alone. my frens all gone. omg. i was stucked there. i couldnt move back out cos i couldnt swim. all i do is held on tightly to the donut=( so helplessly. then wave stop. then i slwly bit by bit kick my way back. luckily just in time before next wave is here. cos if here, i will be wave back into the back area again. wa slike last sec i managed to get out. omg. =/
huuu helpless. ..i hate that feeling
soemmore theres this weird indian man or whoever. lie lookign at me. somehow he was like next to me. i was like. .omg... please let him float somewhere else... .T_T
its a weir dday.

theres this water ride liek roller coaster. the most popular of all. very cool scaary n exciting.
long wait.
a pity we din go all the rides=/
u know .. sometimes difficult with girls ard.. ...

anyway,

it was a short trip ba

adn through pics i realized i do like my body more than before.
i like my boobs my abs. my thighs. .butt.. waist ..eyea. tone. i dunno how i get that( for me i think its toen enough la. .don care wat others think tone anot)
but well. im happy that im satisfied with my figure=) and its more than satisfied

gosh so slpy so wanna slp now. but holding on cos bro playing scream 4. nvr watch before..

eyes closing huu..........

will try to blog more next tiem ba

cant think now. i just wana slp soon.. right after movie..

mata