how i really wish to have him by my side.... like now. =(
its so tough fo rme... sighs.. .
these few days i no appetite.. only had abit of lunch.. lil bit of dinner..
then ytd oculdnt slp till about almost 5am. then wakey on n off to check phone.. cos very worried.
so yea.i went to report. i cried.. then i stopped . then i asked myself hwy musy i cry. then i cried again. cos found out dad wasnt supportive of hte idea. he's the type of person who wil lavoid all troubles and rather suffer abit.
then i was confident mum wil lsupport me. she said ti herself wat. no matter what u do, mum will always support u''. soemmore we hav a relative whos in police force or something. then she also say. no la. don wan.
wait alot of troubels. very ma fan.. must keep going in and out for investigations .
not easy. i understand from the so called old ppl point of view.
but... i rrl thought they'll suppoprt me... =( .... but i didnt get any suppor tofrm them. htat really broke my heart into pieces. where were u when u say you'll support me no matter what i do.
he's a bloody outsider.
somemore only admit to stealing the flyer ticks because obcioulsy my bro only has proof abt the tixsx. then the voucher and other tics. ? how come can gone missing liek that. gth. don coerm play with me.
i tell u . im not liek my family soft hearted. u left me alone to die in australia, now i will let u die a more painful death. of course i cant gurantee if thas gonna happen. however, at leats i;ve done something abouit it. if nothign happen, karma will do so for me.
i cant let this matter go because of the thought that he left me to die alone in syd.
i wont be soft hearted.
...if htat the reason why ppl tell me im strong?
..i dunno. i am not. ive nvr think of myself as a strong person.
..i cried. behind closed dorr so many times..
i kept thigns to myself. .
i get through the dark period of my life by myself..
i dunno .thast even consider as strong??
so ..weird.
or was it becasue im always so cheerful and happy in front of my oclleagues and frens.. .
i din tell htem my probs ..i dunno. why would they say im strong?
because my love one is far away from me?
or because i kept probs to myself and stay professional at work
im not strong.. inside my heart is breaking.. .piercing through every ounce of ... ....
....
tears.. keep rolling..
the pains in my heart.. the betryals. .disappointments.. trust.. .
how can i still stand still...
but work is work. true. i haev and will be professional on the floor.
recently theres another work issue.
long story. i no mood to tlak abou tit.
let sjus say im headin gto other outlet.. that was once rejected by another store manager.
anywyaa,
so much thigns going on... god. im starting to hate 2012 alreyad.
sighs... headache now. cos nvr slpt well. only few hours of incompleye rest.
..but glad report been made.
sighs.
don provoke me. i can be swt as an angle. but if u do this type of immoral thign to me and my familym be prepared to be punished.
i wont let it go.
not especially when he's so heartless to leave me alone penniless in a foreign country. thigns couldve gotten worse if sam and my fren aint around to help. i'll be liek hwat? begging on the roads fdor cab money. and starve to death. or by eating worms to survive????
nvr ever will i be allow to be treated lie this. not when i tereated him so nice. so frnely. so good. caring.
now no mroe.
he can go die go jail for all i care. he derserved to be punished.
ha. when i aske ddad . .so whos gonna pay me back my money!? he said. .we can slowly pay u back after i foudn a job... i asked how long? if he got money ,he wont need ot ask mum fo rmoney liao .
somemroe moeny to treat his leg. and i no need to pay for hte house liao.
..
baka desu. why be so nice to redzz? why ?
my dad is so silly . or innocent at tiems. sighs...
i'll rather go through the storm.. to get my revenge
can tell bro also stil lsiding and pity his mum... but i told him what he did to me ..he said thats true too.. .anwyay yea
i din had any lunch. no appetite.
hope can finish off some dinner.
wish my health peeps.
i hope tmr i can finsih osme proper meal.. one day..one meal.. cannot survive fo rl long
recently wore the bracelt my bro gav eme ofr b'day. dunno why it feels liek. .loose. lkie sammy's bracelt to me.. but i dunno .how skinnier can i get?
..so manythings happened. .so pain.. so much pain...
i felt lil happiness arond me. but gd thing theres sstil lhim..
i will leave this place i fi have the chance . if i stay here without love nor happiness, i'll die one day.
worried about my fmaily, but still i'll leave.
thats my only chance at surviving this world
mata
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