Arrested

todya runny nose whole day. very tired. very sick. got news. imma cut it short. cos im so heartpain and drained to type all these unhappiness

so yea. that jerk confesses to the police he stole my money. somemore stil lccan lie to my bro and tell him no he din take my money. what. trying to gain sympathy from bro and persuade me to give up? gth.

anwyay, seems liek imma get my full amount of money back. so polivce shall be my witness. luckily i ask him to be. but then agai i'll have to see him again. sianzzzzzzzzz
i rrly do not wish to se ehim,
=((( i wish someone cold accompany me there. huuuuu
im so tired of all this.. so.. heart draining...

and i cant believe he stil lgo find bro. wtfffffffff

turned out that he used to do dirty acts too. in his previous company. and also kept borrowing money from his colleagues
omg

im so tired.. and angry... i cant tka eanymroe of this shit.

eeven when wlking back home i was so worried.. so scared.... scared he'll wanna talk to me and god knows what... .
my mum rrly pity him. so???  whos gonna pity me?
only when i die in sydney isit????/

bro's tlaking on th ephoen now. i have a feelign its redz / why must redz keep using bro? or is bro under a spell??
sighs.
very heart pain cos my family pity adn love redz... ended up not siding with me much.... ...
only my frens are. and sammy.
i feel so unprotected. .veyr insecure..
=/
..
like no one care about me
sighs

....
i really dont wish to come home tonight u know.
sighs
fri how. the thoguht of seeing him irks me

seems that he msg our mutual frne he dunno where to get the 1500 money.
so??? my problem ar???
he;d better get the bloody money on time.
i als mah. no money still must pay fren back 800 first. imagine how i survive that
he can go sell off his laptop, house, whatever for all i care
i dont wan to be soft hearted like my family.

once u broke my trust, dont expect i'll ever forgive u, and thigns will be the same azs before.
i wont treat u gentle and nice sweet no longer. dream on.

....

im so heart pain now. .

ad i rrly wish he's here right now.. at least wont hav to go through this so tough..
will han gon desu. till the frightful friday is here.. .=((
i don think im strong enough to withstand all these now.. im breaking down...
=(

if not because of my frens n him, ..haiz. i rrly don know what to do. like. .no support at al.
at least can msg them my worries and all.
so yea. at least get osme advice and stuff

i think ..sammy show his concern in some other ways ba..
perhaps a guy's way.
i dunno
they have their own kind of ways for guys huh

dunno what to say to bro later. ...
sighs....
nah. i don feel liek talking to ppl who don... o well

i rrly doesnt feel liek tlaking at all.
im sick.. runnig a fever i think. .i dunno .im very unwell now

soul and pysical...

so thirsty...

just now stomach growling real bad... but not hungry. soemmroe no appetite... imma forgo my dinner ... yea.. hurry bath and rest then slp.

just wish.. if only my life can get a lil happier like his.
if only i can play2 some board games too.. laughing it away... at least i......

remind me again .. why are there so much misery, and little bit of happiness left in me..
i kept the darkness closed. but... sometimes they gushes out like now.
diminishing what lil left of my happiness.

i really have no mood to work.
but.. am doing my best ba..
see how. ....
i really dread friday.. who will keep my compan there.. .so early.. who ..... =(

jaa

heartbroken in another way

how i really wish to have him by my side.... like now. =(
its so tough fo rme... sighs.. .
these few days i no appetite.. only had abit of lunch.. lil bit of dinner..
then ytd oculdnt slp till about almost 5am. then wakey on n off to check phone.. cos very worried.
so yea.i went to report. i cried.. then i stopped . then i asked myself hwy musy i cry. then i cried again. cos found out dad wasnt supportive of hte idea. he's the type of person who wil lavoid all troubles and rather suffer abit.
then i was confident mum wil lsupport me. she said ti herself wat. no matter what u do, mum will always support u''. soemmore we hav a relative whos in police force or something. then she also say. no la. don wan.
wait alot of troubels. very ma fan.. must keep going in and out for investigations .
not easy. i understand from the so called old ppl point of view.
but... i rrl thought they'll suppoprt me... =( .... but i didnt get any suppor tofrm them. htat really broke my heart into pieces. where were u when u say you'll support me no matter what i do.
he's a bloody outsider.
somemore only admit to stealing the flyer ticks because obcioulsy my bro only has proof abt the tixsx. then the voucher and other tics. ? how come can gone missing liek that. gth. don coerm play with me.

i tell u . im not liek my family soft hearted. u left me alone to die in australia, now i will let u die a more painful death. of course i cant gurantee if thas gonna happen. however, at leats i;ve done something abouit it. if nothign happen, karma will do so for me.
i cant let this matter go because of the thought that he left me to die alone in syd.
i wont be soft hearted.

...if htat the reason why ppl tell me im strong?
..i dunno. i am not. ive nvr think of myself as a  strong person.
..i cried. behind closed dorr so many times..
i kept thigns to myself. .
i get through the dark period of my life by myself..
i dunno .thast even consider as strong??
so ..weird.

or was it becasue im always so cheerful and happy in front of my oclleagues and frens.. .
i din tell htem my probs ..i dunno. why would they say im strong?
because my love one is far away from me?
or because i kept probs to myself and stay professional at work

im not strong.. inside my heart is breaking.. .piercing through every ounce of ... ....
....
tears.. keep rolling..
the pains in my heart.. the betryals. .disappointments.. trust.. .
how can i still stand still...
but work is work. true. i haev and will be professional on the floor.
recently theres another work issue.

long story. i no mood to tlak abou tit.
let sjus say im headin gto other outlet.. that was once rejected by another store manager.

anywyaa,

so much thigns going on... god. im starting to hate 2012 alreyad.

sighs... headache now. cos nvr slpt well. only few hours of incompleye rest.
..but glad report been made.

sighs.

don provoke me.  i can be swt as an angle. but if u do this type of immoral thign to me and my familym be prepared to be punished.
i wont let it go.
not especially when he's so heartless to leave me alone penniless in a foreign country. thigns couldve gotten worse if  sam and my fren aint around to help. i'll be liek hwat? begging on the roads fdor cab money. and starve to death. or by eating worms to survive????
nvr ever will i be allow to be treated lie this. not when i tereated him so nice. so frnely. so good. caring.
now no mroe.
he can go die go jail for all i care. he derserved to be punished.

ha. when i aske ddad . .so whos gonna pay me back my money!? he said. .we can slowly pay u back after i foudn a job... i asked how long? if he got money ,he wont need ot ask mum fo rmoney liao .
somemroe moeny to treat his leg. and i no need to pay for hte house liao.
..
baka desu. why be so nice to redzz? why ?
my dad is so silly . or innocent at tiems. sighs...
i'll rather go through the storm.. to get my revenge

can tell bro also stil lsiding and pity his mum... but i told him what he did to me ..he said thats true too.. .anwyay yea

i din had any lunch. no appetite.
hope can finish off some dinner.
wish my health peeps.
i hope tmr i can finsih osme proper meal.. one day..one meal.. cannot survive fo rl long

recently wore the bracelt my bro gav eme ofr b'day. dunno why it feels liek. .loose. lkie sammy's bracelt to me.. but i dunno .how skinnier can i get?

..so manythings happened. .so pain.. so much pain...

i felt lil happiness arond me. but gd thing theres sstil lhim..

i will leave this place  i fi have the chance . if i stay here without love nor happiness, i'll die one day.
worried about my fmaily, but still i'll leave.
thats my only chance at surviving this world

mata

sweet love/ stolen money case

ok. so today's topic is about calls. recently my sm told me that she saw the male staff calling up his wife immediately during break tell him he's gonna makan.. etc... very swt of him. then i also saw him cxall his wife up right immediately after work. awww

then sm was telling me.. how sweet of him. unlie her husband. when she called to ask where is he. .or hows he doing. .whats he doing over , he'll be rude and say.. why? u wanna check up on me isit?
omg. so heartpain to hear that=((
she say she love him mah. .concern. .thats why call up and talk.. chat.. just a causual question. fine if he so mean, she wont call to show concerns again.

aww=/ haiz.. .even after marriage i thin kcouple must really learn how to cherish one another. treat everyday like first date.. how c an u treat ur partn'ers msg and call as a sign of checking up or bothering? they love u. they care and misses u. thats why they are bother to ask.
consider urself as a lucky person if ur partner time to time remeber to ask after u, about u.. not liek they wanna spy on u. they just love u misses u and just wanna show con cerns for u. =/
haiz... men ar... =/ dunno what to say.
thats why they say ba.. that type of good husband very hard to find =/
rrly haiz. such a lvoely actions, turn out to be a negative thought form ur partner =( how sad and disappointing is that =/
really not right.

 i have this regular customers. veyr rich. big buyers.
they are old . amngmohs. seems to be... form europe. france or soemthing. i dunno. cos of their accent.
anyway , recently they dropped by again. though old, they look good .know how to dress up(rich mah ). look very up to date with fashion .anyway, i really envy them. they are always soooo lovey dovey. .smiley couple. seem soooo happy. htey have no other childer n taggin galong and stuff. dunno why. but i have a strong feeling they have no childrens. i dunno. anyway, they waolked out towards mrt.... hand in hand... omg. .... how many old couples now still hold hands so naturally... not awkward. .unliek certain couples who thinks.. so old alreyad.. still love dovey hold hands. .etc for what=.=.. .
gosh. anyway, yea. i rrly hope when i've reahc that age, be it rich or stable, all i need is someone who's stil lwilling to appreciate me , and hold me tight .

today was chattign with sm.. suddenluy she aked me hwats sammys full name. =.= erm. .ok.. so.. i just sya it...
then she's like. .oh no wonder.. .i was like .huh. she said.. syd.
that name.
usually must be pair up with very 'high class' high status arab woman name with sharifah.
..i was like. .whattt the helllll was thattttt............. XD
waht?? at this age and centary, theres stil lthis match match thingy in marriage????
anwyay, i wodner why then his mum can be a chinese. sm said.. perhasp his mum is lucky his dad chose her as his wife.
mm....i dunno...
too much rules.. too much .. stuffs.
nowadasy.. .wonde rif ppl stil lcare about that=.=
but.. .come to think of it.. he did mentioned about his dad saide with his grandma... mmm.. i wonder if.. thast becaus eof his mum.. a chinese... ahh... i dunno... anyway, not liek i can know.
but yea.

jsut din thoguht theres still a matching name...

hey wait. .stop.. .i need to stop.. .topic changed back to my missing money. bro finally said something. =( and thays the reason why i don dare to ask. cos i knew i'll be very upset =(

he suddenly aske dme wheres my wallet.
and so i i showed him. he aske dme perhaps to tkae it to police station tmr and have them check for finger prints. or see wha they can do.
so eya. imma do that tmr. sighs. i know. .seems hopefless. . and to late. but. ..u know. its a try after all =/
sighs.. so heartpain. he admitted to bro he sotle it. somemore bro say he din think redz apologise to him u know. wtf.
u stole somehting, u din say a sorry???? omg.
anwyay he seems anxious when bro told him that night .. my  sis gonna file a polcie report anyway. cos redz kept saying he din steal my money. only the voucher and ticxs ofrom bro.
redz then asked. .stil lcna ? cos theres alot of fingerprints now.
i purposely post in fb. i hope he better own up. if not. nvm. i don care also. i jsut file to polvice.
he also said redz revealed he's under alot of debts.what lend fren money. .etc. i tell u. bullshi*!!!! i tell bro odn be softhearted. bloody liar.
i pioty his muum .bloody redz. i hate him. i wont forgive him for making me suffer liek this.

kk. i gtg. theres some stuffs i gotta settled. tmr. police it is. just regret.. nvr get to go earlier =(((

mata.

...heart so pain righ tnow.... =( sighs.... my money....

LDR near me again.

soooo slpy. just now was so pissed off cos of work.. sighs. =/ baka desu. these customers ar... wan them come, they don wan come. wan them gone, they purposely stay in store. =.=''''grrrrr

anwyay glad day is over. =/ huu. so sianz.. .very sianz. .was cursing all the way home =/ baka desu

what a long day. i can feel myself getting sick. with throat uncomfy. abit coughing.... =/ hope will get well soon. sometimes too slpy to drink any sorts of med. or forget. =/=

anyway, oh. was potluck that night, as my rgm handed me over one more plate of food, my team were like asking.. where did u store all those food? XD lol . i also dunno. cos i ate alot .XD omg. i think i ate the most there. =X

today new staff say im very pretty. wah lao. cannot sia. i cannot stand compliments sometimes. i wont dare to look u in the eyes if u say something liek that to me. dots... very weird. =.=
other ppl say like. .yea. just so weird. cos only like him say htat. so when others say, like. .huh. rrly ar? erm... o...k... no.. erm. .ty.. .-_- sort of yea like that...

when i coughed, throat pain .alil for now

haiz.. so tmr sammy back to school. so fast huh. 3rd year liao.. ....sure will be fun. but guess he wont get to work as much. but at leats there'll be thigns nice to do at school ba.
did thought of doing that too.. but... o well .. me and my jap lessons.. nvr happen =(
if only have the time and energy.. .sighs. .so many thigns wanted to do.. but.... =/ o well..... haiz..

gosh. my memory rrly bad now. ..especially when i get tired and so slpy =/

but trust me. nt bad till i will forget where i place my own money  /
haiz.. till now still nvr ask bro abotu what happened that day.. neither did he tell me about it.. =/
im scared to know ba.
scared later knwo le, will angrier, sad... and heart pain mre.. haiz...
what should i do.. =(

today get to know my colleague... married her first lvoe. she is his first love too. AWWWWWWWW ... i wa soooo oenvy!!!! cos thats like so swt!! first true love!!! omg. somemroe they knwo each other through internerrt. omg.  they married liao =)
been through total of 7 years ldr she said.
hes; from new zealand. she's sg.
i asked who come vivist. sh esay of coursse must be the guy first.
XD
the yea. he in uni that time. a nerd. wont party much. don hae alot of frens ba she say. ha. i think thats very very nice =)
anwyay, alot of rocky moments. even after marriage also. but we both know. there'll always be times liek thsi
 anwyay, sh esaid went through alot. then especially when parting, both will be very sad. and she'll ask him. .why are u doing this to me? ha. .she laughed when she recalled. .. but yea.
she once initiated a break up cos she too stress or upset abotu the ldr. then she realized she need him. and she ask to patch back. again she laughed. lol .she's so funny.
anyway, after uni or what, he finally came to sg to work for FOUR years =)
she also ge to go austrlaia for study. a short whiel only i guess. but not nz . not sure about this part.
anyway,

yea.. she said she couldnt go over as her family needed her that tie. but its easier for him to coe over to sg because he's living with his cousin, and his parents in new zealand... there's no burden . so he can just go over to sg for work .

she reacalled. she thoght her mother in law very nice. but after marriage, her motherinlaw ask him to do this. .do that. .as in rush her. she really dislike. becase that time she was still waiting for her visa to get approve. as in she married in sg. but follow husband back to nz.
but they moved out liao. hahaha. im happy for her. =)
theres rrly no freedom ne if u live with parents with wife =/  and imagine cannot have hot sizzlign nights right .... dots. but true wat

ha .
oh. i asked how often they get to see each other.. she say not often. but the longest was liek 2 , 3 years never see each other. (OMG)

anwyay,... .yea.
so envy of her. i met her husband once. when he came over to sg. oh in case you're wondering...
she's here because she lost her baby...during her 5th months of pregnancy.. .so yea=/ she needed to get away .. .so came back to sg.  recently her husband finally some free itme. came to sg look for her. stayed for abit. but now returned liao.
ha. they so matching . =)
but she's plump.. he's stiff ba.
robust? yea

anyway, she said there's really alot of rocky roads and all. but yea. they are together now. and forever. =)
so glad for htem. she said her husband tried to apply for pr when he was in sg for four years. but i din ask how that goes

well, i guess theres' rrl nothign to worry about as long as u c an be with the one u love.
no wonder nowadasy so many guys came to sg apply for work for their girls. rememer that long tiem ago i blogged about my ex colleague's fren or something. cousin? forgot liao. also ldr.. then guy came to sg look for her. .work here. .etc.

o well.

k getting late. gtg slp.
i think ..his first day of school tmr will be an exciting one.. don cha think.
as fo rme... ....haiz... same thing. doing same old thing... sighs... well.. =( i am not happy

...wonde rif theres anythign to cheer up my life. as in.. u know... do somethign different. or.. experience something different.. .haiyoooo i dunno ne... =/ im so sianz with my lfie right now. =/
haiz......................... help.

mata

I need fresh air

my throat hurts. as though it is swollen. now headache.. huuu.....  oh this is the 2 nd blog of the day. cos the previous one i blogged veyr early aftnoon mah. heh

=(

anyway, bro finally is back. he din say nothign about hwat happened. and i cant be bother to ask. rrrly. i don feel like asking anyore. he don wanna say then forget it.

sighs.. me poor thing. poor money gone...
...

haiz. yea. jst couldnt bear to stay at home. really need to get out have a fresh breather or something =/
..

good thing i did. i found cruiser vodka. gosh took  me sooo long. ha. i nvr give up trying to find that drink. XD
so eya. glad finally i got my wish ha.
now. .if only they have bras n thigns here.
or deliver playboy bras to sg

ha

omg. every one of my colleague kept saying my slpippers is so cute. so small. =.=''' dots. i find htta amusing. my slippers small  yea true. .but cute ar? omg. hahaha. funny ne

u know. i'll be soooo happy if im able to work at bras n things.
uh huhg.
bras n things. then do other thign. then work in syd. with him near me. gosh. my life will be sooo happy and i wont feel sad anymore.
thats a perfect life eh. or i mean close to one.

but they have weird stuffs workign there. like. .example.. supre. the girls working there were like clubbing. u can see hteyre not so perfect skinny, and yet they were wearing tight fitting singlet , mini shorts.. . like ..very bitchy kinda clubbing look =/
i wonder what u called htem huh.. for those angmohs. sg has ah lian and minahs.. then caucasians ne?
bitch? sorry i don mean to be rude. but jsut wondeirn gif that could relaly be the one to describe them

so slpy ...

haiz.
what a day =/

hope i'll be able to cheer up soon.

don hurt my trust which i've placed with you.. i've done nothing wrong nor bad to u.. so don hurt me like that.. i am innocent.. i dont deserve such crulety or pain inflict upon my heart... =/

mata

xin msn catch up drama 995 episode 15

you guys should go to this website.. i serach under google search for xin msn c atch up. the drams.
there

currently am watching my fav . its called 995 . ch 8 drama. there's my favourite actress in there. short hair wan. the other actor, ...just nice. erm. .the so called look a like actor of sammy ..erm yea. .well thats wat ppl told him. anwyay,

wah i tell u.... the episode 14 and 15... oh gosh. .so sad. i cried liek hell sia. =.= the situation about .. .u know.
anyway, episode 15 is my fav episode. but a pity due to sliver right copyrights or something .i cant seem to post the link here. =( u guys will have to go search under xin msn catch up epi 15 . remember the name is called 995.
that episode 15 gosh.. makes me cried liek mad.. i wonder... is that how sammy speak with his dad .. liek in theat kindof a situation.... but well it works in drama, not him.

anyway, awesome episode.
really heartfelt.. espeically when he's so called look like sammy. ..erm .. o well
anyway, very nice. do check it out.

haiz.
about the same situation ba.
so yea.. cried ha.
..
the worse thing is to separate two lov ebirds together =(

and its stupid to leave each other becos u wan him or her to be happy. now tel me. how happy can u let that person be if u chose the separate way . -_-
unite and togetheer, is happy. becos of ur partner, thats why u happy. there'll be tiems theres anger , sadness, disappointments.. etc. all sorts of bad negative feeligns. but nothig is perfect .there'll bound to have such negative moments appeared in all relationships.
two need to work together, hadnle it, and compromise. understand. thast how u overcome obstacles. even with frens n family we have the same problems isnt it.
so to leave ur partnet becos of one stupid line. .i want u to be happy'. .., ha. there's so .. in a momnet of fooly kind thign to me.
don leave ppl tellling them that. becaus eyou're the one one who can bring happiness to ur own partner.

anwyay, just download the sliverlight in odrder to watch. only from epi 14 onwards u need to dl sliver light .dunn owhy=.= im glad i did. i c an watch now. glad i din missed out these episodes.
it toook me less than 5mins to dl phew. no hassle. super simple =)
remeber to dl and u can watch liao.

anyway, .. glad htey set up this xin msn thing. now whatever episodes i misssed out, i don have to worry. cos can catch up at their xin msn website =)

just google search it peeps.

watch it especially u have a love one you wont give up.
and im glad in the drama he did not =')

haiz... reminded me of sammy whenevr i see the actor.. dots. what to do. my fav actress is in tehre! XD
but sammy still sammy. actor cannot compared. muahaha lol

oh so last ight after chatting with my fren long, finally no heavy heart liao. today wakey also not so sad anymore.
im very glad i let it all out.
haiz....

now dad... his swollen leg.. .=/.... sighs....
duno ba. so many bad thigns happened.. sighs.. .
worried .
se.e ..wories after worries... nvr ending ...
why this year everythign liek. .so bad.
somemore kena accused by customer about the ipad case. wth.
...sianz.. whats wrong with beginning of 2012 =(((
..only thing that is good and happy,.. is because of sammy. otherwise, i really cant think of any other happy nice thign that happen. ...haiz.
..o well

...anyway, ..hope ot watch the ending soon. next fri i htink. hee.
cant wait for mon's episode too .

at first i thogut very troublesome to dl the sliverlight. but its fine. just do it. u can catch up on al lother dramas n programmes there too =)
or if u miss ch  8 or ch 5 from overseas, u can check that out too.

just checked out my fren's fb. remmeber the one i told u trecently his gf went back to melb? asian gf.
yea.. seems liek he's heading over to melbourne in april to accompany. dunno for how long. but... yea. nice. .guess he must be savin ghard too huh. like me. ...o wlel. all will be obvious. envy ne... c an get to go see her. ha.
haiz. one day ba.. my turn... ..
but  cant share any of it in fb . ha .so yea.. o well...


mata ne

utterly disappointed

i really cant wait to blog this.. i am feeling terrible. very upset. and disappointed. angry. but very sad=( today whoel day... worried and sad. very very heavy hearted. =( sighs........
=(

bro say redz took his tix... he went find redz mum... but dunno why my bro say will tell redz at night. then end up staying over at his place cos too late no bus to come home. he say tmr will tell me. i have no idea whats happening. i wish redz not trying to lie again. i hate lies. white lies, lies, they are all the same. they break the trust. and trust is such a frightening thing. ...sighs... it relaly causes heartache.
its scary.. to trust someone.. .and have ur trust broken like that. ..sighs.. its very.. heart pain
...
more heart pain is my money gone. and to have him stole it was like. ...i dunn owaht to say .so evil .so cold hearted. inhuman. when he took the money,  can u imagien wat crosses his mind? ''nvm. don care. i take her money first. then when she touch down in syd, she'll thought her money lost outside or in plane..in syd. not my problem if she no money. its ok. i'll steal now'''. can u imagine a person who's liek famioly to me, even have that kiind of a thinking???? leaving me penniless out alone in syd??
=(
how evil .. bloody evil is taht.. .i save so hard. i eat little. i starved. and now i am doing the fu***** same hting all over again because i have to save the exact money to pay off my fren. its like i can use that bloody money to travel again u know. but cannot. thats meant for my fren. i have to return her.
and im repeating the monthsss of eating little food.. lunch. or dinner.. only a proper meal a day. =(
i bear with my hunger. i tell myself dont give in to spend money just to satisfied my hungry..my cravings.  see ppl eat the meal they like. while i have to settle with one curry puff, one bread, or sometimes bee hoon only. jjust swallow it whoel .n drink plenty of water to fill my tummy up and last me till night. or evening.
sighs... =(
i don min dal lthose hardwork put into something i love.
but to give all those hard earn money to the bloody thief,... ..i cant take this lying down.
..sighs...
heart very pain.
very stress.
heavy hearted. but what can i do. what can i say.
..why would he be so kind to return me all the money he own me and bro.

.....sighs.. .
how i wish theres him to hug me tight and say everything will be fine. ..then ill truly be fine now.
.....sighs dunno waht to say.

=/

heart very pain. very stuffy. i gotta let this all out.

so much to say.. .so difficult to type it all out in details.. .

sighs...

...sighs...
 o well...

no mood liao
=/

still gotta pull myself together.. .heavy heart on the shop floor. but still must smiel. be brave n strong. say hi to customers ..etc
my manager told me the other day. ytd was it.
yea. at fist she though t i was hte weakest.
one thing she reall yrespect me, is that i don mix personal life with work. liek no matter how mcuh troubles i have ..etc

i was surprised by her words

this kind of trust heart pain thign ar.. i tell u.. .cna die sia... like. .as though its the end of the world.
so scary.. rrly...
...

 i am just a harmless girl. i dont do bad thigns. i wont hurt u. u don have to repay me. but just treat me good wil lbe enough. no need treat me bad. no need to hurt me. thats good enough.
why wanna hurt me so badly. =(( i don understand.
...
sigs...

i don feel any better even after typing in here u know.
...

haiz.

its so tough.
it makes me question... whast gonna happen if ppl i trust so much betray me again.
wouldnt my heart be even more seriously shattered?
..
sighs...
....i need a hug...

anyway, just had a long talk to vent out all my anger and heavy heart to my fren. now not much heavy heart. sighs.. if not worse. haiz... trust huh... don ever break it. i meant no harm.. don hurt me in any other ways

=( jaa...... .....

nosey

i think perhasp few of my colleagues must be wondering about y so called accent=.= '''
but few ever asked me. today one asked. i  just repeated my answer. i dont know.
yea. those three words are the best answer to that question. yet presents itself with another question.
ha. o well... i just dont like answering that. even in syd.

anyway, i am so slpyyyyy omg. me suddenly got runny  nose halfway through the day. wth. =.=''
gosh.
then all the way throgh till onw. i feel terrible =/ huu...
usually im fine after med.. but.. im still feeling terrible. nose itchy and all. theres something very wrong with my nose. haiz.. .

anyway, sorry. cant remeber what id wanted to blog again. always forget.
memory not that gd i guess

haiz.... sammy asked me go check. but i thought i did . one year back or so
?
yea... so many visas.. .t n c.
... easiest way i s to get married. or have ppl sponser me go there work.
the rest, i rrly dunno liao

so sad. ytd haiz.... perhasp due to first da of time of month. so yea.. not feelign cheerful. =/
somemroe got to know htat th esore next to us, sooo small, no body, quiet n peaceful. nothig to do at al. yet their staffs get paid heapssss of money =((( so unfair. sighs
if i knew.. gosh....
then my sm toll dme that rgm asked her not to tell anyone.
duh. if u tell ppl, all staffs will be tempted to go there! cos of more pay, less work. gosh.. envy the manager and asm pay there. .huuu..... it slike 100% more workload but lesser pay

anyway, glad todya i felt better. though still abit weird here n there.. .but yea. definitely better ba.
haiz....

i guess hsi school about to start soon huh... ...wonder if its gonna be something like last yr.. .last yr was tough kinda.. ...i dun like....
like.. . dunno anything. left alone.
.. yawn... gosh i rrly shouldn wait for hair to dry. so in need of slp right now =.=

zzzzzzzz

kk gtg. with nose like that, haiz... man... gdluck to me ne. huu

i cant think anymore. just wanna slp.
head wanna explode liao

to have someone to love, is something ver yspecial .
hav u found ur special someone? that must be an amazing feeling to be loved...and to love..


mata

hating feeling

hi there. i know =.= dots.. less than an hour or so, im here bloggin again. dots.. .yea. 2 blogs in a night eh =.=

i just cant take it anymore.

my stupid fren uses words i really dislike. as though its words used onluy by my close or love ones. =( that relaly pisses me off.
i don like. i rrly don like. no one can use words on me but sam.
sighs. rrly hate it. pisses me offf . i know. some ppl are very open . or dunn owhat theyr'er saying or maybe he din mean it. but. i don liek . what if sammy misunderstood. or what if i misunderstood? cant my fren think first? wth. sighssssssssssssss =( alreuad not a good day still... =/ kena bothered by this. zighs. but i rrly don care about htat fren of mine though. rrly.
..perhasp he meant no harm ba. .jus the way he joke and talk... but he din realise its too overboard. and it might cause misunderstandings =/

haiz...

i thin kits rrly my time of month. usually tmr mrg wakey i'll be better iao. i hate this feeling. its like.. bloood boling... or something sirring inside of ya.. =( so sad. .so frustrated.. .so stress.. .so angry.. its veyr bad feeling =(((
i hat eimt eof month huuuuuuu

sighs....

i meant i hate time of month.

sory my spellings

anwyay, yea. hope i'll be fine soon.
by tmr .
now better abit after msging sammy. at first liek thoguht he din wanna msg cos bz.. but then.. yea. anyway he will be bz soon... haiz.... what to do.
but yea... maybe he didnt know what to msg. he thought i don wanna tlak? he thoght im pissed off? or he jst din msg. i dunno... cant guys console girls osmethimes? cant they tell something is wrong with their girl? haiz.
=/
but. ..anwyay, glad he stil lmade me feel betetr in the end.
girls are complicated. i guess so huh.
perhaps they jsut couldnt understand. so yea.. .and then girls will be frustrated to wonder why coudlnt they do anythign about it.
but its no ones fault really. no one.

liek i said.. compromise.. understandinsg are the keys... but everything will be fine in the end if one is willing to help.

is it true that men are from mars, women from venus?

how cmoe ...
=/ but i dont believer eveyrone is so.
cos everyone is diff.


but he's the only one to make me feel betetr.
oo well. at least now im feelign betetr alil liao. so eya...

haiz.

without him, what else can make me feel ahppy?
i dunno.
do you?

=/

oih my fren told me she'a chattign with this penpal. but its through email. i was lie... huh =.= cos when i was very young, i wrote letter to a few ppl. females la =/.=
i like writing letters =) but then yea.. .now no more. cos no one to write to. then also cant sned sammy anythign mah... cos will get thrown out.. anwyay

i checked out the website she provided me with.

intereting.. .mm...

shall see

mata

bad day

so frustrated. these few days so many stresses =(

then ytd about my bro.. dunno hwat happened.. then today stupid bloody fren dunno what he's saying.
i really cant stand his words anymore

and duno if bro is ok or not =( sighs....

met new sm tiday. so fair. totaly diff rom what i d imagined him to be.

qhaiz. .suddenly very stress=(
]
like so much things happened.

dunno if bro ok or not =/
ytd he din semes right. i tried to accompany him, as long as i caxn. but i was oto tired and slpy. my body cant standt it any longer.. so gotta go slp while he bathe.


sighs

=/
dunno ba. just don feeel so well.

mayeb cos that time of month.
yea. should be =/

but. sighs. hopefully he'll settle his matter soon. very worried abotu him and him loanign ppl money((
sighs. wth is going on =/
and redz.. is that the person he's loaning to? i dunno. suddenly feel slike i dunno anything anymroe
=/

my feet so small. all my colleagues kept saying so cute=.=................... dots................... omg. now even my feet are cute=.='''''

remember that time a lady asked if i was from australia? today theres another lady said i have aussie accent. i was so shy and blused\hd, i didnt know what to reply here. i just kept quiet.
==.=
i don sound liek one ar...  haiyo...
dots

sighs................................................

=(

been so long since i felt this bad.
tch. trying to cheeer up now.
..haiz =/
...
life's always up and down huh...

wanna be happy going on also so difficult.

=/ when will these days end
oh. been eating less than 2 bucks food.
good . but sianz liao.
but do my best to eat them.
but. .cant save much either. =/ sighs.
duno ba.



mata

sianz day?

as expected. .what a longgg tiring day. so much work to do... yet to be done .but i can do this. uh huh.

i don get it.. why my rgm say he dont think i can handle the fast paced store. i suit quiet store. .. ...if yanika is here, im sure she wont think that way =/
manager in training huh.. .hopefull yhe'll be a betetr sm than that lady

morning such a diaster wakey so early n super slpy.. then received call about staff din go work cos of sm email wrongly. soemthign like that
haiyo. what to do. rgm wil side with her de ba

mm... yea. and glad  sammy found soem ideas n deals he like. he seems to be in such a happy gd mood today =)
just checkoed out the bike he mentioned to me. cool. =) haiyoooo wish i can ride that / huu
so wanna sit! lol
anyway, haiz. i wonder how difficult it is to hide from his mum. ...=/ so troublesome. haiz.
everythign must hide.. =/ but good for him. can seize this chance go around and find bike infos before they're back
just hope he'll be safe

heard of the details hwo his day went =) i think thats pretty gd. for me, gosh. nothing but busy workloads. like i said. one day also cannot finish on time.
before i know it, another task handed down to me .
o well. liek wha i told my colleagues too

im likeone perosn doing 2 ppls job
so eya
one brain but must store 2 brains infomations

anyway, disappointed desu. today only wed huuu =(
time is slowing down.. .

so tired. and slpy. wanna rest soon

mm.. forgot what i wanna say. .
o well

anyway my diary .. ha. i cant believe im writing so much. mine is a daily diary.
soyea
 . cos too much workload liao.

hair still wet.. haiyo

kk. will check out ebay since hair wet. huu.. .but no money liao.

anyway ever since i got back, i didnt shop. uh huh. controlled very well desu ^^
hehe

im glad too.

todya bread n puff. for lunch.
til lend of march ba.. .will hang in there=/
relaly crave to eat laksa..

ha. dunno why.for a moment there, the image of heading down to ntuc gas station below the block of sam's old house.. flashes across my mind.
so wish he's here now n me go buy a tub of ice cream.. then can watch tv n eat...
.... =/ o well..

haiz.

anwyay, my rgm don wanna tell me whats in plan fo rme. he only tell me cannot say much. but theres future plans

im supposed to

tiring off day

thought wanna bring out out for lunch.. but no pain in so yea.. very disappointing =/ guess also will have to pay my fren tmr ba. luckily she understands.

hmm... msg sammy whole day.. always happy to do that.  till he hit the sack early.. but happy enough to msg him ^^ wee... .hehehe. easily satisfied eh. lol
then.. yea. basically just nothing much to do. watch tv.. online. and rest. cos of nose again =.= haiz. always like that.
auto wakey very early, couldnt slp back then runny nose liao.
why off day will auto wakey early ar.. then work day can just slp all the way till alarm wakey me up =.- haiz

mm.. very full. bloated stomach whoel day.. perhasp its time of month soon huh...

haiz.. im back in sg.. but only for now i hope. i just really wish to be reunited with him real soon...
working hard on my side. but someitmes just wonder how hard need to be.. in order to have some improvemtns..or things moving forward to bigger plans

anyway, im starting to feel tired and slpy again. always. ha. yea. .whole day=.=
like i said. one day off isnt enough.
i really need to rest at home for like daysss straight. 2 days aint enough either.
holiday time i also went out.. and so tired from al walking. stay in hotel and lay there just watch tv is one of the best thing to do XD lol. haiyo forgot to buy ice crema and eat in bed. haha.
but yea very shiock.
earn so hard... work so hard.. uh huh... my money is well spent.
worth it

miss him desu. so wan him here now... then all these hardowrk and tiredness, slpyness will go away. alll away. i wont care.
o well

wish me luck peeps.

oh the valentines day range of pandora is so pretty!! dang... everytime i went toilet, i'll walk past the store. then they'll hav this board. theres one of the charm that says together forever. and theres a love shape one too . very pretty. their colours is valentines day colours. .which are red and pink. dang they put up their items so near tpoilet... everytime will see ha.

kkk. so tire dliao .even though done nothing much

ha

jaa mata ne.

he made my life so much brighter and happier. with him in my life, anything is possible =) love ya swty

not lil' girl ^^

gosh. today a customer pissed me off. so fierce and ridiculous!!!! wth .angmoh lady somemore. grrrrr
some angmohs really can get bloody berko easily.
nuts!!!
small thing only. wanna vent their anger on us isit?
just atiny matter. wanna be so bloody fierce. wth. they never work in retail line i swear! born with a golden spoon in their mouth, work in big company nice office or what i dunno. ask them work in this line and see if they ever dare to anyhow sugegets this and that again. wtf.
relaly hateeeee this type of ppl. dunno the jobs difficuilite s .and still thought this is an easy job?
really hate this type of ppl u know . pfft.
somemore all the nasty ones are angmohs. not singaporeans. omg. rrly hate these type of caucasians. pfft..... so many times liao. sooooo obnoxious u know . cant believe it .sooo orude!!!!
... grrrrrrr
to think ppl kept saying oh angmohs are nice frenly... warm... ....... dots. please. dont say that to  me again .
if u say that,  please speak htat of singaporeans as well. thx
becxause we are better than the bad caucxasians.

anyway, so funny that day the toilet cleaner say i go in and out very fastXD meaning i pee fast la. =.= dots. but good wat. it slike i alwasy see the girls in the make up area touching up.. then the bf all outside waiting XD ha. very poor thing. tey must've been wishing better dont let their gf drink too much water, otherwise they gonna waste time in topilet again. ha. just a guess

haiyo. my colleagus all keep callign me little girl.
then theres this parttimer staff who doesnt work here often, she arrived. then after that she complimented my eyeshadow glitter very pretty.. then say... when she walked in, she was wondering to herself ''who's this little girl''. =.='''' i was like ...... on the spot. dots. i was just wearing  a black skirt and white top mah. how come i look liek little girl??
then nvm. then a tnight i decided to tie my hair up. halfway tie. then from the other side of store from afar, my colleague saw me. like. .not the usual look. then when crowds cleared ,she came up to me and said.. indicatating towards my hair tied up..''liek very awkward leh... just now i  thought who's this weird little girl''(saying me) . just becos i tied my hair up. dots. ..but not a bad way the way she talked.
then she say if i wear school uniform, will look like the japanese type of school girl. lol. XD
well i don mind. lol.
anyway, im not little girl desu .just.. a woman with.. .lots of different.... well u know me.
then that day this new staff floor trial. was shocked when she asked me my age ,and i told her. she thought i was younger than that. ...huh... i really look like little girl still? =..=''' eto...... i cant imagien ne... dots.. .baka desu...

gosh. finally weekedn over .finally pay day is almost here.
gonan continue repay my debt.

ha. i have this weird thought. to go back syd again in julyXD lolllll
but.... if only don have to pay for hotel.. .
haiz. its ok. i'll save hard. relaly have to

mata ne !

bad memory strikes again

sooo slpy now. finally i have energy after slping.. gosh. bene tired out completely.

will make this a short blog ba

mmm...... haiz. so much happened at work. ppl mc, ppl has ipad suddenly. .dunno if htey took or what. haiyoooooooooooooo
 but it sok.
im not gonna think so much... haiz

anyway,
mm... yeah.... i couldnt remember what i was gonna blog. hav alot. but suddenly forget again =.= haiz

my memory been very bad these few days. i easily forget thigns, and cant really concentrate. i cant rememebr rwell either
very bad memoru eh. again =.=

imma better slp niow. sorry for the boring blog. cos.. i relaly cant rememebr what was i gonna say...
my brain is in a blank right now. total blank. just wan to slp

gdnight

mata




such a busy day, but hav you drop a msg or two to ur sweetheart tellign them you miss or love them?-

fish soup big success!

hey there! sorry... been sooo sleepy and tired out that i din hav the time to blog. must think andblog, but yea my brain is too slpy to blog .

gosh. been tired out man.. =/
today glad i finally slpt more than i did days back. yea. been working early... very early... off dya aslo work..

today i get to cok! 2 dishes somemore. ha. this uncle demostrating this mushroom dish at the supermarket. i purposely stay and stand clos to listen in. lol.
but anyway, guess what. bro say my fish soup is very nice! he asked me for recipe. hahaha. his tastebud also huigh standard u know. (men are liek tht eh XD) . but yea. if he say its nice, it will be. lol. mum say very nice too. heeee....
i am very glad desu =) my mushrooms also nice k. yummy desu. i mean the mushrooms i cooked..

oh. haha. u know how along the way, i met guys who shop for lingerie for their gf? then came into the store and ask to wrap them up. 2 bravery yea. haha. first is step into lingerie store alone. another, ,to ask ladies help wrap the lingerie ,alone also.
without any company of female fren or guy fren.
so due to tht, i wonder. and i asked sammy. he say he Might do that If we are married alreayd.
yea just a might XD
haha

but i wonder whats their thinkings huh. for sammy, and for those who's willing to do that.
mm..... i wonder whats the difference in their thinkings. more of whats the reasons of their choices.

but its certainly nice if a man find out their girl's sizes through their lingerie drawer, and make the effort to purchase for them. but then again, theres always  online shopping delivery for anyone. so yea. for those who couldnt accept walking intp the lingerie store, i thin kthey 'll do so via online ba. surprise their gf or something.
haha.
but yea. interesting thinkings huh. oen i will never really know ..for now ba

gosh i am stil lslpy and tired. huu.. if only mum din make that call..

gosoh.. super slpy.

guess what. that day ... huu.. i overslpt slpt. then need to rush outt house.

my alarm lor.. =/ huu...
my head hits the pillow, and thats it.
haiz. knockout.
me din had any proper rest for a long time. perhasp ven more than a week. so eya.
glad to day slpt abit more horus. phew.
and i didn fall aslp oin couch!!! tonight. yay. =)

ha. my family wentoout to eat steamboat. mala steamboat and soup base. my family all went toilet. bro also a afew times to toilet cos of mala chili mah.
me, only normal morning one time toilet. after that ok liao.
guess my stomach used to spicy mah.

gosh. .cant concentrate.. my eyes wondeirng off to lalaland..

..sighs. .will i rrly get transfer out? =/ ...
so ma fan..

i cant think liao. wanna slp..

gdnight peeps

mata

Happy valentine's day!

..haiz. today is valentines day... yet.. i couldnt send him anymore of vaentine's day pressy...otherwise his parents will kill us. so yea.. =/

htough today we din spend alot of time together, we still msg each otehr whenver we can. n i appreciate that.
he's busy mah so yea...

but the feeling of able to trust him fully, really warms my heart. i fee; so comfortable with him, and the trust  i get from him is adquate enough for me to feel safe. =)

but yea. everyday can be a valenties day.

just htat....

today saw alot of couples outside. .some girls with bouquets of flowers. i only received one rose form sammy before. but yea. ha. who knows the future huh.
but that, really meant alot to me even if its just one rose.

=)

tmr is mums birthday. she wanna treat us. but ended up we treat her .ha. =)
had late lunch =/ but yea. cos ciuldnt decide where to go.
haiz... actuall very upset.. with customer complaint.. and harrasment. =/ but i have to be strong.

... im very worried.i dont liek to be rant at or get scolede dwithout any valid reason. so yea.
=/... .but .. yea.. .i know i see her again...but hope no nasty words will come outta y mouth =/
....

the security guards also say this isnt the first tiem this type off ppl appeared.. .
so eya.
i'll look for them for help ba. haiz...

duno why sammy suddely asked me im still weainrg the pressy he gave me O.o...maybe he thought i thrown them away cos of last year/?
but no way... i treasure them too much.. my precious ring and bracelt....  i will never be able to throw them away. to do so, its like cutting a piece of flesh outta me.

but dunno why he ask huh.
anyway, the ring and bracelt, always reminded me of the dates we had.. when he gave them to me.. my first swensen with him.. our valentine preyy huh.. he gave that bravcelt to me when we're having dinner. theres a free teddy handphoien strape too. but it broke =/.='''

anwayy, i was rushing  with him to meet his colleague. passed something  or what. so eta. he put it on fo rme =)lol .i stil lremeebr. that time he rellly hold in high regards his colleagues. about his age or so. but owns a car., with wide carreer, earn big money. .etc. soehtng liek that.
anyway, he handed me a tissue as i was sweating cos he's rusihing to meet him.
i totally forgot hiw his colleague look lik enow ha.
anwyay, he handed me tissues, and attpemted to wipe my sweat off for me=./=
good thing sammy snathc it ovver and wipe for me! phew... yea.. that time i was stil lnaive and all.. but then i realsied.. eh. how come that man suddenly wana wipe fo rem sia. sooo wrong. =.= somemore sammy was beside me ne =.=''
dots.
or am i thinking too much> but weird ne. to wipe off ur mate's gf swaeat =.=

anwyay, i als remember what i wore that dya. and what he wore.

u know how?

cos i have photo. =)

liek i said. phootos give u memories. and event s that you wouldve forgotten if u had not taken any pics.

the pics in my older phone .i uses my old phoen as alrm . ol. so yea. time to time still cna see his pic wit me =)

haiz... just wish he'll be with me..

sitl lremmeber. .soem ttime before he's leaving sg, he did thougt of getting couple rings for both os us. but did not in the end. he was saying something like. .alter wait liek tv.. i send and return him the ring to say gdbye. later he hearbrerak.

but.. .i am not such a person.
i am faithful, and im proud of it =)
he xtill remains and paly abig part of my life .

i appreciate this part of my life hte most.
even though life has its ups and downs.. bad(like thoday bad news of customer)=.=
worse... pain.. sad.. teasrs...
however, i knew there'll alwasy his supports and concerns for me.
hence i feel very lucky.. to overcome any obstacels... =)

that dya i had this customer. young lady from germany. i chatted with her abit. she said that she lvoe sg. better than germangy. germany's like -15 degrees. she loves the warmth in sg=D

wee.

anwyay, ia sked if she's gonna stay here or waht. she say her bf  i shere working or something. or a singaporean. i cant remeber. so she's planning to stay in sg for good.
awww.... =) i am touched. liek me.
i will stay with my lvoe one if i am givcen the chance to.


kk. gtg.

i hoep i wont get scoleded for nothing. i am innocent =(

my sm suppsioedly not working njext day. i knew it. cos she knew the troublemaker gonna come for me. but luckil she'll be there tmr mrg. but maybe leaving early.
cos one colleasgue cannot make it as her son is isck. so yea.
so cunnign huh.
knowing hteres toruble brewing, thas why dun wann work., and gibb me to handle all the tourbel .

sighs

i hope i can be storn gwhen i face the bitc***

u know.. i remeber when we're playign hte love conversation staretr in hotel, he said.. .(its a card thingy) valentinesd ay to him meant nothing much important. cos everyday can be a valentine's day.
u hhuh. dff sort of answer huh. but i don care.  i still lvoe him. and i'll agree with him. cos i stand by him.
forever.

mata

happy valentine's day. todya is extra special even though everyday can be a valentine's day.
cherish one another. understand one another. nobody is perfect. but thats what made it all so special to love their flaws. if tey can love your flaws, why cant you? how many ppl can you find in this world who accepts you as who you truly are? how many pply can you find who lvoe you for who you are? and how amny ppl can you find who learn to accept and lvoe your flaws. when u find such  =a person to love, keep them forever in your life. now and foreveer.

thief?

haiz.. i felt so bad for my bro =/

cos of our best mate case. ..i dunno. bro finally told me tat  redz felt we're treating him like an outsider.. etc.. i dunno whats going either.

but bro said his speech is . .u know. .he didnt reply NO! i nvr take. .he just said calmly.. no. when bro asked if he took his vouchers.

i dunno man... =/ but for me.. .im relaly heartppain with my money gone.
i jsut wan it back.
but dunno was it him or what.
=/

sighs.

but very worried and felt sad for bro.. .cos yea... redz was liek a bro to him also mah =/
...haiz.. i hope he's not too sad ..or anything like that.. =/
now he's saying to return bro's stugfffs back to us. =.= ''
haiz... why thigns gotten so ugly =/

but really no choice ba.. sometimes... hauiz...

u know, i'll rather lose redz than to have anything missing again.

especially since such a huge amount is gone.
=/

haiz.....

i wonder what to say to him if he say.. here's ur bros stuffs. bye.

should i ask him stay, to clarify? or just say.. o..k... bye...

haiz i dunno also =/

just feel really sad for bro =/
hope he'll get over it ba..

sighs.. even no msg from redz...

baka desu.
..haiz... .so childish of him too.
why learn how to lock our door form outside?
and why the hell he wanna say what treat him like an outsider kind of words..

i'll rather he stand up for himself. say a loud NO. i did not take. i swear... etc.. blah3...

rather than remain clam n say no. oh.. do u need help with me searching for it> ?
its unlike him lor

sighs.. .dunno whats going on. but yea. i'll rather have no 3rd time stuffs stolen from us again.

gosh late now.

kk gtg.

off day still must work abit.

=(((( sad night.

sighs... hope bro is fine.

me didnt slpt well last night. wokey abit.. no wnoder bro was quiet and all... =/ thought was strange.. perhasp cos he wanted to tell me all these? but i had to slp early thats why din get to see him.
haiz. ... i feel very bad =(
no wonder afetr he came back, he tell me all about it.. .sighs.
wonde rhow he fdelt ytd=/ or these few dasy. .sighs.

=/ mata

tired = sick

gosh... nose suddenly gotten worse ne.. =/ i think im too tired out ba..

somemore with that stuopid customer case=.= sianz.
hope everything will settel once and for all on tues.

anyway , tmr gonna be up and early for work. argh.. hope nose be heal by then

^^ so far been very happy with him around. hee. i lvoe msgin him.  fun aznd happy =)
cant wait for the day when im next to him.

gosh.. so slpy n.. tired. nose so... =/ huu. runny.
sick liao.

mm,.... yea. anyway, ha. forgot what i wanna blog again.

mm....

o well =P

u know hwat. maybe today will slp early.
so tired. =/

mm. .dunno what to get for my mum ne.. she dont like us spend.. or maybe i just treat her ba.. yea.. .

mm....

o well. anyway, valentines day is coming up. wonder what have u guys prepared for ur darling?
haha. have fun. enjoy.

oh  ytd.. my manager bumped into her ex manager or soemthnig. while going down escalator. dunno why she ask her ex manager. .pointing to me.. chio hor? pretty. i  was like.. dots...
so loud somemore=.='''
but thats her ba.

im honoured ba. lol. but don realy care.


mata

unwanted issue

today had a tough custmer. gosh... longggg story=/
such a troublesome lady =/ haiz.. .hopefully everything will be alright ba =/

very late now.. me fell aslp last night on couch again. dots. and just now. .while using massager. ha. luckily bro talked to me then me wakey XD omg. but yea. so slpy.

today went to eat swensen with manager. gosh i was so hungry. ifnot wouldve eat bee hoon again. so yea. glad i had something good.
sooo full. then reach home, omg. more food .

yay. ^^ sammy no drinking. so happy to hear that. and somemo no drinking type of fren was there. good2 . heh.

anyway, its sure nice to hear his voice. though sometimes phone got cut off, but luckily no problem connecting again =) phew.

haiyo. gonna be 3am liao.. ha.

mm... eh. so short ar my blog. i thought theres soemthing else i wanna blog O.o

mm........
..
think2...

oh yea. another fren of mine. her bro, has a chinese gf. but girl side father don wan them together. cos don her her to convert to muslim .he wanna break off cos of this. but she kept crying. so yea...
but they travelled around the world many places without her father's knowledge. must be difficult eh. take pics must be careful. .cannot show her dad their pic together huh?
anyway, even his uncle was telling him to fight for it. talk to her dad or something. like. .why give up so easily?

i think its so stupid when it comes to breaking apart with ur love one jst becaus eof some religion thing.
if u can be together,  then just convert ar. perhaps her dad's thinking ba.. or perhaps she's the only child? i dunno. but i think such a waste.. parents... religion... , these are just.. .how to say. unimportant obstacles ba.
happiness is far gereater than that. even if he find a muslim woman, i don think he's gonna have as much happiness as with the chinese one.

so yea.. .its just a matter of how u gonna think, fight for it, don give up and yea.
stay true. everything will have a way out . work it out fine. so yea. just need to work it thats all. dunno why he give up without trying .somemore can say now isnt the right time to talk with her dad. .=.='''
o well... hope she's fine ba. =/  so much unwanted issues.. not so important ones.. .yet ppl thinking of breakin gup =/
luckily for me dun have such problem =)

my colleague bf is indian muslim. her dad not been speaking to her for 6 months now because he's a very stubborn man (accroding to my fren). and even her grandma say so. he's very mean n stubborn one.
anwyay, she used to be very close with her dad. but after telling her dad she's dating, her dad say she's too young to date , she must concentrate on her studie. not relationship.
then he didnt wanna speak with her and ignored her till now .alrayd 6 months passed. haiz.
i think ne.... should be fine ba=/ ... sooner or later... but yea. as long as her bf supports her .but at least her mum n grandma is ok.

soemtimes in this kind of situation,.. its even harder when u or ur partner come from a well to do family.
... are faces'.. status.. really so much more important than a simple happiness which can last you throughout your life? =/ guess. ..tats only for the rich ppl to know...
but just so.. .haiz....
=/ not gd.

somemore think of comparing ur children to others.. .or cousins.. .etc... =/ i duno man.
you're only putting stress on them. and.. .haiz. doesnt feel good.

yea. 3am liao. ha.
gosh so late.

today me wakey headache sia.
yea..

mm... forgot what else... mm... o well.
anyway, wish i can be next to him now.

tiem to time i'll check out on the status of my fren's ldr.... so far ok ba.. like me.. they'll wish one another to go over that side. .or quickly leave sg n head over. .

today manager asked me about nmy review form thingy remember? the one i said go syd etc..work.
she said she'll talk with my rgm again.. .dunn oshe;ll help me pester him or what ..bt.. .well. .see how ba. hope so too.

really miss sydney so much. miss him even more...
i wil lsg uh huh. but. anywhere with him is the best.
so wanna give him a tight tight hug now...

if he's here, i;ll get so much slp. and yea i wont be typing ehre now. lol

kk i gtg.

online abit more first XD

mata!

Happy future in await

wow. holy cow. the cros are soooo light!!! its almost weightless!! O.O i am sooo amazed. nvr thought a pair of shoes can get this light .wow. no wonder hte price high. luckily my fren has lobang  ha. but yea. cool. me not much of a choice. cos need dark colour. the nice ones.. well, they have this white patch in front so yea.. =/ wait kena step, dirty liao

anywya,
me felt like a zombie now. after working for 12 n half hours, i awoke after about 4 hrs of slp, then wide awake. i was surprised. aint i supposed to be aslp?
or feel slpy? answer is no. omg. so weird. =.=
im just too tired.. way beyond tired liao ba. haiz

anyway,
gosh. the yellow ginger chicken rice at ps really sucks. =/= grrr....

haiz. ,.. so envy of my fren. remmeber that couple? that bf of hers parents very strice cos his gf is chinese. .he's malay.. then he got curfew etc..  he's like 20 plus le ba. cant remember. but my fren is about 2 years or so younger tha me> ?
anyway, she always wanted to get out of sg and live life abroad. but she's doing a writing job.. so its difficult. she told me he's her ticket now. haha. he finally tell her that  he think its ok. .he would like to have a taste of life abroad.. he changed his mind. ha. i congrats her XD
yea he's engineer , so its easier for him to work overseas she said. then i ask how she can go over. she say when they get married, she can ogo over as spouse.
awww... so envy =((( huu.. but happy for her. think they also dating like... 4 years? or so le ba.
last year it was 3rd. dunno if i remmebr correctly. anyway, i wa sjoking to her. move to sydney!! then next time i go there, i no need pay so much hahaha. XD
but yea.. .so glad shes another step ahead of her dream . =)
then i ask whats gonna happen to his strice parents/ she say nah they don have a say in this. hahaha. finally his bf grown up eh. =) seriously ,i also cant imagine my fren living with his strict traditional parents. =/ somemore she never met them before. yea. .aeven after years of dating.. o well. what to do. some parent sliek that=./='''

anyway, hope that 'll coem true soon for her. uh huh.
so envy .. can stay together so long and so sweet and so funny...
but still happy for her desu. hope they get married soon XD lol. yay. =)

mm.. think im abit slpy now.
o well... anwyay, just glad for my fren ba. if only things could be simple like this fo rme too..
but im glad that. .while she's tlaking about her guy, im thinking of mine too. of whatever she is talking baout . ha. like how he dislike her wearing certain type of shoes, bags, and say she's tasteless...(joke) and how she don care still wanna wear.. ha.

also the way they spend. he used to spedn on soo oexpensive items.. like hundreds over a bag shoes. .etc.. .ut now he learned to save. they have a budget set for each other .ha. how interesting. XD so cool right.

but today she bought a pair of shoes. ha. she say should be fine ba let him know.XD

kk. .gtg.

just hope...
..my tired dasy will be over soon..
i am so tired...
zzzzz

mata

12 and half hours -_-

mm.. u know. before i went to syd, i've been trying to get a proper pair of shoesd. then sammy was like telling me his crocs are comfortable. i asked my collleague. she said it is ok. not bad. so i decided to check it out when im free ba.
but luckily i haven check. cos my fren told me that her fren can get 50% off. wow. =) provided must wait, and must have the stock ne.
but so nice right. 50% ne. but if its really good, i don mind. mm.. but not sure which to get. i haven try yet. hopefully one day will get to go and try it out. thought of getting sneaker type. .but dunno with socks on, will get warm and uncomfy anot

ha. recently i was taught how to tie my hair up with a chopstick thingy. XD col ive always wanted to learn that. my colleague was helping me when she gave up and say my hair is too silky soft to tie it tightly XD yea. .it gets loose pretty fast o well. but stil lcool. but was like so shy to walk around in store with it. ha. but din tie up too long ba

anyway, today haiz.... =/ rrly disappointmented with what my rgm said durnig the review thingy . haiz. =/ i've done accordingly. now, its like ... as though i was in the wrong =/ wth. then am i still gonna listen to his instruction next time? or just record it as proof

....

anwyay, i try not to get angry. not worth it.
but am disappointed... .=/ haiz.

anwyay.. ....
so much more that cant be said

=/

mm.. so yea. today i worked for 12 and half hours cos of that stupid thing. haiz=/
form lor.
cannot wait eh? just has to fall on my aftnoon shift=/ haiz. me not much tiem to rest. drying hair now. and checking out crocs website

..pay day so slow.. =/

ha. kinda envy couples who can tag each other in pics. nothign big ba.. but... only get to do it with him during my first year in syd. ..then... yea.. many pics din get to tag.. like the ones went crazy at the twins house. first time watch tv fireworks there. one of the best day of my life=)
awesome man.
so fun. haiz. rarely life get to have such a day eh.
well, anyday with him is enjoyable, memorable and happy .very happy =)


mata

happy msging day =D

wow. today has been one of the best day of this year. yup. =) very happy to msg him whole day. as though he's next to me =)
didnt have to wait long.. he's just there whole day. im so glad =)
i odn get this kind of day everyday. due to work. .or he's busy with stuffs. .lots of stuffs.. so yea. am happy i get to spend this day. =) really treasure it man =)
really puts a smile on my face too  ha. is today valentines day alreayd? =)

gohs todya super tired. wow. no energy. restless. so glad he's by my side. well in a way yup through msging.

gosh super tired.

anway, just read this news on newspaper.. they say australia having big trouble with rasicism or something.
gosh. =/ somemore on jan 26 yea...
australia day. .soemthign happened.. .it sounds so serious. . then theres this chinese girl dislike australia day. becasue once she's all dress up and put on dunno owhat sticker on her face.. .wearing gold bliue. .dunno what. then the drunk aussies yelled at her to go home! you look so chinese.
=/
i knowits bad there.. but i didnt know up till now, it's still so bad with racist and stuff going on.  just hope samm will be fine there.

u know know if u come across some drunk aussie at night or waht... they can get very violent especially if this is a hot issue right now. its a small problem. .but.. .they just .. cant accept chinese eh =/ so weird.. .but yea. i hope aust will be fine soon.
as long as he's fine there

anyway, i think tonight i can slp very well =)
he is very extra sweet to me today ^^ hahaha. =P so nice. ^^
uh huh. happy desu...
really glad to have his company throughout the day. and we both off today too ^^ weee.....

kk. gonna watch bro play game. wanna slp =/ but yea need to watch.

jaa!

guys with sexy lingerie

before i totally forget.. .gosh...  totally man..

ok. so.. i duno how to reply when mums asking about him. .like u know. i dunno. cos dunno what she'll think .she was asking me recently.. hows he.. never come sg isit.. or visit grandma here .. nvr wish them happy cny now? when i nvr say much, then another day... hows he. .got gf there now isit.. .see.. .how am i supposed to reply.. gosh. anwyay, she moved on . (but i get it. she;s just really concern about me and my future.  no harm. it sok)

anyway, she said her postman.. yea she work at this post .. so postman.. was telling her of this man from malaysian who used to work there... mum said she met him come to think of it. =.= but unsure of her memory la.
so.. he was saying to my mum...  that man from malaysian..  he's very good at earning money. No smoking, No drinking, and kind. .blah3.... wanna intro to ur daughter?  mum said to him. .ok i ask my daughter first.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

WTHHHH =.=''''''''

match making or what???? holy crap.im not in my 40s mum =.=''''''

anyway, mum was saying. .good leh.. .he handsome somemore... if u know me, i don go for looks.
well, my mum dont. anyway i dont talk to my family about anything regarding my personal life. not good i know.. =/ but.... .sighs. o well. just hope wont end up like my fren's dead sis or my colleague's wrist.

anwyay, yea. i made it clear. NOOO Olike. HELL NOOOOO.... omg
so funn yla she. =.='''' haiz.
but yea. its .. .goodness.. =.= what kind of era are we in now? omg
but yea. oen thing. hate matchmake' / another thing . hate ppl tell me handsome good etc...
i will see with my own eyes, heart and feel. no need ppl tell me. own judgement is the best. i trust my heart.

anyway, i din slpt well. had nightmares about my ebay... gosh. glad htats a deamr. then weird dream about sammy being both a man n woman, and he's liek cheating on me with another woman. then his woman side is nice to me? i couldnt remember. but yea. disturbing dream=/

mm.. yea. been dreaming often of him lately. more good ones though

anwyay, slpt realy late. almsot 4? then wakey early. =/ wanna lie in bed but.. cant. just. think alot ba.
then.. haiz. yea

i thought his movies was like in cinema. my thinkings are so naiive. XD lol. liek only one way. baka ne. =./=
was waiting for his msg thas why slpt alte. but anyway glad he slpt early. i know how that feels. liek now ba. totally zzzzzz
perhaps i should off my internet next time im out too.
thoguht a tleast he couldve charged phone in apartment. .but. o well.
sounds liek a really nice night.  but true. movies can make u tired.
i once watched 2 movies in a row with my fren, and omg. knees paIN!!! soooo pain. i cant go throug the third. nono. no third. ha.

anwyay, yea. hate it whne off day couldnt rest well. then working, it sliek i can slp longer. dotsss=.=

haiz. not been eating well and all. .i am ba. but. =/ ... .
just.. yea. very unhealthy.

im trying hard to save now.
its irritating when u crave to eat good food. but to save even a dollar or two, i'll go for okok ones.. .
and its not satisfying

anyway, with sammys encouragement, im picking up cookbooks again. heh.
yup.
but. .depends. as much as i wanna cook ,even my off day can be so tiring .=/ . this is sg, not australia or anywhere else where u get plenty of rest?
anyway yea. but if i want to, i can gather up al my enegeyr and cok one big meal. weeeee
ic ant wait

oh . u know this famous actor in sg? christopher lee. he;s married to fann wong. another famous actress.
anyway, today i read 8 days, and so interesting. its valentines day issue.
tlaking about perssies and all.. when it comes to sexy lingerie ,
he replied.. .fanna once push him into the lingerie store, and ask him buy a pair for her. but he say that stoe is like.. sellign all sorts of underwears. he cant simply go.... so do you have the sexy type of lingeries??  LOL. i was like. .yea true. he's a famous actor ne. haha
he say of course he love them. bu no chance to buy!

i was like amazed. guess he's a man too ba. lol. i nvr expect him to reply of course i love the sexy lingeries. XD!! wow. man is man indeed. anyway, yea. but its bracve for a man to step into a lingerie store with his woman, and even much more braver when he step in there just to find a nice lingerie for his partner. very brave i tell u.

the other day, i had this custoemr . a man. the normal, fashion guy. not scary weird sort of man. anyway, he bought this i dinnuo. its a small box from lasenza. im guessing its a underwear? anwayyy yea he bought it or his gf. omg. i wa slike. so brave? very nice
but super brave.
he;s liek carrying aorund the lasenza logo paperbag. .pink n black paperbag. omg. relaly kudos to him .
he asked me to wrap it up for him. another kudos because you're asking a female lady to wrap for u..  imagienwhat wouldve that lady think ? but im ok so yea.
and he bought another swavorski thingy fo rher. duno whats that.t necklace? or hwat?
anwyay, yup.
brave man.

but usually i'l lask sammy to head out .lol .XD becaus ehe'll be so bored in there!! and i think its awkward for him tooo ba.

anwyay, i saw this man. big size manly man, wiht hi s wife  ba im guessing. in pandora. i always walk past pandora as its near toilet. htey ar ehavign valentines rnage now. red nad pinkish ba. the beads

anwyay, this man, he was trying on the pandora. omg. wow. i didnt know pandora suits a man too! they have men range? cool

kk. gtg. my head is spinnign ,not enough slp, tired, and haiz. headache=/

hope its gonnabe a good off day.

mata

boney

dunno was it cso of me working too hard or what, i felt that im losing more weight after the trip back form syfd. or after cny.
=/
muscles gained, ? or what i dunno. but now i can feel my arms bones. like. little meat, but more bones.
.. its pretty weird. cos i never touch that feel before formy arms. like. .i feel the biones. .n u guys know how much i dislike that. especially when i see my frens who're like.. .super skinny. me not like that .but .. yea. i dunno hwats happening. cos of workload??

haiz

anwyay, gosh had a dark briuse on my hand today=/ wth.

today, bother bywork. but im trying hard not to. stupid rgm.
always say one thign then another=(((( sighs.

whos gonna recognixzed my hardwork? =((

...

haiz... .

o well =/

...

anyway, yea.
ne. have u ever thought of.. how u are gonna talk with someones paretn who doesnt even react or speak with u?
when u talk, they don react. then what would u do?>
ever come across that?
 ..

somteims i wonder.. why parents focus so muc on how their future blah2 in law is treating them . instead on how they are treating their children. doesnt ur own flesh n blood matter to u the most? then why isnt their happiness the least of ur concers at all .

..sighs.

=/ there goes the missing him again...

its late now. .guess immma slp abit later.
almost fell aslp on couch but yea.
..o well..
gess i wont get to msg him

mata

can't describe love =)

hey guys. imma blog a very quick one . me fell aslp in living room again! i knowwww how many nights in a roll now!! gosh im super slpy eh. =/

anwyay, doctor who's movie kept me awake this time. sad they changed ppl again inseason 5=(( haiz....
gosh. never thought i would like doc who series. LOL. thx to bro =.=

anyway, quick blog.

very slpy n all. trying to hang in there at work .haiz

mm... i have no idea what to blog now. had so many thoughts. but didnt note thenm down. then now im on my kepyborad, i forgot everything=.= always! ha

u know . .he aske dme what welse i like about him. ha..

i msg him like.. long long one. haha.
but u know. when u lvoe someoen , u just ant put ur finger into it. theres this familiar touch and feeling.. comfy level when he's just next to u..
things like that cant be explained nor being put to words. u can describe them, but u're not able to describe them out 100% of how u feel.
love is a very interesting thing on this earth.
don u think?

no need any reason. the feelings stirred up inside of u is one in a millioon chance of having it.
no one is perfect. even if near perfect , perhasp theres still a trait or two u find it unsatisfy with. huaman nature eh? greedy for more.
soemtimes becasue of this, ppl loses their focus, .. to give up and chase after the others. .in the end, only to realize too late that what once was their apple, is now gone and now turning back to the one who gave up on them....

anyway, .. .yea. learn to compromise. accept. love even the flaws. you'll live happier together as you are gonnabe spending the time with each other for life. yup. life. not ur parents, not ur bro n sis. its your spouse. ur partner.

dont be too greedy now.
see the good. not the bad.
so what if somethign u don like in ur love one. the good surpasses the bad.
everyone has them. don worry too much.
i think thats how i see him too. only his good. yup.

but its just an amazing feeling isnt it. i can list out and htink of hte points of why i love him. but the truest , deepest feeling, of how u lvoe and know someone, .. that could not be described at all. its wordless.
you'll only know if you were me.
perhaps thats what they meant huh.
you dont need any reasons to love someone.
u just know it when you do. =)

gosh hair's still damp =.=

no choice. 230am liao .gotta slp soon!!

hope you guys will look at ur bf or gf now. think of the good times and love u felt given by the. appreciate them . be thankful that someone is even showing u all these care. even care more than themselves.
it is not easy to meet someone like that. and when u do, you'll know what to do .dont let go.
for you might never meet another person like that in a million years to come...
regrets are for a lifetime. its too painful to live each day with that.
the most important thing is not to have any regreats. major ones tha is .

oh yea. u know what. oh yea. i think i blogged about it before.
playboy bras cant ship to sg!!!! OMG. only to au and nz. im soooo glad i spend my money on that piece of bra i've been eyeing for. thansk goodness i heed his advice!!! phew.
seriously man.. =/ i wish to go syd agaib. if only can see him... then also paddys market. .coles.. the chips... the pringles us edition.. huuu =( gums... bras n thigns. .huu....
i miss all .but most of all, i miss him=(

the feelign i get each time i see him.
i ownder. .if he's as happy and excited as i did when he see me.. .
soemtimes.. i cant tell ... cos of a man's reaction? or what.. .

mata

runny is back

gosh so tired and slpy lately. been fdalling aslp on the couch in living room for nights straight. except for last night .cos was out with frens.

so tired still. but i figured out it'll be nice to catch up with some frens. cos of work busyness, i hardly get to see them. so yea=/
even though superbly slpy, (my fren also) but i stil ldecided to go ba

phone was on silent mode. =/ so sorry that i made him worried for me .but i reached home early so yea. i think about 2 plus should be home liao ba
haiz. gosh totaly tired out. headache too cos of drinks.
clubbing life really sucks man. i only like to go club with him.

anyway, work been busy as wlel. my life is liek . .so tiring now.

oh. my colleague, slash her wrist. because a quarral or fight with fiance. =(((( sighs.. .a couple of slashes u know. and i din even notice them. sighs.. .i hope she'll be fine.
so heart pain for her. i totaly feel her. i feel her pains, her thoughts, the reason why she'll do that. .etc. she's not willing to talk. but still smile2 and all. she's innocent and blur woman. she lookd young ,but she's like 28 or so. cant remeber . but yea. everyone thoguht she's younger than her age. ha.
genes ba?

anyway... yea. i feel so sad for her. =/ such a ncie woman.. shouldnt do that to herself. but then again, i myself also ... ha. yea. do stupid thigns before. so .. ...yea. .dunno how to tla to her. sigsh. =/ hope she'll be fine soon.
that stupid fiance of hers. .dont deserve her. ..but she had a failed engament once. if this fails too how? =( i hope she'll be fine. sighs.. .
women are fragile creatures....
its difficult to find a man to care and hold her in his arms like a pearl .
haiz. =/ just hope she find the man she deserves

u know,  i took a couple of pics recently, and i discovered that my head is so small. i know its small. but my face also .then when i took pics with my frens, my fae so small, and their face so big! some more their younger than me ne. ha. i wonder. .if i ever wear a helmet, whats sonna happen XD

oh that day watche this american got talent show. this short man. wedding singer. wearing glasses. look liek a nerd . abit plumb chubby . bald in middle . dressing liek a nerd too. abit la. like  pants. .typical type of office wear. collar shirt that type. plain design with stripes. ppl thought he cant sing. he' s gonna amke a fool out of himself. u can tell ppl looking at him like. .o..k... wahts he gonna do. anyhow sing?
anwyay, he's form portugal? no. i cant rememebr. a place from taken  ' the movie. where the bad guy's from.

anwyay, point is, he open up his mouth, he sang this beautiful opesra sort of song. wow. his voice is big. its powerful. its awesoem .he can be a singer right away.
who wouldnt love this type of man?
not me of course cos i have someone else in my heart XD
but anyway, seeee.... he got this amazing thing in him. dunno why teh way ppl look at him like. .so judgemental. so sad n bad=/

haiz. me runny nose whoel day again. =/ nvr been like this ever since i got back from syd.
i felt terrible man=/
med not working either. =/ cant wait to slp n have a nice slp.

really apprecite him for his company ytd.
=)

hugs. rememebr guys, don pick a fight with ur darling anyhow aites. not worth it. end up both parties get upset. talk it out, face it, and be open to explainations . but.. don try to hide anything in the first palce ba.
wanna say must say, need to say, just say it. no need to hold back. if hold back, too late, truth uncovered, stil lend up hurting the one u love most .

gosh im so cold. plus with nose like this. huu =/

jaa mata! hope tmr i'll be fine laio. cos med finish. huu