wish came true

wow .today i received a dream news. wow.... though happy and ecited, yet there's shocks, fear and yea...
u know. too much to consider about. so i need to ask lot of questions and all..
but i fevrything goes well, the hardest part wouldbe be to tell my parents about it
haiz.

but im trying not to think too much first. nor put hopes up too high in case nothing happen. though gm alrdy approved my request.  but nvr knows. skali visa prob.. and money prob... or parents object badly? i dunno.
so i'll do my best not to think too much and be upset. wl lse ehow first thing first .

so yea.
,mm... o well
but its a gd news nonetheless. been praying and wishing for so many years. .finally...
so yea. jsut a short part of blog about that

gosh so slpey.

oh so funny. sm asked if i wanna treat her earlier on. cos she say she tlaked to rgm about it.. then somethign happened.. rgm then yea

anywayyyyyy

so she was saying how she wanna buy the pandora charms. ha. i wanted to say treat her lunch. but she heard as treat her a charm. so ok lor. anway she did treat me times before. so yea.
then she treated me lucnh . so full

im so tired and slpy now. no energy .totally tired.
im so slpy right now. looking forward to slp

ao yea.. so many thoughts goign through my mind. but.. .o well .
wil ldo myself not to stress myself out or yea  ukjow.

o well..
haiz.

what sort of life do i want anyway...

mata

rip cory

ok gonan blog fast.

just had a very nice make me smile very happily non stop  long concversation with sammy ove the phone texting away ^^
love it. hehe yay

yay foun my ring. though..  the opal necklace still .haiz. at least i got mmy ring back =) happy desu

si sad.
the cory from glee show news. ..sighs. after rehab.. he still cant get over drugs =(
i can picture how lea his gf is grieving right now.
like. .eevrythign seems fine.. then suddenly imagine somebody tell u  ur partner is dead. you'll be like. ....what? joking or what?
how can it be. and there'll be lotssssssssss of WHYyyyssssss
=( rrly sad .
sighs. in the end he stil lgets defeated by drugs. now leaving griefs and sadness behind the ppl he loves. and the ones who love him
sad indeed =(
talented young man gone just like that. all because of .... haiz

cant he do his best to give up drugs for her?
even at the risk of her leaving him, he still wanna do it? =/
but i understand how hard it is fo rhim. maybe he's not used to being so healthy... without drugs.. so he gone back to it.

btu .. poor thing.. his gf. this news...

be it which ever way round.. ur partner is all good. everybody thinks  he or sh eis fine and looking at their best.. then suddenly the death news drop.
wth.
life huh.
so fragile.

he couldve have a beautfiful life ahead with her iwth childern.. with nice career but.. all 's too late now

can feel the pain of his gf. sighs =(
so sad
worst call ever to get. worst2 part is. al lthose questions. why. why3 . why did he do it. what was he thinking before he decided to do it.
eetc.
duno true anot. read that she was readin ghis last tex msgs.. and voice mail. .trying to learn what is going on. .any clues. .why.. .
of course its a human nature hing to do. search through the very last few moments togeher spend and said.

haiz.
how could he do that and left ppl so heartpain.. .she dont deserve it. honestly, i dislike her. that one long story. but yea i don like her. but.. i pity her now. so yea .

anyway,
saw this the mis sg. omg. the winners all. ..sorry to say =/... not very attractive leh. omg. .... what the..... haiz.
and one of the bikini pic i saw from the yahoo news, this girl, holy cow. so friggin skinny!!!!!! her waist.. omg........ sh eneeds food!!!!!!!!! this kind of girl not pretty. so uncool =/
rrly .. sorry to say. ugly =/
cant stand it.
so much liek a skeleton
anywa yea the winners.. .haiz. plus the candidates, all not attractive. all very normal looking.
why ar.

haiz

kk gtg rush for slp! mata!!!

real name

soooo slpy. just a quick post thn imma off to bed

soooo crowded. though yes its a little busy. but too crowded .very sianz.
ytd worst.

soemreo took me so long to calm my btoh swollen eyes... .haiz.
rrl no mood to work ne.
o well
over alrdy ba. so ... uh huh

ha. jsut recalled. met my tamp customer .the one i asked him if thats his real name when i signed him up for member. he still reemmebr . lol.
that time my colleague thought its other girl .so say quit alrdy. but its me . i was out for break or something when he arrived that time. hahaha.
luckily its alright. i tol dhim i didnt quit. luckily he nvr mention the fake name part. so paiseh.
only ask casually la. maybe he think it sfunny too.
long story. back to one yr agao when i was sill at tamp

anyway,

soo slpy. kk gtg . heading off to bed. eyes closing. been looking at pandora.

when i wore it for the first time todya, like.. ok ba. didnt feel anythign too wow or special. though i do like it.
but yea. still thinking how nice itis if its from sammy. then when i waer it, the feeling wwouldve been so totally different.
will be more special and close to the heart feel .get what i mean?
he say one day will make one for me. ha. o well ..i'll wait ba. til lthat day come.

fo rme, i think its always one of the best thing when ur important love one gib u something to wear everyday.
ring, bracelt, necklace, earrings... yea.
though i seldom waer earrings now cos sometimes it hurts

kk gtg. so late liao

mata

tears and heartache

today bro bought me the pandora charm. was supposed to be happy but
guess i made a worng stupid joke.

then we had a tiff

then cried so badly..
its lie havin gmy heart break once again..
thats what u expect isnt it. .when u han dover ur heart to the one u love.

bad thing was. i couldnt even stop cryinginfront of my dad. thogh i locked my room, i think they stil lcan hear. i was kidna near my door. and was crying out loud.
no wonder mum asked soemhting like. .if im alright or waht. cant rememebr. too tramatised

my family like that one..
and im glad they do..
cos. .doubt i can handle if they come over and ask me whats wrong. .then give me advide.. etc.. lovey dovey.. i ratehr they stay away for me.. and leave me alone
thogh its not the best option. but . yea.

i had some bad thoughts .. rrly bad thoughts

not gonna sy it here ba
its unhealthy
but yea

so this is how unimporant i am

can just htroaw awya liek that eh

cant stop crying.
heartache .. is so painful
so painful i can die

hoow would u have treasted me

wated to eat 6 pandaldos at one shot.

had four now.

ha. first one dropped and roleld to bro side. had a shocked. luckily he was tlaking on phone. and apssed me back the pill
don think he suspected anyting ba

so tired of life
everday is a struggle

so depress right now. at htis moment. day tiem thogh was getting better. .guess i was wrong

dunno who started this.. i don even wanna start any argument.
think i wanna hrurt myself isit

i wonder how can i stop myself from crying to slp tonight. seems hard. v hard.

k ba. gonna have another two pills then go slp liao.

nobody wil lknow anyway

so tired. .so tired

dunno whast the meaning of al lthese

jaa

negative vibes

oh no tmr sure slpy

so... today... so sianz. feelign so down sianz and negative. superbly negative. 

=.= haizzzzzzzzz

i think its nothing to do with my time of month after all. 

now im thinking clearly of life. 

and its depressing. 

im trying not to dwell on those too much .but cant help it. 

woke up, and was like. .gosh. i think i had another bad birthday. 

maybe it wasnt that bad? but i was feeling rrly bad tats all eh? 

i dunno anyway its over now. nothing special

slpy now. 

lol. tmr having a xmas theme in store. uh huh. u heard tat right. oh i mean later . haha .5months in advance the xmas celebration. geez=.= 

funny eh haha

anyway, 

yup. 

so much to do whenevr new stocsk arrived

maybe.. jsut maybe. .tmr i'l lbe more positive eh

sighs

wishing its my off day alrdy.. 

mata

bored girl

mm think ive wasted my day ne.

gosh bad day it is. =/
feeling sulky all day.
cept for the part when i made a nice looking yummy salad.
anyway,

still feeling sianz ne.
all day in room online n movie.
didnt even feel like reading my book =(

headcche now .
feel like slping ealry

sighs

just so bored out of my wits

extremely bored. cant even smile

=/

haiz.

thought i'll feel better today.
but guess not

jaa mata

b'day home celebration

ahh... so.. i wont say its the perfect bday ba.

just feeling gloomy.. then yes.. time of month is here=.= feeling extra sianz.
now also =/
then runny nose whole day.

went to hosiptal . glad mum is considered as ok. so see the doc six weeks later. in the meantime, must eat more outside food huuuuuu=/
and se emy aunt. huuuuuuuu sianzzzzzzzzz

so yea. bought ice cream cake. wanted to get small. but bro say bigger better. more worth it. glad i bought the big one. cos its yummyyyyyyyyyy everyone say so. even dad.
ha. bro finally said happy birthday to me this morning=.= like oh he suddenly recalled. then dad.. he nvr say leh. din hear. but yea. awkward for himmaybe?

my very first own birthda cake. hehe. so yummy

so .. no pandora.
bros ay another day.. huu
then me deicede to change my mind and get myself another bday gift. online ebay pandora lor. haha
not bad ba.

gosh so slpy when i got home. cos not enough slp and suddenly wakey by mum plus runny nose whole day. =( what a birthday of mine eh. =/.=
basically its jsut the same.

oh had a grand lunch today at paradise dynansty(i think ) v nice. had always wanted to try there.
so yea

mm.. mum cant see yet.. hopefully soon. very soon

so slpy. nid to slp soon. though say only. haha.

was talkig the toerh day. with my colleague. its like we girls seems to be able to tell the guys thigns that happened.. or tlak about our fren blah3.... but they usually just keep it to themsleve. guess thats just a man thing eh. O.o o well.
 perhaps noting worth tlaking is what they think.

slpyyyy omg.

mm... wanna go out also ..ust think twice. cos feelbad leaving mum alone at honme. haizzzzzzim going bonker. =( been depress for way too long.

then soemmore today voucher thing called by sm.. dunno la.
just rrly bothers me.

tch

its rrly not a gd day eh

now that period is here, i hope i will feel more vibrant soon. happier.
cos now i still dwells on the negative. sad mode. =(
cant cheer up.
sighs

gosh eyhes closing. gonna hit the sack soon

mata