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slowly finding  the pace in life... me so slpy.. but too full liao.
so yea

mm... very slpy... .wanna slp soon.. not even 12 yet.. by the time im done typing n online shld be midnight le ba

had a terribel nightmare.
ghosts. family and few ppl i duno.
just yea.. scary ghosts... nightmare.. .i hate
mm.. os yea

anwyay
so tired liao. only one day after work.

me enojyingmy books so far.
its great . i would rather read. to keep my mind off thigns.
so yea
.. o well.
its better this way ba. gotta keep focus

so slpy. cant think straight

thigns that are bothering me
still bothers me
but unsure of how to fiz them

oh eya., finally the mom hting. ppl asking questions
and yea. it s gonna raise quesing to gm in aust. i hope they will give us a gd answer to pho adn all. haiz. and medical fee
o well.
sianz ne
after so long then htis happen
better than neevr

i ahev a fren who's not happy. but he's always happy and crazy on the outside. but hes not happy he said.
i can feel it i think
i don feel happy too. at work laugh. then. its over.

oh. so funny. today came in a handsome angmoh all collegaues asked me to see. lol.... bt i was busy serving la. then they say he left for topshop. asked me go see. LOL >my colleagues s o funny soemtimes.
so waht if i see? hahaha. not liek aythigns gonna happen .see for wat


haiz. anwyay... boring life. gotta read n read. then try to htink wat is it that i wan. i hate lonely life

mata

gdbye website

had a fever tonight. colleague was telling em about it. but id dint believer her. but. .yea. turned out she was right.
terribel sick feeling peeps.
but...
its as though i am pushing myself to the limit. i don wanna rest.
the more quiet i stayed, the more i cant keep still..
sighs

throat still hurts
wokey in middle of night .. cos slpt early. maybe. dunno. but the pain woke me up. so pain. i was crying. rrly pain n terrible feeling.

i think .yea. perhaps. it is time to stop everything.
u know how i talked alot in fb.
well. i think its time to stop(if i can).
becos theres limited of ppl i can say things to. soemtimes they are not there.
and i cant keep track of my frens lives.
etc
but yea. i think i should try to stop.
anyway i've always kept everything to mysel. wont make a difference.
everything will be in my own private life.
nobody will know anything of what im doing or how im feeling. when i say im fine, they will believe.
when i say im happy, they will believe.
so be it ba.

its ok.
i'll see how things go eh.

such simple happiness.. .such difficulty to attain. at hte very least, i still have my own lil space here to type it all out. but who knows.. maybe one day i'll come around and decieded to stop everythign too. no body will know anything about me then.

yes. it is most important.
care for others. always do. put myself last.
im used to it anyway.
so used to it. though it still hurts. but.
what more would i dare to ask for eh.

k ba.

just hope tonight i'l lget to slp well and throughly without waking up in middle of night in pain again

its itme to say gdbye. i'll do my best.

but after i let go, what wil li be doing..

heavy hearted days

its great to have sammy back.
great partner and support too.
but so sad he couldnt be with me here.
or i dunno how to get there

toda still didnt feel very happy. trying very hard otbe. especially at work.
all the more i need to be

anwyay, throat hurts very badly in middle of night.
=/ now still hurts. but i dunno why. not enough water u think?
imagien if i trasnfer. cannot even drink much. will be alone most of the tiem. how to go toilet =/ ridiculous i know. haiz

can feel the stress hitting me. i think maybe im the one giving myself alot of stress too ba
so eya=/
jsut thigns happened alot.. and. .it hit me quite hard ya know.

o well. haiz

now dunno whats next step. wanna hokiday . but.. .yea
need to clear leave before end of fy
mm
o well

oh yea. mom visited our store.
this uncle so nice. he took down our particulars. and also mine of course. then say oh u same year as my son.
then blah3... talked abit. say his son stil lschooling.
blah3. .lol. this uncle studied 2yrs of jap u know. he's quite good. but he gave up cos jap msut learn kanji. his chinese not good . so he deciede to give up. aw. .wasted eh
nothigns easy
but cna sense he's trying to u[sell his son or something. v funny and abit awekward

kk. gtg

dunno why my heart is still so heavy. =/
i gotta think brighter man.. otehrwise its hard=/
slpy liao. though slpt more than eight hours. dunno why. too tired or wat.
suddenly it dawned on me today that i am back to the tired mode pl.
yea. but im pushing myself to head out .so yea. i don wish to go back to the every off day stay at home pl.
maybe once wil ldo fine. but not all the tiem

rrly wondered if i shouldk head ot clark quay from my frens advice. but inn the end i decided not to. im stil lscared to do so.

jaa mata

lonely sometimes.

sadness period

been long since i felt this way. .
back to sad kinda mode..

gosh. too much singing or what. my throat hurts.
=/
hava  bad feelign about this .i cant afford to fall sick now

haiz. hopefully in middle o f year, i can go travel overseas. holiday. not travel .lol .can only afford go one place. mm.. but duno .... if leave can be approve on tiem, save on tiem, or wat...
haiz. too long nvr travel. forgot alot of thigns liao ba?

anwyay

yea.. .haiz. sad.
sad sad mdoe
i turned down my fren's job invitation.
it couldbveb een better . but. my heart is thinking otherwise . i followed my heart. but i wonder if i made the right decision..

sighs.
...well. ppl must amke mistakes in order to realise the right way to go huh

im worried about my fren.
im worried of lots of stuffs
im worried of wha tim doing
im worried of ...alot.

heart so heavy

tryign to pull myself together. and think what could be the best fo rme
sighs. but i have no idea
im lost suddenly

back to square one.
sighs
rrly dunno what to do

=(

...i cant wait for sleep. i am slpy i think. just tired abit. but.. brain. .so slpy. cant think straight

haiz.
tlaking here.. didnt make me feel any better
cant speak to family.
not used to open up my heart

mata

stressful

so tired and slpy. cant wait to slp. ...days draws near as im about to step into a different timezone of my luife.

to be honest i am not happy at all =/
with everythign. everythign thats happening in my life. or almost. well. i hate it
sighs
=/
i just dislike everything.
and u kow. i think i didnt have a gd rest for that one week leave

sighs.
i feel stucked again in life.
i don know waht i want .
or what im aiming for.
maybe i do. but is that wat i rrly want?
life can be so lonely sometimes.
and worst thign is i cant even tell my family about it. not even to my bro.

dunno why today feel like havign a breakdown ha. maybe too confusde ba .
sighs

life huh. always ups and downs.
make one wrong move, and thats it.

...
sighs

cant seem to cheer up. though i rrly pushed hard to be happy today. i did. happy for abit. then. .i coudlnt force anymroe. was so focus at work. cleaning up the mess left behind
someoen supposed ot help me. but ended up i do everything by myself

haiz

anyway. .more i say more sad eh

k. hope i wont think so much, and have a gd rest.

mata

worries

omg =X totally forgot all about bloggin! haiyo. been stressed out this oneweek plus. =/
work, goals, etc.. .kinda lost track of where i am

anyway, so glad my money all returned to me liao. and ive learnt my lesson so yea

anyway, haiz. seems like store transfer is inevitable=/ so yea...
dunno what to do
dunno can my body take it anot.
will i rrly leave this job if i have to?
dunno ba

dunno what i want.

wow. my body so ..'weak'' .carried a super heavy bag causes my flesh to tear inside. =X
whoa . tlaked about bleeding bruises

so sleepy uddenly. not been eat well. nor slping well. its been a unhealthy crazy week=/

haiz.

mata

stucked life

it slike.// weird

ha.

... my customers.. like those middle age parents.. they love me. whenever i talked to htem, they'll suddenly change their topi to their own hildren.
opposite sex child imean.
like they wanan mtatchmake me with their children or something cos they liek me.

sad huh. the man i love , his parents standards so high that they c oulnt liek me for who i am
.. soemtiems i wonder why cant hisparents be like my customers.. .others so eager to have me, yet... the important ones, those who matters ones, decided to throw me aside just likethat
..ow ell..

he still.. i can tell. .eh rrly still. .cant make up his mind...
.. in future.. how would he  wan me to be in his life. .et.c.
..
 if lose me,.. .then.. this wo9uldnt be my fault then eh

sometiems i wih the man i love will be brave enough to say. i lvoeu . in future i will stay with you.
i willl be with u.
and we will be together/.

..to sya it without hesitations. without a doubt.
to give me a promise.

... todya i am so stucked with my ;life. =( .. sighs..
long story.. but i dunno what i want anymore...
i rrly dont. im so stucked... ...

=(

sighs

mata

frustrated mood

haiz. back to boring life. huuuuuuuu T_T sometimes dunno waht i want liao

anyway, sighs. sammy going away for long ne. think his internet will be bad ba

me so slpy. weird. after one week of rest. still. .. haha. o well
go back kena almost 100 ocartons of stocks.
omg. tired. still got bits of energy left. but very slpy

off day going to work early mrg. so yea...

gosh. suddenly back to normal hectic.. busy yet so boring and dull life.
lack excitement.
what can i do

seek my frens advice and go out alone to pubs ar. omg. can die sia.
no courage to do tha tanyway ba
but it wil be nice to chill out alone even though my intenetion wont be making 'frens' there. but having some fresh air out there. ..might be nice eh.
but still out of omy comfort zone .going beach alone to suntan is one thing. and the darest thigns ive ever tried in my life. but. .hahhaha. . this is way too much .though i know my frens worried about me la. ha.
work is like ..plays a huge part of my life

mm... sm say rgm disapprove o fme going syd work.
o well =/
dunno ba. i alreayd knew his answer.
today i tionk i feel frustrated

=/ not a good feeling ba. dunno how to explain. perhaps lif eback to dullness again =/

kk. .gotta slp soon .
haiz.. i must try to stay happy and cheer up

mata

back to work tmr =/

tired liao.

huu.. saw baby ka chua in my room T_T huuu hopefully wont see it ever againT_T

need to sleep liao.. soon.
so tired though did nothing much.
mum's birthday today.
almost forgot. maybe due to cny and my fren's departure ba so ayea
luckily when wokey bro told me wer'e going to have mums birthdya lunch.

anwyay, been sulky days though.
ok ba. not a bad one week rest.
but.. couldve been better. didnt expect htis is what or how it will turn out. ..mm.. but yea
i think thigns will be fine ba
mayeb. dunno. se ehow.

dreads going back to work. still need to htink of going other outlet anot. .=/ haiz
anwway
perhaps i wont think so much if i at work eh.
my fren will ahve their own life. mme too right
haiz


anway. .kk. gotta go rest soon
hope tmr be a good day

ahh. nice. finally a movie dvd with bro. after sooooooo long. finally a chance to watch dvd with him.
nice.

ja amata

mm,.. forgot what ot blog. .i thin khav one thing to blog. .cant rememebr..

feeling better perhaps for abit

morning. .woke up. .heart still feeling sore and all... still cant believe i lost' another fren..
but luckily fren asked me out meet up abit for food. so yea.. at least took my mind off stuffs.. .
so yea...
haiz... wat  a day. ..another day passed just liek that huh.. .o well...
now feeling better abit.. much better. .but.. tmr wakey, or during night tiem will i think alot again>? probably. but se ehow
haiz

o well

wat else.
feel like singing.. dunno ne. .leave almost over.. will i get to do stuffs like that?
at least today i relax abit.
not totally . but better than none
haiz
so tired

been stress out lately i guess=/
pimples coming out haiz

k.. guess id better go

me.. still not happy
=/
still feeling quite weird..

o well
thats life ba
me toto attach to ppl liao

jaa

cny 3rd day.. sad =(

my fren left sg. another going by end of yr. sihgs... me rrly heart pain...

sighs=(

totally reminded me of the time when i said gdbye to sammy.
so painful.
i hate airoport. i hate goodbyes
even though someitmes htey might say will come back soon, but they never did

anwyy, me been very tired these few days.

and finally get to go night safari. wow. luckily its a cooling night. so yea. ont bad. quite a fruitful trip. worth the money.

mm.. been long day ba. relative house n all..
steamboat was gd
mm..
wat else
stuff like that ba

eat alot.
mm.. cny mah. its ok i suppose eh
but v dehydrated. me trying to drink lot of water

mm. .stil lsad. been crying fo rcny sighs. not gd
o well

cant control nor help it mah=/

somemore period time is hrer soon i think. haiz

kk.. gotta do somehting to cheer myself up. but dunno wat ne.. =/

huu

oh luckily got the company of the lil kids in my house. they looking at pets. so i get to stay in kitchen. ha. no neeed go living room. so awkward.
omg. so cute the girsl .one of them is 3 yrs old. sooo cute.even gave me a hug. cute lil angel. hahahha.. she loves rabbit.

jaa maata

happy chinese new year!

my friend frustrated me today. argh= /spoiled it

nvm
don care

anwyay this year cny dinenr we din eat together. all ate separately the timing
mm... quite excited fo rcny i guess. cant believe its tmr. wow.
compared to when i was lil girl.. yea. soem feelings were gone. innocent was i back then....
ha

anywya 2 yrs nvr see my relatives. so yea. hope i'll look good tmr ne =)
and everything will go well
mm..
what else..

ehh.... nothing muc ba. went out. wanted to recycle my dress. skali came across this dress love at first sight so yea. ha. u know me. love at first sight. not so exp. so yea. can buy. i do like it. more mature. =)
and abit sexy. more mature la haha. something diff form waht i usually wear
bought some steamboat ingredients too

mm.. so yea

hoep this will be a good weak ne.

leave will be over befor ei know it.ha so must enjoy

just watched finished cny tv. mm.. .yea.
hoep tmr be a good day ne .hoep they wont ask any awkward question. lol.

jaa mata ne

gentleman

sighs. .today still din feel taht great. okok ba. but.. =/

anway, todya so nice. a man kind enough to offered his umbrella shared with me. its like theres few other ppl with umbrella u know. all women n aunties. but noen of them kind enough to ask me. somemore i couldnt walk fast. my slippers too slippery. i contemplate taking them off u know. then somehow last min this man asked me. wow. i was so touched. luckily got umbrella. so yea. phew.
good man.

haiz. wokr thing stil lbothers me. =/
..sighs
how ar

me not been happy for these days huh
listening to boa songs now.

slpy. .v slpy
one moer day of work. .hoepfully tmr will be a good day ba..

thigns i wanna do, but couldnt...
haiz


jaa mata

bad sad day

omg so late. gtg slp!! short blog

so sorry been away. been rrly buisy and all. haiz
=/

so much to do. so much at work. todya not a gd day. dunno wat to do with future. shld i or not go other outlet. sometimes i wish to get away from here. form everything. sighs.

cny coming. im looking forward to that. but recently soemthing cropped up. and im very sad=/
trying to be strong. just personal issue.
well. .in life, things always happen

kk gtg. sorry no blog for long

me need slp. tmr wakey early

jaa!