More Concern Needed

hmm.. ok... so.. heard that my bosses wouldnt let me quit.. 'they don wanna let u go' my manager said. -_-nah.. i couldnt care less.. i don know.. it seems weird. .i handed in my resignation letter already, yet they keep saying' if its confirm,..' i was like.. huh? what not confirm? geez.. -_-



hm..anyway.. as i was saying.. ytd.. erm. ..

i dunno.. yeah my mum worries about me sometimes.. but.. hm.. i dunno.. it reminded me of my fren's case.. family are worried about her.. yet.. she say to me.. 'no la.. they dont worry that much..' but i know her bro. so i told her what i know.. hopefully she know they worry lots..

her dad too. she's kinda.. like. .quiet when she heard that. ... anyway.. yeah.. that reminded me of myself.. my bro he doesnt ask me anything.. if im out, or whatever i do, he wont voice out or anything like that. sometimes i do hope that he'll stop me or anything like that. u know.. shows some. .erm care about what im doing outside?..

=/ for him, i really didnt know how he feels.. but i know my mum worries. .dad too it seems. .thats what mum say.. so.. well.. its like.. u kinda know how they might feel.. jus that.. ..hm.. i dunno.. .. sometimes it doesnt appeal to me that.. ..hmm...........

hm..

anyway bene raining heavily for the past few days. las tonight slpt ok.. tonight should be fine.. been feeling slpy though.. hm.. yeah.. gotta slp soon..
tmr .. should be a better day.. .. looking forward to it..

mata

Tmr Longer Blog

soo osleepy and tired.. had wanted to meet up with my frne for movies.. but min cancelled.. so gotta bring my mum out.. haha.. watched with her the movie pandorum. :) not bad. high tension.
hm..
then wanted to watch another movie.. but. .dad called to find both of us.. for dinner.. ..=/.. so o well... wen tback home instead.. ate alot. .sooo full!!

hmm.. tmr work... good thing half shift.. cos so sleepy now.. huu

hm.. actually wanted to type out some personal thoughts.. but really cant.. cos too tired.. keep yawning.. sleepy..

me blog tmr bah.. haiyo.. wanna rest soon..

mata

Resting Time! :P

gosh! starving!!!!!
and sooo sleepy!!!
gonna shower, eat and slp. haha.. cant wait.. gosh.. head tired sia..

mata

Soon For Break

hm........... ...lend a listening ear just now.. .. things settled for now.. ..
but not for mine i guess... .. .. o well

hm..... .....
hungry. .so.. hungry... ..
hm..
ate abit..
now.. typing blog.. .
ready to sleep soon..
really sleepy..
good thing still got the energy to type this.. ..ha

hm...
very sleepy. .even get the chance to wakey late.. abit. :) really nice.. in bus.. also can slp.. meaning yes.. very2 sleepy i am indeed..

hmm.,..
my voice aint back yet.. ..
huu...

....feeling blue.. ... :(
someone is giving me the cold shoulder.. ..
bro's not home.. parents slping.. its quiet here.. abit lonely.. but. .well.. i have my net here..for company..

hm.. k.. time for a rest soon.. i was hoping my off day, i could get some free time clean up.. or yeah.. do whatever i wanan do.. hmm..
think i got plans.. .see how.. just wanna take a break..
spend some time alone.
..see how things goes ne..

sigh.. ..i don feel good... ..

mata

Meeting Over Good

no wonder my throat keep getting worse till lost my voice! i just realised this in the morning! i forgot to take any medicine when my throat started to get uncomfy! haiyooo... me ar.. no one remind me, always forget .. huu :(

oh.. todya.. sigh.. sleepy sia.. mornign theres early meeting. .again, ppl late. .-_-
but.. well, meeting .hmm.. wow. .my boss in super good mood.. omg.. weird!! but cool. gerat for everybody :)
but at the end of meeting, mansor, hm.. dunno purposely or what, bring up my resignation letter matter. they don know yet, argh.. long story man.. then his own matter, leave applications, never mention at all. -_-
Ahh don care la.

huu.. cut my hand today with a pair of big scissors.. the joint part.. cos was sleepy.. then argh.. thinking about stuffs.. =/ then.. cuttig the cardbox while doing stocks.. then.. ouchie.. haha.. kena cut. o well..

geez.. im really worried about this fren of mine.. she's such a nice.. and i don wish anythign more bad happen to her.. i think.. hm.. she might be the closest girl fren i have. haha. dunno.
hm.. i think its nice to have female frens ya know.. we clicked. so thats good. ha. with izuan too

ok. so.. so far so good.. meeting went well.. cept' for the last part.. tehn. .well, .. ok.

mata

Great Book!! :)

k.. so.. my throat still aint getting better at all. in fact, worse. wonder how am i gonna speak up in the meeting..
i got a feeling this sure gonna last.. =/
sigh

hm...
my internet connection is killing me!! argh! man its slow!
tch...

haiyo.. .me soo sleepy... but.... o well....
tmr gotta wakey very early too..

hmm... ok..
that day ne, i was out with my frens. i played in the arcade- racing car, catch the doll, basketball, and soul of the calibur game(im sure i spelled wrong. lol). i managed to get through! wow! i cant belive i can do that!:D cool! fighting game, darn, love that!:) hehehe.
yeah..

hm.... lets see. ...erm..
oh!! theres this cookbook, me really like sooo much:) lol. 2 of my frens actually bought it for me. saying on one condition, i gotta cook the dish from the cookbook, for them .lol. but nice of them really.. cos i was wondering whether i should buy that anot.. then walk past a 2nd time, my fren joke2, and end up saying buy it for me. lol. so yup. they shared money to buy. wahh.. hahaha. but yeah. me really that spicy cookbook :) awesome i tell u. gave me alot of new ideas:) yes! ^^ hehe.. nice book.

hmm
dec.. is coming in a blink of an eye.. .. somehow. yeah.gosh.. gonna be great eh.. ha.

hm.. ..o well...
just cant wait for my free time to arrive. next month.. might be abit busy though..

hm... weird.. i totally forgotten what i was gonna type here just now. ..hmm...
haiyo.. cant remember..

oh.. my photo cd rom i got it back already..
like.. wow? haha.. finally huh.. anyway, yup.. that'll be my memory for sake :)

kk.. gtg. .tired.. on lapp so long haiz..
hmm
gosh craving for chips now. .how sia.. my throat.. should i eat? haha

mata

Funny Moment

gosh.. where should i start>?.. i am soooo sleepy.. haiyo... actually doesnt feel like blogging.. wanan slp.. my throat hurts alot.. and i lost my voice.. huu... :(
got a feeling tmr will be worse..

hm.. now it seems the bosses know im quitting.. ... hm.. tmr's meeting they might be bringing that up.. .. and tues.. gosh.. omg... tues.. .argh... drag it!!
im gonna be in the office man.. all i can say is, wrong timing.. ha

oh... somethign really funny happened few days back i think?
i was thinking about some stuffs.. sitting on a chair.. i look to my left.. then i turn.. slowly.. i look to my right.. theres this auntie there sitting.. fat and dark.. i was really concentrating on my thoughts.. focusing.. then suddenly the second i turn to my front, my fren was sitting there, with his hand on his chin, elbow on table, looking like smart like that. he say 3 chinese words. 'yao xiao xin'. must be careful.. LOL..!! i was laughing so hard! cos its like im concentrating on the outside view, then suddenly i saw him being all this serious, lol... omg. .so funny... somemore pose like smart and cool.. hahahah really funny sia... ..

something bad happened to my fren.. .:( i feel sad ,bad, guilty, and heartpain for her.. .. sigh... .... poor thing.. :(
i felt as though i didnt protect her.. huu.. ..
now we're trying to find a solution.. erm.. not say that but.. hm...
.. sigh..
anyway, just leave it to my fren to decide.. since he's that jerk's fren.
longggg story man.. ..haiz.
bt final decision shall be made by my poor fren.. ..

kk.. enough said..
gotta rest my throat, and get some slp.. really9 sooo tired today.. huu...

mata

Important One

gosh.. been sleeping early eh... fell aslp.. (nice slp though..) then wakey.. bath.. geez.. super duper hungry:( and im losing my voice.. arghhh... throat hurts... huuu

okok brief bloggy only.. days later will have more time to do that i think.. sleepy now.. gonna go slp soon..

hm...

u know.. how ppl say.. when something important happen,.. example. .a family member died.. the first person who comes to ur mind to give a call and cry to, is the one most important to u.
and that night.. unknowingly.. i 'auto' gib sam a call.. and... u know.. it kinda reminded me of that.. ..and yeah.....
he's the one who cares about me lotsssssss..

seems like yeah.. he's getting really busy now.. .. especially with his new house.. so.. .yeah..

gosh.. i hope my throat will be better.. .. huu

oh... me submitted my resignation letter already.. ..hmm........ ... gosh......
hopefully sunday wont have any huge commotion..

mata

Terrible Night

ok.. so ytd.. wasnt feeling too well already.. tired. .head's dizzy... sigh..
feeling kinda terrible now.. :(
middle of night, whoa.. gosh.......
made a phone call to sam.. sigh.. don want him to worry.. yet.. he's the first person i could think of.. feeling so terrible.. high fever..
:(
perhaps of the weather recently? i dunno.. but its been pretty humid and hot ya know. argh.
anyway.. never expect things to turn out this way..
not been sleeping well.. even now, still darn sleepy.. off day is coming... sigh. .cant wait.. omg...........................
long day ahead.. drag it.. :(
..haiz
kk.. i gotta rush for work now.
if tonight feeling better. will blog

mata

HUNGRY!!(Again Huh) -_-

hmm... geez.. nice movie tonight. hmm...... abit tired.. but lemme tell ya.. im really9 darn hungry right now:(
lunch only had a bowl of noodles, dinner, 4 pieces of chocolate,.. and yeah... :(
huu...
super duper hungry now.. would've cook now.. but.. o well.. i gotta sleep already.. ..so..

hm..

oh today get to speak with sammy for about 7mins?.. hm.. yeah.. short.. but.. erm. good enough i guess.. always better than nothing..
hm...... ..
yeah.. miss chatting everynight like we used to..
=/
haiz.. o well

this fri... oh gosh.............. how am i gonna survive.... without lappy.. :( huu........................
sad!!... sooo gonna bring a couple of good cds there, and sing or whatsoever.. oh yeah.. speaking of singing.. yeah.. sang a couple of songs today.. before work.. cos bored. ha.
so.. yup.. ...
in youtube.. but.. apity the volume sux....
=/

mata

Bad Day At Work =/

.... :(
had a tough day...
a bad bad one.. ..
sigh..
longgg story................... :(
even when mansor walk into the shop, his face also black like what. ..tch.
he's also very unhappy with our bosses.
tch.........

but glad sammy's day alrite though.. seems happy. yeah.. at the very least someone is having a better time than me.

throat still aint that well..
hm.....
=/..
..just done with my resignation letter.. ..
...

for 3 years huh.. ... i've been working.. and blogging about work and stuffs.. get to know lots of nice ppl.. :) so.. yeah.. .. its been great.. and i;ve been able to be myself.. laugh.. and. .yeah..
but apity this place and the bosses here.. .. sux... =/
o well..........

..sigh....

i don care anymore..
if they dare to hold back what belongs to me, i'll rather lose it, and fight back. i bite harder than i look. try me, and i'll make them suffer.
and i mean really suffer.. even if my colleagues too. i swear.

...

hate to be like this.. but i gotta do this man..

at the point of no return road, this is it. this is me. no more backing off..
but then again it all comes down to the final outcome.

man.. my throat.. argh...

......

sigh...
feel so troubled..

and last night. gosh.. shouldnt had taken that 2 hrs nap.. i was tossing and turning for 2 hours before i finally get to slp!
and then yeah.. head's thinking lots of stuff at one go... =/

..
=/ feeling down today man.. ..
sigh
..
i need something to cheer me up.. ..
huu

mata

Wanna Sleep Ne..

hmm........ wow.. sleepy now... .. hahaha...

hmm.. weird.. nowadays doesn't seem to hm.. like never really type alot of whats happening here.. perhaps doesnt feel like saying..

hmm............ sleepy ne...
wanna rest..
no.. feel like having chocolate.. no.. my throat not feeling well.. =/ haiyo...
but really feel like having dessert ne.. .. =/
hmm...
bored........... .. :(

sigh...
tch

oh... theres lots of news in the meeting today.. hahaha...
me don care a thing about it anymore.. but just gotta be careful whenever im using lappy..
so.. yeah.. one month to go man.. just hoping they wont transfer me to tanglin mall..

gosh.. so wanna take a nap now.... perhaps in abit..
sleepy neeeeeeeeee.....

hm..... theres gonna be a staff meeting next week.. =/ geez.... to think im gonna face the bosses right after i submit my letter... arghhhh.... sianz.

hm.............
haiyo...
:(
i think im troubled by some matters ne.
but ne.. hm... =/ dunno..
ahhhhhh......... -_- nvm ba.. future shall see.. ..=/

mata

Im Bored Now

hm.. i wonder if i lost weight again.. :( perhaps on my wrists only..
just months ago, i remember my watch fits tightly on my wrist.. and now, its suddenly became so loose.
sigh.. tired of this already..
im gonna eat what i want.. and not eat whenever i want. pissing off now.
don care anymore.
was so hungry just now.. :( but .. sigh.. not in the mood to eat now..
=/

i cant wait for my frens to fly over here.. next year huh..
haiz... ...time is slow sometimes. .sometimes fast.. .. irritating... the world is spinning...

gosh.. .wow.. look.. imma hand in my resignation letter soon.. cant belive this.. and.. i have no clues of what to write! huu..

working with nisa is fun.. ha. always hyper and crazy. and moving. ha.. ..hm. ..o well.........

mata

No Worries

hm........ ok.... so.. my day.. started out to be so tired..sleepyyyyyyyy.....
hm.. afternoon.. decided to go ikea get something.. something which only in ikea they have.. haha... took a bus almost an hour, reach there, buy it, and off i go to town..

hm.. went to get some stuffs... hm.. then... waited for bro to finish work.. then took our dinner in fish and co..
its been a really long day out?.. yeah i guess.. ..

hm...

i think i've been doing things that worries my parents these few days.. but.. im a grown up now kinda.. haha.. so.. yeah... i myself sometimes worries too.. but me fine.. ..uh huh.. ..=/
tch.. feeling abit bad bah.. or.. .dunno... hmm........ ...
but i guess i need my freedom at this time too.. .. i dunno.. =/

hm.. weird.. i thought theres alot to talk about today.. hmm.. have i forgotten it?..
..
o well.. ...anyway its getting late. i'd better catch up on my sleep soon.. ..

mata

Energy Wasted =/

wow.. today full of energy.. dunno why..
yet very sleepy..

before closing, me and my fren were like moving around in front of my shop.. me singing bit too.. hahaha.... so funny. .and noisy!! XD almost like dancing. hahaha.... hm.. anyway, yeah.. it could've been a great weekend.. :( but sadly.. ... there isnt any plans to do anything. ..sigh.
so. .yeah.. =/
what a waste eh.. ?

rarely i got my energy fill up.. ..hm....

mata

New Places That Wows Me

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
soooo sleepyyyyyyyy
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*yawn....

hm.. wow.. today stocks so much.. -_- doing it for near 3 hours... geez..
but yeah, good thing theres things to do..

hm......
geez... really feel like slping now. ha...

hm.....

lets see... i find that theres alot of stuffs going on these days.. or the other way round.. erm.. ..well...... its been kinda upside down for me yeah.. but.. erm.. yeah.. not too bad. but.. parents might be the ones to worry most. i mean.. nothing to worry about i guess.. but yeah.. ppl cares i supposed..
hm...........

so.... had my ups and downs.. theres some surprising ones too.. hm.. so... yeah..
=/ ..
erm....
yeah...
hmmm

thinking about stuffs..
..

hm..
so.. yeah.. i guess more surprising stuffs migh be in store for me in future eh. ha

and wow.. there're still places in singapore i've never been to.. hm..... so yeah.. was really surprise.. hm... really... like.. wow. O.O like that. hahaha....
but its been great discovering all those places. :)
cool.

gosh... gotta chill out and relax soon man!! more of that and perhaps i might get myself back on tracks. just maybe only. hahaha.

..hm. =/

still important thing is missing...

mata

New Sparks

=/......
been feeling very sleepy these few days.. cos been slping sooo late.. huu... :(

yes.. not been slpin early for days.. =/
so gonna be doing that tmr i hope...

hmm
oh.. was busy with my stuffs ouside. .hen my bro close down me lappy. -_- omg. was abit unhappy.. but..... geez.. i dunno.. its abit unlike him t do that fo my stuff. :(
anyway.. had a tough time gettign back online.. argh.....

tch

hmm

...u know......

... sometimes... some choices that u've made.. .. it can seem unwilling.., but...... it can turn out to be totally different. and im sooo glad i agreed to tat something. .cos yeah...
some sparkles has been sparked.... :) its nice. really4 nice...... cool

hm.............. ...

i hope it lasts. ..

hm...

mata

MISSES

hmm... today... wakey so sleepy.. cos ytd slpt late.. then yeah. .managed to wait till sammy wakey.. :)
then.. yeah.. today feeling sleepy ne..
also. .very down.. and sad.

cos my fren. .tell me how he and his gf so sweet.. he cook.. she hug.. kisses.. .. then stay in bed.. had breakfast.. he took care of her so well.. then she say what a happy life this is .. =/.. makes me think back.. shed some tears.. man. .he shouldnt've told me that..

hm.. =/.. then my colleague, nisa, patches things up with her bf after i sounded her out.. long story. .so yup. .they heading to JB tonight. ..so nice huh.. ..wish i could do that... =/
then she's so happy and gave me a big hug. ha..
..hm.......
i wish i was the one who did that
..
then she keep pointing out to me couples who passed by.. gosh!! i don wanan see that! XD haiyo... but yeah. .today this angmoh couple wlak in my shop. .shes afew months pregnant.. and he was holding her hands.. turning it.. holding tight.. ... =/.. ... haiz..
then we saw this couple who walk past.. me noticed that the guy wasnt holding the girl's hand tight enough.. like very2 loose.. then i was reminded of sam's hand.. me told nisa me would always like to hold tight2.. squeezy hands.. then.. .. wah.. my tears just drop ne.. huu.... cos.. .i really misses alot of u know.. ..my heart alwasy cringe whenever i thought of.. ..
then in bus, another couple standing beside me.. i was sitting.. then they like.. =/.. yeah..

soo yeah.. :( basically my heart's so heavy tonight.. =/ its a nice morning.. then.. .sigh. missess are tough man.. .. makes one heart go.. down.. sometimes.. not in a bad way i mean.

haiyo................

:(

huuu

sigh.... feeling down ne....... ....
=/

maybe.. .. tmr might be a better day huh.. ...

ganbate pauline.. ..

oh. .that night, my frens order mee kuah for me. lol. they know i like spicy. first me say to the chef, extra spicy.. then another say extra very3 spicy. then another say.. make it extra3 very super duper spicy.
and yes.. the chef did it man. he make it very spicy. delicious. but.. huu.. noodles so little.. -_-
hm......... ....
i miss eating mee kuah with sam.. ever since he's gone,.. i never had anything from that stall again.. ..

i miss alot. everything. ...
everything.. ..... but not just me alone.. . im not alone.. ..

mata

2012

hm.. today.. dark.. cloudy.. raining.. so nice to laze around in bed.. .. but apity its alone..

hm... yeah.. finally. .get to rest til ard 12 plus.. ha.. but wakey at 11 plus i think..


hm.. then yeah.. last night.. watching sammy slping. .awww.. ^^ its so sweet.. so.. naw.. :)
special.. hm... then.. .yeah.. .. haiz.. but me wasnt there.. personally. ..
..
then.. as usual.. wakey a couple of time. .to check things out. .liek whether any position changed.. haha.. :) yeah.. no trouble at all.. ..

today huh.. ... hmm... read this news about the end of world thingy.. ..
hm.. very curious me. find all these very interesting.. be it true or not,.. it just puzzles me how did these ppl from the way old past predicted this fireball thingy that destroy the world. and today in this now world, ppl are sayin indeed theres 2 suns blah3... dunno what appeared at the same line or time.. blah3.. dunno what. its like.. how did the past, coincidentally hit the right nail on the spot of today's news?
those ppl are amazing in a way. i dunno.
then i saw this video. - 2 suns appeared in the chkalovsky. O.O
o..k... and i thought that only happen in digimon world, or any animations. =.=
and i mean it. 2 suns. one is alot more smaller.
the so called.. erm.. whats the name. .nebius?.. well, im just glad i watched the video shot. cool :) feel so surreal ^^.
it actually happen in the real world :) yay.

as for the predictions of how the past and the now managed to get so close,.. well... i guess thats a mysterious to me.
whatever it is, it'd better not come true. i have not yet enjoy my life to the fullest, nor fully tell how much the person he means to me. and so much more happier things to do with him.. alot.. so.. yeah. .don wish to u know.. work hard all for nothing.. 2012 is darn near man.. dec 21? or something.. dots.

mata

Bad Sunday

thanks to this girl.. above. her name is ahshikha. my day is accompanied by her..

and yeah it goes alot faster... for the hours...

i was sleepy.. nothing much to be done..

hm.. yeah. except to play with her all day. ha.

kinda 'play'. ha.

otherwise sure cant tahan throughout the day man. =/

was so bloody disappointed last night.. :( web cam doesnt work!! yes i said that before. .but. .still pissed off at it man. argh!!

hm.............

..... i... ...

..=/ ... u know.. to engage to ur partner is a very blissful thing.. at least its sort of like a promise already. saying 'this girl/man is mine. don u dare to lay a finger on!' so yeha.. its pretty alrite.. a assurance.. but... =/ sigh.. i dunno man..

my fren's fiance did something wrong i think.. thats what she told me today.. and the guy's being all coward now.. not daring to reply to any phone calls.. ..sigh.. .

=( so... yeah... such a wonderful thing turn out this way.. and its usually the guy's fault. -_-

i hope she'll be fine.. think if by wed still no answer, she's gonna go find him.. yeah.. on wed..

=/ so.. ..hm...

..

sigh

so poor thing.. .. :(

...

hm........

theres been so many 'stories' i heard about relationship lately.. =/...

..tch

...

oh.. then ytd.. reached home late.. supposed to be early! huu. anyway.. sammy still waiting for me.. then.. yeah.. aww.... then cried lots.. cos long time no see each other.. then yeah.. ... =/ ... was gonna go slp after bath.. when the stupid webcam dc. T_T sadddddddddddd

sigh,,,,,,,,

:( sunday huh... ..

my sunday sux.....

today went back home early.. :( heading back to mrt.. saw all the ppl walking ard.. couples. .families.. it seems so nice..

but for me,.. was just to head home after work... :( bored.. alone... sianz.......... ... =/

haiz.....

wasnt the kind of sunday i would like.. my weekend used to be yeah.. ..=/ much2 better... ..

could've gone out fo a cuppa of coffee with a fren now.. .. but i declined.. .. i hope its the right desicion..

.. =/ hm.. don know. ...i got a feeling my bro wont be back tonight again.. ...

oh. .gosh.. 10days to think of what to write for my resignation letter.. arghhhhh.. what should i do...

............

sigh.. stupid sunday huh... ........... =/

ytd.. ... was aites i guess.. ... at least thats what ppl called it the chilling time after days of hard work huh.. .. ..o well.... ...but its still damn tiring.. and.. .=/ and it aint really that much fun.. not say its bad.. but its fine.. cos yeah.. at least my childhood fren's there.. got someone to company me..

...hm..........

tch..

some thoughts running through my mind now.. perhaps thaat explains why im feeling so down.

..=/

nah........ its certainly not a good sunday.. :(

.........................plus with all the stories going on.... sux

hm........... i just cant wait to hang in my letter,.. and finish off my november.. then i can do whatever i want everyday.

...hm......

.....mata... ... =/

No Regrets

sigh.. wow so full mnow. stomach like gonna explode...

huu:(
got dc... cant watchy sam slping... :( sad...

sigh........

i'll make it a short blog ne,, ,,

was out till late.. just got back only..

reach home.. was surprised he's still waiting for me. .
huu,,,,,,,,,,,,

sigh......

dunno how to describe my feelings bah..

just so wanna cherish him.. sigh.

argh..... so frustrated cant watch him slp now:(............ huu.......................................

:(

my fren's fren.. broken up with gf. she's a b*tch according to my c fren. i dunno but.. well.. .=/.. i belive so. but its a long story..
anyway..
sigh.

then this other so called bloody faithful guy.. argh!! he's supposed to be going over to malaysia to join his gf already!! just months to go onnly or somethgn!! been separated for 2 years!! Lds too. then like..
i heard from my c fren. he like this girl in singapore. but she's attached. he knew they cant be together . yet he confesses to his gf in malaysia he fall for another girl. and say he and the girl cant be together though. but his gf is too upset. .say tehy break up bah. he agree readily. then soon realise after all the one he love most is his gf after all. he ask her back.. but. .:( she's already too heartbroken.. and don want him no more..
..

see.. this kind of regrets... :( its forever...
its been through so much hardwork.. and love. .yet.. this bloody stupid guy.. argh!!... just abit more only!!!! to think my fren alwasy say he's very faithful to his gf in malaysia.. really disappointing.. .:(
one mistake.. one stupid mistake dude... sigh..............
you loses something important forever.. :(

dunno why me heard so many love stories from my frens today..

another..

a couple .broke up after about 2 yrs together. they never contact each other at all.. then 5 years later. they suddenly reunited. met up again.. and few months later ,got married.and have 2 kids now.
wow.. isnt this fate?.. or something..

today... i was drawing something.. then thought of the fact that im missing out on years without being able to feel or witness sam's every actions and moves.. kawaiiness.. swtness... everything........ ... heart felt so hurt.. tears just flow out..
thats gonna be one of my regrets in life.. really... the most important years.. i couldnt go through with him personally.. that really hurts alot.. ..
a year and a half of my life... had been really wonderful and colourful.. realising the fact that im losing himj for a few more years.. really2 sux.. :(

i should be slping now.. but... ... im wishing he's gonna wakey. .cos wanna see him slp... :(

pains me to be away from him.. pains him to miss me too.. .:(
sigh.....
...

likewise. he don like me out at night.. me don like him out late too.. but.. what to do.. ..i cant be with him... no matter how much i wishes he's beside me...
then being apart.. hurts so much....

..perhaps when school starts. things should be easier for him huh...

..

sigh...

my hand reaches out to the screen... so near yet so far his face seems...
yet still look.. .. aww...

i don knowif i could fall aslp.. ..maybe might try..
but kinda resist...
...

i..
don wanan have any regrets or waste time like they did...

k.. time for me to stop...

....mata..

Morning 9am

hmm..... wakey early... ...=/ still sneezing abit.. ... feeling numb...

as though life might still be the same...



its raining.. the sky's dark... i heard abit of the rumbling thunder..

nose still feeling sick.. stomach not in the best condition either. ..

guess i'll be sleepy later on.. cos wakey super early..



mind still thinking whats been going on with sam life lately..

last night realised that eah thats good.. he's happy there now.. and things are picking up.

..yeah..

so..

Im just kinda wondering there.. when is my turn.



hmm...whole lotta think about.



oh yeah.. have no idea why.. morning wakey.. sudden thought of arriving alone in sydney's airport suddenly shoots me. wow? alone with a huge luggage bag in a huge airport?? haha.. i never thought its gonna be a big ideal. but. o..k... now that i think of it,.. yeah.. XD it is pretty.. ..haha... not sure. :P o well.. im sure the thigns will work out in the end. no use worrying about this now.

...=/ did i just say that?.. O.o.. ok.. hahaha... i hope i'll continue that way..



huuu... .. sam just left the house.. .. feel so empty all of a sudden...

haiz. well... cant online with him tonight. :(

.. always feel so.. ..not good. don like to be away from him ne.. huu...



i want us through this hurdle together..



mata









'Our Love will carry us through'

Why Always Sick :(

:( sick........ again. it doesnt seem long ago when i was sick and working in the shop hoping i might faint. ha.. ... =/
its terrible..
:(
ytd already feeling so terrible.. today, yeah.. no doubt. gotta work somemore. ytd slpt abit late. then few hours later, wakey, sneeze somemore.. :( then slp. .then time for work. too sick now to even feel my tiredness... hmm.. not say fever. . but do feel my body abit hotter than usual. but should be fine by tmr. i don get fever that easily.
today could've easily get a mc. but.. =/.. nah. i don like doing that..
still not well yet.. hopefully tonight will have an easy slp.. ..

hm.. middle night ne.. :( sigh.. was abit like.. yeah.. about some photos matter.. really afraid sammy will get very upset.. :( if me, even i say no prob.. of course would still upset.. .
so.. yeah.. thx to my fren's bloody comments. -_-
argh......

=/

that aside.. .

sick and cold.. body weak and fragile like a twig.. wishing theres sammy there to hold me warm and tight close as ever... ...resting into the warmest arms.. warmest sturdy chest.. ..isnt that the best place to reside on?.. heavenly rest.. ....

aites.. think i gotta shower soon. and im hoping after shower, my runny nose wont get worse. like ytd.

mata

Hate Flu!!

all i want is to let him have alll the happiness in the world.




huu.T_T im sick:(
throat already not feleing well.. ..*panting
then..
afer work, went home.. yeah good thign went home.. after shower.. feel worse.. -_-.. now im feeling so cold.
i hate being sick.. cant do much.. wanna enjoy my free time.. also listless. wanan make milkshake.. also cannot :(
huuu...........
wanna slp early if not for the game. huu.......
i just wanna enjoy my free time....

now what mostly im doing is breathign through my mouth, and having my eyes half close since like just now. forever. -_-
argh.............

why always sick man.. so darn irritating.. :(:(

was making my way towards the train.
then saw this couple. in front of me. the gf don let bf touch her. dunno what she blah3. about shoes or what. heel pain or what. then pinch him tight. then the guy run to guardian dunno buy things for her or what. -_-
dots.. really stupid couple.
bloody gf

sorry type like so rude ne.. huu.. cos don feel well now.. =(

hmm... so.. yeah. online throughout my work today..
im trying to force my body wake up now. was resting for abit.. just now. but.. arghhh,.. angry sia. already not much free time.
so. yeah.....
no way gonna slp that early. hmph-_-

hoping for my bro to come back.......

sigh....

so bored.
and sick.
and feel like wanan faint. -_-
eew... feeling.

haiz.....................................

.......

:((((((

oh yeah.. suddenly sam say he's so happy to have me. so happy to hear those kind of words huh..
ahh his car.. he's really happy ne. i mean. yeah. which guy wont. its like a man's thing or something.
just hope he;ll be careful in driving.

my fren's fiance got into an accident shortly after he got his bike. then shortly like a week after or something, his bro also kena the same accident. gosh.. really unfortunate..

hm.. k then.. thats all for now..
yeah for now.. if theres anything else, i'll yeah..

mata

Love Between 2

hmmm......... =/..

had a dinner with my fren. ..things aint looking up.. :( feels kinda sad for him...
its like.. i dunno man.. =/
i really pity my guy frens. i hope tonight he's gonna be fine..soon. cos.. yeah.. things just aint good for him tonight.. i was standing on the girl's side initially.. then even now i don think she's good no more. and he's like whoa! even i give up on her too. haha.
but give up wouldnt be quite the word i'll use. instead, i've got the rough idea of what kind of a unsure perosn she is. so.. theres no point in.. ya know.

hm.. its just really.. hm..... ...poor dude. seeing him almost going crazy. and now... hm... family step in.. ... =/ such a tactic.. a low one. whatever's her intention,.. sigh.. i don think they'll make it past tonight.. ..

i thought.. isnt it enough already? to love someone. its just between u and ur partner. why must other ppl step in too. ..=/
is it that complicated?. ... i supposed huh.. .:(

hm............

...
i've always think that.. to have someone who's belong to you, whom u could love wholeheartedly, ..its a very beautiful and nice thing to do... but... .. :( when some outside issues step in,.. and make things look all so complicated,... i wonder why..
isnt love just about the 2 persons.. in private?
hm.. i dunno.. perhaps some think not. if one could think that way.. isnt that great..
care nothing else but for the one who's in front of ya.. the only important thing that matters. just treasure it and hold on tight.
who knows if u make one stupid mistake of letting go becos of some outsider issues, u might regret for the rest of ur life.. much less talking about losing the one who's Part of Your Life.
and trust me. losing part of yourself aint happy at all. :(

hm.......

oh.. had a short day at work today.. finally gotten my energy back. not so tired.. but abit sleepy. cos wokey very early. yeha. .thanks to this month schedule..

hm........ was wondering today about working as partime in dec.. but really not sur eyet.. cos if i work, its gonna be pretty relaxing.. and i can earn extar cash for my trip.
but.... hm..........
theres reasons to yeah..

hm...... .... haven receive any msgs yet.. but... ...hmm... perhaps my fren's having a very serious talk right now.. ..
hm......

they say when a girl is having their monthly time, no man should be near them. cos they're very easily to be provoke at this time.. but.. i dunno man.. for me i don sense anything. is there anything wrong with me?? @.@ for me its like. just.. u knows.. few days will be gone.. but from what guys say.. its best for them to stay away if they want their life.
are girls really like that when they having that the of month? i do heard of. but i din know its that bad. lol. till my fren told me. hahah. then the girl will start to talk and think lots of negative stuffs.XD
well.. i don know about them. im just glad the way i am is.. ok for me. lol.

hm..........

my throat.. pain.. but.. yeah.. still craving for chips. ...oops... .. dunno wanna eat later anot.. ..
hm... abit sleepy.. ... coughing abit now.. got a feeling tmr will get worse. =/
but wont mc...
yeah...

mata

Love Spokes

ok.. i've been feeling so sleepy for the past few days.. and today finally get a chance to rest plenty, morning can sleepy late i think.. yet.. got so many phone calls thx to someone who wants a shift change with me. till me get wakey in mrg again!! argh.. wakey.. feeling sleepy.. head obviously not enough rest..

haiyo!!! I CANT WAIT TO COOK!!!! AND MAKE MILKSHAKE!!!! im so gonna do it soon man. hm... .. =(.. this month though.. i really cant spend on anything else again.. except for food. yeah.. love food. haha. my frens always say i eat like a monster. lol.

hm.... december........... ..... gosh i cant wait... i really3 cant wait.. ...

my fren was telling me today.. about how his girl din know he love her so much.. till he broke down and cry one day. she say she was shocked. and belive now that he truly lvoes her and she meant so much to him. she thought he wasnt that serious.. and.. well.. im glad half matter settles now. he still got more worries though.. =/ doing my best to help him.
yeah...... i remember the first time when sam cried for me... ... i think i was surprised too.. and like her, i truly belive he loves me more than i know.. and im more important than i think i am to him.
hey. men who cries is nothing to be ashame of. in fact. i lvoe it whne a man shed tears for a woman he love. it hard to explain.. but.. i truly belive that that is one of the most sincere and sweetest thing to do.. :)

and thx mum for the long hours of waiting with me... really appreciated...
ahhh.......... ... i dunno what to say.. but yes.. im grateful for the ppl who love me.. thank you..

sammy....... .... i miss sammy,,,,,, huu... ...
i cant wait.. i gotta be prepared.. and do my best when i get there. my special trip..

hm.... ..

my cousin's wedding dinner almost here... cant wait.. been so long since i attend one! :) hm... married huh.. ... all the best to them ne.. ...
my auntie's sons all married now. ..

hm.. tongiht gonna be slping late maybe? just don feel like slping early.. =/.. .hm...

well...
my throat's been irritating me too -_- argh. very uncomfy ne.

jaa mata ne :)

Huggie Them Tight

oh,.. yesterday ne.. 2 colleagues who's super late for stocktake, never say sorry. -_- is that rude? or what.

omg i am sooo sleepy!!!! huuu
hm.. i head theres a new schedule.. .. gosh.. please do not send another new one.. im fine with the now schedule already... pretty relaxing.. huu.. if they change, arghhhh -_-

today.. hm.. missing sammy lots... .... like those sudden lots kind.. .. then.. me went to this corner of my shop.. where there the teddy bears are.. me sat down on the floor.. huggie 2 of the teddys tightly.. head's down.. just close my eyes.. ...peaceful.. .not long before zuan step in with a shocking face. .'what are u doing with those teddy bears!?O.O ' lol.
..ha.. hm.. o well....
anyway that feels nice.. so.. yeah.. ..

today was doing the halloween decorations for party shop with izuan.. alot to be done.. but yeah cool. at least theres something to do. :) so.. hm... well.. hope its up to the standard of u know who.

tch... ...argh...... got things to settle man.. after shower and stuffs... hm.. i'd better rest while i can.

mata

Stocktake Final

hmm.. today morning. reach shop at 7.10am. -_- in teh end ppl with shop key late. cos they took MY key. thinking he'll arrive earlier. -_- dots. crazy. in teh end, cant wakey on time. causing me and another colleague to wait in vain. waste our itme. and most of all for waking up so early -_-
argh.. was so sleepy!!mansoor treated us breakfast.. :) then aftnoon, pizzas!! haha. was famished man. :P now having my curry chicken. ha. mum's best at that ;)

hm...
ok. .so.. stocktake.. erm.. abit better today.. cos.. yeah. more ppl working this time. so.. yup. faster. though it took us 11 hours to finish up whole thing. -_- ha. all tired man..

gosh. this morning.. half through sleep, woke up feeling all so shivering!! gosh! i was like. .wow.. so long since i experinced that kind of cold. shivering.. gotta rubbie myself to keep warm.. :( its hard.. so cold... cos especially.. .. =/ o well...
so.. yeah.. thats like. .so long never happen.. and.. .o well... ... so it kinda weird for me to be shivering all over again..
tonight im so gona make sure i cover well, and the fan is at its correct speed. ha

hm... ...
so.. yeah....
stocktake throughout... my energy got back. .so.. uh huh.. pretty good. i guess.. ..
but tonight gonna slp like a dead cat. hahah

hm... .... =/

well... tmr full again......

=/... seems liek some little thigns that happened,.. me not bloggy it down no more.. i wonder why.. .... perhaps... because.. ... im too tired from work to think and type?..
or simply wanna keep it to myself..

anyway glad today's finally over.
now should be around sammy's 1.45am.. i wonder whats he doing.. must be lying in bed again?.. ha.. with the all so kawaii blue hug blankie.. :)

...well.. one day to go.. gosh.... gonna busy again. no time to rest.
personal matter to settle.
geez.. im tired ne.. to do anything. i just wanna find a free nice day to cook. make a nice cuppa milkshake.. perhaps in teh next2 week's off. see how ne.. cant wait to try out my new receipes!! :D hehehehe ^^

........hm....... ..i really like cooking huh.. .. :) i really do.. and to cook for others, especially for love one, i think thats a wonderful thing to do. :) makes me feel excited and happy..
i want to be a great wife in future. one day perhaps? in anycase.. just wanna be really good and sweet to my future husband. massage him when he's tired from work.. cook up something nice to cheer him up.. at night make him feel all the more better.. hey doesnt that sound so blissful? ^^

well......
hm... think imma go shower soon.. rest well.. wash away all my fatique..
hm..

haii...

mata ne!

Happy Mooncake Festival

=/.. ..was just confiding in sammy.. ...today is mooncake festival.. union time for family.. .. bro not at home though.. theres work to be done.
im feeling terrible after dinner.. perhaps too tired i guess. not enough slp.. argh. zzzzzzzz.....
but.. yeah.. i just felt that... ..tch......... alot of dislike being alone at home..and stuff. and my bro.. i dunno.. =/ theres alot of feelings there i supposed....
i just wish i wasnt at home.. cos for so long i've never... ..u know.. then suddenly sam who's always been a part of my life,... now gone.. so its like.... ..its tough for me to get use to this feelings again.. =/
i cant belive its a sat today...
...sux

gosh im sooo slpy.. ..can fall aslp anytime now.. .
.....

then sam's fren.... =( sad sia.. so long together then broke off... and its cos of the girl. i thought usually men are the ones who want what so called 'space'. but its like.. she's still at the abit like.. immature age i guess.. perhaps they still wanan have fun.. explore the guys out there=.=
but who could know the truth but her.
but its such a pity though.. well.. all the best to the guy.. who knows.. if they might end up together again.. ..after cold war

sometimes me pity men too.. like.. =/.. haiyo
.....

hm... oh dear... my schedule is so packed till dunno when.. i wonder if i'll have the time to replenish my energy. gonna be tough for the early coming week... i don thnk i'll have the energy regain back fast. been going late nights.. my energy all gone.
shoot.. cant help it.. gotta nap abit.. i know still early. but.. yeah.. cant take it!! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

hm.. 3 hours of differenc.
between us.. .

ok........

oh.. mooncakes are fine. the strawberry flav is good:) yummy
hm..

oh ytd... ate cat and stuff.. surprise cakey!
cool

kk.. catn take it.. mata..

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Stupid Van

oh... theres this once, i was wearing a mini dress that night.. fetching a cab. then in fornt of cab theres this white van. with a few mens there. they thought i was waving at them! tehy got the cheek to stop tehir van in front of me. -_- geeez... good thing the cab also stop. so yup me fine. stupid men still can smile2 laugh2.. crazy.. anyhow stop. tsk.
..sory doesnt feel like blogging tonight.. theres things to do..

mata

-lets celebrate ppl!-





are matters really alrite with me?.. i need alot of attention.. and love and care.. i need concern.. lots.. i need to feel really secure.. ... :(

No Words To Be Said

=/.....

suddenly ytd night my energy gone.. ha. so... o well... sleepy now.. .. =/
hm.... ....

sam say got alot of other things to talk to me about.. ..
but me.. huu.. forgot my lappy.. was rushing outta the shop T_T
huu... but at least still can blog for abit here bah.. ...

but what makes me sad is.. :(
i dunno why he doesnt wish to speak to me.. i don know.. and i feel sad.. maybe he doesnt wanna speak to me anymore? maybe he feels really stranger with me already...
..i dunno.. feels weird he rejected my call.. so sad.. :..( then now leaving me full of worries of whats going on.. ..:(

sigh..

:(

its really so unlike him.. i thought.. he would love to speak to me. but i was wrong.

perhaps he's busying with repairing stuffs again.. dunno..
yeah.. ..
i wont.. disturb him..
maybe im sad for nothing.

mata