wish came true

wow .today i received a dream news. wow.... though happy and ecited, yet there's shocks, fear and yea...
u know. too much to consider about. so i need to ask lot of questions and all..
but i fevrything goes well, the hardest part wouldbe be to tell my parents about it
haiz.

but im trying not to think too much first. nor put hopes up too high in case nothing happen. though gm alrdy approved my request.  but nvr knows. skali visa prob.. and money prob... or parents object badly? i dunno.
so i'll do my best not to think too much and be upset. wl lse ehow first thing first .

so yea.
,mm... o well
but its a gd news nonetheless. been praying and wishing for so many years. .finally...
so yea. jsut a short part of blog about that

gosh so slpey.

oh so funny. sm asked if i wanna treat her earlier on. cos she say she tlaked to rgm about it.. then somethign happened.. rgm then yea

anywayyyyyy

so she was saying how she wanna buy the pandora charms. ha. i wanted to say treat her lunch. but she heard as treat her a charm. so ok lor. anway she did treat me times before. so yea.
then she treated me lucnh . so full

im so tired and slpy now. no energy .totally tired.
im so slpy right now. looking forward to slp

ao yea.. so many thoughts goign through my mind. but.. .o well .
wil ldo myself not to stress myself out or yea  ukjow.

o well..
haiz.

what sort of life do i want anyway...

mata

rip cory

ok gonan blog fast.

just had a very nice make me smile very happily non stop  long concversation with sammy ove the phone texting away ^^
love it. hehe yay

yay foun my ring. though..  the opal necklace still .haiz. at least i got mmy ring back =) happy desu

si sad.
the cory from glee show news. ..sighs. after rehab.. he still cant get over drugs =(
i can picture how lea his gf is grieving right now.
like. .eevrythign seems fine.. then suddenly imagine somebody tell u  ur partner is dead. you'll be like. ....what? joking or what?
how can it be. and there'll be lotssssssssss of WHYyyyssssss
=( rrly sad .
sighs. in the end he stil lgets defeated by drugs. now leaving griefs and sadness behind the ppl he loves. and the ones who love him
sad indeed =(
talented young man gone just like that. all because of .... haiz

cant he do his best to give up drugs for her?
even at the risk of her leaving him, he still wanna do it? =/
but i understand how hard it is fo rhim. maybe he's not used to being so healthy... without drugs.. so he gone back to it.

btu .. poor thing.. his gf. this news...

be it which ever way round.. ur partner is all good. everybody thinks  he or sh eis fine and looking at their best.. then suddenly the death news drop.
wth.
life huh.
so fragile.

he couldve have a beautfiful life ahead with her iwth childern.. with nice career but.. all 's too late now

can feel the pain of his gf. sighs =(
so sad
worst call ever to get. worst2 part is. al lthose questions. why. why3 . why did he do it. what was he thinking before he decided to do it.
eetc.
duno true anot. read that she was readin ghis last tex msgs.. and voice mail. .trying to learn what is going on. .any clues. .why.. .
of course its a human nature hing to do. search through the very last few moments togeher spend and said.

haiz.
how could he do that and left ppl so heartpain.. .she dont deserve it. honestly, i dislike her. that one long story. but yea i don like her. but.. i pity her now. so yea .

anyway,
saw this the mis sg. omg. the winners all. ..sorry to say =/... not very attractive leh. omg. .... what the..... haiz.
and one of the bikini pic i saw from the yahoo news, this girl, holy cow. so friggin skinny!!!!!! her waist.. omg........ sh eneeds food!!!!!!!!! this kind of girl not pretty. so uncool =/
rrly .. sorry to say. ugly =/
cant stand it.
so much liek a skeleton
anywa yea the winners.. .haiz. plus the candidates, all not attractive. all very normal looking.
why ar.

haiz

kk gtg rush for slp! mata!!!

real name

soooo slpy. just a quick post thn imma off to bed

soooo crowded. though yes its a little busy. but too crowded .very sianz.
ytd worst.

soemreo took me so long to calm my btoh swollen eyes... .haiz.
rrl no mood to work ne.
o well
over alrdy ba. so ... uh huh

ha. jsut recalled. met my tamp customer .the one i asked him if thats his real name when i signed him up for member. he still reemmebr . lol.
that time my colleague thought its other girl .so say quit alrdy. but its me . i was out for break or something when he arrived that time. hahaha.
luckily its alright. i tol dhim i didnt quit. luckily he nvr mention the fake name part. so paiseh.
only ask casually la. maybe he think it sfunny too.
long story. back to one yr agao when i was sill at tamp

anyway,

soo slpy. kk gtg . heading off to bed. eyes closing. been looking at pandora.

when i wore it for the first time todya, like.. ok ba. didnt feel anythign too wow or special. though i do like it.
but yea. still thinking how nice itis if its from sammy. then when i waer it, the feeling wwouldve been so totally different.
will be more special and close to the heart feel .get what i mean?
he say one day will make one for me. ha. o well ..i'll wait ba. til lthat day come.

fo rme, i think its always one of the best thing when ur important love one gib u something to wear everyday.
ring, bracelt, necklace, earrings... yea.
though i seldom waer earrings now cos sometimes it hurts

kk gtg. so late liao

mata

tears and heartache

today bro bought me the pandora charm. was supposed to be happy but
guess i made a worng stupid joke.

then we had a tiff

then cried so badly..
its lie havin gmy heart break once again..
thats what u expect isnt it. .when u han dover ur heart to the one u love.

bad thing was. i couldnt even stop cryinginfront of my dad. thogh i locked my room, i think they stil lcan hear. i was kidna near my door. and was crying out loud.
no wonder mum asked soemhting like. .if im alright or waht. cant rememebr. too tramatised

my family like that one..
and im glad they do..
cos. .doubt i can handle if they come over and ask me whats wrong. .then give me advide.. etc.. lovey dovey.. i ratehr they stay away for me.. and leave me alone
thogh its not the best option. but . yea.

i had some bad thoughts .. rrly bad thoughts

not gonna sy it here ba
its unhealthy
but yea

so this is how unimporant i am

can just htroaw awya liek that eh

cant stop crying.
heartache .. is so painful
so painful i can die

hoow would u have treasted me

wated to eat 6 pandaldos at one shot.

had four now.

ha. first one dropped and roleld to bro side. had a shocked. luckily he was tlaking on phone. and apssed me back the pill
don think he suspected anyting ba

so tired of life
everday is a struggle

so depress right now. at htis moment. day tiem thogh was getting better. .guess i was wrong

dunno who started this.. i don even wanna start any argument.
think i wanna hrurt myself isit

i wonder how can i stop myself from crying to slp tonight. seems hard. v hard.

k ba. gonna have another two pills then go slp liao.

nobody wil lknow anyway

so tired. .so tired

dunno whast the meaning of al lthese

jaa

negative vibes

oh no tmr sure slpy

so... today... so sianz. feelign so down sianz and negative. superbly negative. 

=.= haizzzzzzzzz

i think its nothing to do with my time of month after all. 

now im thinking clearly of life. 

and its depressing. 

im trying not to dwell on those too much .but cant help it. 

woke up, and was like. .gosh. i think i had another bad birthday. 

maybe it wasnt that bad? but i was feeling rrly bad tats all eh? 

i dunno anyway its over now. nothing special

slpy now. 

lol. tmr having a xmas theme in store. uh huh. u heard tat right. oh i mean later . haha .5months in advance the xmas celebration. geez=.= 

funny eh haha

anyway, 

yup. 

so much to do whenevr new stocsk arrived

maybe.. jsut maybe. .tmr i'l lbe more positive eh

sighs

wishing its my off day alrdy.. 

mata

bored girl

mm think ive wasted my day ne.

gosh bad day it is. =/
feeling sulky all day.
cept for the part when i made a nice looking yummy salad.
anyway,

still feeling sianz ne.
all day in room online n movie.
didnt even feel like reading my book =(

headcche now .
feel like slping ealry

sighs

just so bored out of my wits

extremely bored. cant even smile

=/

haiz.

thought i'll feel better today.
but guess not

jaa mata

b'day home celebration

ahh... so.. i wont say its the perfect bday ba.

just feeling gloomy.. then yes.. time of month is here=.= feeling extra sianz.
now also =/
then runny nose whole day.

went to hosiptal . glad mum is considered as ok. so see the doc six weeks later. in the meantime, must eat more outside food huuuuuu=/
and se emy aunt. huuuuuuuu sianzzzzzzzzz

so yea. bought ice cream cake. wanted to get small. but bro say bigger better. more worth it. glad i bought the big one. cos its yummyyyyyyyyyy everyone say so. even dad.
ha. bro finally said happy birthday to me this morning=.= like oh he suddenly recalled. then dad.. he nvr say leh. din hear. but yea. awkward for himmaybe?

my very first own birthda cake. hehe. so yummy

so .. no pandora.
bros ay another day.. huu
then me deicede to change my mind and get myself another bday gift. online ebay pandora lor. haha
not bad ba.

gosh so slpy when i got home. cos not enough slp and suddenly wakey by mum plus runny nose whole day. =( what a birthday of mine eh. =/.=
basically its jsut the same.

oh had a grand lunch today at paradise dynansty(i think ) v nice. had always wanted to try there.
so yea

mm.. mum cant see yet.. hopefully soon. very soon

so slpy. nid to slp soon. though say only. haha.

was talkig the toerh day. with my colleague. its like we girls seems to be able to tell the guys thigns that happened.. or tlak about our fren blah3.... but they usually just keep it to themsleve. guess thats just a man thing eh. O.o o well.
 perhaps noting worth tlaking is what they think.

slpyyyy omg.

mm... wanna go out also ..ust think twice. cos feelbad leaving mum alone at honme. haizzzzzzim going bonker. =( been depress for way too long.

then soemmore today voucher thing called by sm.. dunno la.
just rrly bothers me.

tch

its rrly not a gd day eh

now that period is here, i hope i will feel more vibrant soon. happier.
cos now i still dwells on the negative. sad mode. =(
cant cheer up.
sighs

gosh eyhes closing. gonna hit the sack soon

mata

happy birthday

haha ..so silly of me. at the strike of midnight i was waiting.. but.. .seems liek for the first tiem ever, sammy didn't msg me any happy birthday msg .even when i aske dif theres anythig for him to tell me.
he forogt? or did he rememebr only when he saw my facebook? i dunno.
but yea.. first time ever.. guess there's always a first for everythign huh.

stil lrememebr. .he would call. .and one time he woul say he wanna be the first to post on my fb.. but tat time somebody beat him to it. so yea. 2 yrs ago isit? mm.. cant rrly rememebr

dunno ba.

i only just recalled. last yr who was the first to post on my fb,
yes. just only =.=
then this time round not  the first. but close.
im not even familiar with that so called fren in fb of mine=.=

anyway

a bad start eh.
ha

forget it

geesz. so my colleague. bf say.. wanna meet her.she say nvm.. .then he say its ok. he can meet. then later on, oh brothre coing to his house. cannot meet. sorry.
whilst i understand his sitaution, but then again, it aint his first time
stupid right.
wonder if guys will ever know how disappoointing tha tis to a girl
haiz

anyway

yea.
cant wait to hear the result of my mums tmr checkup. wish her luck peeps. her eye sitll abit swollen

not looking forward to my bday. though im happy to receiveive pandora

i cant stay focus. im not happy =( sighs
previous previous bday was one of the worst.. cos sammy was gone form my life. he didnt even ms gme. at all. was out partaying day befor eo rsomething.. saw pic i dun wanna see ,
then last year. went zoo tired and all. .mum rrly too tired. wanna get cake she make noise also.. ocs cant wait to go home rest. hwihc i totally understood shes too tired out so no patience with me.
wanna go down dinner also .... go proble. anway
then now...
o well.see how tmr ba
 sighs

i sthis what they mean tby taking thigns fo rgranted eh.
dunno whats going on anymore

oh yea. my bro. hes playing game. nvrr say happy birthdya o me. maybe he saw i cried? dunno la.
guess im nothing huh


headache liao. nid rest soon. though think i'll still online then slp in bed

whatever ba
happy birthday

jaa mata

lovey dovey relationship

and so, somehow weirdly complicated enough,

...my colleague who's attached, had a crush on this concerige guy.. blah3.. guy foun out . then asked for her number. .then she gave.. yea. they're all connected. two girls my collegues. two guys know each other cos theyre form the conceirge.
shaha
 wth.
these ppl ar. so happening. spread so fast. though they jsut making frens only la.
somemore im pretty sure the girls still love their bf
 v v long n complicated to type in detail. so yea. imma skip that. strange. suddenly my company like so popular to the conceirfe ar

awww.. .so nice. was watching the youtube video bf does my makeup. haha. soooo swt . very handsome bf with this famous youtuber.
the way they interact talked and play ard.. awww and at the end of video he gib her kissy on cheeks. soooooooooooooo sweeeettttttt remoinded me of sammy =( huuuuuu
wish can do that everyday.

that kinf of lovey action if one of those thigns couple forgets after years down the road.. after children.. focusing on moneyh etc..
they forget how to be happy with little lovey things. .actions.. words.. .hugs and touches..
i find that. .rrly ..a pity. ppl shld nvr forget that. for love is such a hard to come by thign. if maintained well enough, it can blossom.. ifnot, it will be missed.

anyway, jjsut wanna say.. haiz.. rrly misses those interactions with sammy.. i'll always be smiling =/
sighs.. now im jsut gloomy and frowning most of the time =/

had such a terrible cold in the middle of night. then at work worse. =/ finally stop runny. but rrly nid rest. guess imma rest then

oh yea. my colleagues knew i wan pandora. haha .they gib me viouchers. todya i bought it. yayyyyyyyyy =)
just bracelt only la =. =
slowly then get charms.
itsnot as special as the feeling i get if its form sammy. but still, glad the bracelt is in my hands now.

kk. gtg ba.

mata

depressing days

just a quick blog here.

gonna slp soon. since nothing much to do anyway

stil lfeeling depressed=( been so many days now sighs. didnt feel any better=/
couldve done so many htings today. btu jsut didnt feel liek it. all i ddi was online

finally had my pics al lup. yea. finally.
but nid to take some pics out in order to protect sammy. so yea. otheriwse if his family or frens foudn out, he'll be in trouble. still, wish i couldve taken more pics. but sa u know. i don rrly like taking pics whilst im walking alone. cos its'll be obvious to ppl that im a tourist. aka danger lurking. then whilst holding hand with sammy, of course cannot take la. haha.
one hand only.

slpy. omg. its such a boring off day=(
online3... im so bored

woke up today first line in my head was ' im so happy to be off''. haha.
yea. cos i rrly thoght i was working .was like. .so slpy n tired whne wakey.. then draggy feeling. .then.. hey im off! haha.

yea. someitmes rrly duno i work or not . everday is the same.
and like i'd said.. its not a gd sign. not a gd sign that im waking up, and not looking forward to work .
still am abit ba.. just not that much.
sighs

mustve been the period time coming nearer n nearer... i feel super depressed=((( nothing can cheer me up.
sighs.
=(

k ba. better go take a rest. cant wait for monday.
even if theres no celebration, at least im still alive.

oh yea speaking of which. this angmoh lady. ordered this photo book. so swt of her. do it for her daughter 21st birthday. studying in london now. got all her pics. .from little to now. frens msgs. .teachers.. from over the world. .she amke so much effort for her daughter. so her daugheter is flying to brisbane for birthdya celebration first.. then come to singapore on her birthdya to meet her partetns as her parents living in sg now.
after which she will fly back to london again .
so happening eh. rlry lucky this girl .

i asked my colleguae if his 21st birthday also like happening as hers?
he say no. jus tnormal. dinner.
me too. plus a 21st birthdya cake.
though nothing fancy.. nothin much. i rrly envy that girl. but ya know waht. i always tell myself. think. think of the poor kids. african children.. .blah3.. there're worst case than me.. who knwos. maybe no cake for them. no family... yea... i try to think this way.. if not.. i'll be really sad. its not nice to envy and jealous too much yea.
rrly .o well.

thats why i hated brats so much.
was telling my other colleague the other of what happened. remember the girl with her fren? put her item on table then jsut walk out of store. whilst i was tlaking baout it, haha. gosh. my anger stil lthere sia.
rrly. still pissed off and getting all worked up talking about it.
sianz.

k ba. saign such thigns only make me depressed more =(

better go slp now.
sighs

will tmr be a gd day... i wonder=/

mata

bf/suitors

mm.. wanted to blog soemthing about from las tnight post.. regarding my fren...forog twhat liao=.= agani.

my memory ar..

anyway,
so. hahaha. my fren decided to meet that guy. lol. omg. she also cant believe she agreed either.
told u he's got experience or something. very smart and pro. wahhhh after dinner brought her up to ion sky garden look at night view!!!!! free duh he worked at this mall mah. so pro sia. =.= so many trickls' up his sleeves. lol
anyway, told her what. .he disliek lying. .he rrly wanna be with her etc... hahha.
omg. hes so straight forward man XD
anyway, asked her out again. but my fren say not too soon.

funny thign is. well. .actuall its common for guys  ba?
she say it seems as though her bf can 'sense' that she's contacting abbnother guy. so like msg her really nice now. XD hahaha. how he sense i also dunno. he's in army ne.
anyway, since she'd alrdy told him that she wanted this sat to spend with him entirely just the two of them celebrate third year anniversary, he shoudlve make sure that happen. how can any guy decidedei to spend it with his frens?
omg .
at least last week ok la. he wan, she no choice even though sad. but this week again? =/ wth.
treat her as what. =.=
gf wanna celebrate, then do it la. somemroe shes working. he only free in weekend. cant spend it with her meh?

another colleagu of mine who just quit, rrly lucky. her bf . ha. she always post photos of her n bf. her bf also very swt. now they in taiwan .=) will fetch her to and from work. buy her gifts.. bought her mini ipad leh. somemore arrange chalet for her. wow. think he;s rich ba? anway, she sa down to earth gd girl .rrly happy for her =)
lucky girl.

wahhh saw my manager mac book air . wahhh so slim n small. super thin. only 1300 plusplus
quite ok ba?
though its smaller

anywayyyyyyyyy back to my fren.
hahha. this guy ar. rrly know what to say to a girl u knwo .somemore so thick skin. know got bf liao still wanna come in between them. though he know la. cos the guy liek. .ignoring her or din treat her well enough. .thats why she told him. more of confide ba?
duno real anot. somemore say his ex gf birthday same as hers. lol
XD
but yea. ask her to givec her bf up. wahhhhh this guy ar. he very brave u knwo =. =advances so strong. omg. =.= not a compliment k

poor mum. her neck still aching. haiz. i can understand... =/ head down look down 3third day liao. non stop. sianz... even slping also facing down =/ sighs
hopefully few more days be over soon

ahahahah. today very funny. kena twice goign 'whoa!!' whne customers approached me. first one. jsut about to get up after throwing rubbish at counter, then this lady asked me for direction. like the moemnt im up, her head pops out. lol
i wa slike whoa! XD
she also paiseh la.

then another one. this one abit funny . very funny. so this three frens. looking for gift thigny. i was serving them. but the main perosn approached and asked me lotsss of questiosn about htis gift box. ask so many questions sia. =.= soemmore at a fast speed. how much, how much total, free? doe sthies come wwith it? blah3w... asked non stop sia. question after question i ahev to wreck my brain to reply him correctly. =.= gosh. anyway, he gave out that u know what vibe. yes. the danger, must stay away, in case anoher onlooker stalker vibe. but he's a decent guy la. but somethigns not right when he's looking sraight at me. liek i'd said. i trust my gut feelings now. almost accuate. so yea.
luckily too exp, htey decided not to buy.

so here coems the funny part. apprantly whislt talkign to my colleagues, suddenly i noticed he's back withe his fren.
then i continue chatting la. skali...... lol.
i was abou to turnmy head or what .he say 'hi'. i was like quite loudly, 'whoa!!'. and i literally moved back, and banged or crashed onto the greeting card wall. with both hands wide apart palms down on the card wall. lol.
like totally in shocked. XD forgot whether i said hi back. but yea. my frens all laughed haha. XD
very comical i tell u .

like i'd said before. someitmes i can be so funny u know. like so comical. unexpected. jsut. ..funny in a out of the blue way. liek i din try, its jsut natural fo rme to say or the way i act. haha. funny la. i can be so comical someitmes.
too many sides in me ba. .ow ell
dunno gd or bad thing

mm.. still thinking what to do on my bday. should be another normal day ba. dinner plus cake. still thinking of getting ice cream cake. .though it cost a bomb huuT_T

slpy liao. abit. but too full T_T
runny nose huu. gonna be sick soon . hopefull not. cough sill here and there.

yawn...

mmm.. wha els.e. .

o well. thats all i can rememebr fo rnow ba

gd thign my fren still love her bf. he's either 26 or 27 this year. no wonder so experienced. hahaha. my fren only 19 ne. haha .though her parents also 10yrs apart or what. but ye aseems liek she doesnt like it.

wah.. rrly ar. so fas tne. how can a guy say leave ur bf, and be with me.. this kind of words.. when he din msg her for even a week leh. only a few days. mm... he rrly attack strongly eh. comes on strongly.

hmm hoep i wont forget to eat med later

mata

Taking her for granted

ok. much to blog tonight. lets get started

so sad.. this young girl.. famous youtuber.. after her fight with cancer... sadly.. she left htis world... honestly, i don like her. i find her abit irritating with the way she talk. but . i only once once or twice her video so ya. then.. but i know shes a brave girl. many ppl and youtubers are sad over her passing. =/ but yea..

another one.. cory. the lead actor in glee. he's famous. handsome. nice. great voice. im not a huge fan of gleee nor him. but i know he's a gd average guy. but din know he's a drug addict. he's dead. this news.. .so shocking to the world and his fren. plus his poor gf=/
how could anyone leave behind the ppl they love without explainging?!

news satetd that.. his freinds saw him 2 days before and so. he was happier and healthier. better.
no one knows why he died htis way. herione plus alchole

then
u know. like i'd said long time before. rememebr?
if a person.. who is depressive, thats not the time u should be worried most. the tiem and moment u shld be worried most is when that person suddenly changed to be happier. why? becaus ethey've decided to end their life. carefree alrdy. decision made.
hence they appeared to be happier.
like gotten better, nothgins wrong. everythign's fine. tats when u shld be rrly worried and take note of that person.

anyway, its sad. rrly sad. so wasted. his future... and all. =/
sighs

anywya
haiz

my fren. so this conceirge guy always standing in front of our store like i'd said before. they always changes. so one of them asked for her number.
chinese. my fren's malay but looked like chinese.
blah3.... today she say skali he mistook her fo rme. lol!
cios long story./ basically his congerige colleage got her number when she lost her item and retrieve it. so must leave her name n number etc.
anyway,
yea. cos someitmes ppl mistook me fo rmalay =.= cos im tan ba.,
so yea. anyway, i doubt so baO.o
but shes attached. so jsut making fren only. she will tell her bf soon.

POINT is.
see. this guy is smart. not too pushy. say i love u to her. LOL.
don mistaklen .my fren say too fas.tsomemore she stil llike her bf.
cant imagien be with a chinese nice guy. he's willing ot convert into muslim too haha.
anyway, yea. he's nice she said

she also complain about hopw her bf in army now. then keep going out with fren. third yr anniversayr sat also cnaot copany her whole day. say what at night go woodlands.
wth. taking her for granted again>????
that same guy la. that time smitten with the girl... then blah3... broke off with her abit.. hen soon ask her back. soemmore treat her so well....
now different story. thast the bloody problem with guys!!!!!
nvr cherish!!!! >:(((((

anywya, yea. he's smart. so she told him what happened about sat her bf don wan meet her whoel day...
she see him as her future. so she cant see that chinese guy to be the future.
chinese guy was like.
''u see him as your future, but does he see you as his future???''
then shes liek.. yea he's right.

SEE. i told u he's clever right.
=.=
know how to tackle' girl's heart and weakness.
thats why. ppl liek hin can get in between a relationship easily.  ppl liek her bf doesnt know how to cherish. cherish the first part, 2nd part left her aloen most of the bloody time. pissed off for her i knwo. she sa  nice girl mah. somemore my fren >:(
sianz.
but yea she will tell him about this chinese guy soon.
wth.
gf wan go out with u, u chooses be with ur fren most of the bloody tiem. wth .
argh
jsut so pissed off fo rher

so yea. not gonna be her fault entirely if the chinese guy succeeded. though i doubt so as i cna tell she's not used to guy liek him.
she said he's too nice lol

dunno guys are made of wood or what. sometimes they're so insensitive.. too insensitive.. =/ sighs. o well....
waht to do.. guys mah.
they shld reflect on themselves too. don expect front part being swt n nice, the later on part not so nice will keep u in their heart still.
girls are not stupid.

haiz.

anyway, my fren went taiwan with her bf now. so nice... .expore taaiwan. someitems hear form frens who they go travelling with bf. so niec .ive always wanted to experience that too.

ok . so. i walked past this guy with girl right. think they belong to a giupr of frens.anyway i was serving customer so din noticed. as i wlaked past, i thought from the corner of my eye i saw him turn to look at me.. i was like .ok la. mayb e he's lookign elsehwere. or just look. as u know. guys always sneak peak at girls=. =used to it. but sianz. so i just ignored him and busy my thing.
then i do cashiering. skali this girl with him, pukled him to the counter. apprantly this other girl is fren of this guy and girl.
so yea. she was like pushing him to say somehting. then he tell me. you have a ncie face' .or u have a pretty face. i cant rememebr as i was too shocked. i think he said nice face. hten i was stunned. rlry stunned. O.O i was like. .eh..err...huh? huh? i lok back and forth at his frens. wa slike... what did i just heard?? O.o
then his frens was like.. don mind him., he's crazy. i was liek..hUH//? orh.. huH? still very stunned and confused. lol. of course i kept my eyes on the girls la. =.=
then finish off the transaction. lol
 very weird. i was completely caught offguard and .. my fac.e lol .so funny. tat stunned and surprised look of mine .gosh .classic=.=

sm been staying in backrrom. claimging to do her paperwok. i wonder.
its like. i duno. when i was alone and busy, i also didnt stay in there so long.
maybe she srlry bbusy ba. or is she trying to avoid facing the mystery sho**er?
o well. i dunno. but yea. .still busy in the store room.. dunno do what ne
she's better now compared to in the past..

anyway, haiz.
today whoel day. . dunno what to do. just feelign so damn down =/
sighs. before work still feeling wanna cry. sighs.......... now still feelign terrible =(
dunno what i wanna do ba.
i feel so sianz. about alot of thigns.
nothing seems to resolved. argh. msutve been the period coming. hate it. playing with my head so much. sighs. feel so depressed =(

so much thigns. cant expect me to typ ethese all out to sammy. ha.
o well .
doubt he could too with the thigns happening in his life

sianz. negative thoughts. .so much.. .these days... making me worse=(((
hoep will be over soon

mata ne

update - mummy

sooo wanted to blog ytd. but too slpy. rrly way too slpy n tired
texted bro.. at first felt like wanna cry.. then ok la.. like when the itme for her opt getting nearer.. then yea my heart felt weird n v uneasy=/
then bro say he like wanna cry too(i msg him wrongly..meant for smamy lol)
then he say shes v brave. like the moment she prepared to go in, v scary like tat.
then yea... i broke down. tch=/ sighs....
yea.. shes always been brave... very.
..haiz.
anyway,
just cried u know. today . now also.


so.. left the store earlier.. luckily i did. phew. met mum .. so poor thing. imagine bow down ur head. close eyes. 24hrs for 5 days (excluding ytd) .
sighs
neck sure pain. v bored. warm. =(
not a nice feeling im sure.
shoulder also pain. sighs. slp also. face down slp. =/
yea

misses sammy
then yea. .guess work. plus tiem of month coming la. .so everything all very.. u know. piling on me ne
=/
nid to stop crying

wish i couldnt off for more days to company her. but yea=/
can u imagien all alone facing down till late evening>? when dad is bck
i can relate to her abit more cos of what i'd experienced in the plabne recently.
knees hurts. totally borewd to the max. nothign to do. wanna slp cannot slp. slp alrdy wakey, tot one hour passed, but actulayy only 15mins... etc...
sighs
soemmore she nid to endure uncomfy slping position for a month ne.
=/
sighs
and also dunno when can she start work again. household chores we nid to helpno matter how tired we are. so yea.
just v tired and yea.. emtional draining. especially im the empathic tupe
so yea.
tats why certain thigns i'll rather not know. cos if i dom i'l lbe sad for ppl.
but of course, if i nid to know and able to relieve the other person, hten i'll rather know la.
rather than being not there for them
sucks

anyway

haiz
shes slping now. hope she can slp for long
she din slpt well,. or at all in the hospital

woke up rrly early toda din set alarm co stoo slpy luckily bro woke me jus ton time

so poor thing mum.. cannot be so energenetic liao=/ for now
rrly hope she will eb well asap .
at least move ard normally

my birthday i'll accompany her back to doc again.
guess my birthday will just be another normal eh.
abit worse than last yr. ha. o well. at least last yr still got zoo
ha
nvm ba
maybe jsut get myself a simple cake tats all
don think will take any pics la.
mum also cannot tak emah

o well... wat a day huh
mm..
maybe next year birthdya will be better huh? =/
wow. so soon.. .less than a weeks time, my birthday laio

tot can plan soemthing. outig or wat. o well.
nvm ba. just another ismple dinenr n cake.
wanted to get mysefl an ice cream cake. always wanted one. nvr had one before. cept for one slice form my fren's birthday party when i was a little girl
ha

i'd also alwasy wanted a aircon in my room.. n space...
so amny things. .yet not all can be fulfilled. .life's like that eh.
only fulfilled for htose with a golden spoon borned in their mouth. worse for the so called brats

mata

blankness on my face

=/ pouts. so bored. feel left out. sammy busy online.
tch. .dunno what to do.  owe ll. guess imma have to continue rush through my books again.
tmr is my mums opt. rrly hope everythning will go well.. these dasy are gonna be tough ba. sianz .aunt will be coming to help put the clothes out =(
paiseh ne. somemore we don talk at all. at least for me n bro. so yea.awkward. haiz

anywya, =/
mm.. maybe time of month coming .so been feelin not gd. like .. jsut not gd. oh ya. hope i wont fall sick. been coughing here n there. with a irritated throat. i shld be taking throat med by now. btu it nvr occured to me till now. ha. anyway i'll sure forget ,and i'll sure be like. .ahh nvm heck careXD troublesome la
when it comes to others ok. not when it comes to me ha

wow. rrly like karen millen clothing line. but. so expensive=( sighs. cant afford la.
but omg .her clothing line is elegant, posh, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy , femine, and yes oh so femine with elegant touch. rrly3.... gorgeous. everytime i walked past, their cdresses , omg. rlry. i like it so much. im not into branded. but this brand, rrly.. wow. amazing. all women shld own a piece from karen millen.

haiz......... super bored la. maybe after rush through books, can find a day like what sammy said.. go twitch? ya. too bored la. making me feel more down than ever= ( sighs

kk.. better get back into my book world.

tch. weighing a ton on me. things just.. yea. =/ i dunno .sighs

oh ya. today also blank face ne. totally couldnt put up a smiley face. . cant put up ay force front todya .
will leave tat for tmr ba=/

oh also slpy  causes my blank face too ba. cos wakey early suddenly out of the blue by my aunts knowcking on the door. delivering coffee powder. =.=
whenevr i get wakey halfway, tats it. my head not right liao .rly nid continue slp to cure it. but most of hte time once i wakey cant slp back liao. must wait till late aftnoon or wat=.=

haiz. kk.. jaa... think i better go ba. reading might do me help abit

oh and so sad. the glee star is dead=( so young. so talented. sighs. and good personailityi htink) .=/ wonder if its the limelight that causes him to... haiz. celebrities... many dead becaus eof rugs, stress, love, blah3.. not easy to be in the lime light either. and the bad influences=/ wasted.. .rrly.. sighs
mata

Stupid customer!

too tired n busy to blog

anwyay, mm..... sm still can noticed somethigns wrong with me today. i looked blank' kind... maybe me still htiking  abt rgm matter sighs

anway, =/

oh had a happy dream. in dream, me happy. went to australia. wow. so vivid. so nice.. rrly.

mm.. will blog briefly maybe.. just still trying to u know. make sense of everything =/

anyway.was telling sammy the other day. saw this customer in my store. shes weird looking. alot of makeup on, but.. .her features.. oh my god.
it slike. her nose is unusally long and straight. her dimple, is the scariest ive ever seen =.= so deep, it pentrates into her cheek. yea. very ugly deep dimple when she smield.(gomen)
but its true. her nose also. .so fake looking. too straight. its not nice=/
shes young. but maybe shes rich to undergo the knife. maybe im wrong. but i dunno. its.. .brrr... .igives me the shivers=./=
too unatural =/
alot of ppl now undergo the knife due to their favourite korean singers and actresses influences. =/ so yea... haiz.

anwyay,
speaking of which. so fed up. u know how ppl or celebrities always claimed that their photos are bareface natural looking pics .. .then upload and caption bareface. .. going to slp. .etc... omg. please.
please3. look carefully ba. the pic. theri so called no makeup on face.
why look pretty gd?
because it may be..

concealer

lightly powdered face/tinted moistrizer/base foundation/primer on

lightings

Photoshop. duh=.= they know how to use for sure eh

eyebrows alrdy drawn

photo apps(smooth out skin etc)

bit of blush

etc etc etc

celebrities mah. u think they stupid ar? =.=
let everyoen in this world see their acne scars, pimples, short brows thin non existent brows and all..
argh. rrly irritating. ppl stil lthink oh so beautiful.. .etc3... .
*facepalm

fans mah.. what to do. cant blame them=.= but yea.
its so obvious the 'tricks' they used. then claimed oh goig to bed.. show no makeup look face. .oh just woke up.. no makeup look face.

=.= o well

mm........ slpy.
gosh. tot ive found the best appp. but guess what. wats app can video too. better quality i think? somemore can be saved in album right. ?
i haven check. but yea. bro just told m.e i was like... whattt???? i din know. thast why dl snapchat. ./=.= omg....
sammy didnt tell me either. dunn ohe knows anot

anwyay
haiz........ why am i not feelign happy now=( sulky.

sighs

btw, today met these two girls. shoukld be ard my age. or younger abit?
tis girl, can tell maybe she oversea study or what. abit of accent. her fren.. dunno signaporean or what. din notice. but still can tell this girls accent mized abit with singlish tone. cos when she speaks with me, its in singlish . as in not jialet singlish type hor. then she talked to her fren abitore accent.
anyway.... so bloody rude.
took two of our products, walk3... then keep saying what.. so expensive.. then nvm. don buy its ok. gues swha.t i was standing nearby them behind. she left the bloody items on the gondola, and walk away with her frens. out the store they went. WTH. cant she passed to me?????? if other adults.. .or old ppl i understand. hello????? u study in uni or what????? what such ill manners is this!??? hoenestly. so stuckup. bloody hell. rrly pissed off with ppl like this >:(

proper basic manner dunno isit. this one, sure beomce a mother who dunno how to teach her childern in duture. bloody hell. rrly cannt stand ppl like that. dunno shes rich anot. but IF she rrly did study overseas, pls . at least be more polite. so bloody rude.bloody2 rude!!!!! rrly u know. angry. i just cant stand ill manner spoilt child brats. with or without money. don show off. and dont be proud. be humble. it will get u everywhere one day.
stupid girl.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

mata

recent stresses

mm.. tonight.. i feel so stress.. due to work stuff... .rrly3.... stresss/= =/. i didnt know what to do. .how to handle it. ..yea. just. .stress...
and then.. luckily.. i get to skype with sammy.. so yea... at this moment, at this point of tiem, i am so glad tht im able to relac abit.. i totally froget about my stres,,,... even for  a few hours.

i am v slpy n tired. but yea.
,,.. hmm.. i rrly hope tmr will be fine .

why did i feel bad. me dunno eithher

so much going on in my head.. about work.. i rrly nid to .. sigsh... clear them out. and i dunno how. so sudden out of hten blue.
so tressed out. sighs

but yea. .at first rrly nid him. but din get to msg hin alot. think he busy with work n games.  then he skype with me.. yea. abi also meant alloto to me. ha.
but yea.... so ncie =)

now he nid to go liao.. but yea..
mm.. dunno tmr how.. but .... no matter what . i just wish to be nearer to him thats all..

been a tough evening n night fo rme.. wish me luck peeps..

sighs.

i wish i can be stronger and fiercer .

due ot mums opearation, if she rrly cant wash clothes for weeksx, i think imma help her woth that. by hands, she might stop me. and i might have tio do only in night. byut eya... (cos imworking) .. i rather her be safe.
anway, ive learnt how to wash clothes by hands before. so not a prob for me. its kinda fun. but.. tired whne im a grown up. cos i nid to work. .then after work wash clothes.. abit toguh ..see how ba. will discuss ..



mata

Happiness with him =)

heyyyyyyyyyyyyy omg im back!!!!!!
as in my internet is back on phew... but somehow theres still some probs going on so yea..

anyway, i dun even know where to begin! been so many days. felt liek forever .gosh terrible ne to use small phone online.. anyway

am sick today. not so serious. but down with a headache n runny nose=/ just feeling weak and all. huuu terrible. so weak. then just rest in my room all day. haiz... and just liek tahta, my day off is over.
still tired. i need more rest

dunno why my sm said to me.. that i looked tired ytd. and the day before. like very quiet.. she thought something is bothering me. but no leh. im ok.

ohhhhhh hehehheeh so happy =D went into pandora and saw sydney opera house charm!!!!!!!! $71. my fren say its cheap =.=; i was like.. mm... eh.. still exp la... but well pandora mah. what u expect ne.
so yea. ive even went in. my wrist size suits a 17 cm.. wait. inches> ? anwyay, its yea 17. for adult bracelt. the standard one. luckily the lady kind enough to tell em when i asked her which is better and wahts the difference between the bangle and standard type of bracelt. she told me the bangle will. . dunno waht3 . but the orginal one , no matter what, will never what3..... the what 3... stands for dunno i forgot what she said. .dunno isit will dent. .or rust.. i think she meant dent. hahha i was so excited that i didnt pay attention. anyway, yea. was rushing back to work mah. haha. asked whils ti was omw to toilet. cos not much customer there. but soon after, crowded again. rrly u know. everyday full of crowds intheir small store. poor sales ppl there=/ so busy. omg.
they must handle everyone . only 2 or sometimes 3 staffs only. jialet.

mm.. what els.e

oh u know. theres like 10 iut of 10 men all help their wives push stroller, or/and carry the baby on their body. u knwo those carrier thingy.. u wrap ard ur body n put ur baby in it so ur baby is ight in front of ur chest.
sammy doesnt seem to be u know.. willing to do that kind of man . like. .cant rrly picture him willing to do ba. but then i guess its gonna be years before he become a father. who knwos eh. ha. anyway yea. its impressive. like. .they are actually enjoying it! =) help push.. and sometimes carry baby at the same time.. u know right. soemtimes the baby 'pouches' is not the best manly looking design.. though theres balck n alll.. but yea. its liek wow. everytiem i see the men rrly willing to do that for their wives ne. O.o very impressive. and thoughtful plus swt. even my sm husband also. somemore hes; very very tall. and skinny. but he wear the baby pouch and yea with the baby in front of him.

anywayyyyyyyy lol. reminded me of when me and sammy almost step into the baby deparment in supermarket, he's liek nono baby. no looking at baby stuff. somethign liek that. hahaha. so cute la he. very funny. hes so humourous. love him to bits. ^^
rrly miss him.

he asked me send him a pic of me smiling. i wonder if hes feelign down=/ cos few yrs back after work.. he also asked me smile for him.. then he say.. ok , he's feeling better alrdy. huuu... rrly hope he's ok.. =/

its scary to trust someone with ur full heart . i handed mine into his hands.. and yea, 5 years and 5months plus gone, im still very happy. happy now. of course every relationship have its ups and downs.. tears and joy.. but righ tnow, im still feeling very happy. in fact, more tha ever. especially now i know who am i to him. =)
so yea. everyday i think of him. looknig forward to see him again very soon. rlry hope so

haiz. .mum goin for her op soon. she say no nid take leave leh.. to company her. =/ hooep she'll rrly be strong. luckily next day after her op im off. can see her liao

what els.e. mm.. .gosh i cant think liao. but yea. jsut the main thing. .im happy now. he makes me so happy  too. happiness desu =)
rrly cherish desu..
one day, can live with him ne..? i hope soon.. can feel he love me so much. ^^

i rrly enjoyed my australia trip. he did too. =) which is totally awesome. =)

oh ya. huuu lost my opal ring. sighs=( ..... i dunno why no fate with opal isit.. ... haiz.... its rrly nice though. its uniqueness.. the colours. .so magical.. tats why i like.
but ow ell... =/

mata ! so great to blog again =) and sharing my thoughts plus feelings.