sick again!!

i am sick again. sneezing, runny nose, i drank tonsssssssss of water!!! still craving for more water. but at least throat lessen the soreness... i guess.

haiz........ its terrible. i hate getting sick. i'd better be well by the time im outta sg

its terrible. maybe not enough rest ba. dunno
but yea. .so sick.. med not working =/ sianz

tmr working. .not sure if i can pull the day off. somemore new mystery shop will start again
how sia if tmr i cant perform well =/

mm.. ya. gonna try slp early.

quite a boring day u know

sianz

sick and bored and..  o well=/

mata

lack of proper slp!

whoa... i slept soooo little hours within these few days due to work. each time slpt like 4, ,5 ,5 hoursomg. no. i think 4 days liao. dunno. totally lost count. sooooooooooooo at my limit sleepyyyyyyyy and tired. more of slpey. my body and brain telling me i need slp and rest more than 24hrs. ha

omg... been caught up with work.. no choice but to work.

haiz. busy till nuts abt roster. seems liek whats been finally setttled, may have changes again =/ more work ba

anyway, ,,... yea. had my hair cut today. so nice!! v exp. almost wanted to quit. but yea. so well worth the money.  

u shld know. usually i hate haircuts. and its liek cant satisfied me. only shunji matsuo so far has been the best hair salon ever. last time, so long ago, i cut there. i was like .ok. nice cut. nice shape. thats why me decided to go there again. diff person. but wow. same . in fact, better. though not much changes, but my hair feels lighter and smoother, straighter now

so nince

wish i don have to wash forever. haha. let it remain like this. love my hair natural glow. and sine. rrly! 

kk. hope maybe tonight can rest soon. gosh slpy and tired.

oh yea somemore start at 7am today T_T had a longggg time spending time with 2 gfs, and after that met one previous partimer. nice to catch up for abit and chit chat. but yea. tired!!! 

mata!! 

what is it

im not sure what i enjoy doing anymore

sighs
=(

frustrated.
don know waht i wan. perhaps i do. but jsut that i cant reach it

oh yea. after such a longggggggggggg pain... .finally im glad to say.. i shld be fine liao.
though i still caxnt resist chilli.. ut yea.. shld be fine liao

gosh. 15 days to go... cant beluieve. . oh no. its 14 days to go. cos besically im flying off in middle of night
wow. so surreal.
i sure will miss sg weather

gosh drying hair. supposed to be slp by now

so much worries. neevr ending
wonder how am i gonna go easy on myself.

cannot ne. i think definitely i must keep track of work especially roster when im overseas.
but still hoping i'll get to enjoy ba

damn. giving myself too much stress or what. but i just want things to be perfect. if not get back home, also headache with the workload

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dunno ba. going crazy liao.
feel like shouting out loud

sighs

o well

mata

still sick

soooooooooo slpy n tired now. abit stomahc ache.

sorry no blog. been tired and so sick. =(
sighs

yea. been wakin g up early due to pain inmy gastric or sutin =/ right now i feel bettr abit. but yea. hpefully tonight can slp all the way through

so slpy.. stomach abit weird aagin

gosh eyes cant open soon.

mata ne

sorry short blog. still not well =(

In serious pain =(

i am just so sick and uncomfortable .think i had a slight fever when i just got home

though i knew i shouldve stayed home and rest, but i still didnt wannawaste a day when i couldve gone out with my parents. so.. yea .siad i was ok, and out i go... hell painful. 

=( and no docotr!!! ya. no doc o see today. grrrrr

and i was in much pain. queue alrdy then say no doc in today. wth

haiz

anwyay yea. was liek holding my bag strap tightly al lthe time.

i wasnt sure if it was pain or burn or what but yea. im pretty sure now its pain. ust not typical stomache im talking abt

gosh woke up at 5am to shit soooooo much

diarrhea. whole day

and yes. im sure the gurdian med is not working at all =/ 

sighs

so uncomfortbale

pain

whole stomach area.. intestine whatever u called it

im pretty sure i ate too full

haiz

rrly hate3 eat lunch late. then dinner must eat on full stomach. long story but

yea. every seconds is painful and discomfort for me=((((

i cant sit up straight now =/

sighs

maybe also stress huh

struggling to type too cos v pain

bro is taking forever to tlak!!! omg. dvd always must stop halfway. dunno who he takling to everynight

may i get well soon=(

sianz. htta tiem throat. now stomach. i hate spending money on doctor med

mata

not the usual stomach ache

ok. and now, my stomach is so bloated =(
still painful since tues night

sighs thats why hate to eat late,. then when dinthese two days gonna have long day ahead. rrly cant afford to ner is here, too full to eat..
dunno what happen. too full isit that night. then instestine burst ar?

but still burnign adn pain ful lstomach area. me don rrly get bad cramps like my colleagues . so was tlaking abt it. doesnt seem to be so ne. its still like a week or more before my next period. somemore its been hurting for long. plus its not that lower part cramp pain whihc i know hwo it feels like
so yea i think most likely shouldnt be menstral cramp
then what isit?
somehow after 2 panaldos and squatetd abit, i can talk and stand strighter plus tlak lounder and walk ard like.
was getting worse. till the point i cant stand up straight ned to hunch back cos using abs to stand straight get what i mean??
so yea. cant even talk much cos again, using stamina and then jsut couldnt rrly walk much either. nid to sit down.
can cry sia. so painful

gonna slp soon

busy these two days sia cos of AFF thingy going on.
not a bad thing but.. just worried abt my stomach

haiz

kk jaa mata =/

hopefully no nid see doctor=/ sian.z hate spendin gmoney at the docs. huuuuu

aching day =/

having a terrible3 stomach ache now. but its not those normal type u get. its more of like after going to poo few times, stil lhurts. its like instentines hurts. theres this pain lingering in there.
rrly uncomfortable and painful =( huuu after med still not cured.

gonna slp now. but bet i'll have some prob slping ba huu

=/

i rememebred i ate huge bowl or youmee. then full. then soon dinner. no choice. so yea thinking ok just eat. normal rice. then soon after, hurts. htink im too full or wat?
we all eat the same ne. somemore mum also v full as me cos of our lunch
but we had diff lunch
duno

cant blog liao. rrly painful=(( huuuuuu

mata

hoepfully by tmr is fine otherwise how sia

leaves over! june next!

ok so this happneed on tuesday. haha. yea i kept forgeting to blog .suddenly remembered.
anwyay thats theday i went mustafa i believe?
anyway, was on my way home. caught a glimpse of this ah beng looking chinese man.. liek abit tough looking ah beng type. .he was a staff or something. sitting down. using his phone. and yes i caught a glimpse of him playing phone. and it was candy crush. XD
erm. candy crush right thats the name?
but yea. its like. .i wa slike. .O.O.. o..k... even a man like him is playing this game. wow. so popular huh
very surprising..i would say. cos his face's like. .don look like the type who'll play a youngster game. maybe he's in his late 20s or 30s i dunno. but yea.
whats so gd abt this game eh O.o

anwyay
 recently was like happened to watch some korean videos by accident. anyway,
was like. .ha. .no offense. but like.. its just over and over again their perfomance of the girls. hip thrusting and all.. like. .u know. i know how the company wanted them to sell their sex appeal imagie or whatever u called it. but.. maybe guys wont get sick of looing at their mvs. but yea.
its just so.. argh.
i would rather prefer to watch u know who mv cos she don need to wear or dance liek them to look gorgeous.
wnot a whore type of dance ya know. with better voice. u shld know who im tying abt. ha
but yea.
hardly still is there a gd sounding voice out there nowads. its all abt dance.. and face. sex appeal .
oh man.
though of course songs stil lcatchy and all.. but yea. fo rme its not enough.
anwyay nvm ba not liek i ave any songs in m phone ha. cant imagine its been a year since i had any songs in my phone

mm... supposed to blog one more. .what ar. omg forgot. o well. bro jsut asked if i wanna watch dvd. but im suppsoed to slp now. huuu

o well. nvm tahan tmr ba

rgm was like alst min saying no one to take leave  3 days before stocktake. was like. but my colleague applied liao. then luckily for her, two days is her off. .so see how

kk gtg .
bro waiting.
btw wow3.... was like. huh. alrdy halfway through may! =X cheers=)

mata

powerful mindset

2 more days left for me.. o well
gonna cherish it

anyway, mm.. feeling better. alittle bit better .cos somehoe stil worried abt work time to time

still trying to shake of f that stress heaving feeling before i get back to work again

anyway, haha. ytd bought form daiso thsi usb charger fo rmy phone. omg it works!!! weeee hope tat wont harm my phone though cos its only 2 bucks. nonetheless, it does its job pretty good. so yea. =) rrly glad ne . ha. at a affordable price somemore

ydt watched this tv undercover boss. of the employee.. a coach assistant. working part timer or something whilst studying. something like that.. undercover bos then asked him how he keep up like that. working part timer and study plus bills. hisreply was somehting like.. its tough, but in the end, he will feel proud. feel proud that he goten through all this alone by himself, by his own hardship , by working hard, and striving till the end to achieve what he wanna achieve.
he's not old. maybe.. early 20s. ? i dunno. but he's a man. liek duh. assitant coach. maybe in uni or soemthing attending course i dunno. but its admiring i would say.

for anyone to think this positive way. its difficult. but its rue though. at the end of it all, u can held ur head up high, and feel so proud of urself for accomplishing this alone. cos u strived hard till the end. and guess what. u may tell ur future children and grand children this proud piece of story too =)

yea.. it may sound easy. but it rrly takes.. a strong will. to be so positive. to work so hard towards ur goal. even if it means getting a loan, working part timer, busy all day and night.

yea thast why i like my boss(company founder) working attitude when she was in her early 20s. she worked so hard too. day n night. save up . no nusiness experience. dunno english much cos she's not aussie. her partner is aussie. so she decided to move to aussie too cos hes there mah.
yea v courageous eh.
in the end she managed to convinced her partner sell his house to set up this company. wow. but yea she pay him all back liao. lol. now he's the ceo. so yea

soemtimes not just all this i guess... u nid luck too.
but. .a huamn's strong will and mindset is very very powerful.

right now, i think the stress and undertainty is takin gover me. i dont feel healthy in my mind right now.
so yea. trying to figure everythign out. and trying to get back a positive mindset.
its not too gd to stay unhealthy' for far too long. it will make a person crumble easily

but yea. just wanna say. his reply is so confident. and u can tell the way when he said it, he soundded real proud too. he's convince what he's doing is right and worth it.
he was telling the undercover boss soemthn glike.. ''....at the end of all these, knowing htat ive come this far, that is what makes it all worthwhile and i can look back and feel so proud of what i am capable of. of what ive done''.
ok he din say exactly lie that. but yea. its soemthing liek that. hey i cant remember every single word he said mah

so yea.
rrly admiring.
haiz

i  wonder what i want.
or what i need.
i knwo what are the aboves. but. not just one. what else do i need and waznt.
in life.
im stil las confused as ever.
and its not helping =/
these few days of offs.. stil ldidnt rrly help me getback on track huh
i dunno
perhaps i shouldnt think so much. im only making myself stress mroe

k. gtg

early day tmr

mata

no moving

ahh.. day passes so fast.. anyway

went out for a short 2 hrs pus or so.. (felt so long though)
bought some gd stuffs from daiso. yay. compared to ion, i think tampines daiso is much better and easier to shop .. neater i guess

been eating i guess. vos yea. u know at work usually i tried to save nowadays with not so nice food. ha. so yea.

eh. ha. sammy thoguht i exercise>?
wel even i if idid, its liek once a month skipped ofr an hourXD omg. pathetic. rrly. .just. dislike exercise. lol.
but i wanna do it. but its betetr to do it with someone else.
smoee im not living alone. difficult to do any exercise alone a t home mah. nah. not going down to run . v scary
or lazy lol

anyway
yea. glad im ok ba. at least not fat u know.
just still healthy in a way>
yea

mm... stil lin the process of relaxing. .and doing my best to chill myself out. online movie. . going out. .eat.. wahtever.. tmr maybe clean up more of room huh
see how
had a rrly weird vivd dream the other day. ytd?
l,ike.. my hand.. inside beneasth my skin.. is lkiek full of metals.. metallic dakr looking metals or something. and it sticks outta my hand. i pull it off. eewww) . then another came out .i pulled it off again... it sliek bneath my hand its made out of these wires.. or metasl.. yea. scary. eerie feeling.


mata

better future

have u ever thought of what u want and/or what u need?
mm

anyway so slpy now. so nice though the feeling of knowing next day wake up no work =)

but yea. .still abit bored. .not sure what to do or where to go

see how for tmr ba

2 dasy passed just like that. wow. how fast

heart pinchs whenever i heard sammy need to get into bed secretly before his parents catches hmi or somehting.
but yea. .
at his age he could've have more freedom now.
=/
o well. its only a matter of time i guess.
im sure better days will be ahead for him =)
cant wait to see him do watever he want without having to worry about yea.

gosh me myself so slpy.
guess imma online phone abit more in my bed then slp

mata

eyes closing!

not better?

wow what a tiring job to do cleaning. felt as though im working O.O

anyway that aside

.stil; not feelign good. early morning soemthing abt work.. roster thingy. rrly had to force myself do not bring work into home.
omg so hard

still stress.
i don feel good at all today. soem moments managed to convince thigns will be fine. but then the dark side hits.
totally sucks. but. yea. just kept myself busy is a good thing.
but so tired
hopefully the next few days will eb better bah

sighs

cant wait to feel better again.
mm..

mata

still stresses

just rrly dislike ppl hide thigns form me. argh dunno ba.
sianz ne. only puttin gmore stress onto myself

and i thought can relax abit like for todya. then money shortage . huge amount. tmr mrg i bet wil lhav phone call or email or somethng yet again =/
se ehow.
will try not to think though im sure the moment i open up my eyes is to seaarch for my email(work)

anyway,

cant wait to slp

got back home too lazy n tired to keep my stuffs. gues maybe tmr or wed ba. cos body still tired. haiz.
so yea
wil ltry to see what else i cna throw ba
can wait to use the newly bought storage cases for my new table

bad day it is today. sighs

mata

new table!

wow,

today had a great idea. since parents picked up a ok. pretty much very new desktop desk, i decided not to throw away the old one. im using the old one for my dress up table. then the newly picked up one shall use for my lappy. heh.

rrly cant wait to have a proper dressup table to do my makeup and all. cos yea. always need to stand and do my makeup. used to it. but of course wish for a better area and sunlight mah.
though its not brand new, but at least gd thing im ok with it la. not the rich brat type of girl ha. so yea. satisfied enough. of course wish one day can have my own decorated room curtains aircon and vanity mirror dressup table. ha. see how in future eh


anyway, i nid to clear alot of things. haiz.. if only all my bro stuffs clothes can be cleared too =/
then sure have more room .... ..o well
perhaps one dya when im on my own ba

anwyay
saw this awesome leather chair. usuall price 99.90 now 49,.90. too heavy. must take cab.
rrly3 wanna buy.. but.. yea..... ...mm.. o welll. nvm ba... if meant to be. .perhaps few motsh later stil lcna get=/
not that parents can get fo rme

erm yea. so thats about it. today feeling better abit. though still lots on my mind. .worries and more worries. .but luckily theres the dressing table fo rme to ponder over with so yea

haiz=/

rrly hope these 5 days will be a peaceful one.. nothign wrong with store. .and everything will be ok when i get back.
most importantly, i nid this great well rested leave to rest my tired over worked body soul and mind=/

sighs
wow just learned that sm kena scolded by vm head when she couldnt find a signage
just hear only la. maybe sm find it paiseh to tel lme
wow vm head rrly ..very strict and.. .wow. she dare to raise her voice and instruct my rgm u know. but shes very nice to me when i worked with her for two days.
doign vm.
she's nice. i couldnt find one of the thing, and she didnt scold. phewwwwwwwwww
omg
but well think i blog before liao la
but yea. after hearing that reminded me of how i actually can disagree with her. lol. not disagree. but point out the bad thing that she overlooked. i jst gave her my ernest opnion
when she was back , i met her ocs doing stocktake. then when i was going off, she say to our gm (another scary strict one) and me 'we made a great team didnt we? :) '' i was like. .aww... and yea. .like. .wow what an honour. =)
but nvr know. .. when their faces will change one day. jsut keep praying i am not around when they're here

haiz. so tired of this evryday life.
last year june. yea. thats exactly how i felt back then. til my colleague suggested that i forced myself to o out though im tired on my off.
but yea.. .sighs. this time round is more of stress ba. cos im liek the main support. and the person 2nd incharge helping me stil lraw at certain thigns. o well.. =/

if i wan, i couldve quit during xmas period. then maybe they'll know how to cherish ppl. my fren did soemthign liek that though not xma.s he quit right after cny.
btu yea. same thing ba. like. .
haiz.
dunno la.

so tired

mata

no proper meal

quick blog before i go slp

today back to the sianz mood fo working=/ haiz
i can feel the stress piling u[ on me
rrly stressful. cant wait for leave. hpefully tmr after send roster, will be alright

mm... what else'

oh yea. sianz... had my one and only proper meal at 6 24pm. =/.= work lor. waht else
 workaholic now eh=/
sighs
so frustrated whenever i cant get to eat on time or too hungry u know. though not rrly hungry. but more of like perplex nad weak ba
luckily had chicken essence n cereal bar before i start my shift
though abit but better than nothing

kk. rrly no energy, rch home, only talked two lines. then quiet al lthe way. gonna slp now

guess rrly just.. nothign to talk about to my family ba. too tired perhaps
 i dunno. i cant smile either. not gonna force myself to either ba

mata

better day?

was so sianz getting back to work. but then thigns picked up.. and yea. its weird to say. but.. i definitely had a better time working than ytd at home so stress out and depress dunno for what haiz

yea. sorry for hte blabber and weird post ytd. i dun even wanna look back actually haha.
but yea im feeling better now..
though still a little yea.
mm.. dunno ba. maybe soemthigns just not right with me ytd. i dunno.
just so wrong.
like everything piour out into the blog ytd eh ha. so many negative stuffs omg

kk soooo oslpy now. wanna slp alrdy

i'll be fine soon so ya. fcant wait for my june holiday. though worried if my may leave gonna get blabber at anot=(

\anwyay sorry for ytd. haiz. o well..

mata