unhappy just yet

whoa... no time to blog. nothing much anyway. just that....

the other day.. gosh. that guy who asked me out for lucnh is back in my store. i was about to head outta store for toilet.. .luckily i haven take off my apron. if not later he also head out how?
anyway, good thing i acted fast.. i pretend to speak with staff in the backroom.... then asked her to notify me only whne he's gone. geez.. scary .
what is he doing here agaiN?
ive rejected him.. its like.. .its either he's one of those courageous guy, or he's  a crazy man .
i bet he's not from sg due to his accent. if sg guy, if he's not insance, he would've given up alrdy right?
anwyay i dunno.
even my colleague told me that he seems weird. like.. again like the other time, jsut took a pen and casually asked wahst the price when she approached him. =./=
so weird...
but yea. htat freaked me otut man

sianz. isnt that feelign so frustaring.g like. .u slpt late, then ur partner slp early.. when u nnid to slp early, ur partner slp late. =.=
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
what to do.
im trying hard to ignore it.
so irritating.
almost 4am now. by the time im done with this blog, its gonna be 4 plus....
long sory

sighs.. so... it so actually. .for me to do the visa thing.. if im working overseas. but

... too many diff typoes... i dunno which oen to cliuc k on=(
sianz. the momnent i jsut clicked on the website , the vidas... clicked on the diff types of visas...., i kne wit. thats it .i cant do this. i nid info from my sm or rgm. maybe they can hgelp me out.

the thought of quitting here and ging there seems frightening.. however.... yea.. i nid to make sacrifices.. nothing is free. nothign is easy in life. cept fo rthose rich ppl. so yup

mm.. dunno na.
=/
like i'd said.. as much as i'd wanted to go there and do my best.. etc. but..
money and visa will be the biggest issue.. parents still can u know. .maybe talk them through.. but... yea. thos ehigns i cant contorl pretyt much.
if rrly this time cannot make it, guess ill have to awit for naother time

so tired sometimes

recently i had this feelign again.. i dunno hwat im doing in ligfe.. i dunno what i want.. i know i wanna be next to him but when im not, i rrly dunno what to do here.
so yea.. i am not happy still
sadly to sa huh=/
yea.
sighs

just dunno what im doing.. wha ti want.. whats tehre fo rme to happy about . sure. htere'll be certain positive things and all.. but
sadly, i cant force myself to think this way
like all the tie ya know.
it hits me hard on days i work till tired slpy and sianz
liek. .i dunno hwat am i doing here anywmopre
why am i here. .what am i supposed to do here..
whats my life purpose?????????????
i have no idea
=/
sighs

sometime sjus tso sick and tired of evertying
this work trip thigny isx a new fresh start fo rme i think.
will be great if i can go.. but yea.. liek i'd said. .im not sure if money and visa will work oiut fine fo rme anot
sm asked me enquiry if hey hav fulltiemasm there.. even if  its far.. dunno ba

i need some changes.. cant take this anymore.. like a prison of my own.. i need soemthing else to get me out of this situation = / so sick and tired......
sighs

oh yea. read this news abou t this 17yrs old girl. helped a pregnant lady. only to get herself abused rape and killed. wth right.
but if u se eany pregnant lady, even if shes acting, it'll be hard to even think that way isnt it.
its like.. most kind ppl will jsut help the lady.. but yea .. true. she shouldneve drink tat drugged drink.. however, skali the husband force himslef on her also possible mah

so yea.
sometimes when help ppl also must be careful. but so sianz isn it. each ime u try to help ppl.. u will think ... is she fake. i shouldnt do htis.. etc......
its either cruel to others, or cruel to urself. yea. u may be cruel to others, but who knwos. u might save urse life.
if u kiind to others, yea. u might just end up like that girl .
even me ne.. if htin kback.. i will do the same thing. just that i might not drink tht drink. but like id said. who knwos. skali kena pulled into the house by her husband,,, then yea. die lor.

haiz. humans huh.. and ur own fate...
thats why pl say.. life isdifficult.

..no wonder pl will take their own life
..
cant blame them.. maybe sometiems no one is there to care for them enoghh..

sianz.after wakey must read finish my book asap =.;=
yea. .not been reading fast enough ha.

so slpy not.. finally.
just now was so tired till wnna yawan, also yawn halfway only .. caoulndt yanw full way

so tired and slpy ne. 730 am work..

anyway. yup. officially 4am now. by the time i hit the sack, online fom my phone etc... should be either 5am or 4 plus ba

blog so long huh..

gues sive not been feeling happy ba
hopefully will change for the better..
sigsh

jaa mata