Final Day In Singapore

omg... heart already starting to pound hard.. as though.. felt as though time has reversed itself backwards.. back to the day when he left.. when im sending him off.... this kind of evening.. i hated it.. as though bringing me back the painful memories..
well.. only that this time, im the one leaving.. so.. still nervous though..
but this time its reuniting. :)

gosh.. why am i so freaking nervous now.. hahaha...

oh.. last night my bro gib me a farewell gift. i was surprised. really. never thought anyone would do that to me.
then this aftnoon, my mum too. brought me to ntuc , ask me if i like the perfume.. i was like.. what?? no need for farewell gift.. she say must.. then me get something else instead.. aw... its like.. huu.... as though im never gonna be back again.

well... she thought of treating me dinner.. but me meeting bro and redz later.. farewell eh.. ... hmm.......... o well... hahaha.. really feels like im not coming back no more. XD
i said that to my mum, and she's like 'touch wood!!'
lol. yeah.. i know.. i'll be fine.. plane will be alrite.. ppl will be alrite.. i'll be safe and sound.

hm... still a lil worry.. but i know.. its my first time.. but theres help all around.. so will be fine.. yeah.. ..
hm.. after i crossed the departure hall, its on my own now.
all the best!!

so.. redz called me in the morning.. saying he totally forgot im leaving already. hahaha.... so asked me for dinner. bro too. well.. gonna have our fav marche again ^^
hm...
somehow i feel weird about this whole thing.. as though theres some kinda bad vibe to it..
nah....
touch wood. will be fine. aites.. gotta get ready now.
when will i be blogging again. im not sure. but when im back, i sure will.

till then.

mata ne!!!!

One Day!!

wow... O.O .... wow4............... i cant believe this... finally.... omg............ the day is just ticking away.. one day to go.... *glups... gosh... im omw to sydney. hmm........ perhaps for that 3 weeks time.. ..maybe wont blog everyday.. or at all. anyway will see ne.

hm.. me getting sooo sleepy.. gues imma slp early after all eh.
finally.. tmr.. final touches at night.. then.. gonna fly off le..
hmm...... ok.. things will be fine..i hope. uh huh...
whats most important is i get there through sydney;s airport. the rest no matter what happen. i dont really care much.
just wanna get through it. yup.

hm.. not even 10pm yet... yeah.. perhaps shall slp early..

hm.......
ok.. alrite.. keeping my fingers crossed now.... all the best for tmr.

mata ne!!! soon

Friday Already Huh..

hmm.. ok.. so.. me have a break today ne... ....
din do nothing much about my luggage.. ha. .ytd was too tired XD
today.. hm.. its nighttime all of a suddden perhaps..

afternoon.. went out to collect my stuff... bought ingredient for dinner...
cooked... hm... then eat.. tehn basically whole day down nothing to do, was just watching animes :)
hm... yeah.. thats why nighttime is fast here eh..
gosh... ...its fri night already.. sunday is coming.... when sunday is over,.. theres only 4 hours left before im gone. theres a sudden feel of weirdness i've never felt before.. ha..

well... tmr gotta start getting ready again i guess.. sunday for final touches.. hm.... o well.......

abit tired bah i guess... need water..
perhaps head to bed early today?.. hm...

sometimes its scary when things are finally so near...
-but isnt this what u've been waiting for?-

mata

Luggage Tough Time

huu..... my back hurts sooo much.... T_T
haiyo... didnt expect packing luggage is such a hassle..=.=(cos me first time pack one..and didnt know how to). argh............
pissing me off for hours. gosh....
lets see... 5hours i guess? since i try to figure out what to bring, and how to carry it. gosh.. its sooo darn heavy.. T_T really cant lift up above my ankle huu.. o well... then sam helped me out.. good thing.. phew..

gotta move forward now. what to do. gonna be alone in the airport. anyway.. help should be around. ne? haiz... just hope everything goes well..

hmm... well... dunno what clothes to bring.. me just bring along something thats not gonna make me feel that hot during summer time. so yup... hm..

hmm.............. it all feels so near now... yet so... unknown..and... abit.. uncertain to that feeling.

nah..... me just gonna look forward to monday i guess.. hm.. more of... sunday... yeah...
this week is coming to an end... gosh... it feels as though im about to head for lala land..

hm.... well2.... just get this through..

haiyo.. bloody hell... my whole back hurts.. T_T
so tired..
whole body tiredT.T'

nvm.. tmr.. better day ne..!!

mata ne

He Say He's Happy! =D

okok.. will make this a short one. so late already.. gotta slp soon.. my back is killing me. .ah.. been sitting for too long..

just celebrated my bro's birthday. redz gib him a surprise one. hahah... then we had a small cakey..
hm.. yeah.. haha.. my bro off..but never go anywhere.. aw.. he so poor thing but then no choice we gotta wait till redz is here with the cake mah.. so we never get him any cake.. hope he din feel too sad..

so yup.. at the strike of midnight, we sang birthday song together for him. :)
he opened up the pressies.. ha.. me really glad he like the pressy me bought for him. he have this shocked funny face me captured in my phone just now when he opened up my pressy :PXD
yeah.. me played the beginning part for abit while he shower.. wow.. couldnt leave the game.. T_T hahaha.....
sad sia. .cannot play.. hope he enjoy playing bah ne. heh.

hm.. gonna start packing up my bag already..
had a dream in morning.. that the shop me wanna get a pressy from, closed down already. lol.. then feel so disappointed and sadXD. but good thing its only a dream :P phew....
yeah.. then finally me get all pressy... cool :) only worry is the safety of it. hahaha...

ok... so... hm..

oh! today ne.. sam say he;'s happy. ^^ aw.. love it when he say that hehe. cos me tell him a private thing..
then... he say he's so happy again. cos me tell him gonna head for shower. then he thought of something, and his heart actually skipped a beat!! XD hehe... kawaii :)
anyway.. yeah.. glad so he;s happy :) thats important to me too.

hm...
ok.. gtg... sleepy already... haiyo... spine hurts ne..
hm.. melbourne huh... o well..

mata ne

last Min Pressy Shopping! =x

whoa..... sooo last min.. XD
gonna be shopping for sasm's parents tmr. didnt know its her birthday till now! omg.. was wreckign my head trying to think of what to get for them.
its so... wow.. i didnt know this can be so nerve wrecking. XD
im feelign so nervous. hahaha...
anyway, tmr gonna shop around for one. all the best ne, wish i can get something nice :)
cant wait for tmr. :)

ah.. bro's presents settled..
hm....
lets see..
maybe tmr night celebrating his birthday.. oh.. then..
today mum say wanna make steamboat. cos can celebrate 2 occasions mah. one is my bro's birthday. another is me heading overseas. so yup.. me had round one. later round 2 for the spicy one when bro's back.
hahah.. yeah. steamboat.. almost always have 2 rounds XD

i like it even when theres differences between me and my love one,.. i can stand in another point and look. and try it. because its different. so makes me all the more wanna try it out. to see whats so great to him about it. yeah.. i do liek to try out new things. and that, makes me wanna do so. do it, try it. makes me wanna try new stuffs out :) cool.
i belive in fair and square sometimes. not everything gotta be similar to be perfect.
a lil difference can make things interesting too ^^. spice up the life. ;)

hmm...... ok.. so.. all the best for tmr ne ^^ exciting!

mata ne

Marche Restaurant

hmmm..... ok.. so today is monday... wow.. out in town really2 seems like a weekend to me. haha.. u should;ve sene teh crowd man!! its like a sat or sunday. cool for a monday :)
well.. its nice staying at home today actually..
but suddenly redz called sooo last min asking to meet him now in town. cos yeah.. he's already on his way.. and didnt wanan go back home cos so sudden his manager called to say he no need to work for today.
anyway, so yeah.. last min, managed to rush out.. and yup.. we shopped for bro's b'day pressy. yeah.. me bought it. yay... finally settle. then,, sigh.. thought of my bro mentioned a expensive bag the other day! haiz.. too late.. but yeah.. =/ o well.. nvm bah... me last min tot of that.. but already bought his pressy.=/
o well.. ..

xmas.. gosh.. xmas pressy... ahh.. .whatever.. don wanna think of that first. wonder should i be getting it. haiyo..
hm...
gosh.. less than a week to go.. suddenly everything seems so fast...
hm..

oh.. did i mentioned? erm.. i dont think so right.. i think its last night dream.. i dreamt of me and a fren or who(couldnt remember) trying to hide from this ghost. its pretty frightening the atmosphere and all..
then suddenly the ghost found me. and.. guess what=.=.
the frightening ghost im running away from, is me.
then my dream ends there.. and on to another.. with abit nicer one.
theres so much dreams been going on.. wow... i wonder whats up with the occasion. ha.

gosh. there goes my left shoulder again.. hurting... my muscles there.. after typing for a period of tiem, it'll get ouchie... last night asked my bro to massage for me.. (so wish its sammy to do that.. )
yeah cos couldnt take the pain.

hm.. eh.. what else.. oh yeah.. me really3 gotta get down to business maybe tmr. haha.. .yeah.. gotta note what to do or bring.. or blah3 what..

*ouchie.... my shoulder.. :(

hm... what else.. oh... yeah.. hahaha.... totally forgot my bro's bday is near. XD
thast why last min gotta buy pressy for him haha..

omg.. theres this restaurant from switzerland called marche. omg.... the palce is sooo lovely!!!! its so homely country feel. wow :) really love the place:)
food's not bad. a very nice new concept :) cool its great. would sooo love to go again.

hm..........

u know... years back, when i didnt have my job, and,.. well... life seems more free for me,.. i always buy his pressy way in advance. cos will get so excited.then.. yeah..
but i realised.. well.. see.. now that we have a life,.. job.. frens.. blah3...
hm... life gets busier... ppl tend to forget one another sometimes.. in some ways.. hm...
how to put this... hm.. yeah.. they're there u know.. but still... the effort.. hm.. i dunno how to put it..
ha.. thinking back.. the pressy i prepared for sammy, took over a year XD. o well.. but all work's worth it.
totally.. its priceless... precious.. and reminds us of the little happy things in life the moments.. not to be forgotten..

hm... what else... hm... haha.. abit sleepy le..

hm................. me always arrive so early...even though redzuan supposed to arrive first, .. but me end up still.. .hahaha... wait for a couple of mins only.. so alrite bah=/ ha. .why ar.. me always arrive so early XD lol

u know.. its always sooo different to talk to a person through voice.. than through msn. the difference is huge... really...
totally diff from what i expect to be..
hm....
the tech world is dead. in a way. though humanity way..perhaps..

haiyo.. dont wan type already.. me wanna wrap bro's pressy. hahaha...

mata ne!!

A Talk Needed

=/ hmm...................

u know... whatever we do,.. or whatever i do.... most of the times,.. usually i'll think of whats gonna happen in the future first.hmm... i dunno.. dunno how or where to start this.. =/

hmmmm.,.... u know. i think... hm.. for the holdiay im heading to,.. in about a week's time,... its not just.. yeah.. even though i wish its really gonna be a woe free holiday... ha.. i dunno.. i thought of u know. its the best time to settle whatever need to settle before its too late.
i dont like the feeling of unsureness. its weird.

ha.. wow... this is a really difficult topic to say here.. for me.
haha.. challenging!!XD lol

well anyway, gonna be prepared. XD haha... o well...
what to do. somehow.. i guess i need an answer thats for sure. even though the truth might not be.. hm...
nah.. dunno how to explain ne. ha.. o well................

its a lil downside to it.. but i'll try not to let it affect me.

hm... today.. theres tv show.. so aftnoon watch.. hm... then.. play game.. then online... the bath..
now online again as usual.. ha. watching abit of tv here and there...boring sunday. ha.. cant belive its sunday.

hm.... oh gosh.. had sooo many dreams again.. geez.. sickening. =/ its not sweetdreams for sure. dunno why =/
not say really nightmares.. but its abit frightening and, well, just consider it as bad dreams.
argh,,, how will it be tonight. .
abit sleepy now.. but.. dunno.. what time will be slping.. hm.. will try to slp early bah.. see how.. =/

k.. settle one matter, then head to slp. maybe wait fo bro home first bah. wonder if redz would be here tonight.. hm.. should be i guess.

haiz...
yawn...

mata

Marina Barrage

gosh... i think i'd caught abit of cold there... =/ resting abit now.... what a sat... huu.. and miss sam alot.. guess.. tmr can have alil more talk with him ne..
oh yeah.. i say out there... me went to marina barrage. the cold wind was sooo strong.. its sooo beautiful.. i never knew theres such a palce existed. :) its really3 nice.. how nice if im there with the one i love.. ..aw..
anyway, yeah.. alot of ppl flying kites.. beautiful sight.. :) the views.. beautiful too.. then of course.. best part is the fountains!!!!!!!! whoa!!! its supposed to be a recycle water.. erm.. place thingy. so u wont see any dustbins around at all. hahaha.
anyway, its really beautiful.. the fountains were amazing. me and 2 long time no see frens, walk around the fountains. its so fun. my cousin;s bride also too their bridal photo there. no wonder that time i saw her pic.. and wondering how in the name of world can she shoot a pic in the fountan without letting the water drip on her. now i know why. hahahha.... me also walked through the fountain. XD! sounds amazing eh;) yeah.. its really nice. fun place.

the place is called 'water playground'. haha.. really nice to walk around. best fountain i've walked so far. yup.

and of course... lol. i wont forget to get a souvenir before walking away. :P:P
hahaha.... yeah.. bought a lil something:) hehe.. love it. :)
cute^^

hm... yeah... really never heard of this place.... if sam is here, i'll try to bring him there. lol. though me by then would sure forgotten how to goXD!
haha.
anyway, its worth a try:)

when we head back to the train, the seats are quite empty. theres 2 ladies walk in. hm... think should be around my age. one is chinese girl. the other, looks like she's mixed blood.
anyway, they were choosing seats. in the train. then the chinese girls about to sit down, when te other girl say sit at the 'priority seats'. which are meant for the needy ppl.
the chinese gal say 'dont wan.. wait must give up seats u know..'
then the mixed blood girl say 'NO NEED LA'.
-_-.....................
she is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo RUDE. very very bad girl she is. how could she say such a thing! so bossy. and the chinese girl actually heed her advice -_-. o well.. what to do.. some girls are so bossy. wan everyone to go her way. -_-

hm... now feeling cold....
...=/ not helping.. my fren's words.. always tell me about LDR about their frens.. blah3... then always bad news. :( huu.... im scared.. and sad.. sigh... its not helping me to build more confidence.. but they didnt mean it i know.. ..they're just telling me what happen to their frens thats all.. ..o well..

hm.. ok then.. i shall take my rest in abit.
last night.. tried to slp early.. but ended up awoken by someone knocking on the house door.. sigh. but tehn slpt back soon after. erm kinda ha. so yeah.. tonight would be easy slp i guess. kinda tired too.

sam must be slping so soundly now.. :) aw... hope he enjoyed his day.. been a long day for him..

goodnight peeps ;)

oh btw, wanted to upload some pics of the marina barrage outing.. but.. hahaha.... u know.. its troublesome to do that XD soo.... :P nah.. hehe. will upload to my facebook only i guess. XD

mata ne!!

Make Good Use OF LIfe

omg... was reading through this mag just now, then saw this woman. its about hairstyle of stars. i thought for sure this woman is paula abdul. i took a few longgg looks u know. thinking.. ok.. for her age, it looks nice on her.. younger hairstyle..

then i was about to flip the page, when i read the name of that woman. she is none other than mischa barton who stars in the OC. omgggggggggggggg.... she look sooooooooooo OLD...!!!!!! O.O!! i was so shocked!!! yes.. i heard about her drugs abuse.. she took alot. .blah3.. she look very ugly now..but.. even with the make up and new hair on, omg. she look like old woman. :( so poor thing. :(

sigh.. see.. what drugs can do to a person. but yeah. .was shocked too when news of her with drugs came out. she's young.. pretty and rich.. has a great mum.. look at what happen to her now.
=/ well.. i supposed.. alot and almost all of these young women nowadays, doesnt even cherish their life.. and wasted so much youth and time on thigns that are bad. smoking.. drugs.. glues.. blah3.... haiz. those money can save ppl's life. yet still dont cherish. =/

oh.. today soooo disappointed and frustrated. was supposed to meet a fren of mine, then heard she's heading to jb last night and meet bf up. so me called a 2nd time just to confirm. she still say okok. confirm meet up. then today,. gosh! never call, neevr reply anything. i waited there like a fool. sometimes i cant help but think why am i always always waiting for ppl!! always waiting and waiting.. argh.......

sigh.. anyway.. got my hair done.. =/ hmm...

oh.. then wanted to cook.. haiyo.. but couldnt find the meat i wan. they didnt sell it. -_-argh. so o well... nvm bah..

hm.. k.. just some final touches.. and i can pack my bag.. gosh.. finally.. things all about to be done.

hm... =/ i think by end of week me wont get to talk with sam much..

o well what to do ne.. next week will be a better one. excitements shall unfold itself more... :)

omg im famished!!

mata!!

Black Xmas Tree

i was out today... actually really didnt feel like heading out at all.. =/ but body's like kinda aching.. anyway sam wont be online for the day.. as in be able to chat or anything.. so.. yeah =/ staying at home seens so boring for today. so.. decieded to head out for a walk anyway.
hm... ok.. just walk2.. see... nothing much.. =/ bought some travel essentials.. hm.. yeah. thats about it.

gosh.. gonna sleep in abit. sigh.. i really hate sleeping time nowadays. :(
last night.. was ok... but... well.. stil lhaving some weird feelings =/
i awoke in the middle of the night, LOL!!! thinking to myself, 'shoot!! why! why let me wakey in the middle of the NIGHTime! and its not even morning yet T_T' huu....
yeah.. then the door give out crepting sounds.. then.. i remember the couple of times(yes i wakey more than once-_- )when i wakey, i keep looking at my door. LOL dunno why! XD like blur2 wakey.. sleepy eyes.. loook at it the first thing me wakey. thenn its dark.. then i keep seeing this black xmas tree.
i wanna check out my bro's book about dreams. but i don wanna freak out or anythign .so refrained from doing so. but yeah his book is 80% accurate i gotta say.

hm.. so. yeah.. as i was saying... this black xmas tree.. its more of the feeling.. of. .the line between dream land and reality.
i cant even tell if im in dream, or in my real home. its like.. weird... but the times me wakey in middle of night and said that line, its true. hahaha... cos im so angry to wakey at night:P haha. so i remember. the tree too. i keep waking and seeign it at my door. i wonder if thats dream too. anyway i dont care.
the earlier i sleep, the faster daylight comes for me.
so.. yup. anyway i;ve been feeling sleepy all time round. i wonder why.
oh gosh...
what would i do tonight.. cant wait to get the night time over with. i just hate it when im wakey in the middle of my sleep!!! middle of night somemore. huuuu sianz.

oh, i dreamt that sam actually came to fetch me from singapore, to sydney. LOL. i was like so surprised! hahaah... so nice ar.. :P
well. i guess thats the only nice dream for the night.
i just never get to sleep that comfortably. =/ sigh

so... ok.... hm..
tmr.. i think might be a lil bit more exciting.
only down side is i wont get to chat with him lots again. =/ well.. i gotta get used to it. what to do.

mata

The Days Are Near =)

omg!... i looked at the date, and i had a shocked! today is 9th already! soon tmr is 10th.. then.. gosh.. its about 11 days before im on my way!! O.O wow.. this is really getting nearer huh. *glups .. gosh.. im like.. wow.. flabberghasted. okok.. i gotta start thinking of what to bring or whatsoever eh. hm..
yup.. omg.. this is so wow. XD

hm.. last night. .slept pretty late. hm.. its very very squeezy -_- cos i was slping with my bro and redz in the same room. haiyo. nope. didnt sleep that well. but at least no nightmares. YET, alot of dreams i had. omg. ha.. cant remember. 'cept the last one where everyone is in my dream. mum..redz.. yeah even zuan and my cousins. its abit like cny there.. then got abit pissed at my mum cos she said something. hahaha.. she look sooo beautiful in my drean. with thick make up and stuff XD!!
anyway, its weird dreams yeah.

hm.. well.. tonight i shall be slping as per normal.. hm.. should be alrite i guess. today even though still a lil sleepy, yet i felt better than ytd. still have abit of energy now :)
and feels safer to head for bed :) no worries bah. ha.
hm..
today never really get a chance to tlak to sammy much. but well..
... gosh... my heart is so totally stick to him now. since dunno when..
isnt that a beautiful thing?.. *blush

u know.. sometimes seeing my frens or fren's frens.. they are kissing in photos and stuffs.. i really think that is such a sweetttttt thing to do :) like i look at those pics, and my memories brought back the past. hah... o well.........
..

hm.. that night.. i awoke suddenly.. was hesitating whether i should msg sam. then i did. and he's off to bed like i am. cos his comp never off properly XD ha.. yeah.. i wonder how many time sne.. if i ever did hesitate and never send him a msg when i awoke in the middle of the night,.. and he himself is awake too.....
o well... i love such coincidence sometimes :) as though our hearts beats (together) in one.

hmm..... oh.. just now me done with cooking. eat.. tehn go bath.. now all so smooth and feeling comfy.. but missing one very important person here.
=/ o well.. wouldnt it be perfect if he were to be here and give me a tight hug from behind now? :) ha...
i miss him so much...

ah.. dinner's aint bad.. but bro not gponna be home for dinner. too bad :P he's gonna missed out my stuff. hahaha... unless he taste it when he's back. :P

hm.... haiyo.. nowadays only feel like hitting in early.. and see another sunshine there...
i hope tonight will be a good night:) slp ^^.

ah... craving for chocolates now.. haha...

hm... weird.. im wondering if i'd missed out saying anything... =/ i think i did.. but .i dunno. .hm.. what ar... ... =/ well... nvm.

gosh.. XD! the days are near!! my heart is beating faster now.. whoa...

mata ne.

Terrible, Horrible

its a very lazy day today.... =(
sigh.. its horrible!! terrible!!!
right since from the beginning!! omg..
its always like that.. when theres nothing happen.. nothing will. for a period of time. then when it happens, everything all at one shot comes to u. bang3!
gosh.. couldnt take it. =/

i didnt have any nightmares for long time.. kinda..i think. then last night, and today's nap,.. gosh.. all shooting out to me. the nap's one is hm.. =/ bad.. but not that bad as those in the night. sigh.....................

its soo darning irritating. it just woke me up. didnt have the mood to slp anymore. :(
then i just recalled. something i couldnt even figure out whats that. the reason why i recalled only now is because it was soo short! and that night i presume that it was Real. it felt so real.. i think i even rememebr opening my eyes. O.O omg.
then now i think,.. no it cant be.

i had this very very real feeling of someone brushing my hair from my front to the back.. twice. i thought i open my eyes..(i used the word 'thought' cos i dun wanna be sure) then think to myself.. gotta tell sam that someone is strocking my hair like how he always do to me.. or i thought i even felt it was him.. or thinking it was him. i felt happy then. .cos it felt like him. so i went back to slp happily and comfortably. it felt so nice. cos it's strocking so gently at my hair..

so.. in the late evening which is now,.. i just remembered the whole thing. and its abit freaky to me.. sigh.. :( i don wanna head for bed tonight :(

in anycase, its been a horrible2 day. :(
i just wanna slack at home don wanna go anywhere.
even my fren who's feeling down, asked me out. but i declined. =/ dont care. today just wanna stay home.

sigh.. tch feeling terrible now..
perhaps im thirsty? i dunno..
whole day feel sooo sleepy. just wanns keep slping.

=/hm.. o well....... ........

nah.. i guess as long as the hair thing dream or whatevr that is, dont appear again, i'll be fine.
and no more nightmares. argh..

hm.. come to think of it... i wonder whats the problem with sam's msn and mine. why couldnt i receive his. maybe my fren's right. yahoo is better. i dunno.
anyway i wonder if thats been happening ever since he's gone. if so,... then wouldnt i... be that one for nothing??? O.O -_-.................. im so gonna kill this thing one day. grrr......

hm.. even my body not feeling well.. thats why extra bad day today. :(
last thing i need, is my fren calling me darlin outta the blue in frenster -_- arghhhh
why cant ppl be more considerate. tch. what to do. the ppl here think otherwise. im ok. but. just don wan sammy get the wrong idea. =(

sigh...
do u think its gonna be another 12 hours before i head for bed?.. hm.. or perhaps.. i;ll have a movie marathon tonight. oh yes... hm...
ha.. sound so pathetic eh=/ ? alone watching.. o well....
but.. yeah. .good idea. never try that out before.. maybe i shall .but... :( only wishing sammy is here.... .. but then again, alot of movies he wont watch. ha
cos my bro's dvd.. haiyo.. haha... not my taste either :P

=/hm...
i just need to learn to let go of some=/ hm... how to say ar.. i dunno.. some issues?
its bad for life to continue like this.. =/
hm.. .somemore... =. =sigh.. talking to my bro ar.. like a stranger now..
its really depressing.
yeah i know.. i have sammy.. but sometimes life is so tough..
u gotta need something to hang on to sometimes..

need alot of love... alot of care...
hm.. o well... yeah.. understanding..

hm.... gosh.. i dont think i have any appetite for any dinner :(
...

which reminds me.. haiyo!! my bro's hone. should;ve cook today!!:( but.. yeah.. not much in a good health to cook anyway..

aw.. thats so Sweet of him to send a miss u and love u msg outta the blue :P cute :)

mata

-the dream freaks me out. it felt so real. As though its real. I dunno-

2 Malls

ahh.......
i really miss the feeling of being with the person u love everyday.. u go everywhere with each other.. u sleep together.. wake up together.. kissy each otehr even haven brush teeth yet.. hungry together.. eat together.. have fun together.. sometimes cry together.. then.. also laugh together.. look at each other.. having silly moments together..
.. =/ haizzzzzzzz
i miss those days back...
its like theres someone so close to live with.. ..
im glad i cherished those days back then..
yeah.. no regrets.. just that.. only regrets is it did'nt last.

perhaps in future when im married eh. ha. that'll be the life then i supposed.
but.. married life huh.. i wonder how ne.. nah.. wont think about that now.. thought of it cos my mum was talking about my cousins who got married.. and how the wife ignored him when they talking cos they had a fight..
.. =/
i hate that.
its so stupid. why cant ppl love each other everyday. life is too short for all these fightings with the one u love. :(

hm.. out for abit today cos sammy's out. .wanna check out the new mall.. hm.. it turns out that theres 2 part. haha. the one we went to its a old place.. we been there. the other, haven open yet. cant wait to check it out when it's open.

hm... today weather is fine :)
hm.. but been raining for past few days.. dec ar. .what to do. but its kinda nice too.

hm... gosh.. its 2 weeks to come.. why am i getting nervous now. =/
gosh.. i think its becos of the custom part. =/
hm.. been dreaming of luggages.. airport.. thigns like that for dasy now =/ gosh.
i hope thigns would be that easy really

sigh... =/ my dad upset me just now. what to do.. :(
sianz..
=/ i know.. some hobbies cant be changed... but.. sigh..
its so upsetting..
i gotta be hardhearted when i need to. i gotta protect myself too. especially from getting hurt. emotionally hurt.
=/ o well..
hm...........
...
then ar... ...
yeah.. now feel much better.. =/

sigh.... but it still can be hurtful..

o well... :(

hm.................. yeah. my bro's not coming back home tonight.. ...
hm.. i guess.. .nice to head for bed early again huh.. .. hm..
well.. its just kinda lonely to watch vcd outside.. abit sianz.. i dun like :(
yeah.. kinda sleepy anyway.. slept for so long..today. yet.. yeah. still sleepy.
hm.. hope can wakey late ba. though.. got a feeling will be early.
hm..
=/
o well............
just sleep bah.. away with the boring day...
i wonder if tmr my bro could be off...
sometimes i feel as though im..................

....mata

Sleepy Still

tch... still wondering................ how to put my words across more unseemingly harmless next time.. :(
haiz.. feel sad and bad sia. so heartpain.
perhaps the way i conver aint good enough yet. how can i prevent it. =/ tch.. so freaking irritating u know, like. its such a stupid mistake that can hurt ppl unknowingly and unintentionally.

haiyo... so sleepy now.. =.=
oh yeah.. slept at 5am plus... thats why bad.. had a nap.. but still feeling so sleepy now.
*yawn..

i wonder whats the future like with sam huh.. yeah.. the future... seems so far fetched.. ..
haiz... why does it have to be so long and far away and with the time ticking away too..
ticking away those precious time...... ...

i guess at least for the next 3 years. my life wont be changing much. except i wanna try out for the new lesson. i hope i can pull it through. its all on my interest based. i love it, so why not get a better understanding of it.
hm.. will take a shot i guess =/

sam is playing game now.............. while waiting, hmm.. yeah.. dunno.. lol. just type my bloggy.. online.. find thigns do... so boring and sleepy i can fall aslp.. but don wan!!
imma watch movie later. ha. keep watching over and over again. but me abit scared wil fall aslp. XD if bro is back then i watch ba=/ o well......

haiyo.. miss sammy so much these days... =./ sigh.
but also cos of these days.. i think.. o well.. i realized how much more important i am to him...

yawn.......... soooo sleepy..... wonder if i can watch the whole movie through. if bro there perhaps i can.. but now really feel like going to bed. ha.

hm.. today basically just online(as always=.= ) .. er.. help mum cook abit.. hm..
slp abit.. haiyo.. just online3 ba.. thats why hoping to catch a movie.

...hiayooooooooooo!!!! boring sia now.. so sleepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :(:( huu............

my fren say samis a very lucky man to have me. o well.. i think its the other way round.

mata

What A Quiet Sat?

shoot........ so upsetting... bought a long waited branded bra for teh first time in my life,.......................... omg............. why!!!!!!!!!!! why should i ever listen to the sales assistant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i bought the size B cos of her advice.; and yet,........... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its too small!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im sooo angry!!!! its bloody darn expensive, and yet i bought the smaller size!!! why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HUU............... idiot sia the sales assistant!!!! huu............ T_T.......................
can wear still.............. but still too small............
huu........
idiot sia.. huu.. stupid sales assostant...
causes me to buy a wrong bra size T_T............

..today ne... was out with mum to a new shopping mall. and cos of sam, i got to know another new mall i never heard of. cant wait to go there.

..sammy is attending a fren's birthday party... ..well.. im happy for him.. cos he's been having bad days.. and finally.. yeah........... ...he can get to have some fun.. ..

i know alot of ppl must be there.. so. yeah...
cos im like.. waiting for his reply for hourssssssss......
yeah... i dont get it.. its like im wondering what is happening.. huh?

he asked me to msg alot... so did i ask him to. but i totally understand if he can't do that. cos its a fun party. with lots of frens ard.
but still.......... ......

...................................

why is my phone so quiet today.

its totally Freaking quiet today.

so.. what is happening now......

i feel as though imma explode right now. u have no idea of how that feels.

..
argh.

skip it.

.....

then i realised.. bad reception huh.. o well................

.. sometimes.. ... sigh.. things cant be helped... ... we apart ar.. so.. yeah. probs occurred sometimes. .. its ok.. =/

me and mum went to new mall... aka city square mall.
then head to mustafa.
its quite ok.. 'cept that y mind's keep on worrying about somethign else. =/
me manage to find some good sauces, and drinks. cool.

.......

sigh

freaking sat dude..

shoot.. me walk across.. a man look at me next to me as he was walking past.. he look so directly with his head turns. d*rn.. stupid that guy. argh. i dont wan nobody to look at me except.................

..im soooooo gonna wait for sammy to be back home safely. =)

..hm.. if in my case.. i never msg at all....... if reception is bad...... he would be so heartbroken. and so would I.

,.bad reception huh ... =/

..im sooo slpy.. but no... not gonna slp till sammy is back home safely.. yup;..

he sounded so cold though.. just now.. .. =/ o well..............................

i just want him to focus on me.. so he can be happier without having to think about other upsetting matters.

i hope he had a fun time tonight and forget about the unhappy days or his family.. whatever causes him to be so upset. i want him to be happy.

i hope he's happy at the party now =/

u have no idea........ ... how weird msgs can be sometimes..

u msg.. it can only bring to another meaning IF being read by someone else..

the same thign goes towards msn too....

u trying to sound like peaceful and nice.. but it appears to be mean and sarcastic.

u trying to say A, it turns out to be B to someone else.

how MISLEADING. :(

..

miscommunications............. .......... :( how hurtful is that, how misleading it can be.....

sigh.. :( seems like he's thinking im saying some bad stuffs just now..

.. :( haiz

i hope sam is fine now... =/ i want to be the one who love him the most.

i do not know how his family treated him like.. but........

yeah.. the least i can do is to send my love to him.. he's such a great person.. u have no idea..

mata

-he sweared he wont ever get angry at me. -

-me too.. i wont ever get mad at him-

-u have no idea how heartbroken she is when she msg him that... ..........-

Do My Best Give Him SMILES :)

gosh.. i couldnt belive it.. remember that time i mentioned working with this 16yrs old innocent looking girl who deos everything? smoke.. club.. drinks.. whatever. u name it, she tried it.

well, i thought she's a really nice ok girl. but i couldnt've been far more further from the truth.

from izuan's side, i heard she said things like this of what i taught her on her first day of work.



theres customets around. zuan and manager talking. she's standing at the counter. zuan say why u never serve customers? she say ' pauline say dont have to serve. just stand behind the counter will do.'' OMG. i swear i never said those words ever!!! zuan then say to her u think this is 7-11 ar?? go serve them.



omg........ this girl.. typical chinese ah lian. i was sooooooooooooo utterly wrong about her!!!! what a argh!!!!! gosh!!! her looks are soooooooooooooo deceiving!!! i swear.. ppl's look can be sooooooooooooo deceiving. be it the person is innocent looking, cutest girl ever, sweetest beautiful girl ever, if the heart like that, omg... i dunno what to say. i pity her bf for having such a girl. geez!!!!

Looks CAN be deceiving. good thing i dont liek ppl cos of looks. but becos of personality. gosh.... cant belive this girl!! so maddening. good thing me no longer working there. yeah.. she knows.. thats why dare to push the blame to me!! argh!



dunno care la..

anyway the ppl i trust, i dont wanan say how many, nor who, but its certainly can count with just only one hand. thats all.

no matter how nice a fren is to u, how long u;ve been together, i dont trust those relationships. espicially when.. hm.. its really difficult to explain. u gotta go with ur intuition to tell u right or wrong. some ppl are 'blind'. they cant tell, and ended up hurting tehmself with the word trust.

well,.. lets just say... most humans wouldnt care less if they chooses somethign they want or need over ur frenship.



oh... last night.. was talking halfway.. then.. ha.. sam ask me to shut up. i dislike those words. really. come to think of it.., its kinda funny. cos i paused there.. eyes and mouth open.. wondering was that a dream? what did i just heard??? i ponder there for a couple of good secs man. ha.. then i was like.. quiet. cos he ask me to shut up.

but i understand he didnt mean it at all. NOT at all. so i dont blame him or upset at him.. just feels.. yeah.. kidna sad cos those words coming from him..to me.

he thought i was gonna talk some dirty freaky stuffs.. but i was talking halfway.. and actually wanna talk about how afraid i was of the darkness to crept into the kitchen. not becos of those scary thingys... so yup.. it was the Darkness i was trying to say.. but he thought... ..o well... yeah i wont put it to heart.. he didnt mean it. time to time our words tend to get out at the wrong time, or just simpkly used the wrong words to describe how we felt. so yup..



but.. wow... remember last night i talked about how i can guess whats he trying to say by the judge of his tones? well... ..i dunno if its the same thing about him...

..its like.. he can actually tell over the phone whether im crying or not. and.. .. i dunno.. i dont think its that obvious/?.. i dunno.. i was taken aback i have to say. never see that coming.

i didnt think he would know it so well.. but then again yeah.. ... i;ve always been with him. .cry in front of him so much some more. ..ha..

...

...hmm............ what would i do without...........



yeah.. i know his temper well.

hm... u know... im really upset that i cant be there for him as in person when he's having such bad days.. :( and his birthday.. i cant attend.. i've always felt so bad..... yeah.. really... u have no idea how i wish i could celebrate this special day with him.. plus valentine's day too..

well..

he told me he had a very bad day.. of course i dont feel good too.. i know how he and his family thingy going on.. and.. yeah.. its difficult for him to explain..(yeah.. in the end he couldnt say it out..) so.. yeah.. its ok.. i dont force him.. since he couldn't.. let it be.. if one day he ever feels like saying, he will... if i keep asking,.. it'll only make him focus more on the bad day. and i dont want that. i want him to smile over the phone, and be happy. happy, then forget bad day.

then focus when i make him smile.



i feel closer to him each time he shares with me stuffs like that. i dont mind. good, bad, unhappy, anger, even if lashes out at me, sadness.. .yeah.. i think this kind of feelings from him,.. through him,.. then letting me know through his consent,.. i think thats important.. yeah.. i really do feel closer and closer.. though already close..

well, one can never get too close. we'll always have new doors open for us.. to see each other, and get in touch with. and only more and more happier things will come along.

yeah.. i wish for nothing but better days ahead for him...

he sad.. me sad too... but.. well.. it seems like.. his side there aint getting better since little.. and well...

... i wish i could help him lots....

im doing what i can.. keeping his smiles alive everyday..



Making sure he get every bits of happiness from me.



ha.. asked sam a funny question today. so random!! XD what are his fav drinks i asked :P hahaha... i just wanna make sure my guess is right. as im quite confident. XD sooo random eh?? hohohoho... :PXD



ah.. early morning wakey.. gosh.. then end up waiting.. -_-

met raz up and izuan too. we gib izuan his pressy. then eat at fish and co.

then head to p.p. finally found what i wanted. hm.. then head to meet bro and redz up. they ended up late too. -_-

why my life seems to revolved around waiting for ppl?????



then yeah.. we walk aroound a new mall. 313 somerset. hm.......... okok.. alot of same shops.. but theres this special restaurant i had my eyes on ;)

its called 'flying chillies'

thai restaurant. almost get ot eat there.. but cos of prok meat in one or more of the dishes, we cant go. cos redz's there.



hm.. then we head to ps. gosh. .long walk..

then me go into this shop.. soon after, bro came in and say that redz went back first.

then.. me sense something;s wrong.. then indeed im right. .redz say he not in a good mood.. say he going back first.. =/

hm... i think he got family issues.. maybe his dad again.. =/

but yeah.. feel kinda bad for him too.. =/ it ruined his day.. haiz........



so.. well.. i hope he gets better soon.

and i mosttttt certainly wish that sam will feel happy soon.. its been bad days for him.. nad me dont want that.. :(

just glad im able to tlak to him for hours again. he smile alot. :) u have no idea how sweet and cute that is ^^ haha.

his cheeky look also. XD hahaha....

ahem :P

well.. night time he heading out.. =/ so.. hm.. well.. dunno.. see how my day gonna be like...

wanna be at home when he's home.. he's out,. .also doesnt feel like staying back.=/

sianz.



hm............

k then.. will see whats my plan for tmr.. =/



mata ne.

Mistakes=Lessons

................

.............so here i am.............
bored.. feeling bored............
=/

just cooked and had my dinner. cooking for 5 persons. its a nice feeling. me cooked arrabbiata pasta today. yummy. but something seems to be missing in my own opinion... mega death. not kidding. mega death taste great with pasta :) cool.
used my chilli oil too.. ha..

=/...

hm..

oh.. its interesting.. how me can tell what sammy is trying to say with his tone. lol. yeah.. so funny.. yet interesting. the moment he open his mouth, if he changes his tone, ha.. i'll know how he's feeling. so fun. :) but not when u senses he's not happy. -_-

oh.. didnt know yet.. thought it was just me.. about the msn one word thingy.. then we never reply. ah.. long story. hate to explain it. but.. well.. i guess theres still alot of not being said out huh.
lil things.. by nature, i hate to put it out for disputation.
=/
nonetheless, it can become a major issue i know.. yet... u know.. human's nature sometimes.. 'let it be.. nah.. cant be bother.. im lazy.. it'll be fine.. small matter...' etc...
u just know deep in ur heart that something isnt right.. but yet humans nature let us do the things we felt its wrong. and we ended up having our lessons learnt. but some heed it. some dont. ignored the lessons, and u shall get burn in future.
stubborn humans eh.

for me.. i always learn.. but for a few issues.. yes.. ha.. i admit. .im one of those who knows its wrong, yet go ahead and risk it. but rarely though i have to emphasize on that.
ah... lessons learnt. i always. and i really do mean i Always.. learn my lessons from my mistakes. i belive for every mistake u made, there's always a lesson to be learn. its just a matter of whether u see it there anot. and whether u'll learn from how to prevent it from happening again.
thats the lesson peeps.

for me.. theres only one mistake.. i keep telling myself not to make.. but yet.. it always happen outta my control..(somehow yeah.. :( )
and the lessons.. sooo many i'd learned and tell myself not to do it again. yet i did. -_- sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
haha.. really.. thats my only hm.. =/ .. i dunno.. weakness i should say? one of my human weaknesses.

hmm.......... im trying to stay clear on thoughts.. i need some time away from strangers. hm.... i dunno... =/
just trying.. to... hm........
i just wanna stay clear of my thoughts.. stay focused.. not let anyone or anything to get through it. i hate it when i loses my focus.
now.. i guess... .. =/ o well... im kinda in a confused mode.. =/
perhaps.. yeah.. i just need to make sure 21st dec is here asap.
gosh...
some thoughts can kill.
argh.........

well.... tmr sammy might be busy.. in any case.. its the best time to look for his mum's stuffs. so yup..
hm.. we shall see then.. looking forward to a better tmr i hope.

hm.. hoping to slp early tonight again.. but.. =/ ... gosh.. i keep wakey in the early wee morning hours man.. and then slp again for a couple of hours.. then wakey at 12 plus. haiz. see how tonight ne.. o well..
just cant wait to get through the days..........
isit silly.. ha.. well.. 2012 is nearing anyway.

ah.. =/ tch.. bored ne.. so bored now..

oh, sam and my net seems to have abit of a erm.. conflict?.. haha.. well, seems like i always never receive his msg.. and his nudge doesnt even work. not meant to be? the net i mean.
yeah.. perhaps we on too often. =/ i duno. thats weird. i heard yahoo is so much better though.
well, he got his special way of nudging me now. ha.. yeah.. his very own special way :) the 'spamming' way :P ha.

sigh.. sometimes i wonder who's fault is it.. or is there no one's fault?.. i should've said it first.. but i didnt. i felt it 4months ago already. but keep it quiet. and then when i got tired of it, i ended up doing the same thing. becos,, yeah.. just do it. thinking.. why not if he's doing it.
then.. i guess its a annoying problem for both of us now eh.

ah.. my mouse... i think batt weak already..
cant move fast.. T_T cant play game that well now.. huuu... but don wan change yet.. maybe will get a new mouse asap. yup. hopefully to see a popular store soon..


mata

Wanna Slp Well Tonight

aw... ytd dunno why.. was feeling alil.. out of energy.. abit down.. but then.. ^^ hehe.. sammy's call always helps. 2 hours u know :)
yup.. always cheer me up. ha...
but at night.. yeah.. didnt slp quite well.. somemore wakey so early.. then back to slp again..
tonight.. i hope will be better.. abit slpy already :) yay...
hm.. tmr.. wonder whats in store for me. me wanna settle some other stuffs more.
today did it.. :) cool. just a couple of stuffs left.

gosh.. had a dream about my last day in singapore before going to sydney. was rushing.. mum also.. then my luggage so empty. hahaha... wah.. like so excited, yet at the same time so frightening :P
ha...
yeah.. i really hope on the night itself.. will be fine :) phew............
heart thumping :P

gosh.. finally found a watch i like. but it cost over $300 plus T_T...........
huu.. new brand i think.. yeah.. from italy. sigh..
look nice.. but.. well........ =/ its ok... i have my old watch would do.. ..
o well......

yay.. im yawning already:) hehe..
ahh.. i hope tmr will get to cook my jalapeno :) don wan them to rot before i even get to use them! ha. so.. yup. shall see then. eithe rcooking time, or settle my stuff time.
haiyo. slpy desu..

hm..... yeah.. so out today... miss sammy alot while out ne...
=/ cant wait to get back home.
well.... i am now.. hm.. just hope his tummy will get better.. haiyo..
huu... since he went back, dunno how many times this happen already :(
hope he'll be fine... .. ne.

mata

Again That Game... =.=

o...k............. ...ahem.. a person's words can be very powerful. XD. lol. especially from sam. we're chatting.. we played the jewel game thingy through msn..
after that, he was asking me to beat his score.'beat my score. =P i want u to beat my score'. he said. as though asking me to play.. XD awww...... he '=P' like.. so cute. ahh............ so... o well.. me gib it a try then.. =/
already told myself not to play that again. XD but.. well.. cos of his words,... me just play it alil again.. ha.. of course theres reasons for me to say not playing it again. quite a few actually. ha.
but o well......=/
anyway, hm... yeah... that time was getting the hand of it.. playing quite ok.. now..., just getting used to it all over again. well. at least theres something to do.. but.. still boring ne..

today.. thought of going out. almost did. but then......... well.. sam didnt go anywhere today.. so.... hm.. after much thinking, me stayed at home too.
and now, ha.. after my dinner, he's nowhere to be found XD lol.
maybe he's playing game. or busy with something. maybe tv eh..
dunno...'
just feeling bored now =/
cant wait to slp.. and see the early morning beginning of another day soon....... =/

hmm=/....... .... o well......

cant wait to start things moving.. but i guess.. in the final week before i leave, will be the busiest bah.
now... just kinda..... yeah.. lol... haven even get started much on anything yetXD gosh :P
always online mah.. not good desu.. haiz..

k. now me waiting for sammy to get back. then....... gonna slp bah.
hmm........
hope by tmr can get the stuffs i want.

hm....... =/ cant wait to see whats in store for me tmr..

today ne.... yeah.. been sooo long since me sat here.. through msn with sammy... ..yeah.. .been so long......... couldnt even remember whens the last time we chatted..


mata

Not So Happy Day =/

ahh... its a lil boring today.. but.. with the companies of bro and redz,.. yeah.. things are better.. =/ kinda.
sometimes still feels really left out... :(
..
i don know what i am in this family.

hm....... oh.. now i confirmed one matter.. hahaha... when me really hungry(in bad mood), feeling down, in deep thoughts, or sad, me cant walk on the streets.. cos if i do, someone bump into me, i'll go nasty. lol!!
yeah it happened again ytd!! XD!
hahaha.. but this philipino woman really bumped me hard!! then me so hungry.. me went' tch!!!' loud abit bah :P hahaha.. then she apologize. lol
but very rude ne.. me really dont like rude things like these. but.. what to do.. its auto reflex! haiz.. like theres a evil ego me there.. so frightening. im trying to change.. erm.. somehow.. haiyo. auto thigny difficult to control ne.. =/ but me dislike rudeness to the core. really hate it. that swhy dislike cursing. but still, lol.. cos of my frens, i started at it too. haiz.................. dread it. well, can control this one. so no prob. ;) still me :)

..have u ever doubt say...... ppl.. whom u care.. ... hmm...... =/
nothing actually.. sometimes i just wonder how much can the extent or limit a person's concern can go.
sometimes.. life.. busyness, blinded us.. from seeing whats the truth behind. we couldnt notice.. we couldnt see.. we never realise. ..so..blinded.. dont we all need some quiet time altogether, to settle down, and see what have we been negleting or missing out.

hmm............. sometimes i question myself.. whats there to doubt.

oh.. u know.. i really dont wish to go back to those months.. now that i think back, its very scary... i was always crying after he left.. i couldnt eat well.. everynight i was crying too.. a meal a day, or none.. always feeling so upset.
its pathetic. cos its like.. well, a part of u being taken away, and.. its really so hard to adapt back to ur old life again. its like happiness being snatched away from u.
it was so painful..
it took me monthssss before i realised how to stop all these.
well, lets just say the method works abit, but not the best method around =/ but i gotta do it.
i dont wanan end up like that again

hm.. sometimes i think heading out beats better than staying at home. i dunno.. something isnt in the right place. its confusing me.

huu.. so tired..
:( so sad.. really wish to give sammy a call now. its just a mere 10mins! he's off to slp.. then me.. o well.. =/
i guess its gonna be like that.. another thing for me to get used to. we cant expect to chat everyday. there'll always be some silence at bounds.

hm.. k.. think me.. slp later bah.. =/

mata

Shoes, Done!

hmm..... gosh............ i sat for 4 straight hours without getting up!! bacause redz wanna rebond his hair, and colour it. guys... -_- haha. he's so particular about his hair. most men like that eh.
=.=
hhahaha
so..yup. he asked me to accompany him. omg.. sooo long.. 4 hours!! killing my back and neck.. i need a massage!! huu... been needing one u know.. so in need of it. =/

hmm... then ar... we meet bro for dinner.. then redz decided that we wait for him to knock off. cos anyway he's knocking off in 3 hours time. we ate alot of kfc. me took 3 pcs of chicken! XD
one marsh potatoe, and a cuppa drink.full.. ha.. now they're eating again. :)

hmm.. me and redz then walk around.. he wanna get a pair of jeans.. and bro's xmas pressy.. lol! i told them what i want for xmas already!! every year i have no idea. but this year its different. i know what i want! yay! lol.
its a receipe book. or rather a file. something to store and write ur receipes in. :) cooool :) love it^^ really hope can get it.

hm... oh... then me saw this shoes.. yeah.. caught my eyes the moment i see it.. so.. yup.
asked redz and the sales lady for some opinions.. to make sure my taste is alrite too.. and well, bought it. cool. now i wont have to worry about getting my feel wet when its raining :) but wont wear it now. heh. :)
did thought of getting it in aussy.. but.. i know myself.. if in case aussy doesnt have a pair i like, i;ll sure regret why didnt i buy it today. so.. yup. want no regrets. and bought the pair of shoes. yeah.. thats me.. so difficult to find something i like. =/ o well.. haha

today went to get a speaker.. for my lappy. really too soft ar.. the sound quality.. =/ so yup... bought a new set.. hm,.. saw a mouse.. really like it. its a gaming mouse though. but i dont mind. then see the price, lol. forget it .huu..
after the shoes,.. time for me to be extra tight budget eh. hmm.. but.. dunno ne.. should i really be spending lots on a good mouse? i love that brand sammy using too.. but... at this timing,... hm.. can i afford it?.. ..
well.. shall see. which ever mouse catches my eye. yeah.. today 3 mouse caught my eye. but all too expensive :( so.. o well.. and 2 of them are sooo unique!! huu... its from japan. sigh. o well...

hm.. ok.. so.. thats about it.. hm.. gonna test out my speaker now. cant wait.

mata!

Walking Long...

just done with my shower.. yeah i know its late.. was waiting for sma to hit the sack first..
glad he enjoyed his day.. he deserved it ne..

my day? gosh............
i don even know where to begin typing..
erm.. first.. me went to collect my visa and tickets.. then.. head to pp with the intention of changing my money.. but omg... -_- dunno what happen, the rates all up sooo high. -_- what a wasted trip.
hmm.. bought a packet of instant hot and spicy ramen.. then a chilli sauce.. :P
hm...
then 2 cup noodles. lol. all darn spicy. ha

tehn.. head to my workplace.. aww.. miss them.. hm.. then.. drop by redz workplace.. then went to ion.. wait for my bro to knockoff... omg.. waiting3............ walking3............. alot u know..
then before redz arrive, we went in this supermarket. omg........... they got the best chilli. erm not say best. haha.
theres this chilli sauce, cost $8 plus. another small bottle of chilli powder, cost $22 plus. -_-......
wow.
but its special.. thats why exp. and its not local. sigh..
then i thought of what i said in my previous blog.. since end of world is coming, i dont have to bother so much on money.
but still... gosh. its in my blood... i cant do it. so..never buy.. :(
huu.. plus theres this $14.90 chilli oil!! omg........ really wanted it soooo much.. huu......
:(

hmm.......... ... we had dinner at thai express... hm....... not bad... omg.. they got the yellow ginger tofu!! its good :D heee...
the prawn something also vey very cripsy..

hm...... gosh.. i think tmr might wanan wakey very early... hmm.. so late already.. how ar... ...=/
miss doing that. hm.. k.. think me wakey early ah. :)
ah. back home.. then watch dvd.. REC. hm.. yeah.. we walked alot today. wow.. me and mum. yup..
glad she off tmr. otherwise will be tired for her ne..

..

=/

how much can u feel a person's concern towards u....

mata

2012 What Would U Do

great news :)
the stocks has dropped yet again. but so sad!:( me cant go change today. haiyo.. wrong timing.. but i hope tmr will still drop somemore.. shall see how tmr.

yesterday.. its abit different.. im talking about my fren's birthday bbq.
its like.. yeah.. yeah.. quite alot of ppl.. come and go.. come and go.. unlike that time.. my fren's bbq, they come, stay longer, then go off in one group or so. last night was like.. mix2 here and there.. come and go.. haha.. confusing :P

hm... yeah.. nice night..
food.. ok ba..
hm.. yup. not bad bah..
o well

then in the middle of the night, ppl started to talk about ghost stories..
about 2012

hmm..... talking about 2012..
lets cut to the chase shall we.
the disturbing thing is, the guy who predicted it, is the one who predicted the titanic and tsunami.
and he's right on them. but no one belive him at the time.
and i didnt know till last night theres actually a fire comet passes by downtown east in year 2000. everybosy who's there to celebrate, saw it.
wow.

hmm..... then the girls there were like saying.. they don care. they are so gonna get married in jan. or early next year. and gonna have children before end of world is here.
dec 21 2012.

:(........
i know.........
heres the thing.... alot of ppl are skeptics. i think including sam.
but.............
..lets say what if.
ok.. its a what if.
this matter is true. some ppl dont belive its gonna happen, yet it will. let ssay its that case. i mena.. woulnt it be utterly pathetic when u realised its really the end of world, and u never cherish anything around u, or do anythign u've always wanted.
wouldnt that be such great regrets?

ok.. lets talk about me here...
hmmm
..
if say its true.. ..i guess i know how those girls feel when they say they wanna get married now.
hmm..
i'll like to improve on my languages ability..
i'll treat myself well.. treat my mum better..
hm...
cherish and treasure sammy all the more..
hm. .do whatever i like...even if it means abit bad. lol. hm..
lets see.. will try not to get stress at anything else much..
since world is ending right. hahaha...
hm......
money issue.. wouldnt be a prob anymore..
no need to consider about so much now......
can do anything i want without hesitations..
freedom eh..

=/
o well...

hm.. waiting for sammy to get home.. now watching tv.. then gonna wait for bro to come home.. then can have dinner together with redz too..
yeah.. gonna have a nice dinner.
me whipped up pasta today :)
its good ^^
each time i cook a new dish, i learn something new. and i love it.

hm.. after the aussy holiday.. .. i wonder if there'll be any other chance..
who knows.. theres the 2012.. might be abit tad too difficult to save up huh.. but.. well, who knows the future..

hmm.......
haven eaten anything yet.. not hungry.. weird..
but had a small bowl of pasta just now.. later tehn eat with bro and redz.. yeah.. for his birthday. ha

mata

First Day Of Freedom

hmm.... ok.. so.. today is my first day of getting back to 'real' life.. haha.. erm.. not abd.. me feeling happy... hm... cleaned up my room abit.. but...... huu.. T_T got a runny nose now cos of teh dusts.. :( yeah.. me very sensitive to that.. so.. will bit by bit clean i guess.. =/

gosh.. now im so worried about my tickets and visa.. so troublesome to print them out!:( huu... i hope my frens have a printer.. one day no print out, me dont feel safe :( like a big stone lying in my heart.. so scary.. i wanna settle the tix soon.. =/

today.. wow. .so happy to cook again! :D haha... cool. :) really happy to be in the kitchen. :)
exercise abit, clean up, cleared my photos.. memory card.. cool.. :) not bad for the day. just that my nose... haiyo.. still sneezy..

i hope tmr will be a great day with a perfect weather.
tmr redz's birthday! omg.. he invited me and bro to his birthday bbq. wow.. i hope this will be fun. anyway know quite afew ppl there.. so should be alrite.. i just hope the fire can be started! haha..

hm.. tired...
sleepy ba ne..
today auto wakey early.
hm..
yeah.. tmr wonde rwhat to settle next.. need to make a trip down to p.p soon..
when the stock market is right. yeah. .change all money.
k.. gonna do my nails now.. wow. .another thing to do.. sooo long never done that =/

mata ne!

Abit Sad To Leave Ne.. T_T

hmm.. was feeling a lil sad.. down.. cos.. its like. all the fun at work.. no longer there.. :( .. sigh.. sad... but..well.... what to do..
gonna miss everyone, and all the fun i had.. :( huu.........

gosh.. now i feel so sleepy........ gonna slp asap after online!!
yawn*..........

hm.. morning... soo busy. tons of stocks to do. non stop for 3 hours straight. alone doing it. then boss came down.. argh. gosh. what a last working day. -_- not good. kidna busy whole day.
hm.......... .. kinda couldnt belive its really over.. ..=/
my boss ask me call him when im back.. haiyo.. -_-

hm.......... oh! i think its ytd. my fren nisa say she dreamt of me eating mee goreng! and true enough. i ate mee goreng that night!! O.O... she say me wearing dark blue.. but actually me wearing light blue! i ask her if me wearing spec in her dream>? she say no..
but i did.. haha. if she say yes,.. OMG... shocking sia..
haha., hm.. yeah.. interesting:)

wow.. just now izuan.. passed me a farewell card so suddenly... aww
me really happy. .so touched :) and when he gib me, so funny! the atmosphere is so right! background playing a chinese romantic slow song.. wah... so nice sia.. so touching. haha :)
yeah. what a sweet surprised :)

theres this lil girl.. sometimes will drop by our shop with her bro. her name is ahshikha. haha.. she hug me today!! then also hug my arm so tight.. like.. aw..
haha.. first time i think.. a lil girl hug me like that . haha.. was so surprised. lol.

hm.. well.. overall... its a bad last day for me.. hahaha.. so many thigns went wrong early morning.. geez..

hm......... yeah. .had a last meal with nisa in aftnoon.. then at night also eat again.. hm.. :( sad ne..
nisa always ask me take pics with her... :( sooo gonna miss doing that.. as well as her. sigh.. :( ...

well.. guess imma start all new days now.. hm......... yeah.. so many things to settle now..
perhaps tmr get to cook! haha
shall see..
hm.. yeah.. gonna see how my new days be like.. gonna start all over again without a job days..

mata ne

Expensive Cut

haiyo... sooo full ne.. cant join bro and redz for supper tonight...

wow.. so fast ne. less than a month's time.. to prepare my trip.. and be happy again.. ...
hmm.. so many places to go.. and buy.. o well.. my visa.. haiyo...
oh.. perhaps ask my manager to help?.. haiyo.. ee..

hmm... sooo sleepy...
lets see...
after work.. trim my hair alil.. gosh!!waited for sooo long before they cut my hair! argh! and soo expensive somemore :( huu....
but.. hm.. okok la.. haiz.
at least not bad can le..
ha.. so surprised when they shampoo my hair first thign before cut.
hm.. then.. window shop around.. trying to keep my budget down right now... =/
o well.........
hm... yeah.. long day..

..gosh.. tmr working with soul.. omg.. been ages since we work together.. hmm...
...tch.. o well...... see how ab..
so gonna remember my day tmr.. last day..

haha.. my boss in good mood eh?.. asking me if im gonan have a farewell party.. going pub or where to celebrate anot.. hahaha... i say no.. then he's like.. why ar.. ,my relationship with my frens like that ar.. haha.. geez.. -_-
o well... as if we got alot of money ar.. -_-
anyway, when he walk outta the shop, he mentioned.. ok.. we shall see ar.. whether we'll have a surprise party anot..
... dots.. as if!! -_-

hmm... =/ these few days stop feeling so hungry now though.. today had one meal.. and im full..
*yawn..
-_-.. sleepy ne..
last night slept for 10hours.. still aint enough..

mata

Stupid Matter!

omg.. i am sooo sleepy............... soo goonna sleep already!! so thirsty too.. gosh.. my eyes already half closeeeeeeeee huu.. T_T i wanna slp!!!

haiyo.. today almost get to cook.. but bro not home.. so.. yeah.. dad wanan go eat outside.. so.. o well.. cook maybe tmr or other day ba..

wow.. my dad, he loses alot of weight. his beer tummy, now gone! still got abit though. but yeah.. wow... never thought i could see it one day.. so flat. .hm.. ok.. still got abit la..
but yeah..

gosh my eye closing.. lemme type a quick blog here then..
hm.. tmr.. dunno wanna trimm, hair anot. see how ne..

hm.. :( sigh.............. u know right.. been blogging so long here... me hate it when ppl pushes the blame to me.. if in the first place, had they gotten the key, btw, it is their fault!!!
then me wouldn't have made that so called my fault mistake. gosh. dammit.
if i wanna be bad and mean, i can pick a fight. but i dont to.
its izuan we;re talking about here.. he;s my fren and i.. yeah.. =/ doesnt wish to blow up the matter and make things worse. :(
but. it aint my fault.. tmr i am not gonna apologize.. usually i;ll say sorry.. but whne it comes to serious matter, i cant say sorry when its not my fault in the first place. who started it first huh??!
geez!!
no i cant do it. small matter, its alrite.. this kind of thing, if i say sorry, i;ll be admitting its my fault.
argh!!!

but today.. aint bad actually.. feel refreshed.. but.. sigh.. this stupid matter.. blow things up. argh..

k.. stop here now.. gosh.. slping in about... 15mins? yay!!

mata!

6 Hours Concert -_-

gosh.. now my album's upside down.. never upload pics.. pics here and there from different timezones.. XD oh my goodness.. so messed up.. now me also duno when me took thsoe pics.. haiyo.. wasted ne..
too busy to sort them out. .then like. found them.. then like.. what? me have those pics? kinda like that. hahaha

ahh.. .theres a new staff... a girl.. partiemr.. i worked with her on fri.. wow. .she look sooo soft spoken and shy.. and sooo innocent.. but!! she smoke, she drinks, she clubs... OMG... O.O i was so taken aback!!
im serious! u could just imagine the most innocent looking skinny girl.. and when she told ya she did those stuffs,.. wow.... O.O i cant imagine it.. gosh... she's a chinese. so fragile looking. but nice to work with her:)
yup. a pity though.. sigh.. .gonna be my last day soon.. =/ huu
atz staffs ne.. nice to work with most of them:) at least to me.

hmm.. what else happen.. hmm... gosh my memory's sux...
too many things to do..
work..personal..fatique..

wow.. thsi weekend been so busy for me. also turned down away afew invitations..
yeah.. fri.. gosh.. so many invitations..
today too.. but turned down one. rather head home..
was out in vain early in the morning sacrificing my sleep for a fren's performance . gosh........ hell no.. its so boring.. and tiring.. and sitting there for 6 hours staraight!!! XD! goodness gracious....
but my fren performances is great. really good job done :)

so glad to be home now.. gosh.. really..

so sleepy.. countless of time si dozed off in the victoria theatre.. gosh.....

k.. talk next time..

mata!

Missing Lots..

gosh.. huu.. couldnt sleep much ne.. just woken up abit. sooo hungry:( starving.. huu....
thought of getting up and eat. .but... hmm.. =/ too sleepy.. still tired ne.. haiyo... :(

hm.. today early morning haven open shop, sales already so good ;)
but.. at the end of night.. its liek always.. my manager trying to push my sales away by saying.. oh this big sales belong to this person's customer.. blahn3.. something like that.

.sigh... i miss sammy so much. :( ..i cant wait for the 21st...
....
i really wish sammy's back here.. :(...
..T_T.......... me sad... sammy's not here... sad.. huu............
.... almost 4 months already... :( ..........................
sigh.....
... so many years to go... :( ......... kurushii ne.......... ... =/

me wakey suddenly..
,,,,miss sammy..
i miss u salim.....

mata

No Halfbreak Before Marriage Please

omg... i was sooo sleepy and tired!! never bloggy.. huu..

hmm.. gosh. .cant remember what happen ne.. hm..

ok. .that night,.. nisa dropped by my place.. then becos she's a person who always look at teh ppl around her, even when she's walking.. she told me that my place here.. like.. why alot of ppl look like zombie. everywhere we go, they stare3...
then i was like.. really?? and true enough, i walk.. and yeah!! i noticed the ppl all staring at us! like.. not really stare.. but.. yeah.. they'll look u know. omg. .so weird. then me tell her.. maybe my area here not much girls like us.. perhaps more of older ppl..
haiyo.. wah.. she;s really good at this.. haha. cant wait to see her tmr i guess

ah.... sam fell aslp before me could reach home that night...
aw..
then me try to hang on till he's wakey.. then.. end up fallen aslp at 3am.. -_- haiyo.. no wonder today me sooo sleepY!!
but its worth it :) cos.. yeah.. just this close though.. 2more hours to chat when he wakey.. hee..

gosh! my knee hurts!
ouchie... but glad now better.. duno why ne,, my sitting position perhaps?

ah... wow.. i was surprised when redz told me about his manager, (me also know him) gotten married last dec!!
its a hush wedding.. but. yeah.. :) wow.. great eh.
i was surprised.. cos he was with this gf for like.. hm.. 10years? or more? something liek that.. then i heard they broke off. :(
then after dunno how long, perhaps months time or dunno what.. tehy actually patched back up, and got married! ;D cool .happy for him ^^ he's a very good tempered funny guy. :)
hm.. yeah.. another case already ne..
imagine u're with someone for years... long years.... then suddenly something happen, then break up,..its like wasting alot of precious time... cos.. life aint long u know.. :( but then,.. there might be some precious lessons u can learn from it..
then after that, get back together, and married. haha.. really.. lfie is so unpredictable huh...
its all in our hands...
but.. hm..
of course not that simple.

haiyo.. my shoulders...
everytime sit too long, type till it hurts..
the table la.. too high ne.. haiyo...
in need of a massage!!!

ah.. just now ne.. sam showed me around his new house. yeah. .great.. haha. i was thinking.. perhaps if his parents wanan show me around, i say yeah i know already.. this is where3... ha.. then they'll be like.. ehh... how u know ar.. ha..
nah.. wont ever do that.. no way:P

hm.. k.. time for me to rest soon..
so sleepy.. still need more rest..
=/

mata ne!

Sleepy Boring To Video

hmm.................very sleepy... =.=.... whoof....... what a videoing day again... ha.. the lil girl insisted on it. gosh.. me so sleepy and bored doing the recording -_-...

hm... =/ boring day again yup.. but not too bad..



hm.. theres 3 fullshifts coming up.. this week gonna be hectic though.. personal stuffs.. work stuffs.. argh.. its ok.. ending job soon..

hm.. stil lcant believe what my boss said.. .. anyway,

today sales sooo bad. wow... still worried even though im quitting. its in my blood i guess.

i just wanna.. hm.. kinda make sure my work is done and alrite before i go.



hmm........ just now ne.. was having my late dinner with nisa.. below my block.. not bad ba.. hm... yeah.. so nice to sit downstairs.. wind abit breezy too..

hmm......

me drying my hair now... hm.. wanna sleep soon...

hm.. bored.. haiyo...



bro.. not coming back tonight...

hm.. not that lonely ba.. =/ hm........

just bored..and sleepy.. need so many nights of sleep to get back my energy.. geez...

mata

Down Down... =(

............sigh......................................................

:(

i thought i manage to get myself outta it.. but din realsied i stupidly headed back in.. argh.... now im in trouble..

today ne.. only had lunch.. usually me eat alot.. but today.. hm.. no ne.. till now.. tummy now hurting abit.. huu..
=/

sianz

since ytd, nothing seems to be like.. right.. i guess.. im just kidna feeling down eh... =/
sigh.........
stupid sia...... :(

sigh.....................

:(

feel like cursing...........

sigh

perhaps all i need is food and slp....

tch......... =/

i wish communications can be easier.. even though this world theres phone and msgs around.. internet......
i dunno.. ppl might be depending on technology alil bit more isnt it?.. sometimes.. it just .. doesnt feels right...
certain thing.. i thought.. must be resolved...by.....
-_-.. gosh...
i must be crazy.. sorry.. perhaaps isnt the thing to write here.. its my own inner thinkings.
hm........

......
a lil matter can affect me so much.. :(
..i shouldn'tve let it get to my head..

hm... was freezing liek mad in teh bus just now.. gosh........ like the aircon is free sia..

its really a liar sometiems eh.. through the internet.. u may send a smiley face icon to ur other party fren. but at that time u're most probably be drinking and crying.
its all so.. ..hm.. whats that word.. .... cant see?... i dunno...
its so... sad.. that.. ppl cant actually really feel becos they aint....... .. u know.....

hmm..... right now in my life.. i need alot more care than ever.. also dunno why recently felt nothing coming from my family.
nah.. cant be bother. as long as im not led astray will do.
and i wont. ha.

hmm.. my supper's getting ready soon.. cant wait to eat..

i hope tmr will be a better day..
smile. cheers.....
stop thinking.

mata

Shocking Me

hm................ :(... today...
supposed to be heading to town grab some stuff, then head back home.. but then.. fren ask to go for a movie.. so.. o well.. no one accompany him.. =/ i agree to it.. then thank god.. bump into my childhood fren! phew... with another long time no meet fren. so really2 lucky to bump into them.. cos me feel kinda awkward and uncomfortable watching a movie with my fren.. yeah.. =/ so glad my frens can make it. phew..
and so.. we watched the paranormal activity. hm.. very disturbing.. but.. the bf love her so much.. ...sigh..
i shouldn't have agree to my fren's request.. its my mistake perhaps.. then away from sammy..
u have no idea how upset i was throughout the night... :( and somemore i should've known.. its a guy fren asking me out. .argh.. how can i make sammy feel down.. :( baka3.... huu.. i dunno what to do sometimes.. im torned.. i dont want that to happen again.. .. .. huu..

missing... thinking.. really lots.. :( sigh.. so wanna cry.. cos today went pass the places we used to hang out.. making matters worse.. :(

k.. so after movie.. my fren wanna chill at this mind's cafe. so we had some snacks there.. and played 2 board games. one of them which is truth or dare.
gosh.. they were asking about bedroom questions! what.. guys normal erm.. ahem.. making lvoe time is 15mins there.. i was like thinking.. huh?! isit??! XD thought its an hour?? lol.

sigh... =( really beenn thinking ltos ya know.. with such a heavy heart tonight.. of course feel bad.. i do miss him so much... yet im out there... :( huu............. T_T
sigh.. really not a great night.. my heart is wih sammy..
a number of times cant help but shed down some tears..

something really shocked me today.. totally. omg.
i just crossed the traffic lgiths with my frens.. just then, this couple, (i think they have other frens ard too.. not sure..) walked past me. the guy, accidentally bumpy into me.. abit hard.. ard my arm area..
while i was crossing the road, and before, i was already having lots of things in my mind.. and wih a heavy heart too. so i really wasnt in a good mood at all. don mess with me when im down.
and something really weird happen.
the moment he bump into me, i could hear myself saying somethign like.. ' its ok.. say sorry..' but AT THE SAME time, another voice say heck care! then another voice said again..' wait no.... keep quiet don say anyhing t that guy!'
the next second i know, i lost the battle. it all happened in a mere split second.
i turn my head around , by right i would've apologized to that guy. i always do when i bump into someone, or they bump into me. and the rudest i've gone to is say 'tch!!' by Mistake too. but not as shocking as this time round. as i was saying.. i turned my head, i say 'Oii!!' to that guy. then he say sorry.. ten i look back at my frens.. they were all looking at me. shocked. but most of all, im the one who get totally shocked by what i just did.
i have no idea who that was who just said 'oii!!' ...omg.. so rude. .so fierce.. so.. scary.. it wasnt me..
but.. its feels really weird.. as though.. that scary part of me just.... wanted to get out or something.. im kidna scared one day if anything big happen, i might change to a totally different person.. :(
huu.. i hope not... but....
yeah.. it feels as though it the deepest part of me yet...
cos.. i wasnt thinking straight.. and.. i was feeling down.. then suddenly this thing'bang' into me. .and i woke up outta a sudden.. so fast.. then.. i couldnt follow my usual sense.. and i shut up like what the voice told me to.. i retaliated to that.... .. huu.. me so bad..
and end up being someone im not. i couldnt stop myself from retaliating.. sigh

anyway.. yeah.. its very shocking.. so.. ... haiz.. o well... =/
lucky that guy isnt a ganster or what.. gosh.. skali kena scold by his gang die sia.. ha

hm.........
sigh.... =./ i dont feel happy that much eh.. o well.. what to do..
then.. we went to beach.. hm... saw the sky.. alot of planes.. flying off.. i look up... :( wondering if that day.. sam is sitting in there.. just like that.. flying off away together with the plane.... huu..... teary eyes again...
he was sitting in a plane.. just like that... he flew off.. just like that.. he never come back.. he's at another place now.. that day.. the plance fly him there.. and he's never back since... .. :..(
i looked at it.. wishing i was in the plane right now.. flying over.. 'take me there..' i heard myself whispering and yearning inside my heart...while looking up through the nightsky at the plane....

T_T huu...........
...
dunno why.. tonight so extra miss him..

feels kinda like my life is abit upside down.. :(

...

mata

Stupid Alarms

gosh.. so sleepy... my alarm.. lol... wanna kick it man..
the batt fall out, me din know..thats why it didnt ring.. then my hp, forgot to set alarm! XD haiyooooo
and me wakey right at the time i was supposed to be changing and doing my make up. . omg. so very rush..
rush3, finally made it on time. wah.... if me never wakey, dunno how sia seriously. i really cant and don wanna imagine that..
really lucky i gotta say.. good thing me wakey at the right time..
cos wokey in teh middle of night.. then cant slp back. online awhile.. then try to slp again. cos tired.. :( then.. omg.. no alarm.. ha..

hm.. shoulders in need of a good massage.... really.. hm.. i think i need some fun ne.. watch movie or something.. =/ been stuck at that working boring till like what place for days staright.. only lunch time and morning time get to see the light. once im outta the shop, i was surprised(can u belive it?) gosh. its night time already!! its BLACK! the sky's dark. haha.. o well.. what to do..

hm.... ..started to look back at alot of my old pics... then.. memories gushes back between me and sam.. =/ ...see.. teary eyes now.. haiyo...
those full of laughter sweet memories.. i dont have it in my life here now.
sometimes good things gotta end. it doesnt come easy.. not at all.
who says good things come easy? without struggles..
i miss.. i really3 miss.. everything.. since the day i met him.... ...

... shoot.. cry again.. sianz..
kk.. don think don think.. stop thinking about everything now.. otehrwise non stop crying. argh..

kk.. gotta relax.. concentrate and think of otehr stuff...

mata

Sleepy Day!!

gosh... finally today is over.. i am soooo sleepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. omg...
i hope tmr will be a better day.. .huu.. why still not enough rest ne.. :(

ahh.. ate alot today ... goshhh soooo fulllll... haha....
had lunch with redz today. tehn before we part ways, i say i wanna have a look at the bread shop while he went other way.. he gib me this 'what! still food????' look. LOL...
yeah.. theres this choco puff thingy.. sooo yummy.. :P full of choco. haha

gosh. theres this malay man walk into the shop today.. speaking to me in malay! O.o hahahha.....
he say thought im a malay. ha.. do i look like a malay still? or cos of my colleagues eh

gosh.. cant stand it.. i need sooo much rest =/
sooo sleepy.. me stil llooking so tired everyday. ;( argh.. dislike it ne.

tmr talk more ne.. now too tired to type..

mata ashita ne

Thinking Of Only The Sweet Moments

hmm... ok... so... today.. finally.. im a lil bothered by money issue..
.. =/ nonetheless... i cant wait to head for my holiday.. i just wanna see sammy, and focus on matters there, and forget everythign else.
:( i don wanna think about other matters in singapore. or in the future after im back. ...huu.. i really just wanna head there.. and stop thinking for once.. about whats gonna happen in future.. or job..or money.. blah3... i don wish to think about those.. yeah.. hoping .. uh huh.. for the best..
dreamt of being there... so nice.. pass the customs so smoothly and easy too.. so happy. hahaha.
well.. ..i guess... my dreams of being in sydney will finally come true in afew more weeks time...
hm......
from there... i just wanna relax... think of nothing else..about singapore. hmm.........
...
dunno why.. ..feel kidna heavy heart now... =/

today.. was out with hammy and raz. haha. but very very tired... :(
hm.. they wanns shop.. so.. yup.. we eat at fish and co. very full!
hm.. went to ion.. heeren.. far east..
ah.. the decorations.. wow wow wow.. amazing this year. so much better than the past few years. cool.
hm...

oh Theres a new shopping mall opening soon. wow. so many. now orchard is like.. hahaha.. really shopping heaven sey..

hm..
k.. me try my best not to think about other things... jsut stay at sydney.. have fun.. enjoy my moments with sammy. thats the main point..

gosh.. me having the tired face for days... =/
haiz.. still so tired.. don like me looking like that ne..

mata ne..

Life Lessons

gosh.. finally this day is over. .good thing theres manager to help out.. otherwise alone is like. wah....

hm.. beginning.. well.. me went to see my boss... i told myself to remain calm.. actually no need to say anyting to myself.. i appeared to be calm.. and cool.. talking to him also like. ok.. yup.. uh huh.. cos i don wanna talk much. just wanna get out. but he suddenly talk3... then tlak to the mostb sensitive part of me.. its like ouch! he hit the nail on the spot! then within a sec, i cried already -_- always in front of him. sianzzzzz .haha.
well.. i know whats he trying to say about me being so 'poor' . while sam is being so 'high' up... u know.. that kind of. ...yeah..
=/... i know.. i knew it all along.. but.. yeah..
idiot ne.. ..ha.. ..=/ go and say it out... ..
hmm..
sianz..

but glad this matter put to rest for now.. he gib me so much life lessons sia..geez. hm.. me like. .wow. .didnt realised i only have 2 weeks left in tis company... aw..... ...
sigh..

and my manager.. anyhow talk about me to my bosses. another one from today. wah.. bloody hell.. but i don wanna mention anuthing to my boss. im leaving. sick of this kind of childish stupid backstab ppl stuff. i don want my part in it. its irks me much.

but some of my boss words,.. surprisingly, its really good..
like he said..
a high educated man, doesnt mean he'll be rich. like in my case,.. i went through more tough life than that person, with everything thing i got, i learn more, isnt it better he said.
u can agree to that somehow.
its way too long and complicated to say it all here of how i think of that.. but... hm.. well.. anything or anyone is different. if u put 2 persons together, doing the same thing, it might turn out different. or it will. its just.. humans.. is really complicated... everyone is different.. sometimes.. ... hmm. u just cant... hm... u cant expect everyone who do the same thing , will definitely have the same results, or future to it.
..i don belive that.
uni students also end up selling chicken rice. dots.
whatever it is, .. hm..
well..
to eahc of his own. everyone got their own strong points. u just gotta know how to and where to put it to good use. isnt it... ..
o well,... complicated..
lets talk next time shall we..

gosh.. today.. amazing....... really3 amazing.. since morning, all the transportation im tkaing, always left when im so near it. trains.. bus... geez.. tough luck today.. all the way till me get home. lol. weird!

hmm.. nisa and her ex in JB finally got back together. so.. oh well.. pity her few days or ratehr one week ex bf... :( sad sia..
hm....... =/
o well.. its her decision..

mata

Bad Day =/

hmm.. what a bad down day.. unlike yesterday.. :(

first.. i guess i got no choice but to go meet my boss up tmr morning.. huu... early morning. .waste my time:(
hm. feeling nervous though.. . haiz. just wanna get it over with, and look forward to my off. get rid of tmr. thats it. hmm... i realy hope i wont get too soft hearted though.. =/ haiz..

oh then.. hm.. might have some prob ne.. sam might be getting a job.. and if i go there, he might have no time to spend with me.. :(
i mena. .the main purpose for me to be there is to have a great enjoyable holiday(my first time oversea like this), plus to see him. yeah.. its to see him.. well.. .. =/ i dunno.. gonna wait for a reply i guess.. but theres no way.. definitely no way imma stay at home and not go anywhere to have fun for 5 days a week. but i know myself that its kinda dangerous for me to head out alone and. yeah.. -_- duh.. ION shopping mall in singapore i can get lost. much less other place. but. when theres a will, theres a way. sure can get back home safely somehow. yup. tough maybe. but what to do ne. so.. well.. hm.. =/ see how things go bah..
i know he'd been trying to find a job. so.. .. .=/ o well.......
worse to worse.. ... hm.... just .. ..sigh.. nah.. cant worse to worse.. this might be my only trip.. i cant afford to miss out anything.. really wanna enjoy lots.. so.. yup. better start to learn my way just in case. ha.. ..o well............. look up into the sky for directions.. ... ha

ok..then.. atlas.. my buscard.. huu... T_T lost... i lost it! huu.. im pretty sure its in my shop.. but.. :( haiyoooo inside the card still got plenty of money ne.. huu.. :( haiz. what to do

my fren nisa.. haiyo.... ... her ex been calling her a few times.. her current bf picked up the phone that time. ask him not to call again.. but still he keep on calling. today. .she had a fight with her bf. angry cos he suddenly say not picking him up. hm.. come to think of it.. i think sammy last min also did that before.. guys.. haha. but me never angry at him once. im pretty sure. hmm.... lol.
anyway, she's so angry. then he angry too. never msg each other. jsut then, her ex called she picked up.. then blah3.. they decidede to meet tonight. ..haiz... duno la.. she.... ..hmm.. =/ worry about her a lil.. but... ..o well.............
hm... .. i guess.... .. hm. .even though she broke up with him.. she still cant give him up. somemore he never give up... waiting to get back with her. ..so tonight. .well.. he got his wishes. so.. hm.. ..o well.. =/ hope she know what she's doing....

haiz. hope the poor guy wont get hurt.. he seems so nice... =/ i hope her choice is good. she say.. she still love her ex.. but he's in jb.. so.. ..hm.... ..

gosh.. my neck hurts.. so tired and sleepy today.. no heart to work.. =/
sales finally pick up at near closing. phew.. otherwise another trouble to face when meet the bosses tmr.

ouch. my shoulders.. huu.. need massage... >_<

hmm... really cant wait for the day for me to stay at home, clean and cook. :) ahh.. nice!! ^^

hm.. k.. hoping everything will go well tmr. and asap let time flies..

mata

Age Doesn't Matter ;)

hmm... ok..... just... now a lil excited.. wonder if it works though..
my bro.. got this mp 4 player from his fren as a birthday gift afew years back. dunno why, i suddenly thought of it, and ask my bro if he using it anot. he had never open that up before. brand new. he say no. then i ask if i may have it. he say ok.
then yeah.. so happy. :) i might not be getting a new one after all if this one works. :)
hm.. transferring songs now.. yeah.. hoping it works.. =/

nisa drop by my house just now.. had dinner together.. wow. .she's so brave.. ask for more noodles for my behalf.. O.O haha..
yeah.. noodles like half portions only >_<
yeah.. she drop by to upload some photos to her web. her sis wont let her use her line or something. so.. yeah. haha.
then all this while i was tlaking to sammy on the phone. ha

hm.. i had mee kuah.. gosh.. ever since sam left,.. i've not eaten there any more.. :(
hm.....

so.. well today .. its kinda exciting i guess... i might be staying in a hotel for 3nights in sydney.
we shall see how things go :) . sound really nice to me though. hehe.

wow.. today neevr auto wakey early. :) yay...
was so sleepy. now also.. cant wait to sleep after bloggy.. yup.

wow. .talked to sam over the phone for an hour today. haha... :) nice^^
his laughter always the best.
hm.. yeah.. miss sam alot..
wow.. one month plus to go... hm.. counting down.. ..

lol. my fren's classmate, about 19yrs old or 18.. came to my shop. my fren ask her to guess my age. she say 18. lol. thanks ar. hahaha...
but.. i dunno ne.. i think my family got the blood. of ppl looking young. that wedding i attended, yeah he look so good too. even another relative was commenting on how he look like a boy boy. lol. :P
that day this guy at the bbq, he's 26b or 25. but he look like soo yoing like a student! like 21! omg. was so shocked to know his age. but we both agree. looking young can have some probs. ppl tend not to trust u alot. especially at work. o well...
only we know how that feels bah.. =/

hm.. k.. done with the songs.. tmr will check if it works.. hoping so.. then will be yeah.. :)

... hm... miss him........
..counting down to the days.. from 3, 4months.. counting down till now....
..hang on..

mata

Birthday BBQ

too tired.. so missed out on bloggy..

erm..

lets see..

realized my memory is getting worse.. ha. a fren asked me what did i don on my weekend few days back. and my mind, guess what.its totally blank. i cant evem recall what i'd done.. or where i've been. working what shifts.. gosh.. really bad eh.. =/

hm... theres this fren of mine say to me.. face to face. that he like me. i think thats the first time someone ever dare to express their feelings to me in person. but.. =/ o well... its not meant to be. so.. no.. ..

I love sammy chan. ^^

lol.. that day i was in the ladies with my fren. i was lookign in the mirror, making my hair.. she suddenly say.. i look so innocent doing that. Lol XD!! am i?? hahaha... i dunno...
if sam saw, i think maybe he go awww... lol. but.. haha.. maybe that day its my exxpression or what la. hahaha.geez

omg.. a new phone is out. the phone i've been waiting for. really dunno what colour to choose.
but.. well... gosh.. love it :) freaking cant wait to own it:D
hehehe...
yeah.. the phone im currently using now is giving me some probs.. especially the keypad,, always got trouble. argh.. can make u type wrong.
hm. ..or perhaps i type too fast. ..

wow.. last night attended my fren's birthday bbq party. lots of food. really worried when we cant seem to start the fire for over an hour.
hm.. long story..
din expect to have so many ppl there.
hm.. but ok.. some of them jokes.. so.. yup.. not too awkward the atmosphere.
soon.. one by one gone. .and i swear to god.. i really didnt know the time is so late!! we left in the morning!! huu... i really thought that by 11 or 12 plus i can get back. so.. well.. he's happy.
and atlas..
ha

i almost fall into the dark sea...
hm....
...was crying out loud.. ..
at the sea there...
=/
.. o well
feel bad though.. to let my frens worry.. =/
sorry.. and thanks guys.

ah.. talked to sam twice already for today :)
hehe.. he sounded so happy over the phone. awww....:) yeah.. really wish he could be like that everyday. that suits him the most. and one of the best thing to love about him :)
kawaii.. laugh so much today.. he must be smiling big.. i know:)

hm.........
...wow.. what a night. .never look at the time. lost track of it.. but really whats important is the birthday boy is happy.

ah.. yes.. my first time bbq at east coast.. ha.. even washed chicken at the bowling toilet basins just to defroze the wings. haha. o well..
left with camping with a tent there.. never done before.. ha.
ah... my first time see how the ppl trying to set up the bbq.. start fire.. me even help to wrap some of the food..
yeah.. nice...


mata