27 September 2014

creepy :(

Typing from myvphone. Gish so scary at vivo outlet got ghost puc they took at night closing:( my fren send me but i deleted it . Crap tat image in myvhead now. Furthermore, i recalled things i said n my sm was there too. We visit our fren. Anyway. She say me n my creepy things i said (in a jk way) cos i was puxzled why i check n help my fren clean atore then when leaving,this big jecklace is there at the wrong place.i checked many times ne. I was jkingly wooo...say sumtin la. Hence my sm say tat. So ya now tat i tor of it,xreepy

N fren say another colleagur saw shadows sittjng in bsckroom... they yold rgm n rgm cried.say wat=_= . I cant imagine a person like rgm will cry eow

Today weather so hot!!:/ when bored i snapchat. Though i dun think the video is showing the bright hot weather. I even video the ither when dryjnv my hair ha.
Kk gtg slp tome hp rrly gard to type
May i forget tst vcrerpy photo n slp huuu":/wish hes here

Mata

26 September 2014

missing memories

was looking through my old lon gtime pics... those swt  comments by him.. i dont think will come back again...
ppl changed


so many troublesomes customers today..

 so hungry

randone lines cos.. yea

supposed to be getting new lappy tmr.. but.. im so not sure. will dl be fine as it is.. i wonder

 so hungry. not yet had my dinner

ive been thining.. its time to go now..
..im tired. so tired. i think its the time to end..
whatveer that need s to.. change
o r something
sohungry

inid to cry. but i cant . and i hold onto it. is that the reason why i breakdown

oh another malay teammemebr kena fired. its a sm.
manager yup

couldve been due to t a big prize to be won. befor ei join, also had the casd eof 2 malay gilrs  cheating to win a trip.. of lots of money ... tickets to la or something
o well. stupoid ppl. wanna cheat... throw away their life and money only. salary i mean

this sm (today kena fired) .. also gto considered as beig rgm next u know. heard from my sm.
o well tobad
for dunno what reasons, they throw away their future. abakas.

mata

24 September 2014

breakdown

Typing from phone. Too tired. Pardon my spellibgs. Ahh no wonder no one view. Cos it was in a draft! Anuway i postdd it ...though somehow id alrdy posted. Anyway. Shld hav two zame posts. Spellibgs gonna sucjs. Not gd with hp typing

Today dunno why. Begore i step knto workplace. I was teary. Like rrly gonna cry it all out. Then i did. So paiseh soghs. But i couldnt control my emtion. I wanted to cry oug loud. Its like alls thats been holdjng me back,.. just forces me to beeakdown. A nervous mental breakdown. Sm ask me go youket washup. I did. Then forces myself to work again. Still gotta work wat to do. Tears shld only meant for behinclose doors. Anyway. Yea. Haiz. Din know ive been bottling up for so long. Since july..ans. yea. I cant take it anymore. But i have to. I must.

cant believe this sat im getting new lappy. Tot next week. O well.
Mm.. tats it ba.

Hope ill tc.
wish me luck

oh . Just fouiund out.another one ofy school just got married. Hiw nuce eh. .one by one get narried liao.. .. nvm. Forget it. O well. Wish them all the best bah.though not clise at all.

mata


23 September 2014

heartfelt words tonight

listening to my boa's album now.. .though i do feel bad for not purchasing her album.. dunno how or where he get this link... anyway...
did i mention abt her album? most of her songs i rrly liek them alot. best album ever.
maybe just one song its like okok. but . actually all her songs are superb. i rrly enjoy them =)

been obsessed with slping lately. as i'd said in my previous blog. ..(i did right) .. thought wanna slp early. but bro will be back abit late so yay. freedom on my own whilst my parents are aslp
so yup. owning the space for my own..just for abit. better than none.
it feels great to slp away with all probs in this world.. .

anyway. best to type blog whilst listening to boa's album.
lappy off alrdy. but.. i still feel soemthing aint right. so i nid to get it off my chest. somehow.

actually after last night's blog, i rrly did felt better . O.o like. huge part of my stress are gone. its amazing.
yea ive been having some tough days. didnt help either due ot time of month coming. and its here so yea=.=
anyway. o well.

mm.. somethings aint right though. i've lost interest in alot of things. i didnt even care abt doing lil thigns i used to.

just realized. .was listening to boa's song right.. in amidst of it, i realized i understand what she's singing about. even though its jap. and its a good feeling ne. its diff. its like. u listen, and then your brain is translating the line fo ru.. and it just appeared in my head. its interesting =)
cos i know what shes singing. yea. nice.  nice feelig

ahh. watched liam neeson movie todya.
abit reminded me of taken.. the way he talk.. and the movie. .erm.. yet well, its still gd.
jsut pretty smiliar abit here n there with the movie taken

but yea. heard taken 3 is coming. woo hoo how cool is that=)
and .. ok back to this movie.
scary ne ,.if u actually think abt it. anytime ppl can stop their van at ur doorstop adn take u in.
kidnap u.
no wonder that case in melbourne also kena van =.=
yea thats how easy to kidnap a woman=.= gosh. even in carpark. .guess thats even worse.
v svcary ne

oh. he told me before. first thing is to get into the car and close door,.
now i know why. he was like rrly adamant . number one rule.
ha
yea. .thats what he said. .

anyway,
kidnappers are sick. argh .
though thats just a movie. but.. .gosh.
so yea. it shows how easily u can be a target for ppl like them.
luckily here so far pretty safe .unlike in overseas.
even if i have to get through the night alone  walking after work, though scared, but .. .chances are lower
its not safe. but its lower.
so yea..
erm.. i know. not a gd thing .
but at leas ti dun have to bring ard a perpper spray with me everywhere i go
liek in australia. ha. my rgm did. not just her,. alot of aussie women does that.

reminded me of the nice time i had at my ceo million dollar yacht
so nice. he's so nice too. though old yet he has this charm to himself. v v nice  man,
and when he cam eto store visit at p.p, wow. its my honour to see him again =) haha .stil lfeel so honoured to get his compliment personally. =) like yea. wow.
ceo ne.
though sammy didnt liek that in pic his hand was near my butt.
when i told him he didnt rrly care. then he saw the pic and called him waht.. i forgot. somehting relating to old geezer?
XD erm .. i think so. gosh

anyway. yup. its true. sg biggest yacht goes to him.
but.. for me. its okok bah. like. im not into this kinda thing.
though i like it alot. but lets be  real. whole life lusting over this kind of life, its not real =.= it may be, but cmon. what are the chances. so
yup. im ok wihtout those thigns.

saw this aussie blogger ... btw, hte more i watch, the more i liek their accent. though i don rrly liek listening to it from rgm. cos she says impt things and her accent somehow, v thick n abit diff form normal aussie. ok abck to blogger.
not blogger soory .youtuber =.=
caught a glimspe of her apartment. think her outside theres like... green field.. erm.. i duno . abit liek that. not like our hdb kind. so yea.
and her apartment, its small. its like. literally, grey carpet ,and her bedroom, its only a few steps to her living room! =)its rrly small .like how its all connected. i was like . huhO.o it looks like big and spacious. bt actually its all connected.
perhasp jus tlike my home. but somehow their outside ' is more spacious ? with the greens?

reminded me of the smaller version. the hotel .
i blogged abt remember>?
its so small. literally one room size. yet theres enuff room for basic, seprate toilet, shower room, desk chair (where i can use as kitchen table)
if have portable stove, i can even cook!
ha. just got distracted by boa's only one song. htat time i learnt. then forogt liao .gotta learn again. cos the karaoke only have her latest song. few of her old songs. haiz. =.= but theres shadows and only one. i was like .dang! wish i rememebr the lyrics.

anyway. sorry
back to hotel .yea. who nids sofa when i have a tv in front of my bed. somemore the bed is jap style liek thick v thick mattress type.. .so hard to describe. but theres. like. ..wood floor.. can sit.. on the ledge.. .erm .yea.
gomen. ha.
anyway, that hotel rrly gib me soem great ideas. if ever one day in future i have my own small place, this is gonna be great.  i dun nid a big basin. don nid a huge closet. .well.... erm. can also get drawers haha.
and yea.
its pretty gd.

ah.. noather nice song. i shld learn!
boa. kk. next tiem can sing.

erm. yea.

was like. how nice if u can live with the one u love. or even alone. . just so simple and.. yea.

so iwas saying ..i wasnt beig myself.. and losign all interest... .and. .i was just bringign up the self of my hardworking cheery side to the work ./when it edned, or before it start, ... its diff story.
and.. i think .. ..nah ..no... i dun .. i don understand..

i nid a gd holiday man =./

but.. perhasp another 5 or 6 more months.. .. sighs. will i go crazy by then?
if i know this stupid policy, i wouldve apply more leaves=(
sighs

its hard to stay sane ya know...
sane. not same.

how great if club hav the song of shout it out.. sure dance so happily

ha.
anyway. yup.

the life of .. using diff personailities.

im rrly thinking of  perming my hair . like soft wave curls. since ivce always liek it. and ppln do compliment it often when i curled my hair. mm. ..sitll deciding.. .but probably ne
wat do u htink

small house. ncie and compact. even fit for extra doggie.. what mroe can u ask for..

now the most serious par tof my blog...
oh. jsut to mention... one of my fren i used ot be close with, i threw him outta my life. even when he wanna come back, i wouldnt budge. some  ppl.. .they just aint worth the time in ur life. once hurt, get out. wont relent.
nah. not redz. but yup. redz is part of those group. not without a gd reason. some ppl. they made terrible mistakes to u. and yup. i wont ever let them in ...ever again. no 2nd chance.
am i cruel? .... sighs .dunno bah. but .. .thats just how it is. .who wanna risk getting hurt twice...
thast why they are out of my life forever. even though memoriers were gd.. but. ..nah .they didnt cherish our frenship. so why shld i.
once over its over. theres no way im having them back into my life.
cruel as it may sounds, but. .thats just me.
this side of me.
once its over. its over.
i dun wanna get hurt again
and u know how badly i can get hurt easily.. =( ..
..

i rrly feel like telling my sm... i nid someone to talk to.. cos i think im breaking down anytime soon. cant take it anymore... inow im only talking' to my blog the most. ha. silly eh

wah. zero views for my last night blog ne. ha. i wonder why

jaa mata







you'll know if someones impt to u at the end
but whens the end?
will it be too late



22 September 2014

stressful night/ him/ aint a lady(nor a woman)

oops. no la. not left with 3 pills. but anyway. something abt it makes me go back to taking it. and .. duno what happened. last night i took it before bed.
after abt.. .12 hrs later? i had a headache. so i took the red box panaldo. then soon after, less than an hr) , my left eye .. under eye. got this lil bumps like itchy. exactly how its like when you've got stung by mosquitoe. but it isnt the case i know

that time when i took delmonte(i htink thast the name) green box one. same thing happened. think also my eye .oh eye lid i think.
but anyway. dunno coul it be panaldo and the supplement crashes together? but its abt 12hrs since i took that supplement ne .before panaldo. o well. dunno ba. then 2hrs later , a new bump appeared near my under lash. so uncomfy like a pebble there. =.= gosh. o well. then soon, hrs later ok alrdy. now still can see swollen la.. but not so so bad.

mm.. rrly cannot anyhow take pills.. but...  its not drugs mah. o well. watever bah .
think next time imma try another brand. dunno why i haven throw that bottle.shouldve done so earlier. =.= left with.. dunno .10 pills or so?

was asking my fren who studied in syd before abt aprils weather. sicne sammy nvr reply to my msg, so yea. figured tat i  still cant msg him so.. o well. ask my fren instead. cos was thinkign of getting the uniqlo fluffy jacket. so was asking her if i needed a thick one like for winter. she just say its colder but not as cold as winter. o man. how ne. feel like buying. mm... thought of leather jacket. .but.. .. the fluffy one is so fluffy(i can die) XD, and its rollable. so its travel frenly

se ehow ba. not cheap ne

did i mentioned?
i can dance without drinking. O.o
like. yea. with frens who go ahead and dance, its ok bah. like. .yea.
as in. a coupek of drinks wont get so high. so yea. and i still cna dance .just not that crazy la .but haha. yea. XD

oh. outside club, theres two women. erm young women ba
frens i guess? think they're high alrdy. ater drinkign too much perhaps?
one of them sat down with her leg across (roughly cho lor type) , and touching her heels blabbering complaining abt something loudly ==. her fren sat next to her said something. blah2..
then the rough lady, (im guessing shes complaining her heels very pain?? dunno )
started walking .. omg. so hideous. sorry to say that. but .. omg. imagine she's wearing a dreass. tube dress. clubbing dress. and heels . u know.
the image sounds nice, but omg. the way she walk,,.... not a woman =.= at all. i was dumb founded. my jaws dropped on the spot. (her fren then walk and catches up with her. her fren more sober bah) .
i was like.. how can a woman . a lady act like this way>?
O.O
any man wouldve put off by that. wow
shocking. rrly .shocking .
she was whining and arms swing and legs walking like a man... very very rough and chor lor.
omg. like.. .her image is so diff from how she acted.
i wa slike. no lady should ever act like that.
soemmore.. dunno bah. seems like shes' still half sober.
its not the drunk till insober kind.
is drunkbutstill u know who u are kind. but u let down ur guards cos u cant pretend to be a nice looking girl ..type. so yea. if shes v dead drunk can sorta understand. .but yea..... wow. i wasrrly shocked that night. that... is a good example of how u cant judge a book by its cover. bebeath that dress and makeup, and heels, that image.. .is this true person... u will never call her. . a woman. nor much less a lady... .

its a rare chance for me to go club.
but don think i will anytime soon., i rarely go anyway. in fact. my first since so many years. wow O.o
o well .
glad im still able to dance ha.
its great to have protective frens ard.
but sianz when u get to see repetitions of the same guys ard=.= trying their luck to get into the'circle' . gosh. facepalms. wont they give up =.=

oneo fmy fren. first time there. remindede me of my first also. my colleagues brought me there. ha. i was so innocent and dunn owhat to do. then 2nd time club. .was with sammy then.. and yea.

forgot my dream. .but dreamt of him again... and. .it wasnt a nice one.. o well .good htign then. that i forgot. but the other bad dream i remember.

nowadays inm back into slpign again. to heck with bugs. but yea cos now no prob .. i think .
anyway . yea. slp. slp away all troubles and stress. i rrly like to slp for a long time. i look forward to closing my eyes and shut down my mind.
shut it down all away...
peacefulness....
so yea. rrly like slp alot. mainly its becos i get to shut my mind down.
cept for nightmares.

oh. did i mention? i had a v bad dream last week. i think .last week bah.
oh yea think idid blog it down.
haiz.
at least stil lhave him to msg then. o wlel

wait.somehting slipped my mind.. i was supposed to say somehin .g.
oh yea! phew luckily i rcalled=.=
recalled.

sorry lazy to backspace n all  to change spellings

anyway.

was like so stressed out that.. in middle of night, (bro gone to bed early abit) .. .i cried my heart out .liek rrly cried v painfully and v badly =(
so afraid parents will come outta the door.
sometimes they do.
dunn oif they can hear anot. by the itme i slp, it was 3am.
so yea... see... so sad eh. i wanna cry, also cannot cry freely. still gotta control my tone. cannot cry out truly and loud. cos if i do, sure they can hear. i was trying to tone down... yet crying.... tears streaming down my face...
i would love to cry out loudly and released all the stress... but.. i couldnt.. cos.. i dun wan tothers to worry.. .adn. .cos.. im not living on my own..
sighs

thats oen of the reason why i wanna live alone .craved out on my on. cos only then am i able to ... be myself. enjoy the freedom...

when i don feel like eating so much, i can cook my own small meals..etc... instead of feelign obliged to  company parents and eat heaps... cos.. if i don i feel guilty..

anyway. haiz. htats abt it ba

talk next timem

oh.. and. .ive been feeling. .. like given up. i dunno.
i .. cant seem to care abt mysself more than last time.. .etc. ..but im always great at caring abt other ppls even my colleagues .
only at work amm i alive. or trying to be. no one can tell.
i.. jsut dunno where to find my motivations again... or do i hva one to begin with. .

i find heaps of excuses not to run. .etc.. its worse than before.
..am i too tired alrdy. i dunno. but.. yea.. perhaps.. .being a celebrity dog is better than  a human .
aint that ncie eh .

k bah. thats abt it. thanks for reading.. .

oh. rgm coming back tmr=( gonna be double the stress... haiz. o well. wish our team luck.
haiz.. mroe stress coming..

oh. i did ask myself again. to work with stress and get mroe pay and be not so happy,
or get lesser pay and be relax and abit maybe happier?
many pros will say go for happiness..  money doesnt matter.
we all know the answer to that. ..tis just a matter of... .will u choose that....
lesser pay..with more happiness?...
relaxation.. .with ur lov eones.. .
or.. .yea..

i.. wonder hows future is gonn abe with him..so ncie...  .then.. i wonder.. how will it begin..

6 yrs and a half plus.. it holds dearly in my heart.. .but.. i wonder if he does..

my frens asked me. .why i dun wanna open my hearts up to other guys. waht. to someone like that guy? 'give me back. give me back my heart;''XD lol.
jk. but yea.. .once youve given your heart to someone,....... u know how it goes..

oh. i was like. .ong story. but i was liek usin gmy jap tone and saying the jap.. thank u.. ..welcome.. .my collegaue was like.. omg .  hahha so cute XD
lol. thast how they sound mah. if i rrly wan, i can rrly do it. o well. too bad im not a pro of jap language. haha. but im still .. yea. v much liking it

oh.. prior to the part wher i talked abt the unlady like woman ,
i think.. a true woman... mm... difficult to say.. she can be sexy on her own.. doig her own thang. .. without tyring too hard. demure at the same time. .kind.. . and giving...  mm.. hard to say all bah. bt yea. u get the drift. and.. .i rrly wish that i can strive  to be like that. the perfect and wonderful woman i cna be.
wonderful, demure, yet naughty and kind and sexy and angel and devil like. i think i am. but thats not up for me to judeg.eso yea.
but im pretty glad with who i am fo rnow.. .

oh. uknow. i todl my colleague the other day. we're laughign at my another colleague cute actions. when she's in a hurry. and. .i was like. .ey u know waht. htats like the happiest laugh ive ever had in a long time. .i dun even know whens the last time i ahd such a gd laugh. ..  besides the trip in syd. .then she's like. .yea.. thats becos youve been sad for so long..

o well. .

k bah. rrly for now. jaa

looking forward to neil liams on movie.


mata


stressful night/ him/ aint a lady(nor a woman)

oops. no la. not left with 3 pills. but anyway. something abt it makes me go back to taking it. and .. duno what happened. last night i took it before bed.
after abt.. .12 hrs later? i had a headache. so i took the red box panaldo. then soon after, less than an hr) , my left eye .. under eye. got this lil bumps like itchy. exactly how its like when you've got stung by mosquitoe. but it isnt the case i know

that time when i took delmonte(i htink thast the name) green box one. same thing happened. think also my eye .oh eye lid i think.
but anyway. dunno coul it be panaldo and the supplement crashes together? but its abt 12hrs since i took that supplement ne .before panaldo. o well. dunno ba. then 2hrs later , a new bump appeared near my under lash. so uncomfy like a pebble there. =.= gosh. o well. then soon, hrs later ok alrdy. now still can see swollen la.. but not so so bad.

mm.. rrly cannot anyhow take pills.. but...  its not drugs mah. o well. watever bah .
think next time imma try another brand. dunno why i haven throw that bottle.shouldve done so earlier. =.= left with.. dunno .10 pills or so?

was asking my fren who studied in syd before abt aprils weather. sicne sammy nvr reply to my msg, so yea. figured tat i  still cant msg him so.. o well. ask my fren instead. cos was thinkign of getting the uniqlo fluffy jacket. so was asking her if i needed a thick one like for winter. she just say its colder but not as cold as winter. o man. how ne. feel like buying. mm... thought of leather jacket. .but.. .. the fluffy one is so fluffy(i can die) XD, and its rollable. so its travel frenly

se ehow ba. not cheap ne

did i mentioned?
i can dance without drinking. O.o
like. yea. with frens who go ahead and dance, its ok bah. like. .yea.
as in. a coupek of drinks wont get so high. so yea. and i still cna dance .just not that crazy la .but haha. yea. XD

oh. outside club, theres two women. erm young women ba
frens i guess? think they're high alrdy. ater drinkign too much perhaps?
one of them sat down with her leg across (roughly cho lor type) , and touching her heels blabbering complaining abt something loudly ==. her fren sat next to her said something. blah2..
then the rough lady, (im guessing shes complaining her heels very pain?? dunno )
started walking .. omg. so hideous. sorry to say that. but .. omg. imagine she's wearing a dreass. tube dress. clubbing dress. and heels . u know.
the image sounds nice, but omg. the way she walk,,.... not a woman =.= at all. i was dumb founded. my jaws dropped on the spot. (her fren then walk and catches up with her. her fren more sober bah) .
i was like.. how can a woman . a lady act like this way>?
O.O
any man wouldve put off by that. wow
shocking. rrly .shocking .
she was whining and arms swing and legs walking like a man... very very rough and chor lor.
omg. like.. .her image is so diff from how she acted.
i wa slike. no lady should ever act like that.
soemmore.. dunno bah. seems like shes' still half sober.
its not the drunk till insober kind.
is drunkbutstill u know who u are kind. but u let down ur guards cos u cant pretend to be a nice looking girl ..type. so yea. if shes v dead drunk can sorta understand. .but yea..... wow. i wasrrly shocked that night. that... is a good example of how u cant judge a book by its cover. bebeath that dress and makeup, and heels, that image.. .is this true person... u will never call her. . a woman. nor much less a lady... .

its a rare chance for me to go club.
but don think i will anytime soon., i rarely go anyway. in fact. my first since so many years. wow O.o
o well .
glad im still able to dance ha.
its great to have protective frens ard.
but sianz when u get to see repetitions of the same guys ard=.= trying their luck to get into the'circle' . gosh. facepalms. wont they give up =.=

oneo fmy fren. first time there. remindede me of my first also. my colleagues brought me there. ha. i was so innocent and dunn owhat to do. then 2nd time club. .was with sammy then.. and yea.

forgot my dream. .but dreamt of him again... and. .it wasnt a nice one.. o well .good htign then. that i forgot. but the other bad dream i remember.

nowadays inm back into slpign again. to heck with bugs. but yea cos now no prob .. i think .
anyway . yea. slp. slp away all troubles and stress. i rrly like to slp for a long time. i look forward to closing my eyes and shut down my mind.
shut it down all away...
peacefulness....
so yea. rrly like slp alot. mainly its becos i get to shut my mind down.
cept for nightmares.

oh. did i mention? i had a v bad dream last week. i think .last week bah.
oh yea think idid blog it down.
haiz.
at least stil lhave him to msg then. o wlel

wait.somehting slipped my mind.. i was supposed to say somehin .g.
oh yea! phew luckily i rcalled=.=
recalled.

sorry lazy to backspace n all  to change spellings

anyway.

was like so stressed out that.. in middle of night, (bro gone to bed early abit) .. .i cried my heart out .liek rrly cried v painfully and v badly =(
so afraid parents will come outta the door.
sometimes they do.
dunn oif they can hear anot. by the itme i slp, it was 3am.
so yea... see... so sad eh. i wanna cry, also cannot cry freely. still gotta control my tone. cannot cry out truly and loud. cos if i do, sure they can hear. i was trying to tone down... yet crying.... tears streaming down my face...
i would love to cry out loudly and released all the stress... but.. i couldnt.. cos.. i dun wan tothers to worry.. .adn. .cos.. im not living on my own..
sighs

thats oen of the reason why i wanna live alone .craved out on my on. cos only then am i able to ... be myself. enjoy the freedom...

when i don feel like eating so much, i can cook my own small meals..etc... instead of feelign obliged to  company parents and eat heaps... cos.. if i don i feel guilty..

anyway. haiz. htats abt it ba

talk next timem

oh.. and. .ive been feeling. .. like given up. i dunno.
i .. cant seem to care abt mysself more than last time.. .etc. ..but im always great at caring abt other ppls even my colleagues .
only at work amm i alive. or trying to be. no one can tell.
i.. jsut dunno where to find my motivations again... or do i hva one to begin with. .

i find heaps of excuses not to run. .etc.. its worse than before.
..am i too tired alrdy. i dunno. but.. yea.. perhaps.. .being a celebrity dog is better than  a human .
aint that ncie eh .

k bah. thats abt it. thanks for reading.. .

oh. rgm coming back tmr=( gonna be double the stress... haiz. o well. wish our team luck.
haiz.. mroe stress coming..

oh. i did ask myself again. to work with stress and get mroe pay and be not so happy,
or get lesser pay and be relax and abit maybe happier?
many pros will say go for happiness..  money doesnt matter.
we all know the answer to that. ..tis just a matter of... .will u choose that....
lesser pay..with more happiness?...
relaxation.. .with ur lov eones.. .
or.. .yea..

i.. wonder hows future is gonn abe with him..so ncie...  .then.. i wonder.. how will it begin..

6 yrs and a half plus.. it holds dearly in my heart.. .but.. i wonder if he does..

my frens asked me. .why i dun wanna open my hearts up to other guys. waht. to someone like that guy? 'give me back. give me back my heart;''XD lol.
jk. but yea.. .once youve given your heart to someone,....... u know how it goes..

oh. i was like. .ong story. but i was liek usin gmy jap tone and saying the jap.. thank u.. ..welcome.. .my collegaue was like.. omg .  hahha so cute XD
lol. thast how they sound mah. if i rrly wan, i can rrly do it. o well. too bad im not a pro of jap language. haha. but im still .. yea. v much liking it

oh.. prior to the part wher i talked abt the unlady like woman ,
i think.. a true woman... mm... difficult to say.. she can be sexy on her own.. doig her own thang. .. without tyring too hard. demure at the same time. .kind.. . and giving...  mm.. hard to say all bah. bt yea. u get the drift. and.. .i rrly wish that i can strive  to be like that. the perfect and wonderful woman i cna be.
wonderful, demure, yet naughty and kind and sexy and angel and devil like. i think i am. but thats not up for me to judeg.eso yea.
but im pretty glad with who i am fo rnow.. .

oh. uknow. i todl my colleague the other day. we're laughign at my another colleague cute actions. when she's in a hurry. and. .i was like. .ey u know waht. htats like the happiest laugh ive ever had in a long time. .i dun even know whens the last time i ahd such a gd laugh. ..  besides the trip in syd. .then she's like. .yea.. thats becos youve been sad for so long..

o well. .

k bah. rrly for now. jaa

looking forward to neil liams on movie.


mata


21 September 2014

bf/men/guys

oh no. just realized ive forgotten to save my memo and it got deleted.. .and ive forgotten what to blog abt. agration.. i will do my best to recall =/

so u knw how guys.. like. .. thats why i say do not ever judge a book by its cover.

this converige guy from ion, he used to be infront of my previous store all the time. cos the guys nid to wear suit and look smart. like gentleman. even the way they walk and talk. then last night at mrt 11pm. lol. i saw him. he was like ah beng desu .haha. he was cursing in hokkien. nasty words la. cursing about why sudden heavy rain. and the way he walk, like uncle very rough haha. i was like. whoa. so thats who he is. XD
omg. cant believe it. he's a ah beng. lol
if ive nvr seen that, i woudlve thought he's a gentleman too. haha.
so yea .nvr trust what u see. u may see a pretty girl at a bar soft spoken or whatever, but she may be a whore or mother of 5 for all u know.
jsut saying. cos. .soemtimes .appearence ..rrly clouds the mind

mm.. oh. so that day. i forgot. totally forgot. been months since i took that supplement. hav two so far. oen is abit more.. slpy side. so was liek. i needed it. uring daytime at work .then took it. to my dismay, i suddenly felt nauseous, and errible form my stomahc up. towards my throat. i was like. .holding back. abuit liek wana throw up. then everythign came back to me. soemthings aint right abt tht bottle. ( but i dunno how i still end up with only 3pills left=.= ) not aitn right. its more of.. i think im taking the wrong thing. or... its not suitable for me u knwo. cos im taking it without doc prescripition. im ordering from online. theres a risk i know. but.. o well. im taking it.
so yea. gd thing im ok after hanging on for a couple of hrs. phew.
its always liek that eh. when youve stop doing thigns.. u forgot how... it'd affected u...

i.. thought all ladies shoudl be treated like one by their man
treated well. and good. not overboard like some u know.
oh . speaking of which. my fren was like talking abt ti. soem gasl arre rrly high maintaince like. they wil lsuck the bf dry. i agree. i often sees alot of guys pay for their gf. i dunno why .
and .. oh long story. but i agreed with her.
cant date jsut go eat hokkien mee? must it be exp all the time?
or why guys must pay for ur bag or shoes.
while u jsut stand there and not taking wallet out. or least pretending to =./=
lame i know

oh i recalled.

so that same nice colleague. pinoy. she married early rememebr? had 2yrs daughter. she s25 now. anyway. same person.
so she told me last night... she broke up with her hubby (that time when he was her bf) for abt 8months. (yet he still nvr give up trying to contact her from sg/ yea he's workign in sg) . she broke up cos he was too possessive ( how i wish u know who is ) . but he's kinda in a bad way bah.. liek say not so nice words. anyway, then she met a celebrity form a famous band hwo asked for her num. after abt 8 months of hanging out (also with her fren) , she decided to be his gf. but before she could say so, her fren told her the ugly truth. they slpt together. she told my colleague he's not a gd guy. shes such a nice woman she doest deserve him
. she believer her fren cos her fren is thhose. .slutty type like daring enuff to slp with anyone .
my fren was heartbroken.
long story. anyway. at the end. when she moved to near pihilpine duno wherer. for her job. her now hubby flew there to see her. she told him all. he was liek .see told u so. i will be there for u always.
aww.
but yea. my colleague and the jerk met when she moved there. (before her hubbby fly to see her)
he say be frens. she say ok.2nd chance. then he blew it by gettign abit drunk and trying to get advantage of her. =.= stupid right.
if u love someone, u wont do that
anyway. so yea.

then he flew there right. she accepted him and guess what. (btw she's abt 19 when she met that celebrity)
they got married after 2 months. lol .
=) awww. nice. so swt. happy for her. cos she a rrly2 nice and pretty and cute kind lady.

can u imagine? after only 2 montsh after they got back together . then married alrdy ha.

swt

anwyay. yea. he's a lucky man

but u knw waht she say. she say to me. my bf is a lucky man.
to have me. .

..o well. but i don ge tto contact him v often nowadasy .and. yea. theres thigns i alaso .. i dunno .we odn rrly talk abt or chat abt?
so ..yea. its hard i guss. cos. .i dunno hwats he's been rrly doign ..i duno

oh my colleague right. heard from my sm. she told her. her hubby and she made a pact. to slp same time. cos knwo why/? he snores so badly that she couldnt slp. so she must slp first.
liek u knwo snores v loud and alot .my sm say otu another gd fren asm) bf also snores sooo bad and v loud. luckily our fren is a v v heavy slpeeper. so she's fine. ahhaha.
my sm was like. huh? u guys married alrdy still cant get used to it? she's like. .i cant believe u said that .(dunno . in a joking way? i guess? )

for me. he snores. pretty loudly too. and often .almost all the time. perhaps its all the time .but i dun mind cos been with him for so long .moer than 6 and half yrs now. and. actually i lie it. watching and videoing . ha. yea. liek somethign personal? sioemthign only i'll get to see(besides his family bah )
so yea. i find that specia l. and i still can slp.
and yea. even if he drools or snores.. .im ok. i like him. when u love someone, u accpet even his not so pretty' sights bah. ha.


haiz.

hope he's doing ok. o well .dunno bah

oh. ya. sad. rgm comignback to work .sighs =( gonna be stress pickign up the call again .

more stress again

haiz

mata


18 September 2014

bullshi*s

i dun understand why when guys  msg brb, or ttyl, its like 24hrs later. or less. or soemtimes more.
whats their definition of that i wonder

mind is blank. nvm.

oh my fren say her crush everytime liek that .when she moved on, he then text her and say he's ready to commit. shes so frustrated ha.
but anywya she found a more responsible man so yea gd for her .
mm.. maybe shld catch up with her on that soon
hopes shes ook

sometiems theres a limit to one who can take in bullshits
my limit is almost up

mata

do not bump into me

reluctantly then i blog.
cos.. dunno bah. been thinking some stuffs. .wasnt sure or whats going on.. or how to handle it.. =/
escaping bah.
didnt note down what i'd wanted to blog this time. so forgot most of it. everything i think

haiz
o well

nah. better not say it.

feels like this boat is drifting far away.. further away..

the weeks without rgm aussie .wow so great. and not as stressful. but shes comign back soon so yea=/
wish us luck again

duno what to blog.

finally my cough stops. since ytd i think .
mm. .what else

sorry peeps. this isnt me trying to force myself and blog
haiz. another time perhaps

oh just recaled .toda this stupid b**** bumped into me without apologizing. in store. out of reflex i ouch or oi again .my colleague say she's shocked. lol. but its not gd bah. i dunno how to change this . =/
its auto reflex. i couldnt think before i say that out loud. its like another me.
o well. perhaps im just so frustrated in alot of things and i kept it al linsde bah. all bottled up. thats why ..almost blow up when someone tsteps on my tail
haiz. o well .

jaa mata

14 September 2014

awaiting

The ever first korean male group i like is tvyxq . Many yrs ago. The most like member is hero. The leader of the group.

Today i saw the mv of klrean group jyj. Omg. I was like. Hey he is gd lookjng n familiar. I searched on it and yea. It was indeed the three memwbs who usdd to be jn tvyxz. Long story. So now they are not jn tat group. No wonder look so familiar. Vos not alot of korean guys are gd lookjng. Thenalways made themsleves look girly if u mnow wat j mean=_ sprry jf i spell wrong more cos im typing from hp. Haiz.

Anyway. So yea i aas rightvtats  .hes the first n only korean guy whos gdlooking and sang well . So ya. For a korean guy .. hes the first.
Ni wo dr i was like. Eh why their vpice so gd. Indeed. Tvyxq. Forsome reason their vouces ..yup v gd.

I dun like those tylucal korean groups. Weird makeup..eyebrows.. etc. Argh puts me off.

So hes finally bavk. And yea. Ice always wonder where theyve been. Since shitcase.. ry glad they are still in the business. Boa took pic with him before when shes young. Haiz. If only hes still part of tvyxq.
anyway. Gd for him
he still looks gd and yup. Voice great too. Yay to the old tvyxq leader
don care how he they dance. But as long as they sang well

mm. Duno.. ehy he say i dusappeared.. hes the kne who say to lay low. And not to  msg etc . As much  as i wan to msg him j cant. Since he said so. Wat id his parents find out.
Duno bah. Pnot like i don wanna msg hjm
or did he forgot what he said to me. Duno nid to lay low till when. When can we msg again normally

so i cant msg him ttill he msg first.. And he couldnt msg everyday. So yea.
o well
Haiz. Like tat bah.
Wat to do
Days fades away..
i dun even know..
sighs...
wat shld indo now...

mata

argh typing from hp more spelling mistakes . Skanz ne. Nid lappy soon







10 September 2014

strangers

my colleague ask me why am i still coughing. ha.
since last monday. throat and nose unwell. then tues started coughing badly.

sooo slpy .

anyway. just got back from taking a look at the lappies. not with my fren. but just browse first .
great .the lapp im lookign at is so thin haha. and the keys are seprated. i rrly like thin lappy
mmm... so yea. but don dare to buy yet. cos dunn owhat to ask and stuff. better ask my fren see how
i cant stand my lappy. so slow =/
and cant check my work stuff properly. gosh

kinda irritated sometimes. my colleague will jsut walk past and pat my butt. =/= like.. dun like ar.
know she just playing la but ..yea. abit irritated ne =/

that day i went into aldo lookign for shoes. then suddenly this guy came to the froint and greetted. then another one also. immediately i lost the mood to shop=/=  cos they were standing right in middle of store. me don like ppl coming up to me . just wanna shop peacefully

then dunno wanna email today.... gonna apply for leaves. though he aint sure.. but o well.
gonna be interesting since ive nvr been there in april before
mm m
wonder hows the weather like

so this pub or bar  i went to with my colleagues sometimes, its like.. the boss ar. since the last trip i noticed he liek to look at our table leh. i dunno. i dun feel comfortable at him staring or looking.
my gut feelings says something is not right.
told my frens he's lookiing. they say oh he's the boss here. cant they tell somethings weird?

then theres this place. the moment we went in i sense this group of guys looking .or checking out .
so uncomfortable i tell u. my gut feelings says soemthigns not right either. true enough, couple of times they keep comign over to our table. =.= lame excuses.
say bday la. say wanna know where we from. they're from uk apprantly. and hongkong with thick uk accent.
asians.
then. finally when my sm wanna head out and sit, (to avoid them)
she and my fren left me alone sia. htey went toilet. =.= wth right. argh.
then the guy talk to me sia. grr. .i say i dont think they wanna sit with u all. but i will ask them. cos i say dun wan.
he keep pleading. i was confident they will say no. then when my frens back. blah3... then they say ok =.= .....
omg. first time sharing table with guys we din even know. but my sm know what she's doing la.
we din even give fb even when he ask for it .
its jsut a social thing is that what u call it?
im not gd with these. my first time encounter this. so yea.
still cant believe they left me in thelurch and go toilet. =. .=
omg
my frens ask them speak slower cos their accent too strong. but i can understand better . so i can make out what they're trying to say . but yea they speak quite fast. one of them v funny. one okok . one quiet . argh .=.= guys

i dunno. they're nice la. we're good. but. i don feel that .. i dunno .somethigns missing i think.
also like. .im not the kind who like to hang out with a group of girls. i like being alone to shop . like walk my own ways look at my own things. though frens come in handy when i nid opnion to choose which colours or designs..etc. thats rrly gd. but other than that.
mm... yea.
dunno ne. jsu tme bah. weird.
multiple personailities.
o well .

mm.. anyting else to add..
thats it fo rnow ba. stil lsad abit cos cant youtube online =/ bigger screen than hp k.
huu


so rgm went nyc.. .
another rgm takeover . so glad sia. talking to this sg rgm better than talking to syd one. cos shes so strict and impatient.

remember i mentioned my 25 yrs old colleague who has a 2yrs old daughter/ her daughter has dimples like her mum, aw. i say so nice. my colleague say u have also wat. i say where. she say upper cheeks. erm .no pic to show so its hard to describe. but yea.i laughed it off. haha.
oh i also have abit on my lower  lips side..and faint one at the side of my right cheek

my fren was telling me this song reminded me of my story' ''rude'' by magic.
is more of guy;s side but yea. ha. interesting. saw the mv the other day at bar.
who would called themself magic. what a weird band name. O.o

jaa mata

07 September 2014

things at work

loading soooooooo slooowwwwwwww=.= gosh.

got thigns to blog . luckily noted down into my memo. so i wont forget so much of what nid to be blog.

had a bad dream of samm the other day. long vivid cdream..kinda. but it was bad cos its like he's tryig to flirt iwth the sales girl or something behindmy back and trying to hide it .then i was so unhappy inside. somethign like that ba. sad.
hate dreams like this

ytd dunno why so many attentions.. one of whihc. this guy with think his gf bah. and another female frne. i was doing cashiering. from corner of my eyes can see as though he turned his head towards me. or sumtin. then i thought of nothing. then his gf give him a nbudge from her elbow. lol. then he say. what!? i wasnt looking. like drama ne. =. = then their fren laugh.
and this old man. waiting at entrance. can look me up and down. i saw him does that u know. like literally up and down. omg .i dunno. im still not v comfortable with all these stares. especially with partners de, me always try to stay far far away. i dun like to serve those.

me trying to stop wearing certain dresses cos. abit low cut will become as htough im wearing v low cut dress=.=  today hapened that this bra kidna like.. rrly pushed up my boobs? i dunn ohow to describe. but .. yea. and i din know. and my colleague . one of htem was like. telling each other. i didnt know paulien u have such big u know. =.= i was like ..erm.. .its jsut a gd bra bah. and i shouldntve wear that dress. haiz. wat else can i wear
my colleague like to pat lightly on my bum whenever i wear tight fitting skirt or dress. haio. v weird ne. though she's ok de.

so slpy . gotta go slp soon

so nice. rrly envy of my part timer. she wen to syd settled some stuffs or something .her bf there. she studied there for four yrs. so yea. her bf will be picking her up. she's stayin gthere for a month . at her aunt place. haiz.. .so nice. rrly so  wish to go back there too =/

my sm reminded me and our fren to book for al .i rrly nid to submit asap. mm.. whihc dates ne. feb and july ar. gosh. i haven decided yet. man. shouldve done it today. but no time. couldnt find shoes. nid one badly cos mine broke. and my feet hurts badly.and toes.. .=/ from the covered shoes. i nid sandal
rrly couldnt find the one i like

oh yea. haha .i asked my colleague to buy things. i gave her money .she shld be landing in mrg. .. haiz. rrly jealous. wish im the one in plane now =/  o well

jaa mata

05 September 2014

o..k.... so... gd thing that samy gave me a basic brand to start out from.. so.. yea. i only researched on lenovo. then do my homework. . then.. was deciding on s410. when my fren suggested me to go for I7 core instead. he said diff thigns as sammy. so yea. so now im checking ot the other. .rather pay abit more to get somethign longer lasting.
dunno bah wil lsee hwo things end up. they say diff things. im stil lgoing for 500gb though my frn sya 1tb no prob.

mm.. today too lazy to go out since im still sick. couhg like hell. huu = /
somemore diarrhea . dunno what i ate.

mm... how ar. colleagues alrdy been booking the leave sfor next year liao. i dunno which dates shal li booked,.
howwwwww =/
duno stil lcan see him anot. ..o well. will figure out the dates when rgm is back from her holidays bah. ny ne. nice eh.
but i don mind syd cos im so familiar there liao. ^^ lvoe it

mm.. gonna apply for july. and ... sianze think feb all booked liao. i dunno.think stil lgot chance. but .. .mm.. maybe for hte cny period. yea. hopefully .
sm also tell me book asap and fast.cos ppl will start booking liao.
=.= huuu why policy like that

mm.. as for july.. dunno ne. .
or ... hiaz. dun think easter and oct term break he'll be free.. .don even know if we stil lcan see... anyway.
yea. see howbah. but definitely applying leave for feb or march. cos huuu... my final leave is this year end of june T_T  huu...this year work til lsiao... no breaky. only 8dasy off. huuuuuuuuuu T_T
why oh why they nvr tell me got policy cannot take leave same ppl same time.. huu

haiz. learnt my lesson. .anyway. yea. maybe apply for cny week period. im sure alot of chinese also wanna do tht .i better start thinkign of july or june. ...shldd be july bah. duno. my fren alrdy applied for end of july till aug.
thank god she din apply in july. its end of july.
wil lfigure out soon bah.

so nice. ..rgm on holiday 2 weeks. .. rrly wish i could go on one with him .. i wodner hows its liek huh.. .to go on a trip both didnt know of. and. .yea. thats the time when u an see if ur partner is gd or not. i mentioend before. not gonan go on deatisl for that but yea. imagine the person getting lost and impatience etc.. .over places wann visit..etc. .youll know u had a bad trip and that person isnt patient enuff fo ru

erm. yea. something like that. anyway. hoep i'll figure out the dates within these weeks. somemore my store is opening ard taht time.. .haiz. if my asm is new. .how to leave the store for oen week or so =/
thats what sm said. i know also .se ehow bah. hopefully i'll get a v good asm

my store is at a cbd area or soemthign. v v weird name. nobody know where that is.
im worried abit. .cos. .if no one know. hwo to make sales??
=/
rgm say the buildin is v v nice and pretty looking. mm. .gonna check out google.
..no idea which mall =.= form the way sm prounouce it, .. .yea. nobody knows the spelligns cept for rgm .plus her accent is weird u knwo. .. the aussie strong slang. haiyo

mm.... so yea. hopefully bah. wil lhave . .m,.. think shld have heaps of office ppl... ahh. .then shld have lots of angmohs.. .cos alot of angmohs working in sg office etc.. thenn.... yea.. .parties... d and d... mm.. hopefully somehow wil lhelp in sales ba .

jaa mata ne

got one more thing to say but next time bah. not feelign qwell =./ since mionday ne. huu

03 September 2014

info for lappy

still sick like what desu =(
huu i couldnt taste anything todya. abt 0.1% only. seriously tasteless=/
again. not too long ago i suffered that as well. sighs .
at qwork.. .gosh .wish i mc ne.. but.. o well .gotta work.

anyway. last night so... haiyo. was so drowsy and slpy by my med. in bed. msging sammy... then msg till i when  i woke up, i couldnt remember waht we'd msg=.= '' so wasted right. was asking him abt the lappy and all. .hoope i din missed out anything impt . oh man. when i wokeup, its like. huh.  gdnight? yea. snapchat like that wan. msg al lgone .was so sick ytd and today. =/ o well.. dislike. talk so much then cant remember anything=.=
ytd also he told me coupe of lappy thigny. no choice i have to snap the pics. cos its gonna disappeared .and i will forget it all. so yea. ha. jsu tcant believe how i slpt through and forgotten what i'd typed. think my spelling was v bad. altered halfway then fall aslp then wakey agin. but dunno got send through anot.

slpy desu. v slpy
tmr shld be able to taste bah .i hope.

nnow i learned more from him abt the stats that i shld be looking out for. mm.. also nid to find out abt the installing new lappy.. shld i get new fan. i shld right. i dunno. nid to clean it first. bet alot of ducts liao
maybe still can use
 sad huh. have to depart with my lappy liao. afer many years.
wah. my colleagues all booked fo rfeb leaves. haiz. don tel lme i hav only march to book. mm.. better than nothing. but i wonder what to do. stay at uss hotel huh. not bad acctually u know. sg hotel worth to stay though exp.

mm.. se ehow ba
i jus t nid a break .this year i only have break in syd abt 8days total leave. then short stay few days. then no more breaky liao. =/ wah. work till so hard then only on leave liek that. sianz. ha. o well. hoep next year i apply leave earlier and faster .
stipid polivy onl y can one person go on leave at a time. think two can but ...dunno ba. not alwasy

anywya. hope i'll get well soon
and. .yea. dunno my new lappy in future cna explore gw2 games anot. he mentioned before. i checked it. its interesting .jsut duno if complicated to play. but. i like the story line. v intriguing

thoguh work... still have to keep tlaking abt promo non stop. my throat.. .no time for rest at all. huu
jaa mata

02 September 2014

time for new lappy

sammys right. i do nid to change my lappy liao .
but dunno which type to choose .somemroe no time to find. thought next week .but somehow my off changed. so yea. see how bah. 
gonna nid my fren's help . i know zero abt lappy so yea. thank goodness at least if someone knows. 
though not sure how much i wanna spend ..mm.. think i kinda know what type i need. will be great if can balance both (can try out games ha) fun and online ..pics. usage .mm.. cant think . im v sick 
=/ 
see how bah . too many to choose from .the other time i saw couple of nice offers. and they looked gd too
wond erif its time to change my fan too. u think? 
mm.. 

so yea. as i was saying. so dang sick desu. shoudlve mc.. but o well =/ 
jjst tahan bah .its only 9. but i cant wait to be in bed alrdy .but too full .just had curry fish head. 
i cant taste much though. wasted .
hope iw ont have fever whilst im slping .
my nose and throat is killing me. 
zzzzzzz

headache. wow its liek all at one shot 

whole head is stuffy. today still tahan at work. o well 

ha. glad to hear that bro not coming home tonight .ok gd. meaning i can slp early .

so sick .rrly wish to mc. o wel l=/ 
nvm. .
so busy too .. must hang in there
k bah gtg

still nid to do more research on lappy . though doubtn that helps. cos not liek al llappy is gonna be in the mall .my fren say go funan . mm.. o well .see how it goes bah. just hoep my lappy dont die on me before i get my hands on new one. 

hopefully by this month. 
hopefully. 

stil lremember how he helped me get my first lappy ha. 
was pretty exp though. sadly din make good use of it. but.. .yea. this time i shld. 

gonna work for another 6 months or more then can go on leave again. but dunno what shld i do. holiday. or waht. i kinda miss syd summer. mm. .o well. se ehow na

today my colleague say i wear so sexy. crop top plus tight skirt.. wt to do. ppl wear like normal. i wear like.. mm.. dunno ba. sometiems kinda like. .worried how if men looking anot . especially after those hideous incidents.
even when ppl accidentally bumped my butt with paper bags or my colleague, i also quickly turned my head and look .
will try not to mind too much ba =/
meep

mm.. seems like after few youtube vids my comp then lagged. wonder if same thign will happen if i didnt youtube at all.... mm.. 

jaa mata