oops. no la. not left with 3 pills. but anyway. something abt it makes me go back to taking it. and .. duno what happened. last night i took it before bed.
after abt.. .12 hrs later? i had a headache. so i took the red box panaldo. then soon after, less than an hr) , my left eye .. under eye. got this lil bumps like itchy. exactly how its like when you've got stung by mosquitoe. but it isnt the case i know
that time when i took delmonte(i htink thast the name) green box one. same thing happened. think also my eye .oh eye lid i think.
but anyway. dunno coul it be panaldo and the supplement crashes together? but its abt 12hrs since i took that supplement ne .before panaldo. o well. dunno ba. then 2hrs later , a new bump appeared near my under lash. so uncomfy like a pebble there. =.= gosh. o well. then soon, hrs later ok alrdy. now still can see swollen la.. but not so so bad.
mm.. rrly cannot anyhow take pills.. but... its not drugs mah. o well. watever bah .
think next time imma try another brand. dunno why i haven throw that bottle.shouldve done so earlier. =.= left with.. dunno .10 pills or so?
was asking my fren who studied in syd before abt aprils weather. sicne sammy nvr reply to my msg, so yea. figured tat i still cant msg him so.. o well. ask my fren instead. cos was thinkign of getting the uniqlo fluffy jacket. so was asking her if i needed a thick one like for winter. she just say its colder but not as cold as winter. o man. how ne. feel like buying. mm... thought of leather jacket. .but.. .. the fluffy one is so fluffy(i can die) XD, and its rollable. so its travel frenly
se ehow ba. not cheap ne
did i mentioned?
i can dance without drinking. O.o
like. yea. with frens who go ahead and dance, its ok bah. like. .yea.
as in. a coupek of drinks wont get so high. so yea. and i still cna dance .just not that crazy la .but haha. yea. XD
oh. outside club, theres two women. erm young women ba
frens i guess? think they're high alrdy. ater drinkign too much perhaps?
one of them sat down with her leg across (roughly cho lor type) , and touching her heels blabbering complaining abt something loudly ==. her fren sat next to her said something. blah2..
then the rough lady, (im guessing shes complaining her heels very pain?? dunno )
started walking .. omg. so hideous. sorry to say that. but .. omg. imagine she's wearing a dreass. tube dress. clubbing dress. and heels . u know.
the image sounds nice, but omg. the way she walk,,.... not a woman =.= at all. i was dumb founded. my jaws dropped on the spot. (her fren then walk and catches up with her. her fren more sober bah) .
i was like.. how can a woman . a lady act like this way>?
O.O
any man wouldve put off by that. wow
shocking. rrly .shocking .
she was whining and arms swing and legs walking like a man... very very rough and chor lor.
omg. like.. .her image is so diff from how she acted.
i wa slike. no lady should ever act like that.
soemmore.. dunno bah. seems like shes' still half sober.
its not the drunk till insober kind.
is drunkbutstill u know who u are kind. but u let down ur guards cos u cant pretend to be a nice looking girl ..type. so yea. if shes v dead drunk can sorta understand. .but yea..... wow. i wasrrly shocked that night. that... is a good example of how u cant judge a book by its cover. bebeath that dress and makeup, and heels, that image.. .is this true person... u will never call her. . a woman. nor much less a lady... .
its a rare chance for me to go club.
but don think i will anytime soon., i rarely go anyway. in fact. my first since so many years. wow O.o
o well .
glad im still able to dance ha.
its great to have protective frens ard.
but sianz when u get to see repetitions of the same guys ard=.= trying their luck to get into the'circle' . gosh. facepalms. wont they give up =.=
oneo fmy fren. first time there. remindede me of my first also. my colleagues brought me there. ha. i was so innocent and dunn owhat to do. then 2nd time club. .was with sammy then.. and yea.
forgot my dream. .but dreamt of him again... and. .it wasnt a nice one.. o well .good htign then. that i forgot. but the other bad dream i remember.
nowadays inm back into slpign again. to heck with bugs. but yea cos now no prob .. i think .
anyway . yea. slp. slp away all troubles and stress. i rrly like to slp for a long time. i look forward to closing my eyes and shut down my mind.
shut it down all away...
peacefulness....
so yea. rrly like slp alot. mainly its becos i get to shut my mind down.
cept for nightmares.
oh. did i mention? i had a v bad dream last week. i think .last week bah.
oh yea think idid blog it down.
haiz.
at least stil lhave him to msg then. o wlel
wait.somehting slipped my mind.. i was supposed to say somehin .g.
oh yea! phew luckily i rcalled=.=
recalled.
sorry lazy to backspace n all to change spellings
anyway.
was like so stressed out that.. in middle of night, (bro gone to bed early abit) .. .i cried my heart out .liek rrly cried v painfully and v badly =(
so afraid parents will come outta the door.
sometimes they do.
dunn oif they can hear anot. by the itme i slp, it was 3am.
so yea... see... so sad eh. i wanna cry, also cannot cry freely. still gotta control my tone. cannot cry out truly and loud. cos if i do, sure they can hear. i was trying to tone down... yet crying.... tears streaming down my face...
i would love to cry out loudly and released all the stress... but.. i couldnt.. cos.. i dun wan tothers to worry.. .adn. .cos.. im not living on my own..
sighs
thats oen of the reason why i wanna live alone .craved out on my on. cos only then am i able to ... be myself. enjoy the freedom...
when i don feel like eating so much, i can cook my own small meals..etc... instead of feelign obliged to company parents and eat heaps... cos.. if i don i feel guilty..
anyway. haiz. htats abt it ba
talk next timem
oh.. and. .ive been feeling. .. like given up. i dunno.
i .. cant seem to care abt mysself more than last time.. .etc. ..but im always great at caring abt other ppls even my colleagues .
only at work amm i alive. or trying to be. no one can tell.
i.. jsut dunno where to find my motivations again... or do i hva one to begin with. .
i find heaps of excuses not to run. .etc.. its worse than before.
..am i too tired alrdy. i dunno. but.. yea.. perhaps.. .being a celebrity dog is better than a human .
aint that ncie eh .
k bah. thats abt it. thanks for reading.. .
oh. rgm coming back tmr=( gonna be double the stress... haiz. o well. wish our team luck.
haiz.. mroe stress coming..
oh. i did ask myself again. to work with stress and get mroe pay and be not so happy,
or get lesser pay and be relax and abit maybe happier?
many pros will say go for happiness.. money doesnt matter.
we all know the answer to that. ..tis just a matter of... .will u choose that....
lesser pay..with more happiness?...
relaxation.. .with ur lov eones.. .
or.. .yea..
i.. wonder hows future is gonn abe with him..so ncie... .then.. i wonder.. how will it begin..
6 yrs and a half plus.. it holds dearly in my heart.. .but.. i wonder if he does..
my frens asked me. .why i dun wanna open my hearts up to other guys. waht. to someone like that guy? 'give me back. give me back my heart;''XD lol.
jk. but yea.. .once youve given your heart to someone,....... u know how it goes..
oh. i was like. .ong story. but i was liek usin gmy jap tone and saying the jap.. thank u.. ..welcome.. .my collegaue was like.. omg . hahha so cute XD
lol. thast how they sound mah. if i rrly wan, i can rrly do it. o well. too bad im not a pro of jap language. haha. but im still .. yea. v much liking it
oh.. prior to the part wher i talked abt the unlady like woman ,
i think.. a true woman... mm... difficult to say.. she can be sexy on her own.. doig her own thang. .. without tyring too hard. demure at the same time. .kind.. . and giving... mm.. hard to say all bah. bt yea. u get the drift. and.. .i rrly wish that i can strive to be like that. the perfect and wonderful woman i cna be.
wonderful, demure, yet naughty and kind and sexy and angel and devil like. i think i am. but thats not up for me to judeg.eso yea.
but im pretty glad with who i am fo rnow.. .
oh. uknow. i todl my colleague the other day. we're laughign at my another colleague cute actions. when she's in a hurry. and. .i was like. .ey u know waht. htats like the happiest laugh ive ever had in a long time. .i dun even know whens the last time i ahd such a gd laugh. .. besides the trip in syd. .then she's like. .yea.. thats becos youve been sad for so long..
o well. .
k bah. rrly for now. jaa
looking forward to neil liams on movie.
mata
No comments:
Post a Comment