very sad day

a very bad day for me indeed..

sick to the stomach. .threw up twice.
cried.
feeling terrible right now

hold back my tear for as long as i can.. doing hte same as i can.. smile .. serve customers.. talk.. stay strong i tell myself  at least till after work.

blah3.. the colleague i thought of being really good at working, .. had some misunderstanding of things about me and ppl..
it shocked me. besides rgm and sm shocked me, this colleguae did too.

the thngs i did. .the effort i put in.. im sincere.. im true.. i dont pretend.. im not even being fake.. etc..
but yet..
thigns happened

im scared .. by humans. its like .can u imagine doing notthing wonrg, or doing the best u can.. for hte best or ppl u should.
then out of nowhere, ppl tell u.. oh you're actially making them feel bad.. etc

its like.. what?

i thought of like ..say.. sammy suddenly telling me one day oh i dont love him enough.
its liek that bamg. get it?
like. what? u love that person so much, spend ur every sec, and tiem making an effort to love a perosn, thinking of him all the time.. etc..... then all those for a line of  oh u dont love me enough?

get what im trying to say?
its liek. relaly a big shock.
all thsoe efforts.. love , time that u spend on. .making sure he's being llove.. then end up he gave u aline of oh i hate u , cos u don love me,
how absurd is that?

thats just the exp btw. but thats what im trying to say about this colleague of mine
disappointment ..

and my sm and rgm.. htigns that they said.. i thought of asking hem on the spot.
why they say and teach differently . say a then b now.
but i was too shcoked to handlde everyhitng. i couldnt say it all
'
gosh stomach growling now cos threw up all my dinner =/ o well.
wanna eat bu t later right awy slpo liao. unhealthy. haiz... hungry =(

anyway yea.. .

of all feelign, this is one of the worst oen .. being misunderstood.. especiallly after youve put in so much effort.
making it work.

kinda like.. .how when i first met sammsy family huh...
i was still very shy back then though..

anyway forget it .gonnam ake me more sad only

if canot take it i'd better eat soemhting. rrly too hungry. huu =( ... nah better not. later must slp right away. not healthy. plus brush teeth again. gosh. k. gonna tahan. gosg, extemrely hungry =(((((((9

so yea. still vey upset.. things they said.. balh3. .im rying to digest it all before i know whats going on

after work.. no msg form sammy. gues she's slping still ro soemtheing
though yea. .would rather be him.. but better than no one, at least one of my fren asked me for me day i think .cant rememebr , .at elast can let out abit first.

im not able to speak out the details here nor msg sammy unless im talking to him ya know.
cos its long and detaill... and imma be cryign for sure .
so yea its difficult.

still sad .but i gotta work on.

will i be putting up another strong fdace tmr? i dunno. most  likely. ... k. will do my best.. see how.
im so tired liao...
tmr when free nid to fin out mreo abiot hte aussie hting vida i mean

jaa mata