For tmr!

aw... sammy's gonna be gone for quite a couple of few times this 2 weeks.. =/

well.. he gotta do what he wanna do ba..

my day.. slp.. then buy ingredients. .then cook.. yay.. me done a good job =D then.. online/ then rest abit.... then cook..

oh.. realises that the mee goreng i cooked last time, omg.. cos of on eingredietn, i messed it up! its tamarind im supposed to use! not tumeric!! LOL. cos i didnt see properly LOL. hahhaha.... anyway, now i learned my mistake, haha.. its all good=)

cant wait for my weekend off..

haiz.. now working. .hasnt been that fun.. =/ o well... tch.. just hang on ba... and see how..

hm... yeah.. basically today just rest.. and chat with sammy.. no movie tonight though.. cos.. yeah.. he's busy. anyway.. kinda prepared for htat already. gosh.. been sooo long since i watched a movie in cinema =( i miss watching movies....
theres a nice cute one out now.. ha. hm.... o well............

just hope.. theres something to cheer me up for this week ba.. since sam is gone.. then.. i'll erm.. guess i'll find time to catch up with my frens too ba. hm.... just wanna get over these 3 days fast... =/

hope tmr will be fine..
oh.. today.. bought the ne and jerry ice cream.. new flav.. yummy.. but as usual.. melts fast. ha.

=/ hm......... me so wish to see sam..

oh.. seems like his job hunting today not much of any news.. nonetheless.. im glad he tried. =) yeah.. he did^^ this kind of matter mus t be patience ba.. like redz. took him soo many months then found a job. so yeah. .sam will be alrite.. just gotta yeah.. find time ba..

hm. .well... ganbate ne... many months before i get to see sam again.. i tell myself. this time, no matter what.. cherish each other.. don get angry at lil thigns.. just compromise.. love him. .spend al l the time watching over him. uh huh... i wil hold his hand so tight............

and for the thigns i regretted never do or buy, ha.. i'll try to make sure htat wont happen again XD

ah.. sydney.. cant wait to head there again...

weird.. thought theres alot to say.. but kinda forgot already.. ha.

well.. anyway.. i hope sam will be fine tmr................ uh huh... party huh.. kinda disliek that word..

mata

Movie Sadness

today.. was out with my family. dad is working , so couldnt join us. well, today.. i feel quite.. relax i must say.. cos long time never head out to shop..walk around.. so yeah.. spend time with bro and mum.. oh.. theres this part of the day.. where i was crossing the road while on the phone with my bro, as i was trying to look out for him in ntuc.. wondering how come he can see me and i cant spot him yet.. so yeah.. wasnt paying attention to the road.. i did though.. but only to the first road to cross.. then, i keep looking out for him, i forgot the car is coming in another direction! not the same as the one i just crossed. so yeah.. then i turned my head, and saw a white car coming.. luckily its slow!! omg......... O.O then me quickly take on my steps, and head towards safety. so yeah.. imagine had the car been a fast one, i would've been looking right at ntuc in front of me, and kena.. ahem.. by car already. =/ gosh.... sigh.. this crossing road thingy.. me really.. haiyo... dunno ba.. just hope will keep on reminding myself....
will be safe ne. for him i will.

hahaha... theres this cute little hand towel comes in a shape of a little dress..like for a baby girl. omg.. i really like it sooo much!! haha... cos its soooo cute!! so yeah.. its home with me nowXD haha. but really ..gosh.. its sooo cute. XD hahaha...

hm.. how nice if my ntuc here is same as the one at pp.. so many nice things there u know.. so many nice and special ingredients..

ha.. i was wondering when can i have the time to read my ingredients book. sam uses my advice.. and ask me to read one page a day. but.. u know.. its right.. cos.. if not.. i might fall aslp, or too tired to read.. then book might end up taking a year to finish!O.o gosh.. don wan that. .so yeah.. me decided to at least.. one page a day. and will do my best to remember what i'd read before i sleep.
anyway can look back abit when im reading another new page again ne.
ha.. just opened it up today. oh, also bought another cookbook today. tmr.. might be getting another one.XD lol. see how ba! hahaha...

me spt late.. and wakey early. .cos wanna msn with swty. .he say will bring lappy to school.. so yeah.. indeed, managed to catch him for abit.. then after that, me cant slp back already. ha. so wakey all the way.. now a lil slpy. haha..
but feeling good. so yeah =)

glad me shop for food stuff.. useful stuffs.. actually bro and mum too. ha. we never went in to any boutiques u know. just supermarkets, watson.. petshop.. hahaha.. =) but its good isnt it =) instead of shopping for clothes and stuff. we bought useful items =)
and i dont feel guilty. cos im saving hard to see swty baby.. and yeah.. i uses my money at the right place =)
still, i gotta save up nonetheless.

ah.. came across the pressy i was eyeing for sam's mum again.. feel like buying it now. but.. dunno when i'll actually be heading there.. so yeah... me just scared the thing will sold out and no more when i decided to get it.. thats all... ..so yeah. .hope not ne. .or maybe i should buy first huh.. hm...

redz workplace got this girl like him. LOL. then she keep msging him.. always chat2 ask here ask that.. he got irritated.. XD lol. but he didnt see her much as she's a partimer. then i ask him if she got ask him out or sumtin.. he say he tell her he's dating someone. then she still like.. keep msging him.. then also ask who's that lucky girl... gosh... see... this is what im telling sam about. i hate this type of girls! still can pretened to be friendly as a fren.. ask this. .ask that.. laugh2.. still keep on msging... yeah... a friend. bt so?? if msg so much.. then not nice right.. anyway ,point is, this type of wont give up kinda girl just argh me off. pretencious, fake, and try to get close still on the pretext of being still frens with ya.. eew...... Scheming girls!! hate those. pfft! -_-

ah.. haiyo.. abit long time never watch videos of me and sam together.. used to watch often before i found this job.. then cry when i watch. .especially the one at sentosa.. he say.. he love swty.. anyway.. yeah.. gotta find time to watch him again. =)

ah.. the only thing i bough besides food.. is battery.. and one ring. cheap one. few bucks only. i like it. very special. theres crystals inside the ring which can spin. haha. but.. i got this feeling it wont last long. maybe.. colour will run off.. or will break.. something like that.. so yeah.. anyway, have it while i can ba.

hm.. its nice to have 2 straight off days... ah.. feels good to know tmr not working... phew...... relax........

k then.. enjoy my off while i can. tmr might have a date coming up. shall see if my partner have the time or not.
muakzy him for doing such good job,and being hardworking. =)
thats my baby dearest =)
tonight.. never get to skype with him.. well.. at least we did have a nice conversation.. so yeha.. its good.. cute ,funny.. nice convo.. =)
ha.. love his neh neh neh neh neh... XD aww... love every part of him! of his personality.. he's the best. =)

ah... see... no skype, but at least can see his face right.. haiyo. .forgot to webcam! cos too much fun chatting with him.. will be nice to see him smile today.. must be lots? ha.. dunno.. but yeah..
oh.. he was telling me about a chinese movie... aww... yeah.. like so sad ne.. those love story type of movies.. i cant watch if im alone, or even with frens,family.. i cant bear to.. like what he said.. will feel so sad, then will cry =( huu.........
theres a coupe of those type of movies are nice i heard.. but yeah.. never have the courage to watch it.. that time. .when sam was still here in sg, we were waiting for movie to start.. then we're watching this trailer outside the cinema.. like.. haven gone in yet.. then this job love movie.. so sad sia.. really2 sad.. like. .kinda.. they got separated or something.. or he went away to do something.. not sure already.. then theres another guy very nice to her.. then one day the guy1 bashes the guy2(her fren). then she say run to the guy1 side and shouted.. guy 2 was the one who's by her side all along when she's having her toughest time. .or something like that. so yeah.. sad movieT_T couldnt bear to watch it with sam.. unless he want to. he squeezes my hand for abit when the girl said that line. i know.. but. .well, i wont say such things to him ever.anyway ,i think ending... hm... think she'll still choose the guy1 ba. always have good endings ar.. so.. yeah..
oh then.. yeah.. sam never watch finish that chinese movie.. cos he say feel sad watching it..as he understand how the guy feels.. yeah.. me too.. what he say, is what i'll say too... huu..

hm.. today got so much things to talk with sam huh. O.o nice ne ^^ ha..
ah.. tmr.. really praying him all the best for him.. gdluck with finding job.. and manage his schoolwork well.. and the test on thurs... hm.. job... yeah.. i think.. really better if go into shop and ask personally..

just done talking with sammy.. aww... so glad to make him.. erm.. haha.. yeah.. me happy. so don wish to put down phone ya know..
we chatted so much.. end up me also never get to watch the time out for him. didnt know late already ne..
i hope he can rest lots.. get enough slp...

mata ne.

Lucky Woman

argh.. somebody uses my code again... at work. irritating, but at least my manager knows it. i didnt evenknow they did that! its for discount.. but only managers there can give. gosh. dunno why they so stupid. anyway, my manager talked to my fren about it. .cos it seems like she know something.. in the end me never ask her what happen.. cos manager already said its not regarding me or sumtin.. so yeah.. but whatever it is, cnat be bother.

im so slpyyyy

erm..today theres japanese ppl asking to find merlion chocolates. but they could not speak english at all. nor able to understand. .so i ask them to ask the guy outside our shop.. cos they always have ppl there ready to give direction. but they couldnt understand what im saying.. so i spoke in jap.. i say 'that man there'.. then they understood. XDlol. it felt goood. lol. finally get to use abit of jap lol.
anyway, yeah... all the more make me wanna learn..

i felt lighter. better now. cos i wonder if my thinkings about the whole matter is right.. and after talking to my fren who gone through the same thing, i realized i was right indeed. and i wont try to ever force or keep on asking what sammy really did in his day..
its long story ba. .lets just say.. women.. we can talk alot of things. .from food. .to ppl.. to injuries.. to strangers we dislike.. or even hunger.. or aches.. anything i guess... but for men.. they dont really pay attention to details.. nor try to remember whats happening around them.. erm.. i dunno. well, anyway, now i realizes that, and.. yeha. its ok now.. no more worries. so.. uh huh...
phew.. feels much better now =)
at first.. i thought. .its kinda hard to be in part of his life routine.. or sumtin.. but then.. well, just take it slow.. erm. .like.. yeah... dont have to force anything to happen.. i mean.. yeah.. now that i understand, the whole pic, its easier now i think..

my fren.. yeha.. was separated from her hubby for 4 months before able to come join him in sg. she cried everynight too. ha. very almost all similar to me.
she was fren with him at age 16. then 19 started dating.. then age 25 got married. they tried for a baby really hard and painful for her.. took her 10years to conceive. anyway, well, she said when they were bf ,and gf, they always fight almost everyday.. ha. but still they last. =)
she said he never said 'i love u' to her. she ll always ask him.. do u relaly love me? haha... then hes like. yeha..
until.. he came to sg.. then start to realise her importance or sumtin. then finally tell her.. he misses her and he Love her. XD lol. she was like. . are u sick??
lol. then yeah.. after the 4months of separation , they finally together again, and she say they never fight , and he became sooo much sweeter after that. he even try to find one day one joke and type to her wanna make her laugh while they were separated. XD hahaha.. he really changed huh! she say before that, he dunno how to say i love u.. or do such sweet thigns.. hahaha... anyway, she's a lucky woman now. her husband even now still will always wait for her at busstop or below block to walk her home when he cnat pick her up.
soooooooooooooo sweet!!!!! she's about.. 32 now? or 37.. erm.. lets just say 30 plus. ha.
so yeah.. .i cna tell.. they have such a happy relationship. and her son.. gosh! so mature and clever! not childish at all like other kids who kept asking for toys.. wow.. so lucky...
thats the kind of child i wish for if i ever have any...
well, her marriage is great too. glad she's have a happy life now.

my life.. ...hm.. well.. haven realy get started. bt i know.. .im not alone. .sammy is part of my life now.. and im so forever glad to have him as part of my life.
he was saying such nice things about future if we are.. yeha.. its great. cos.. we shared the same views.. and.. believe it or not, lol. me always wanted to make him a nice erm.. ok... perhaps he wont want cute.. but yeah.. just nice, and yummy deliciously gdlooking bento for him. ^^ i mean lunchbox. =) the cute bento, will have to wait till if theres any children in future. lol. so cute u know.. those bento... wow.. if im a kid, sure love to eat.

so.. yeha. .waiting for my wishes to come true... for now, im working hard to make sure i get to fulfill my wish even for a short while... that is, to see him again. thoguht cant stay with him for long in person.. but yeah.. even for a week.. its like a miracle huh... still, a dream come true for me..

i just wanna hug him tight.. and look at him hard and long... that moment, i tell u.. its enough to give me as much happiness as u could possibly imagine. .
but of course.. dream ended, back to reality.. i could only hold onto those swt new memories i brought back with me.. and hold on.. till the day i get to hug and kissy him everyday of my life without fail..

he's about to wakey..in about 5mins time .. yay.. slpy.. plus never eat much.. ok ba.. not that dizzy.. however.. uh huh... maybe get to see him in msn in abit eh.. heh.

oh.. me wanna read. yeah.. thought of reading... but wait. my cook books.. wait.. my hobby language... O.o... how am i onna sort out the time.. hm.. wait.. perhaps theres a way.. heheheh...

mata

Job Money Time=?

ok.. dunno where to start.. cos a couple of things are on my mind now.. gotta settle abit before slp.. hm.. or.. perhaps not.. anyway... oh.. the other day, i was having break with my bro.. then bumped into his colleague.. who commented that we does not look like siblings at all! thought i was my bro's gf!XD lol. anyway, not the first time ppl say we dont look alike. ha.. i wonder why huh XD

anyway.. like.. not much fun at work.. things are getting a lil dull =(... sigh.. i duno.. just... ..haiz... trying hard to find passion in it. .i dont like to force.. but yeah... ...o well.. we shall see...

decided to send in my resume again for my fren. like. .so hard to turn it down. .somemore, its just like taking a chance thats all.. doesnt mean i'll have to agree..

oh.. victoria's secret.. haha. thx to my fren, me found the online shopping website. got the bras!!! XD oops. =P
anyway, yeah.. always wanted that.. but. .me spend quite abit of money lately.. =/ so.. sigh.. me decided not to buy any.. =( gotta save money.. perhaps next month when pay comes in.. just reward myself one item eh.. yeah.. the shipment.. plus the bloody tax.. gosh.. from 50 bucks worth of items, can turn into 80 bucks ne. -_-
anyway.. yeah.. next month shall see...

u know... whenever im sad, or anything upset me, i'll tell sammy.. but.. actually didnt wanan mention this here.. but was kinda confused.. cos.. did said so.. wanna tell each other even regarding the slightest thing that happen.. but for redz case last night.. , i already forgot about it.. plus... i don care.. plus... im not upset anymore.. so.. its ok right?...
haiz. .dunno.. anyway, whats over is over.. no use talking about sad stuff... anyway, its just redz..
but.. i dont feel sam is telling me about the lil details that happen in his day... but i dont like to force.. i can remind one time or 2.. then.. yeah.. at the end of the day, he's a guy we're tlaking about here aint it. u know.. guys. .very different from us women..

ha. .lazy to correct my spellings.. sorry.. hope u guys can read and understand..

so.. i did mentioned right? last night. .that me didnt know what to tlak about with the ppl my age group.. lol. gosh.. still trying me.. ha..

tmr. .gosh. .gonna be sooo boring =( 10 and half hours.. sigh..........
help me...

oh.. tmr sam got a test.. i wish him all well... whether he got high marks or not, im sure he'd done his best. =) and thats whats important ne..hehe.

hm.. slpy... abit tired still... ah.. my dinner.. nt been eating properly... actually, im kinda fine with that sometimes.. though might get a lil dizzy when im home.. but.. yeah.. used to it. fine with it.
.?

gosh.. thigns haven settle yet... haiyo..
plus theres this awesome book me jst bought. .haven open up yet either.. -_-
i need more time!!!!!!!!!!
how to manage.. now. how.................
but.. i dunno.. my time is just for sam.. tch.. me also not sure how huh..
miss him so much.. =(
sigh..........................

ha. everytime wet my eyes.. whenever i try to feel sam there.. hugging me now.. cos i had a bad day at work.. or just tired... kissing me.. even with eyes open.. i could feel it.. picture it.. but... ...couldnt see him.. so.. kinda.. make things alil more... yeah.. .tch.. its frustrating sometimes.. cos.. i just want him by my side.. and its.. something it couldnt..... ...u know.. =/
...o well...... its a long journey.. ...

i want more money.. but i want fun too... ha.. tough life eh........

u get more time with job.. then u get money...( but if not careful enough.. )then u lose time with love ones.. then u lose them......
with regrets.........

what is my decision.. i wonder how to handle my time.. sigh.. so wanna go for the course.. =/

hmm...... wonde rif thats all i gotta say... O.o erm.. k.. thats it for now then..
gdnight peeps.

mata

=/

='( sobbing now...... huu..... T_T ... me sad................
had a tired day.. abit.. i dunno. .not say tough.. but yeah.. just.. pushing hard abit.. then.. blah3.. hours passed.. then.......... got home... was glad to see redz.. cos he and bro around, can make my night abit better. cos.. i just hate being laone wihtout sam with me.. so.. with htem. .yeah.. i feel better.. but.. after a shower, me saw bro playing michael buble's songs. concert.. dvd.. then me not say very much like him nor his songs.. so being puzzled, i asked bro what nonsense song is that..(that he's singing when i was out). then redz said something. me didnt catch it.. no hear it.. then bro stop moving(he was like.. clapping hands.. or something). i was like.. huh.. why he stop suddenly.. then me dunno got say anythigj else anot. .then redz say.. ''thats not a nonsense song. theres memories behind it'' then i asked . memories for u? he say yes.. then i asked.. did i say nonsense? he say yes. i realy3 forgot what i'd said as i'd just came outta the bathroom.. so me no idea.. so he say yes.. and all those words and line, he said it with a straight face like mad... cos i offended him!! i was like... what??????????? ( i never say what. but think to myself that..) i din even know what im saying.. somemore, how would i know that...! u dont have to tlak to me in that manner!! ok. so somethign pissed him off. i totlly understand. maybe thats the song he shared with his ex passed away gf. but.. u shouldnt used that manner and tone against me! im like that.. if im not in the wrong, don expect me to apologize. i wont do it. cos it aint my fault.

sigh................................................................
what a weekend huh... =(
today.. ppl were walking around town... couples with couples... frens with frens.. family with family.. shopping... shopping.. shopping................
................
T_T
..so wanna curse right now.............. but i hate it.. but yeah.. so feel like cursing out now...... so wanna.. destress............ =(

god.. i wish sam is here... T_T but i guess its time like this.. i still cant be dependent on him.. cos he's never gonna be there for like years time.. yearssss...

so... by the end of the night, im very tired already...
erm.. yeah.. still having probs of thinking what to say to the customers of my age...
just.. compliment on their stuffs i guess.? ha
oh.. but i try to refrain from speaking to the guy with gf though.. if i did, see, it might cause the gf to get jealous right? so.. yeah.. unless they're not walking together, then.. yeah... me can talk abit..
gosh.. i hope this training will be over soon..

oh.. fren is introducing me this job thingy.. just gotta send my resume.. but....... he say the pay for mine now is kinda low! O.o i wonder how much the basic pay is there... anyway........ trying to ask some infos now.. he say its fun.. hm... =.=... see how.. cos.. o well.....................
yeah.. see how..............

mata

New Bunch Of Customers

sigh.................................................. =(

o well.. =/ oh. .where should i begin...

oh. .was wondering last night.. how to survive years long school if its boring..
nah.. ha.. forget that..

things arent the same i feel..
its just so frustrating..

oh.. had this papers.. about info of my company's founder.. she met her partner(as in husband) in austria mountain. she was from sweden. traveling around and working.. and yeah.. they met.. then she settle down in melbourne with her partner. so nice huh. imagine.. english is her 2nd mother tongue! she doesnt even know what the word invoice mean.
anyway, she worked so hard.. building up her business.. her partner is the one who gave her the idea. so.. yeah. .really really inspiring.. she's such a great person. would so like to meet her one day.

hm.. was home early today.. thought could..accompany sammy more.. cos. he told me he cant stay up late already.. so yeah.. but.. he wasnt online.. then..... ..yeah.. just waiting for now... ..anyway, he's going to bed soon. .late already for him..

im slpy.. so tired.. =/
ha.. o well. .trying to make myself feel happier at work..
oh... now my training.. theres this part i need to do to show my manager.. which is... have a non business conversation with my customers. -_-''... sigh... o well... just talking ar.. what to do..
so... im.. ok sometimes.. but when it comes to teenagers, i dunno what to talk about!XD i mean say.. those in school.. or a bunch of guys.. when guys come in, i usually will walk away after saying hello XD i cant handle them! lol. only with working man i can handle. cos tehy wont have any funny thoughts or what. more mature.
anyway, yeah.. its different bunch of customers for this workplace.. previous one, alot of children, and all parents. now here all kinds of customers. like i'd said.. ppl my age.. or younger teenager.. haiyo.. like.. need to practice alot ne.. o well.. will ganbate lots..

k.. 3 days to go.. =/ o well....

mata

Indian Mee Goreng

SLEEPYYYYYYYYYYY

-_-

oh.. i didnt know veliana is a guy's name???? i dunno.. or did they change person? last night the casting, i was supposed to look for veliana. but the photographer is a man. O.o ...hmm... weird ne.. what kind of name is this for a guy.. O.o hm....

anyway... oh.. i've made my decision.. i've decided to buy the book. ingredient book. uh huh ^^
but.. kinda made me regret never get the cooking book in sydeny. the one sam showed me. i think i still remember the cover.. its white... hm....-_-.. anyway.. yeah.. cant wait to get it tmr. yay

oh! that day went to sentosa, met my fren working there!!XD lol.. small world eh.. geez...he look so grown up now. wow. haha. perhaps too long never meet him.

today.. its nice to shop for the ingredients i need for my dinner.. then.. argh.. one little mistake.. just one.. gosh.. i was this close to making it almost perfect! haiz.... geez... next time i wont save money like that already.. anyway, yeah.. im gonna make this work. so no prob.
..arhg.. so close!

gosh. wakey so early... omg.. im soo slpy... maybe might take a nap.. but.. might end up cant slp at night.. haiyo.........

oh.. it was nice to see sam's msg again.. ha. i looked at my phone.. thinking perhaps he forgot to msg me already in mrg.. then...... went to the toilet.. come back, and saw his msg. ha.. nice...... =)

geez... cant stand this.. but.. i need to tahan....... slpyyyyyyyyyyyy

cant wait for monday night to arrive!!!!!!

mata

Casting It Easy

aww... my swty throat pain.. and.. he need plenty of slp.. =/ huu.. sad ne.. cant keep him well.. cant watch over him.. making sure he's healthy... he can be.. but.. well.. it'll be like.. no communicating at all.. cos.. he'll be slping.. while im awake.. sigh.. i felt bad.. but yeah.. i dunno what to do too.. he say its alrite.. so.. yeah..
..aw.. i just love him so much....

ha.. my colleague know about my situation.. she was like saying she miss her bf.. cos too long never see him.. then me dunno whyXD so auto, touch her shoulder, and tell her, dont say that. XD then she's like.. oh sorry2.. cos yeah.. me miss more.. she knows.. anyway... uh huh...
im so missing him.. oh.. then received his msg today. O.o then. .thoiught he boiught the top up card. .but.. turns out his bro gave him. O.o like.. huh?? wow.. thats nice.. i wonder why.. ?
ha. .if only my bro could do that for me..

last night.. i wasnt feeling too good.. tired. .and hungry.. only had a meal.. so. yeah.. =/
then today.. slpy.. abit tired.. like.. not much mood to serve customers..=/
but.. glad time is kinda fast today in a way.. o well..

then.. head to the model try thingy.. just.. well. i guess its just a shot. but believe me or not, i really truly does not give a .. ahem.. about it.. its like.. i felt like i just need to take this chance, then the rest, doesnt matter at all. at least yeah.. i tried it already. so.. yeah..
ha.. almost lost my way, and stop wrong again. good thing i stop on time. phew!|and yeah. the casting so simple. so fast!! ha. thought what.. -_-

then.. took a cab home.. cos sammy is home. and im so tired already. then the taxi driver.. talk3 all the way till i reach.. he even got me a lil worried there! XD long story. anyway, yeah.. talk all the way.. aboiut his 18yrs old gf .. gosh.. he's a uncle over his 40s i think! anyway, he's friendly. .so yup.. its all good.

oh.. it occurred to me.. . .its not really support i want perhaps.. i just need someoone to accompany me to go for the casting thingy.. perhaps.. thast how huh.. i dunno.. but.. yeah.. having swty's opinion is really important. .as he's a part of my life.
yeha. .and so thats why.. the moment iim stumped for an answer, the first person i though of , is sam.
like.. theres this book i like. .but really not sure hwat to do wiht my decision.. so i ask him.. and yeah.. its good. =)
well, he Is my part of life.. so yeah.. i like it.. i do. the fact that.. theres someone so important out there.. and.. whom i can go to anytime..

wow.. my manager.. she's in love for 12 years.. yeah.. recently got engaged.. but yeah.. thats nice.. and sweet. she say they were living together for about 10 years already. may she's headin gback. while her fiance will be back in september.
wow.. thats swt.. now i know what she means by her fiance took such a longg time to propose to her!XD 12 years together dude!!
oh, that reminded me.. the taxi driver also mention something about.. the one guy waited for his niece for 10 years.. another niece, her bf waited for her 9 yrs before she'll willing to marry him. =.= so long.. wha the.. anyway.. yeah.. thats her story... ... like it.. =)

oh.. today, theres this angmoh couple having a tiff outside my shop! O.o firstly, they came in. .like.. normal.. but.. i dunno.. i have this feeling they aint that loving anymore or sumtin.. the bf even lifted his hand.. and like. in a massage kind of way, hold his gf's back neck.. something like that.. then they went out. .then next thign i know, they were out having a fight, and the girl walk off first, the guy in the opposite direction. so yeah.. walk different ways.. .. glups..

hm.. tired now.. but yeah.. slpy as well..
tmr.. night time. maybe me gonna cook up mee goreng. .tmr wanna head to ntuc i think. .hope can wakey on timeXD haha.. hoping to slp in.. =P
erm.. so.. yeah...

ytd. .well. .the rides are fun. .at tiems i wasnt sure if i was gonna make it.. but hten.. yay.. i pulled it off, and ride it with every smile instead of fear.. =) so yeah.. im proud of it.. and.. erm.. i got all wet. .=.= argh.. well.. theres this mummy place.. its dark and kinda scary ? cos u couldnt see at All.. where the rail is.. so u didnt know when excatly its gonna drop. .so yeah.. cool. but too fast ended!!!

erm.. yeah.. k that s about i t.. i wanna stop blogging now. ha. tired.

mata

USS Day

hm.. i supposed. .i'll keep my blog short.. cos.. yeah. .tired abit. .too much on my mind.. =/

erm.. today i went to universal studio singapore. took alot of pics and stuff..
the rest, i'll update tmr aites. not tonight.

first.. lets see.. im confused.. whether i should go for the casting tmr.. u know.. im scared.. cos its a very weird place.. somemore.. my bro say better dont go.. buT. on the other hand, i know this is a chance. and this chance Might just earn me extra cash.. and who knows.. maybe in the future i might get more chances.. but first thing first.. theres money chances here... so.. how??? =(
sigh.... i mean.. i know.. u gotta be brave, and take chances. so how?... gosh.. i dunno.. =( its like.. i wanna go.. but i need support.. cos.. yeah.. im gonna be alone.. =/
and.. well.. the place just seems so weird.. maybe cos never heard of thats all.
anyway... got a feeling for sure sam sure gonna say no.. maybe he might say up to me. but i think he wouldnt like me to go.. rather me be safe in his arms eh..

anyway... =/ tch... theres 2 casting msg for me today.i was like.. huh? wow? so weird.. but yeah.. one of them replied back.. which is.. for tmr.. so.... ... haiz... dunno how..

yeah.. i need money.. even for abit.. so.. =/ well... ..i might head for a try.. hm.... tch.. dunno ne.. see how.. haiyo......... =/ ..if only someone could go with me.. =(

..sigh.. anyway......... ..erm.. yeah.. today.. just wanna forget work.. same as redz.. ha. so.. yeah.. hm.. very very tired and slpy.. but. .well... .. just need to head out once in a while huh..

=( sigh...............

u know.... ...i.. well.. sam always say anything must tell him.. like.. if sad. also let him know.. so he'll know... ... so.. i've decided to try open up more on that.. instead of keeping in my heart.. wondering.. why this or that.. why not just ask him straight..
well.. i still need practice.. but.. yeah.. in a way i guess... its important to talk nicely and be open huh?.. ..
...but i just dislike confrontation thats all.. thats why.. ..

hm.... =/ well.. today.. i think.. hm.. spent around near $100 bucks huh.. =( nvm.. will save on my lunch.. tmr.. lunch i know what to eat already..
gosh.. tmr.. argh.. tmr night.. how..
take a chance, and i might go further u know.. i wanna try it. but.. like.. no courage or anyone to support me.. i mean.. i just need at least someone to walk there with me.. ..=/ o well..

.... ..

o well..

btw.. me been courageous. ha. more than i know. lol. i smile all the way through every single roller coaster. ;) *smug look. XD haha..
yeah......... didnt expect that.. but yeah.. its nice. bro is the worst.. he couldnt take them.. while redz is good. he's willing to.. but still he scream.. and he got this frighten look on his face. ha..

so.. well.. yup.. its fun. even bro pointed out.. that the seats are very very secured. and makes u feel very safe. good. =)

hm.. me forgot to bring my memory card! for camera! omg...

k.. talk another time.. im a bit dizzy.. me slpt ard 1am. .then wakey at 5.30am.. =/

haiz..

mata..

Different Point Of Views

theres this couple today.. the bf bought very expensive stuff for gf.
very young couple.. then theres this mushroom pen.. which everyone keep saying the designs are soo cute... so.. i showed it to him, he decided to get it.. and he said.. 'ha.. so cute'. saying the pen is cute. =.=''........i was stunned. i keep looking at it.. at every angle.. i wonder to myself.. how come ppl find those stuffs so cute.. which.. i dont. i really dont get it. to me, its so simple. abit childish.. but yeah. too simple. even my manager or custoemrs over 30 also find them cute. i was like. .whats so cute about them. -_-''...
then i realised.. ha.. ok.. so thast why... thats why i like unique designs. .something special. .something that catches my eye.. non wonder i dont fin d them look cute like anybody does.

wow.. so nice huh.. ... now then i know.. sam's breaktime consist of so much fun. imagine.. u're at a bar early in the aftnoon... lol.. i thought he's off to eat.. or study, or hang around the comp.. ha.. i couldn'tve been more wrong. so yeah.. get it? u get to play pool.. and stuff while u're on break. school fun eh? hahah... o well...
at least not too bad for him i guess.. that way he's not bored..
but i found out abit late didnt i...

ah.. hope he get well soon.. didnt know he had such terrible 'water' day... he always say its the usual stuff going on wiht his training.. i wonder.. if having a taste of the water is part of it too huh.. ..
sounds really disgusting. =/ yeah.. he woke up to msn me abit.. wonder if he put on alarm.. or me wakey him.. hm.. anyway... yeah.. swt huh.
so.. well.. just hope he'll be fine soon..

heading to uss tmr.. hm.... uss huh... o well... if only sam could join me.. ..anyway.. well.. i dunno.. maybe tired. .but.. feeling .. ok i guess.. about heading there. redz is the mosssst excited one to go. =.= haha

oh. had only abit of lunch today. abit dizzy now. chomping away a small pack of pockey like biscult now.. gonna slp soon.. gonna wakey very early..
had sushi today.. small portions.. -_- haiz.. didnt realised.. cos only focus on the priceXD
nah.. anyway, next time see how.. maybe try to bring rice? will be cold.. but yea.. better than nothing. ha

u know.. i always look back at the words of someone working near atz.. men are like block of wood when it comes to love. they are stupid. he's a guy himself. but he say its true. thats why u see most of the times girls are the one crying a river. he said alot more other stuffs.. ha. too long to type . anyway, me already mentioned it before in my blog.. but yeah. .thats kinda like.. last year already? uh huh..now no energy to type all out. one year ago already done so. ha.
hm./. yeah.. well. .i guess girls are alot more sensitive than guys.. so... that much of explains all why..
ha. .also dunno why im saying these.. o well..

hm.. today.. didnt have the working mood i guess.. but at night. .thigns got better. .so yup.. abit of fun. not bad.

well... though.. during closing time.. my name appeared on a mistake receipt.. longg story. type here, too long, and u guys sure wont get it. so yeah. .lets just say.. things should be fine.. erm.. but yeah.. like i said.. stupid girl.. i really dislike hypocrites. act all so friendly, and nice, and fun, then behind the mask, the heart is like that. gosh. .what an irritating human girl. argghhhhh
anyway.. sigh.. thast all folks. =/

tired day to get back.. haiz....... glad tmr off again.. =/

sigh. .what a night eh.. k.. need to slp already..

jaa, mata ashita.

Movies Resting Day

well.. its kinda of a nice resting day for me.. hm... it past pretty fast.. =/
but its nice. .cos sammy was with me.. well. .though we didnt chat like whole day or anything. .cos he also need to busy with his work and stuff.. yet.. well.. his presense is magical i guess.. ha.

was having my lunch while sammy is aslp.. tv was showing the movie freaky friday. then, cos of that movie, i thought of watching another movie elsewhere..
then i ended up watching 2 movies for the night. actually 3 to be excat for the day to be precise.
otherwise. .well.. i guess my day would've been pretty bored huh? haha.. oh.. today is sunday.. hm.. feels like sat though..
anyway, i was sitting the whole day. which is great. haha. feels good ya know.

well. .sammy is busy with his stuff.. so. .didnt get to watch with him.. if not, its gonna be great huh. well. .perhaps.. next time when he's really free i guess.. yeha.. cant wait to have another 'date' with him again..
well.. its just really nice to be able to do the same thing with him together u know...

hm.. i wonder if theres something im missing out on... O.o... dunno..

so.. well.. basically thats my day..
tuesday huh.. wonder if redz is serious about heading to uss... =/
hm... well.. im ok with it.. i just cant wait to take tonsssss of pics over there thats all.
i really hope my bro off on tues..

so.. well.. thast about it then i guess..

hm.. u know.. i kinda do like my hair getting curled up.. but its a hassle to wash up after u know.. spraying and stuff.. so. .ha.. never do it unless i feel like it, and have plenty of time in my hand.
bt.. hm.. i dont think i'll wanna make it permanent.. cos.. i still kinda like my hair be straight.. can get straight and messy too.. sexy eh. LOL. JKJK. XD

sam.. was saying pls to me.. like.. pls dont love anyone else but him.. i would've said the same thing to him too..
its really so swt.. i can tell i meant alot to him from the way he said that.. but.. just wondering why he said that.. and.. how come he;s asking me about my inbox..
he saw my fb inbox once.. yeah.. theres guys msg.. but i dont care. hm.. i should stop being a lazy bum and delete those useless msg thats stuck in my inbox huh.. =.= ha.. my lazy fingers.. XD

so.. as i was saying.. yeah... hm.. u think.. perhaps he's worried about me falling for someone in fb or something?.. or someone in fb will snatched me away from him?..
hm..=/ well.. i guess thats the thing about online facebook and stuff..
u see someone from the opposite sex msg u.. or posted something.. or u laugh with them.. ,then yeah.. its easily to get the wrong idea..
and.. i know.. its like.. sometimes couples found out that they have been cheated on through fb, or simply have a tiff over fb wall post by their opposite sex fren or something.. be it just a misunderstanding.. or a real flirt.
its.. something harmful if you;re not careful i must say...

hm... o well..
anyway, i love him. so yup.. its alrite..

oh.. ytd, whole day was raining, and it felt great. haha... reminded me of the time in sydney.. where its almost cold most of the time when u were out and theres no hot sun in sight..
yeah. .it was cooling. .like aircon everywhere.. outta the mrt as well.. so yeah.. very nice. even in the living room, i don have to on the fan. its a nice change. haha.
i hope more rain and cooling weather coming in.. =)

hm.. i.. still have alot to learn.. at work.. o well... hang on hang on... all for the sake of money... money money money....
and i can see sam soon..

he said he was looking through online jobs the other day...
well. .glad he's on the road once again.. i hope he can find it.. all the best to him..
then hopefully he can save enough.. then.. well.. lets just hope theres a day he can come to sg look for me huh...

gosh..=/ i really soo be by his side right now..
if only i have the money.. i would be soo sure to go visit him in july.. but now.. dunno whats happening yet..
ha.. if im sure, then by now, i would've been working extra hard.. cos theres something to look forward and hang on to..
well.. if not. .then.. i'll have to wait for... almost another year's time to see him.. which is.. kinda like. .ha.. very long to hang on huh..
well.. i try not to think for now..
whatever i can save, i save.. my mum also always remind me that.. ha..

well then.. one day to go... hang on... soo ocant wait to get over with tmr!!! woosh!!

mata ne!

Bad Day 2

ok.. sigh.. now i get how come im having a bad day. not super bad.. but yeah.. i dont like it =(

its like.. some ppl trying to say as though its my fault that things went missing. .
and.. i dunno.. like.. ..sigh.... i think i may 've just pushed myself to do well.. too well.. and.. its not that good a thing. =/
perhaps my fren is right.. if do too well, the seniors will get jealous or sumtin.. but.. i dont really care. just that.. u know.. having to work together almost everyday.. just.. i dunno.. =/
..sigh

tch.. trying to forget about this matter i guess.. sigh..
just wanna have anice off.. thas all=/ will try not to think too much.

tonight never get to speak with sammy much ba.. kinda like.. hungry but.. dont dare to leave my seat.. so waited for him kinda long.. and. .well.. i guess he's pretty much beat up too.. so. yeah.. just never get to talk alot..

haiz.. last night.. was too tired.. so.. i gotta offline before sammy reply me back.. didnt know he was in the toilet.. =( so yeah... i thought he was busy with sumtin else.. anyway... its weird in a way.. cos.. i felt soo bad.. so.. like. sad.. like.. i need to online back again.. but i couldnt.. my body is sooo freaking tired. .i couldnt move.. =/ so i ried calling him.. but he never pick up.. so yeah.. and finally he did.. so.. yeah.. after that then i can fall aslp.. theres just this uneasy feeling..(perhaps he's feeling sad.. =/) like.. yeah. .very uneasy.. =/ thats why me kept calling.. i think.. about 40mins later.. then i got through to him..

panyway.. yeah.. feel so bad..

and my bro. .he came back, saw me aslp already.. haiz...

its like. i wanna spend more time with them..

sigh.. i duno..

maybe i was too hungry.. perhasp.. alil more than irritated today.. however, after a supper and shower, i felt better.. o well..........

im so slpy now. .cant wait to type finish, and head for bed soonmy customers. theres this couple.. bf bought something from our shop for gf. tehn she say thank u.. and kisses him right in front of him. i hurried outta the counter, and to towards the card section i go. argh.. dang... why must she do that.. =/
sigh.. well.. they are a couple.. .. =/ ..o well

so.. yeah.. thats my day ba. nothing much. ha. i learnt it from sam.

hm.. haiz......... =/
tch. .its jus.. so.. sigh..
i dunno.. yeah.. i need to slp now.. so.. yeah.. forget these huh.. =/

me so wish to have him by my side now..

mata

Slp Or What -_-

haiz.... dunno how ne.. like. .wanna eat.. but... later cant slp =(
abit hungry though..

haiz.. should i slp anot.. or wait for bro to come home.. haiz.. abit boring ba.. =/ but.. gosh. .i dunno what to do! =/ slp early with empty stomach.. or.. other way round.. -_-
haiyo........

anywya, abit slpy ba.. =/ cant wait to wakey to a new day, then 6.30, me go home, and can enjoy already!!! finally. .sat night... waiting for my freedom... then relaz already.. cos tues off ^^ so yup.. another day of working only. muahahahahha.....

today, yay... i proved to myself. =) i did it!! without anyone giving me sales, i can still hit my own target high2 way up.
that should shut their mouths. HMPH..... XD
so yup.. its great. im proud of it, and will continue to strive for it.

ha. .that colleague of mine,.. XD he started to say hello, and welcome.. lol... maybe cos he see the way i do it, and get alot of sales ba.. anyway, don care... just gonna do my stuff... get my money. thats my point.

hmmm =/ think2.... to slp or not to slp... haiyoooo

k ba. either slp with sammy about same time. .or... erm.. eat.. hm.. i think will eat then slp.. unhealthy right. .haiyo.. what to do..
sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

tch.........

very bored.. =/

mata

sending him to school

yay... amazing.. finally my net is working fine again. was soo slow for the past couple of nights!
gosh... today, even now, its working fast =) yay...

i slept at 5am.. very slpy now.. hahaha.. dunno will slp early anot later.. me just eaten.. =/

awww... .was watching repeatedly at the video of me with sam.. like. .soooo sweet... =) so wish someone is beside us to video all the time.. wanna see how we look like. .must be so awww.... haha..

erm.. yah.. he suddenly wakey in the middle of the night. .then after an hour or so.. he went back to slp.. then me online.. watch tv.. bath.. thinking should be able to wait till sammy wakey again ba..
then yeah. .soon after me done with online and stuff, he wakey le. =)
then waited for him eat.. get ready.. me slpt for a tiny bit.. then he's back.. then we webcam for abit.... then yeah.. he's off to school. hehe. yeah.. like me 'send' him to school in a way huh =)

shooty... off day gonna be over after this slp. =/ off day is sooo fast!!!
cant wait to get to satnight!!

me soo slpy... =/ aftnoon also never slp very well..

haiyo............................. dun wan slp early ne.. =( haiz.........

ok.. tmr.. shall see my results.. hm.. ganbate ne...

mata
haiz.. 9am...

Settled ?

hm... ok.. so.. today.. its really tough to explain what happen.. in details that is. and im kinda like lazy to type it all out...
anyway its difficult to explain..

well.. lets just say... =/ it even took me a very long time to complain all of this to my bro.

start of the day.. like.. sigh.. how to say.. like ppl wanna take my hard earned sales..
bt glad it should be back to normal now. cos my manager put me in her team. so, once i have a team, yeah.. i don have to worry about ppl wanna take my sales in 'that' way.
what way? gosh.. =/ i really cant type it here.. longggggggggggg story and explanation needed.
so yup..

erm... well.. basically.. fri will be the official start to see hows my 'new' day ba.. something like that..

oh.. my manager tell me that im an ace student! im very good with the 'best fren' items.. she saw me go here and there to take mah. so yup.. what best fren items? gosh.. lazy to explain. sorry!
anyway, yup.. im glad finally somebody can see that im working hard.. T_T(besides my swtheart). so yeah.. its good.. fri.. gonna do all my best as well ba..

eh.. my hand got one more cut.. but not deep.. but.. dunno how i got all those. weird... paper cut?O.o
anyway, the one on my pinkie still hurts!! i think becos me never put plaster. .then yeah.. taking a long time to heal.. ha.. lazy to put ba.. o well..
anyway yeah.. pain sia the small cut. -_-

its 3am.. late already.. im slping in abit after i received sam's video.. ha.. really curious whats it about ne... =P ^^
or could it be him playing the canoe.. woooo.... haha.. imagine3... my talented man ^^

hm.. past 2 nights me never cry to slp.. so good ba.. maybe too tired and slpy..

hm.. oh.. then sammy was like.. suddenly awake.. in the middle of the night! T_T huu... so touched.. gosh.. he's so gonna be slpy later on at school... but yeah.. was surprised he online suddenly.. rally thought wasnt gonna be able to talk to him tonight..
so yeah. thanks to him.. awww....

hm...
what else... couldnt remember much.. slpy alreayd...

oh.. angmoh customers love to cheekily ask for numbers huh. the angmohs really brave u know.
but good thing they are such frenly customers. almost alwasy have a good time serving them. but the locals too. taiwan also.. ahh... in anycase, this job really have alot of job satisfaction for me. talking to the customers has been a pleasure.
though.. would so rather have a swt chat with my darling... T_T

huu.. wanna eat mac with him.. drink mocha with him... T_T huu...................................~~

hm.. so.. yeah... finally gonna off.. im so gonna rest.. and wait for sam. =)

erm.. i think i missed out something.. dunno.. slpy.. cant think...

k, video seems almost done.
blog tmr k!

mata

The Up And The Down

gosh.. the net is sooo slow lately... haiyo..

today.. another record broken.. keep on breaking it. =) yay.. this time, even with my manager around, i also top the top. =D i hit 2K. amazing.
like.. wow... i hit alot more sales than her. and i got 20 plus of customers more. but the point is not about thta. to be the top, its nice. but point is, i've improved. =) and it feels good. =) i never know i could do that. and.. like. .hm.. its a very good result.. so yup.. i like this.
its something i never expect i could do.
theres a down side for today though.. hm... =/

my colleague.. saw the customer im serving, buying alot of stuff.. then ask me to give that 'sales' to him. =( ... i really dont wish.. but since he mentioned that time he also help give me alot of sales.. then i.. sigh.. really dunno how to reject. .then.. yeah.. i gib him lor.. =( he bought over a hundred plus u know.. then my manager saw, say to my colleague job well done. i was standing beside him. then he tell her its teamwork.. well... =/ at least he said it that way... ..sigh..
but!!! i never ask him to give me any sales, nor help me out u know.... i never.. sigh.. my bro say.. if him, he also wouldnt dare to ask me that.. meaning saying my colleague very thick skinned. ha.. o well...
=/
so. yeah... i hope there wont be a next time =( sigh..
i just wanna get alot of sales.. and break more records.. thats all. so.. yeah.. huu.. my hundred plus worth of sales....
at first was sad.. but then, afterwards theres a couple more customers i served bought alot.. so.. yeah.. =/ me let the matter go..
but still... really dislike it.. =/ o well...

oh, my manager.. gosh.. i thought she was married! XD i even once asked her if she got any child.. oops.... my colleague tells me that sabrina(my manager's name) is engaged! XD haiyo... cos her ring wore on the married finger mah..
anyway. she told me that her partner(fiance) took a really long time to propose. Lol...XD i was like.. gosh.. the guy is so stupid or what. -_-(pardon me..)
she's really a very very nice woman!! what took him so long?! good thing sabrina still there for her partner. =) anyway yup.. heard that if it'd not been him for being so late, they would've gotten married last year already!
ha. .o well.. in anycase, happy for her. she's really a very hardworking nice lady =) very dedicated to her work. working hard and seriously. =)
i wanna be.. hm. .end up somewhat like her.. but.. she's too nice though.. never really scold ppl =/
well. .nonetheless, hope the new manager will be a very good person too....

hmm... surprisingly, only my leg tired... hm.. ok ba.. still slpy.. but.. weird. .not as tired as i'd expected myself to be.. hm... maybe i've gotten used to it huh?..
hm.. but still. .leg hurts.. very tired my leg..

last night. .after waiting for sam, we both slpt together. me sign out first thoughXD cos too tired! haha..
then redz ordered mc donald.. me soo wanna eat too u know.. then watch dvd. haiz.. but cannot slp late.. =/ so.. o well..
sad ne..

hm... oh.... then at one point, me talking to this customer, and intro alot of our stuffs... then.. me lost my voice!! O.O serious! like.. for about erm... around a minute there? not sure.. but yeah.. i was coughing.. then suddenly cannot talk at all =/ wow.. amazing huh...
good thing i recovered well, then can speak le.. and yup. ta-da! sales.. $$ ha..

oh. .think i forgot to mention this huh.. the liught in kitchen.. the kitchen light plastic cover, drop down!! as i walk past the table in my kitchen. yes.... =.= it drop right down.. luckily my head never bend in.. if i do, would've fainted or get a huge bump on my head now. gosh.. that was close!!
bang!!!! it came down. ouch... so loud..

hm.. ...i think.. that's about it huh..... well, thats the up and the down side of my day.. the good sales.. and the $100 plus sales gone..

mata ne!!

Going For The K!

ytd from morning wakey, then spend whole day with sammy.. so nice ne this kind of off day.. but then.. its over liao.. =/ haiz.. today, back to work, feels like no off day at all. XD like.. really.. omg.. like.. back to work straight away.. haha... o well.... what to do.. need money, need to sacrifice..

aw.. today got this customer.. an angmoh lady.. she had a cute daughter.. she was laughing while making payment at the counter.. then she tell me that her daughter so weird and funny.. just kissed her(the lady aka mum) knees. XD lol.. aww.. she say she just moved to singapore ytd. and somemore she's a very busy person.. her daughter didnt get to see her much. aww.. =( sad right.. haiz... anyway, yup.. very nice lady. glad sg have her. =)

gosh.. today ne, theres this customer i served.. angmoh. erm.. duno how old is he, but when he smile, theres deep wrinkles u can see frmo his eyes. nonetheless, lol. very charming. then after payment, said thank u, then his eyes smile and stuff.. like.. omg.. lol. XD before he could say anything else, i say thank u, and hurry outta the counter and tend to another customer. lol. very weird ne.. his eyes like.. magic =.=
BUT. hahaha.... sammy's eyes are even more magical =) only one to make me blushy like mad.. =3 nawwww..... i miss him looking at me long and hard.. love it =)
and me will always blushes lots.XD always. lol... XD! aww... i miss him.. he's doing his homework now.. so.. yeah... waiting for him to be done.. then.. uh huh.. talk abit.. and he's gonna off to ebd.. aw.... miss him..=/ wanna drop him a msg.. but.. like. .dont wanna disturb him.. haiyo... miss him!! muakzy him


today my sales is in the top. =) yay. i served 29 customers, while they only serve about 3 customers per person. amazing right. me never lie ne. i hit 1k today. =)only me.
but anyway, whatever it is, all i wanna do, is to do a good job.
it a promising company.. hm.. anyway, just do whatever i can for now ba.. future shall see how.

oh, last week, this uncle, walk into my shop, then passed me this erm.. foam forming ball from fancle. =.=''... dunno did he picked it up from the floor, or what.. thought it belongs to our shop or what.. but yeah.. he hand it to me, then walk away.. looking at stuff as usual. like nothing happen. O.o'' weird right....................
very weird.. but anyway, o well.. not a bad thing he gib me right. so yup.. ha

glad today me never go break alone. gosh...
i hate breaking alone!

hm... ok. .so.. like that ba.. im already looking forward to my next off.. o well.. =/

hm... tmr meeting soo early =( haiz.... anyway. after meeting, i heard theres even a test. -_-''..... dots..what the... this company... ha.. o well....

hm.. another tired day.. =/ o well...
hm.. tmr.. maybe the meeting be in peace... ha. =/

mata ne

Tired Still Tired =/

hmm... ok................ .... =/ o well... must say... hm.. did felt kinda disappointed... i mean... today.. was supposed to be watching a movie online with sammy.. but... =/ o well.. never did.. cos. .the movie been taken off... =/ we were too late.. o well... then.. hm...... =/ tch.. got me really frustrated.... like.. gosh.. its a sunday off for us!! yet..=/ ... but only good hting i saw is.. well. he study.. if not.. he also not time to had we watch a movie.. cos.. he was out for dinner.. ..so.. yeah..
but.. indeed.. it was quite disappointing for me.. but.. o well....... =/
..next sunday.. i think i off.. yeah.. shall see how then..
sigh.. me just.. u know.. trying to take it easy.. we cant do all the normal things together as a couple.. so.. yeah.. but i'll rather have a true love relationship rather than a convenient one..
so.. o well..... but after i took some time to think about it,.. ..u know.. at the end of the day.. im just glad he's over on the other side with me...
o well.. i supposed.. next sunday shall me our only free day to talk long like today.. spend time iwth each other.. after that.. i dont think there's gonna be another weekend off for long. .which means.. ... =/ sigh... wishing for a wed off... =/

o well...... so.. our movie date didnt quite turn out right.. =/ so.. o well... just have him by my side enough..

im so tired.... soooo tired... today. like.. no energy... =/ not say super slpy. more of.. just lack of rest and energy...

me slpt late again last night. haiz.. o well.......

.. i guess.. what can i say.. i already knew its gonna be a tough journey huh... theres alot of beliefs and trust to take on.. gotta hang on.. 21 months to go.. sort out everything..,within this time...

wow.. seems like.. theres this girl from this fan group.. is heading to aussie in july.. so nice huh...

well.. overall.. today.. very tiring day indeed... tmr back to work.. glad im in morning shift.. yet.. o well....... hang in there... another week to go.. sunday....
hm.. .. =/ i wonder hows the night gonna be like when i come home.. without anyone to talk with... =/ that gonna sux alot huh...

o well.. gdnight.. i guess... i might not be slping that early.. but.. i dunno.. perhaps i will.. im to sleepy.. =/

mata

Thankful And Loving For My Man =)

ok.. so many things to say.. but dunno if can remember anot.. will type fast. .sorry for more wrong spellings. ha. cos im so tired.
erm.. well.. u know.. so stupid.. sammy was asking me what else wanna tell him. i was so tired and slpy. then i say no. omg!! girl! what no!! should say yes, i love u!!! but i was too tired to think. .i thought he meant anything else about today , or today's work.. haiyooooo... but then when me ask him same question, he reply swt stuffs. so yup.. me like.. oh!! haiyo.. baka me.. then yeah.. reply him i miss him alot. sigh.. really alot.. u have no idea... =(
im so grateful and so happy he's home when im back.. he even stay up late u know.. after work.. im sooo tired.. cant wait to get home rest.. but at the same time feeling a little down.. cos no one to share with the results of my hardwork.. =( tell my bro, he also play game and keep quiet... =( sigh.. really without sammy.. i think life would be so pointless.. do anything.. also useles.. =(.... sigh..
anyway.. so yup.. he's happy for me.. and im glad to be able to tell him that.. seriously if he went to bed.. wont blame him of course.. but tonight i will feel so down. =/ perhaps its the first week ba.. i dunno.. but yeah.. anyway... thanks again to him.. i needed him so much.. love ya sam...

he was asking me about my colleagues name as well.. ha.. like police(as inm cartoon not serious i mean). but i think its good huh. see.. he knwos who im hanging out wiht.. who's myfrens.. blah3.. cos still a part of my life mah.. like everyday i tell him about my life.. i talk to my family about him.. my mum always ask about him.. so yeah.. its good.. he's a part o fmy life.. while im a part of his life. though.. ha. im pretty sure he never talks about me in front of his family.XD nah.. i understand.. his family.. yeah.. from the way i look at sam, and the way everything looks, i can tell.. well.. lets just say it simply.. whne i say understand, i really do. so yeah... as long as he really loves me dearly... nothing else matters..

erm.. what else.. oh.. my manager.. she started work at age 13. O.O....... i was so surprised u know.. she told me she worked for bnodyshop for 10years. so if now she's around 32,.... omg..... wow.. i give my hat off to her. hardworking lady. she is u know. i really admired that. very dedicated to her work.
but i don wanna be like that till so serious in future. cos my man will definitely come first. nothing else is more important than the man of my life. work, can always be 2nd.
so yup.. its like wow.. imagine.. she started out in bodyshop from age 22 or 23... cool.. yeah.. really.. aspiring.. =)
she;s married. but without any children. she say not sure if in the future thats gonna happen.. but yeah.. she's open to it.
hm..... i dunno.. nowadays ppl are having children at and older age.. .... =/ do u think... i would ever have any children? hm.. but at such age huh.. ha.. o well.. i duno..
anyway.. with or without.. all i want is to have my man with me loving me always.
i hope thats not a foolish thought.. just a simple wish of mine.. ..

wow.. sam aint heading out tmr. i dunno if im sounding evil.. =/ but im really happy he can stay back.. imagine.. only the most twice weekend we can spend together per month(either once or twice).. so.. for me its very precious.. but i know.. he need time with his frens too.. so.. well.. i was really hoping its not gonna fall on my weekend off.. but anyway.. he canceled it.. and.. ..i dunno what to say..i dont want him to force himself definitely... but yeah.. if he can finish his work.. then good also..
but.. well.. i just wanna say.. like.. so.. awww......... ... just wanna give him a tight hug now.. im just so glad..
anyway.. im hoping he can finish his work.. and have enuff rest throughout.. was thinking of movie date with him.. but.. he must be really slpy by tmr. plus work somemore.. =/ i dunno.. at least.. i think this time i should be prepared if theres no movie.. be prepared now better than last min.. wait yeah.. ..
anyway.. just want him to have gd health..im so touched.. its a surprise i must say.. a good one.. when im feeling tired and abit down.. he cheer me up with this news.. he noes me work hard.. and for htat, tmr he not going out,. jsut to be with me. then ask me got energy now? omg. .of course i do!! like.. what a magic surprise. like.. as htough he just rewarded me with himself.. but still.. =/ i wonder if he really wanna go.. then never go cos of me and work.. ..haiz.. dun wan him do that cos of me ne.. but.. ..=/ o well.. i dunno....

hungry.. me had only 2 slices of breads.. T_T save money mah..
oh. but then, ok.. long story. lets just say i won a lil something. reward. its a frenly competition. about sales. so yup.. me won. =D its like. .hahaha... as htough i got the top for my examsXD but yeah.. i worked really hard to hit it. and i go tit. its like.. wow.. number one.. i got the chocolate bar as reward!!
hm... yeah.. perhaps that explains ba.. stand and walk3... talk3... of course tired like mad. gosh cant wait to slp.
oh, and sammy's right. =) im hoping to wakey early tmr. so can spend more time with him. dun care if not enough slping time for me.. i really hope to wakey when he wakey.. he say.. by aftnoon he'll wakey.. hm.. but me not sure what time.. it could sometimes be as late as near 4pm.. or 3. or it could just be 1pm.. cos his dad really like everyone to wkaey by lastest 12pm.
so yup.. i relaly hope he can slp more.. muakzy him...*
so yup.. me will see ba.. anyway wont slp too late,. still wakey in mrg. ha..

webcam with sammy this aftnoon is good =) hahah.. he's so cute.. and cheeky =P love that. XD one moment, he's doing some reading abit. .cos thought i was still doing my make up.. then when im changing my pants, he look up, then quickly come near to camera. XD! lol.. so cute!!! i love him to bits!!! his eyes like totally bleams up.

hmm......... ... duno why.. suddenly though tof our memories again.. we will.. go down staris.. his house block.. buy food up and eat.. or no.. best part.. late night.. 11plus. .1am plus.. head down to eat the very3 nice fishball noodles... sigh.. shoot. .gonna cry.. T_T then.. alot of chili.. *sniff... then.. walk hand in hand.. he's talking about how nice if i could work partime there.. study there... T_T then we walk in the night.. after eat.. grab a drink.. from 7-11 or bubble tea.. ...*watery eyes....
then.. we walk.. hands in hands.. tight2.. walk all the way back in the quiet night.. talking.. just.. holding him tight.. *tears rolling down cheeks..
=/ gosh.. i wonder when can we have those peaceful moments again.. just the 2 of us.. its such a torture that i cant do this with him anymore.. i always keep him in my heart wherever i go... sometiems still heartpain..and sour.. but.. yeah.. the love is there.. and as long as he love me deeply.. yeah.. i can survive i guess..

ha.. i tink i kno why le.. cos i miss him so much.. plus its night time.. plus im hungry!!! craving for that stall's fishball noodle...
....i... wont ever step in there ever again... i scared i cry while eat sia.. i'll definitely invite swty dear to go eat with me again.. at night.. ha. imagine.. wait i cry all he more.. =.= haha....cos liek dream come true mah..

my manager asked me how was it. my first week is over! i say ok.. now feel more confident and comfortable. she say to me. very well done! me done a great job.
the sales.. at one point, me even caught up to her.. i was in the first place. hahah... wow...
so yup.. and i was serving this customer, they bought alot cos i recommend them. she saw, and say to me.. 'well done!!' i done a great job. i was like. .aww... me done great job... gosh... my hardwork pays off huh..
hm.. me still thinking ne.. XD how to work smart.. not workhard..when she's around!! hahaha..

wow. .i didnt know.. customers there so many will ask for emails.. and phone numbers?? geesz.... its hot ion were talking about ne.. =.= so daring huh. yeah.. speaking of that guy from croatia =.= usually i think should be foreigners who'll ask for contacts. o well.. sianz ne. but anyway, i still like to serve angmohs. can be extra frenly with them. haha. cos they frenly mah. me ar.. gosh.. have to smile all day sia.. =.= what to do.. part of my job mah..

oh.. so. .that aftnoon webcam with my swty..., he really3 gives me energy boost. confidence boost. i was feeling abit.. like. .not sure how today.. cos ytd my sales was great.. then worried.. today could it be bad? but he eliminated my worries.. and me go work with a happy heart. ready to rock.

gosh. im so slpy.. cant do naythign els.e. i gtg slp!!
oh. .tmr still ogtta write my schedule.. duno when my off.. cant wait..

mata ne

Well Done! =)

i almost fell aslp.. it was so comfy.... with swty's voice there... so soothing.. hearing him say i love u9.... aw.. then yeah.. lying on my bed.. me so tired.. so slpy.. so wishing he was here... talking to him.. with his voice.. almost send me straight to lalaland....
i asked him.. what's the most important thing in his life.. who's the number one.. o well... i guess.. i... i duno.. ha. .i just asked him that..
i also tell him.. i hate that he's in sydney =( i use the word hate. if i use that word, menaing i really hate it. but glad he didnt say anything. cos.. i also didnt know why.. like. suddenly i felt like i just gotta type that line out to him. =/ ... o well...

gosh.. my leg... tireddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!! today im so proud of myself. i was so close to my manager's sales. i was below her!! meaning i came in 2nd. =D hahaha.. before she left, she said to me well done. so yeah.. wow.. i really work hard today. serve hard too. i dunno... i.. dont like to be like them.. stand around and chat.. i chat when they chat with me. .but.. most of the time my heart is on the customers. ha..
so yup.. today's hardwork pays off. im glad to have this result. really hope tmr will get even better. hm.. tmr.. sianz.. me bring bread go eat ba.. =/ haiz.......... how sia.... =( but cannot do that everyday ne... wait not healthy.. but.. i cant think of other saving food money method.. o well....

oh.. today. shocking. =.= a angmoh came in.. i was bending down doing some stuff.. he say hi to me as he walked past me. i look up, say hi back. then stand up prepare to serve him. he start first by asking me how am i. so i ask back. then blah3... i treated it as a non business convo.. then when i learned he travels alot, i intro him our travel product. then... he ignore sia. -_-. never even listen. just keep on talking about where i stay.. where he stay.. wanna catch up for coffee.. but how.. oh.. phone number?-_-
.... dots... me keep talking about products, he like never listen. waste my breath.
...well.. years ago.. when i was still..naive, and without my swty.. perhaps i might've said yes already. angmoh..handsome.. thats what everyone thinks.
but to me, im not interested one bit. and im glad. that it really shows to me how much i love sammy.. and how my whole heart belongs to him. completely =) so yup.. me really glad.
and so yeah... im not interested.. if fren, ok. but i can tell he's thinking something else.. then forget it. -_- guys... argh. but i really hope this wont happen again.
gosh.. what if i see him again.... haiyoooooooo. dun wan sia....

sometimes.. i really hope to be really engaged to him.. a girl i met in sydney, also sam's fren, she's engaged to her bf already. but its a serious one. cos they even tok pics in their gowns. =) nice. swt. the guy is very clever. ha. XD engaged, then tied her down liao. lol. she cant escape. XD
sometimes.. gotta admit.. envy of her.. o well... different girls.. different life...

hm... so.. yeah.. only worry for tmr is me no do good as today. so.. wish me luck! ganbate ne..

..hm.. sun.. sam will be coming home early.. then.. how to reject my fren ar... =/ hm........ then.. aftnoon me should do what =/ ...
haiz.. i really dunno ne..
tmr then think ba. gosh im sooo slpy already....

this job.. got alot more satisfaction. uh huh..

mata

Turn Of Events

oh. me never mention huh.. first day at work.., me reached home.. after 2 hours, knockout already.. yes.. im that tired.. 2nd night.. hm.. better ba.. glad next day my off.. somemore talked to sammy.. so yeah..

tmr start again..

my 2nd half of the day didnt go too well...

anyway.. im tired today.. so tired..

i admit... there's some disappointments there.. cos yea.. i.... =/ .... o well...

there's always times when.. ...say.. u know the answer. yet.. somehow.. something might've happen.. and u start to question it. u start questioning it.. then....... somehow u.. Doubted the truth. the real answer all along. u Doubted it.
then..... along with everything,..., u became kinda confused. cos.. u know whats real.. but at the same time.. the things which happened, makes it all seem so..unreal..
so.. u try to find the answer. could the truth be replaced already?
the more u try to find it.. the more it seems it might've never change at all... but.... there's no one to tell u so. u are afraid to find out anyway.
so... somehow.. things have been made worse.. but.. u still see the original truth out there... u try to tell urself stop looking at the doubts. but... yeah....... isnt it difficult...not?

oh.. so.. ha.. i shouldn've kept my hopes high.. this is foolish.
=/ sunday i off.. but.. ...i'll be spending it with my frens instead. he... got his own plans already... so yeah.. o well.. guess its not fated to be spending his newly 21st b'day with him. that day, my palm got this blood stain. guess what. very surprisingly, its a love shape. i have a pic of it. will upload perhaps.. next week or so.. its really like. wow. hahah

sigh.. heartpain.. spent 20bucks on a pair of shoes. for work purpose. it cut through my heels and so on.. then found another pair of 20 bucks shoes. at 20 bucks. sish.. dont ever shop at ion for anything less. =.=

anyway.. oh. i thought abou tit. i wanna be like how desperate housewives look like when im in my 40s. and so on. thats how i will look. ;) ha..

..haiz............
=/

i wonder.. if i should start shifting my focus from now on.. =/

yay.. its not so hot anymore. more wind nowadays..

.....

do u think............ ... im holding on too..... ...too... tight? or.. too.. dear?

im.. so afraid of getting hurt... ...sigh......
=(

im afraid to ask.. but.. i really wanna know.. who's number one... in..
....................

mata

Happy birthdya salim

gosh.. it's sam's birthday..... huuu...... i really still feel sooo bad.. i wanna stay by his side.... =(.......... i really do.... but.. i .. no money to do that... so... i thought of this plan... skype with him at his 12 am there.. and sing him birthday song.. thats the least i could do.... ... send him his pressy.. yay.. really glad it arrived on time =D though he might not have much time to read it.. but.. yeah.. o well... he could at least place it near his bed i guess...
anyway.. we ended up skping at about.. 9plus abit... still.. yeha.. i thought i was gonna cry when i sang him the birthday song! i did.. hahaha............. just cry lor. .cos yeah.. trying to keep my tears back.. cos yeah.. i couldnt touch his face..and sing it to him... =/

u know... ,last night i cried again.. remembering.. those times when he picked me up.. me so looking forward to seeing him... i look outside.. heres only mrt where alot of ppl coming in and out.. but. .no sight of him..
tough day.. he'll appeared at night to pick me up.. i'll tell him about it.. he'll stay over at my place... i'll talk to him... ....
u know why i cry so hard.. how come i feel so sad always.. because....

at the end of the day, all i want, is just to have him in my arms.

that is all i wish for..

u know.. i understand how he feels... boring birthday and stuff... i asked him about it before.. i talked to him about it before... so yeah.. i really know how he's feeling...
me.. perhaps a lil different at that ba...
even if me have a big party going on, with frens around,.... i would be laughing.. smiling.. but.. i wont be happy.
cos.. whats the point.. i have my family with me.. i have a big party going on... but... my swtheart... isnt by my side in person..
..so no.. i wouldnt be happy... on my 21st.. i remembered.. my family including redz are with me.. celebrate.. eat cake.. and.. well.. just very family gathering like.. but.... sam in camp. he couldnt get away.
still... its really nothing special.. i just need him.......

on my 22nd, ...he's leaving.. he said to me.. its the 2nd year already he spend it with me.. with tears in his eyes i could tell... why?? becos... ...='( yeah.. he's leaving.. and.. we couldnt spend the birthday together anymore in person like a normal couple would.
i'll never.. never forget the his expressions.. and the way he look at me when he said those words...

my working place.. shop cold.. i've always wanted to recall back how cold it gets in sydney when i was there.. then funny enough, my shop degrees ne.. is 23. =.= lol. what to expect. its an australia company anyway. ha. so yup.. cold.. but o well. good thing ba.. next time me see sam in sydney again, me wont get so cold. XD used to it liao. lol

outside ion shopping mall, theres always a man right outside the mrt station ready to help ppl out. say.. how to find one's way...etc. wow.. very pro ne... O.o.......... having a man outside doing such things.. wearing a suit somemore.. =.=

theres this staff. my 1 st day working with her. she acted all soooo nice and super friendly and cheerful. my sixth sense is telling me she's not that simple. she is pretending. and wow........ shocking. lol. i was right!!!!!!!!

my fren told me that she backstab everybody in shop. everyone. gosh. one time, she even tried to find fault with my fren. ask my fren who places that notepad in that place. my fren say its our manager sabrina. she kept quiet. then asked who places the stands there.. my fren say its her. then, she scold my fren in front of customers! using the 'F' word!!!! omg. ... after that, my fren say she never talk to her anymore. as in friendly type.

this shrewd person, also the same person who wanted to change schedule with me. and take credits for herself at my own expense. long story.. but its not commsion money regarding matter. . , but might be smiliar.. based on ur performance kind of thing.
anyway... i could tell she's acting sooo frenly towards ppl. gosh.. she's soo... o well.. i really do not wish to work with her -_-

hm.. so.. i skype with sam.. planning already to sing him a birthday song, and be hte first to call him up wish him a happy birthday.
he smiled soooo much . so many times. gosh.. im so happy cos of him. he smile so much. and im glad he did. im glad to make his day better... hm.. yeah.. i did cried when i sang to him birthday song.. lol.. o well.. but yeah.. this is the least i could do for him.. so glad hte pressy reaches him at the right time.
i want him to be happy all the time. especcially when he thought of me..

my voice.. almost gone.. keep saing welcome.. hello.. hi.. aiyo.. gonna rest ba.. im soo sleepy now

guys should really express themselves more huh. ..

sam.. told me whats bothering him after i asked him.. like yeah.. anything bothering him anot..
thoguht he might asnwerd again ike.. dunno.. nothing.. or don wanna talk about it.. but he did. and im so glad he did.
=D its like getting closer to the next level. =) not a long explanation.. but i get the whole idea..
so yup.. glad so he did.. =) im happy to share with him..

like he said.. about me msging him.. about brighten up his life.. if he never let it out, i would've thoguht im bothering him during his school time.

cos yeah.. speaking o fhtat.. gosh... i always thoguht i should msg him only when he goes for break. but turns out that.. i could msg him anytime =.= ha..

ps. im too slpy. lazy to correct any spellings wrong. zzzzzzzzzz

so yup... tmr so gonna msg him .yay.. glad he's alrite with it =)

ha.. ^^ still remember his smile.. so sweet.. soooo.. haha.. wanna grabbie him and kissy like thatXD lol

o well... really cant wait to see him again in person..... one day.. im sooo gonna let him have the best birthday ever!!! no need for big parties.. noisy ones.. just me and him.. in our world.. i wan him have the best..on his 20th birthday.. lol.. already tell my parents to give a surprise birthday at my house.. then .. ha.. o well.. gotta cancelled it off. cos its late, and theres another it show day he need to go. buy lappy. so.. yeah.. really sorry about htat.. cos told my family already=/ but its alrite.. then.. planned a ice cream cake too.. but too expensive.. somemore.. he didnt appear to want it very much.. ask him, he abit like. .shun it off ba.. anyway,yup.. surprised didnt go so well ne. XD ha..
his very first birthda me spendd with him, me never really plan anything. cos he gota go back at 5pm. somemore he's my first bf.. so i didnt know what am i supposed to do in a relationship! XD! lol.... so yup.. never really plann.. but we went for mc breakfasdt.. then movie.. its so simple, yet sooo precious memories we had.. as long as 2 ppl is together, nothing else matters.
but yeah.. im glad to be by his side on his 2 previous birthdays. nothign very big. but. im by his side.

i;'ll always be in his heart... i will be... in person we cant really feel.. but through hearts and souls we can...
remember i said it last night? i felt him in my heart.. even now too.. but. .the mroe focus i feel him, the more like.. wanna cry.. still....... its him with me.... so yup..

i miss him...............

hm.. k.. me super slpy le... gosh.. cant stadn it.. gdnight..
me mind cant think no more... zzzzzzzzzzzz

mata

First Day AT Work

soooo tired.. my feet are kissing me.... o well......... its so nice to finally sat down... gosh...

tonight so suey.. kena fullshift on my first day of work -_-''''''................. haiz.. no fullshift, also can kena. anyway, yeah.. so tired.. erm.. work hm.. ok ba.. fine... i feel comfortable serving teh customers there.. erm... for my first day at work, im very satisfied with my results and hardwork. the manager not around, they really slack ne.. but i don wan.. i wanna seized this day..(my manager fell sick.. mc..) without her around, and do my own... hm.. as in.. familiarize myself with the place and stuffs... in my own pace.. without the manager 'pushing' me on by my side.

sammy asked me to work smart. not work hard. haha... but somehow.. today i pushed myself eh... i dunno.. i just wanna make myself get used to the environment.. push myself to have a convo with customers... o well.... just a tough day. but.. ok ba.. =/
hm.. breaktime.. sigh.. don talk about it =( sianz.. so boring eat alone... haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... and so expensive... =( anyway.. just very argh..... to go break alone. =/

hm.. still couldnt figure out whats wrong with msn... =/ redz say sometimes it can be really slack wan... then my fren say she also go tthe same prob with her fren..
so.. whats the prob?? isit becos i always put in away mode? haiz... irritating prob dude... msn... always.. haiz..forget it.

oh.. today finally learned the truth. argh. so maddening. don wanna mention here. sianz...

hm.. okok ba.. today.. just that.. miss sammy alot.. then.. in bus.. thought of sammy fetching me home after a long long tiring day.. ='( ..thinking of here, alreayd making me cry =(
i know.. i search for him in my heart.. i found him.. and i felt him... then my heart.... like.. so pain... then wanna cry liao... be it walking while having break.. in bus.. in shop.. becos its kinda like.. felt him.. but.. ..u know....
..=...( ha. . see .. cry so much liao.. glad that didnt happen in shop. was busy enough.
hm.. till about almost 9pm.. then energy running low... then...... time slows down.. ha.. o well....

happy to see sam still online. .think he'd fallen aslp.. aw.... must be so tired...
..his birthday is coming.. .and all i can do the most, and a very must, is to say a happy birthday to him in person. i mean.. not fly there in person.. cos.. yeah.. =( so sad huh.. me so wish to spend it with him... =( but phew.. good thing his birthday me off. but.. well... ppl are gonna celebrate for him.. so... yeah.... ...=/ o well.. shall see how ba.. anyway.. its a good thing i off on his b'day. yay.

hm... k. .i gtg.. freshen up.. and get ready for the 'test' tmr. argh.............. =.=
all the best ne........

mata.

Beauty From Within

hmm.. weird.. dont get it.. O.o i actually didnt feel that nervous at all today!! deng3!*... thats soo weird... i expected myself to be so nervous.. hmm... -_- why huh i wonder.. it somehow gotten itself replaced by an urge to serve customers.. to interact.. to talk.. perhaps... i cant wait to be open up again huh.. hm.. anyway... well.. glad im not wrecking out my nerves today. phew. tmr.. all the best!!

also ne.. i feel like i wanna do something new. about that japanese lessons matter... =/ hmm.... i really wanna find time to enrol it.. but............. eto..... the timing must be right.. but not now ba.. since i still need to save money.. blah3... must work and see how first... if its stable enough.. then good.. but then.. if go.. then gotta make sure it wont bump into the date im suppose to meet sammy.. if crashed together, then yeah.. wont get a cert ne.
see how ba.... but.. just kinda wish i could do it this year instead of next. o well..

and my phone plan.. remember i was talking about how i wanted to buy a phone first thing after i got my pay? now changed of plan. see how first ba..after july at least.. then... yeah.. hopefully my phone wont gib me prob till then.
hm..... yeah.. shall see then... save it for now ba..

the actress meryl streep, i dunno.. but i find her got this aura around her.. sexy.. confident.. comfortable.. i mean.. wow. she's like over her 50s or 60s already.. but.. yeah.. she looks great even with those wrinkles so deep on her face. but hehn again,, might've been the make up and gowns..
anyway, saw her on tv today. yeah.. i really wish to look like that when im at that age.. still glowing.. sexy.. confident.. =) its awesome. its just her charisma.. her charms.. her aura.. thats really amazing. she's not slim.. or like.. under go surgery, do botox.. blah3.. .like demi moore.. i mean, she's not fat, nor slim at all. she's like.. erm.. chubby. 50% away from calling her fat. yup.. meaning.. craves? lol.. i dunno.. but all im saying is, its not her looks, her gowns, nopr her figure which makes her so beautiful at her age. but yeah.. her aura there... i think its great. thats what im talking about. u look sexy and beautiful from within. not from the help of clothes...blah3...
yeah.. i think thats a precious part.. its not all about the outside.. its the inside that counts.and from the within, its lasting.. and unique. not everyone can have it. so yup.. i really think she is one of the kind of woman i think everyone would love to be.
ha... at such age huh.. well, im definitely not gonna be a 'old fashion' one. i will look good, feel good. sexy, i dunno.. but im gonna be a healthy, glowing from within type of old lady. XD =P lol.

redz showed me this talkshow. .by a comedian.. and he was talking about erm.. sex suddenly =.=
not like what u think! but..o well.. anyway, he was telling everyone to have sex later on at night. then, blah3.. ask everyone to have more.. then say must have more.. a guy like him need 3 times a week. then ppl started laughing.. he say he's serious.. then im thinking.. eh..
3 times lot????? O.o for me, i've always thought.. for me ar.. like say.. after marriage with husband, *blushesXD its normal to do it everynight.. eh.. or i mean.. at least 5 times a week.
oh.. didnt know 3 times is consider alot ne. O.o
lol. nvm ba. up to my future husband to decide when he wants it. lol ^^ so shy liao. bleahx.

k.. anyway.. all the best to me tmr. hm... yeah.
hope i'll do very well...

mata ne!

Body Fatigue

..gosh.. very3 tired.. whole body.... been slping late ba.. last night at 4am then slp.. gosh... so sleepy and so tired.. body cant stand it le ba.. haiz...

ah.. sunday already.. over in less than 3 hours... ...o well....... tmr my last day of freedom. ha... ..so fast ne.... after that.. gotta work 5 days straight =/ o well.... hang on ba.. right..... .. just hate the 5 days straight.. ha.. o well... like 5 full ba.. yeah.. just treat it that way.. hang on ba... o well

redz decided to cook one dish today. he asked his mum for the recipe.. so yup.. turns out good. its not bad ya. and me learned a new dish from him in that way. cant wait to cook it. hope will be good. ha.. =)

hm... sigh.. duno what time will be slping tonight.. really wish to slp now.. but yeah... bro haven come back.. me scared next day wakey, monday already.. =/

its nice.. i like to talk about sammy with my family.. like.. well.. they're concern about him too.. then like.. yeah.. feels closer to talk about him frequently too..like hoe's he doing.. like that... its all good. =)

last night.. hm.. dont think i cry ba.. maybe too tired already.. ha..
hope tonight wont ba..

miss him lots ne...... ... hmm............ sigh

mata ne

Growing Love =)

i dun care about how a person look as long as he treats me right and with all his heart.
my swty.. ha.. me lucky ba.. he got everything nice. =3 never thought i would get a guy like him but yeah... whats most important is my man must love me wholeheartedly. =)
..speaking of which... im so afraid of losing him.. u know.. how a couple can get so close already.. one could still sense the fear.. cos u love him so much... even after marriage.. fear huh... its scary... it can stresses u out.. =/
there's all beliefs and trust at the bottom line. so.. yeah...... ..o well..

tonight.. my frens came to my house and had a dinenr, and just chilling out.. its good.. everyone just u know. .watch dvd movie.. laugh..chit chat and stuff. very simple. cos after tonight, ppl heading back to work already.. that sux.. so yeah.. im really 2 glad i do not have to get up for work tmr. phew...... so glad........
another passed.... o well......... .... =/

i miss sammy so much..... soooo much.......... .... i love him.... .... so wish could dance with him again.. like.. those romantic ballroom dancing.. ha.. yeah.. he always swings me around when we're waiting for lift..and im sending him back... puts a smile on my face whenever i thought of it.. but. .at the same time.. heart tightens.. cos..... ...thats my memories now.. i .. couldnt do it unless he's here..... =/

ne...... i wanna hold on tight to him in my heart forever.. always do... yet.. still the fear of whether one day will i lose my precious one.... natural fear eh.. even though i know he love me the way i love him..

my fren.. haiz.. dunno what to say ne.. romantic.. or what... the girl.. not even his gf.. not even liking him.. he can actually go and buy a ring, and craved her name onto his ring. -_- i thought.. ..haiz.. i dunno.. foolish or...?.. thought thats only for real couples mah..

i still wishes for sammy to be here tonight..and always.............

i.. i've never thought that.. even though we're apart.., yet.. my love for him is still growing still.. tremendously.. .. thats a good thing of course.. just that.. sometimes.. wondering.. the more it grows.. the more.. i cant lose him... the more... im afraid.. of the possibility of getting hurt..... ....
but yeah.. just gotta keep on going.. and loving.. and trusting. .thats important eh...
... so.. yeah... o well...... keep the love flowing in.. haha....
yeah.. bleahx.. my love grows everyday. and yup.. it's proven true ^^ good. hehe.
but yea.. deeper love for him.. makes me more........ ... o well...
i trust his love for me.. so.. yeah.. will hang on ba...

me so wish to hug him so tight now.. so wanna look at him and hug him tighter than ever.... ......even for a short moment... i wanna tell him i love him.. and he's my life..

k ba.. better stop now before tears flow out....

i guess all ppl in love.. just. .oh well.. wanna be loved back sincerely too.. be appreciated.. cherished..thats the most basic huh i guess..

mata......

-and for once in my lifetime, i have someone in my life(who needs me)-

Words Gone Wrong?

...i was very very nervous today... ha.. end up... the so called training, is some talks.. and learn how to do cashiering.. so yeah.. me get to try it out too with real customers who's paying. nice.
halfway through the cashiering, me no feel well.. =/ dunno isit becos me slept at 3am straight anot..
yeah.. slept late again.. ..

i meet bro for lunch.. then.. went back home.. sammy say will be coming back early.. so yeah.. never go anywhere ba. .just head back.. rest abit.. and wait..

was really looking forward to share the day with him... cos.. yeah.. its a important day.. he's not here in person.. so.. really wish to share it..

his day.. dunno.. ..ha.. he never say anything much. just a 'just ask ard, thats all'. so yeah..
then over the phone.. say his fren force him drink. yea i understand that type of situation... thats why sometimes dislike that type of place.. anyway.. me already guessed it from his fb his fren commented. i didnt ask.. cos i was kinda afraid to know.. ha. me baka ne.. isnt it? o well. im good at guessing huh. ....ha

so... we were talking about my contract..then annual leaves.. then he talk alot.. very sweet.. then suddenly talk about july... then........ suddenly i was happy.. cos thinking might really can go see him ne.. then.... he changed his mind. ...but i understand... ...im poor wat.. so ya... perhaps its not a good plan to go.. so yeah........ this year confirm i wont be seeing him. my leaves... i wont be spending with him.
....yeah.. will upset mah..of course.. like.. happy..then drop to nothing.. ha.. ..
then......... he became worried like.. i sounded not good.. but.. yes.. even though sad.. its a fact i gotta accept.. well.. what to do.. cant go mah.. so.. yeah... try to forget it ba.. talk about something else...... then..........................
his tone changed.

i think. .perhaps.. he's thinking.. im not ok.. then.. i dunno.. he think im angry??? i dunno what his guesses are.. but im not angry one bit. not even for abit. none at all. i was just upset that.. its natural u know.. u have hopes.. then u come to realized u have to put them on hold for now... so yeah.. i dunno how to explain.. how to convince him.. but. .all i can say its.. its ok.. tehn he sighs..
then i ask him his day.. he gib me 5 words.. then... no more loving talks already.. 'cept the gdnight part if u wanna count it in.

i was thinking to myself.... have i ruin the chatting part becos i couldnt stop myself from getting abit upset??
i cry..and cry...and cry.... wishing to turn back time... stop right at his loving words.
i continuse crying.. as though feel like dying... i still cry even now...
gomen ne... this is one thing i will never learn.. i do not know how to stop my tears from flowing. i seriously tried and tried. but i always failed. perhasp.. this is the way i express my feelings.. sad, just cry.. angry, just kick.. happy. .just smile like an innocent child.. very very happy. just laugh it out loud...like.. yeah.......

the person i wish most for to spend my day.. listen about my day.. its all for him...
i just want him here....
he's so important to me.. thats why its great for him to care so much.. stick to me so much.. advice so much.. even scold me... its ok... cos all i want is him.
i wanna walk down the road for the rest of my life with him.
so... yeah.. alot more to go through.. through thick and thins.. will hang on..
all the more with him by my side.. hand in hand......

..if only.. i could tell him with my voice that im alrite.... then.. then... perhaps.. i wont upset him like that le ba.. ...
oh.. i upset him huh... come to think of it... .. yeah.... i.. should've record my voice to say 'im ok really..dont worry...' but.. ha.. baka ne.. i never thought of that... ..... too late already.. =(

..anyway.. tmr.. yeah. .he got polo.. will be fun for him... he'll sure smile.. and.. ..then i'll picture it in my head ba.. uh huh...

i.. wasnt feeling too great.. but.. its always so magical.. after chatting with him.. i forgot about feeling unwell... then realizes im feeling much2 better already.. love...=him.. my best med in this world..

i want him stick to me like a sticky bee..eh..or tape.. i want him his care and love.. all of them... all stick with me... isit too much to ask? but.. its great.. cos.. he gave them all to me.. lucky ne.. watashi.. ....

mata............

-u know how u're willing to do anything for the most important person in your lfie....-

Training Starts

=/..... nervous again....... hm... o well..... ok... 2 hours... just hang on... do my best... hm.. training huh.. this whole place is kinda like an all new experience to me. so yup.. that explains all the nervousness.. gosh. just wanna do a good job.
after the 2 hours tmr, im sooo gonna make use of every second i have left in my freedom,and put it to good use. im soooooooooooo gonna enjoy and treasure the time i left!!!! yes!!! im so gonna relax, chill right down after the 2 hours. bring it on!
so yup.. get it over with!!! ....tmr all the best ne. .hope i can fully remember what they teach.. o well... everything new there.. so.. yup.. its not gonna be the same with atz.. so.. we shall see then!
i hope i'll like this job alot.. whats most important.. is doing what u like..

i was looking for a birthday card.. then i went into this gift shop... its like so auto.. as though my hand auto moved by itself.. i reaches out to this card, pick it up, and its love at first sight. i really like that card =) alot.
its like.. wow.. i set my eyes on that card and just pick it up.. its like. as though the card is calling out to me. LOL. XD but yeah.. thats how i'll describe it.
and i thought its gonna take me some time to find a good card.. ha.. who knows huh. =) the perfect card 'leads' me to it. =)

=/hmm... im feeling =/ now.

i so wish right after work can meet sammy up like i used to.. and no matter how tough the day is, theres always him to look forward to.. makes my days so much happier and easier to get by.
now..... no one to pick me up after work le... hm... o well...

still crying at night..
oh.. was thinking of how sammy is always there after i finish work.. or buy breakfast..eat with me.. or eat with me after work.......
i miss him............ T_T huuu...... i miss him.............
..he's my main and most support throughout my life... at least.. right after work..used to talk to him about what happen when he pick me up..
heart always..feel kinda very sad whenever i thoguht of the happy days when he's here.. cant help but cry...

i'll have him in my heart tmr as usual..
then.. will ganbate....
then....... hm........... will msg him right after im done..
...tmr.. ... yup.. all i want is to memorise everything they say.
training, here i come!

gdluck and all the best to me tmr!!!

=/

mata ashita ne..