to marry....

ha. so here i am again. sorry. cos i wasnt too sure abt last night. i tot.. i needed to getawy from Everything....
i still do.. and.. yea. but.. perhaps blog... they're part f my life for so long.. and.. .the place where only i can tell of my probs and                   share my happiness.. and.. yea. ths si the ..only place where i can talk abt my true feelings. not to frens. but only here. though.

im.. wea.k .physically... ever since yea...
and... even today.. .i felt as htough imma faint again. not that dizzy but ts there u know...
 ... i htink. no. i know. i worsen the case.
but... lsighs. i cant help it. =/

lasgt night. i couldnt finish up the rice. i duno. since ytd i forced myself to eat. i was hungry. guru2. but.. i forced myseld to eat.
cos i nid food to survive. i live for my team as well .to stay focus.
i aim for. within  2 yrs.become a regional manager.
if tat woman can do it, why cant i.

my team say ppl say im strict. my sm say. thatsgood.
my rgm cant believe it. as im alwyas the sso called u knwo.. sweet frenly spoken nice girl .
bbut im strict. hell i am.
anyway...
yea.

a brand new pave ahead of me.

pain is now.
i will try my best to erase them all...

i don share anythign to my frens. thast the problem.
... cos i cant open up.and let  them see me liek this..

my best fren... of many yrs.
phe recently commented on my pic in facebok.
he says... pauline u look different.

i am not that much of  asurprised at this comment. cos....
i Knew.

when i look back  at my pics...
i can tell the difference.

from long ago i knew

cos me...my face. .i changed quite... yea. hugely,
im not ashamed nor afraid to say. yes. i look better than i used to be. even compared to a year ago.
every year... i see something diff abt me. its better . much better not worse.
and i like that alot.
every single year is diff... and... yea... ist almost as if its magical
i dunno how to reply his comment. so i just.. well .liek his comment. thatsa it

*many years back. when i was working in at*... toy store,
this part timer is hte first who asked me.. will u marry me ' Lol.
yea. even beofre u knwo who. cos i met u know who after him.  i blogged abt this before.
sooo many yrs back
it was just.. before i met u know who.
ive been with u know for abt 6 years and 5months yea. (more than half a decade)
yea it was random. he the partimer suddnely ask me... will u marry me. and he said.. if down the road.. we are both single, (somehting like that) shall we get married in future.

yea. ikr. so weird.

and... why am i tlaking abt this? cos...

he just msg me in fb.
when are u getting married?

its pretty obvious. i replied him normally. but yea...

its weird how a person can still remember this after so long.,, i hava  strong feeling he rememebrs.
even if he dont doestn matter.

do u htin i will faint during xmas time/ cos... i dunno. i feel lik.e... im pushing myself harder than i thougt..

jaa mata