gosh.. it's sam's birthday..... huuu...... i really still feel sooo bad.. i wanna stay by his side.... =(.......... i really do.... but.. i .. no money to do that... so... i thought of this plan... skype with him at his 12 am there.. and sing him birthday song.. thats the least i could do.... ... send him his pressy.. yay.. really glad it arrived on time =D though he might not have much time to read it.. but.. yeah.. o well... he could at least place it near his bed i guess...
anyway.. we ended up skping at about.. 9plus abit... still.. yeha.. i thought i was gonna cry when i sang him the birthday song! i did.. hahaha............. just cry lor. .cos yeah.. trying to keep my tears back.. cos yeah.. i couldnt touch his face..and sing it to him... =/
u know... ,last night i cried again.. remembering.. those times when he picked me up.. me so looking forward to seeing him... i look outside.. heres only mrt where alot of ppl coming in and out.. but. .no sight of him..
tough day.. he'll appeared at night to pick me up.. i'll tell him about it.. he'll stay over at my place... i'll talk to him... ....
u know why i cry so hard.. how come i feel so sad always.. because....
at the end of the day, all i want, is just to have him in my arms.
that is all i wish for..
u know.. i understand how he feels... boring birthday and stuff... i asked him about it before.. i talked to him about it before... so yeah.. i really know how he's feeling...
me.. perhaps a lil different at that ba...
even if me have a big party going on, with frens around,.... i would be laughing.. smiling.. but.. i wont be happy.
cos.. whats the point.. i have my family with me.. i have a big party going on... but... my swtheart... isnt by my side in person..
..so no.. i wouldnt be happy... on my 21st.. i remembered.. my family including redz are with me.. celebrate.. eat cake.. and.. well.. just very family gathering like.. but.... sam in camp. he couldnt get away.
still... its really nothing special.. i just need him.......
on my 22nd, ...he's leaving.. he said to me.. its the 2nd year already he spend it with me.. with tears in his eyes i could tell... why?? becos... ...='( yeah.. he's leaving.. and.. we couldnt spend the birthday together anymore in person like a normal couple would.
i'll never.. never forget the his expressions.. and the way he look at me when he said those words...
my working place.. shop cold.. i've always wanted to recall back how cold it gets in sydney when i was there.. then funny enough, my shop degrees ne.. is 23. =.= lol. what to expect. its an australia company anyway. ha. so yup.. cold.. but o well. good thing ba.. next time me see sam in sydney again, me wont get so cold. XD used to it liao. lol
outside ion shopping mall, theres always a man right outside the mrt station ready to help ppl out. say.. how to find one's way...etc. wow.. very pro ne... O.o.......... having a man outside doing such things.. wearing a suit somemore.. =.=
theres this staff. my 1 st day working with her. she acted all soooo nice and super friendly and cheerful. my sixth sense is telling me she's not that simple. she is pretending. and wow........ shocking. lol. i was right!!!!!!!!
my fren told me that she backstab everybody in shop. everyone. gosh. one time, she even tried to find fault with my fren. ask my fren who places that notepad in that place. my fren say its our manager sabrina. she kept quiet. then asked who places the stands there.. my fren say its her. then, she scold my fren in front of customers! using the 'F' word!!!! omg. ... after that, my fren say she never talk to her anymore. as in friendly type.
this shrewd person, also the same person who wanted to change schedule with me. and take credits for herself at my own expense. long story.. but its not commsion money regarding matter. . , but might be smiliar.. based on ur performance kind of thing.
anyway... i could tell she's acting sooo frenly towards ppl. gosh.. she's soo... o well.. i really do not wish to work with her -_-
hm.. so.. i skype with sam.. planning already to sing him a birthday song, and be hte first to call him up wish him a happy birthday.
he smiled soooo much . so many times. gosh.. im so happy cos of him. he smile so much. and im glad he did. im glad to make his day better... hm.. yeah.. i did cried when i sang to him birthday song.. lol.. o well.. but yeah.. this is the least i could do for him.. so glad hte pressy reaches him at the right time.
i want him to be happy all the time. especcially when he thought of me..
my voice.. almost gone.. keep saing welcome.. hello.. hi.. aiyo.. gonna rest ba.. im soo sleepy now
guys should really express themselves more huh. ..
sam.. told me whats bothering him after i asked him.. like yeah.. anything bothering him anot..
thoguht he might asnwerd again ike.. dunno.. nothing.. or don wanna talk about it.. but he did. and im so glad he did.
=D its like getting closer to the next level. =) not a long explanation.. but i get the whole idea..
so yup.. glad so he did.. =) im happy to share with him..
like he said.. about me msging him.. about brighten up his life.. if he never let it out, i would've thoguht im bothering him during his school time.
cos yeah.. speaking o fhtat.. gosh... i always thoguht i should msg him only when he goes for break. but turns out that.. i could msg him anytime =.= ha..
ps. im too slpy. lazy to correct any spellings wrong. zzzzzzzzzz
so yup... tmr so gonna msg him .yay.. glad he's alrite with it =)
ha.. ^^ still remember his smile.. so sweet.. soooo.. haha.. wanna grabbie him and kissy like thatXD lol
o well... really cant wait to see him again in person..... one day.. im sooo gonna let him have the best birthday ever!!! no need for big parties.. noisy ones.. just me and him.. in our world.. i wan him have the best..on his 20th birthday.. lol.. already tell my parents to give a surprise birthday at my house.. then .. ha.. o well.. gotta cancelled it off. cos its late, and theres another it show day he need to go. buy lappy. so.. yeah.. really sorry about htat.. cos told my family already=/ but its alrite.. then.. planned a ice cream cake too.. but too expensive.. somemore.. he didnt appear to want it very much.. ask him, he abit like. .shun it off ba.. anyway,yup.. surprised didnt go so well ne. XD ha..
his very first birthda me spendd with him, me never really plan anything. cos he gota go back at 5pm. somemore he's my first bf.. so i didnt know what am i supposed to do in a relationship! XD! lol.... so yup.. never really plann.. but we went for mc breakfasdt.. then movie.. its so simple, yet sooo precious memories we had.. as long as 2 ppl is together, nothing else matters.
but yeah.. im glad to be by his side on his 2 previous birthdays. nothign very big. but. im by his side.
i;'ll always be in his heart... i will be... in person we cant really feel.. but through hearts and souls we can...
remember i said it last night? i felt him in my heart.. even now too.. but. .the mroe focus i feel him, the more like.. wanna cry.. still....... its him with me.... so yup..
i miss him...............
hm.. k.. me super slpy le... gosh.. cant stadn it.. gdnight..
me mind cant think no more... zzzzzzzzzzzz
mata
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