Scars for life

hahaha... my colleague who's 19, thought im same age as her. lol. XD peaceeeee..... haha. but then again =.= nothing to be happy about ba. younger u look, ppl might not take u seriously at all. perhaps thats what happen with his parents..huh. o well

the other day i had this customer. so schoking. she's the same year borned as me. but she look like so young too. i thought she's a sec kid. lol . my colleague say yea perhaps its the way she dress.. and her hairstyle ba. . then commented that i have a more lady face. LOL. my face is more lady??? wth is that. hahaha so funny. question marks sia

i don get it. parents let their children slp with them? even if they are kids.. but. huh? nono. no way. the toerh time i said.. i wopnt ever wanna be the type pf parent who'll hurt their child, like emotionally. and i will not force my children in future to do things they dont like. (i tihnk). and i will never ever wanna meddle in their love affairs unless its a bitc* they're dating. like obvious kinda. haha. the next is , i will never ever let my childern slp with me n husband in the same room. how to have sex life sia liek that. like wth??? O.o dont give me the bullshi* of marriage is the grave of love. wtf . if such a thing happen, then might as well, find another man right??? what for marry a man who'll give u a grave end of love kinda marriage??  thats crazy. =.= where got ppl married liao, then canot act as lovely as before?? my fren she's undergoing all these situatuiinos now =/ sad sia... haiz... then makes her think of her ex. haiz.. this type of marriage how to survive. so yea.
im not gonna yea. be that type of parent.
i guess... just having some ideas ba ..for the future? LOL. if hteres ever one . ha. anwyay yea. no thanks to his parents, and my frens  situations, that is my results.
but thats all in the far away future.. haiz... who knows if there'll veer be one. we shall see then. at leats wish i could die after i get married. ha.. o well

woo..my manager tender alreayd. yup. its shocking . but yea. .we'll see how thigns goes from there ba =/
seriously , its a tough job. u need to have heaps of passion, and determination in order to have this job done well .=/ rrly alot of hardwork. so.. seriously, though im surprised more of the fact that its abit too soon. not surprise... well, becos this is a tough job after all. i hate ppl who thinks oh sales job is just simple sale job. .stand there.. useless kind of job. they can bite me all they want. stupid ppl.

o well. anwyay, mm.... yea. smiggles is great. awesome. but service standards, ha. not up to kikki - k . typo. no need to talk about.NO SERVICE AT ALL>. bOOOO

anwayy yea. still, i like their items! my bro bought the same clock as me =.= in diff collur. dotsss copy cat. LOL. but yea. great shop i must say.

u know. i duno how to save or whatsoever. i read from my fren spage or something. end of may, frenster wil ldelete every blogs n posts.. etc. id uno. but ya know.. sad. if my years of blogs are ggone, i duno what to say. all my memories of lvoe,m work n life are here.. kept in such a way... mm.. .well, hope will be fine ba.

mm.... i duno what to say.
looking back now. seems like everything just.. u know.
i searched for a video of me n him. couldnt find it. lol. sxtumbled upon some. .good old memories.. didint really remmeber or realised. .how swt those words were... how.. precious n.. so treasureable they were.. words of love n cares.. all in the conversation we used to share.. then u look at now. thigns changed ever since of u know whose interference... and.. looking back at the pains i endured,.. they left me nothing but scars. scars.. i wonder if they could ever be removed.. i meant the physical one. emtionally, of course u cant. never will.

no forgiveness. none shall be given.
selfish acts.. shall never be tolerated. it can not be forgiven for those are stupid reasons. not to mention excuses. old fashion ways of thinking are you saying? i don know them. but perhaps so you know.
o well. just treat this as a nightmare in reality. and tough luck for encountering the worst.
now i know. it wasnt my fault. problems doesnt lie with me. its with them.
i hope i could let this go one day.

mata 

Forgotten

omg. kk. faield again this month =.= huu.... o well. perhaps too stress or what ba. i duno. nvm. next month i try harder to save ba huu.... its ok... still can make it de... yup. holiday2.... slowly save.. i can do this.. just wonde rhow much ticket cost now =/ last year purchase was so.. gosh. high . cos that was so last min. 

whoa. see. channel newsasia host, my fren school lecturer.. are all angmohs =.= whoa. iw as like telling my bro.. omg. they are invading our space dude!! haha interesting.
but so nice. .i wish i have a aussie lecturer too .ha. but owe ll. i have all the foreigners customers. .so eya. just tlak to them ba.

todya supposed to make my bento box. .T_Thuu.. too laxy ba. ended up going through online websites. huuu.. .my bad. sorry. =/ cant help it. so bored. then wakey too early. so dedcided not to go out after all. abit runny nose in the morning so yea. ha

o well......
oh no. i totally forgot. my bills!!! and  something else. .omg. my wallet's gonna burn again T_T huuu..... nvm ba.haiz... the most i just eat instant noodles everyday or skip my meals while overseas .
goodness... why am i spending so much. must be stress eh? or too bored =/ geezzzzz

but anyway yea... mm... forgot what else supposed to say.. O.o weird.

my fren's birthday todya. she and her bf.. id uno. she always tell me about that.. i cant remmeber .but.. yea. i think.. i recalled somehting between me n sammy.. which is quite sad abit actually. .but cant remember whats it abou tnow.
anyway... ... yea. sometimes.. memories u chose to ignore.. they never die out. because. u know. .well, memories lives and stay forever with ya. whether u liek it or not. good or bad. it'll always be with u. for life.
photos.. kinda let me.. yea. remmeebr all that.

mm... memory loss. =.= totally ahve no idea what else im gonna blog. gosh.. nvm. o well... and im excited for a new store openig tmr...... muahhahaha.
secret. will reveal it soon. hehehe. how exciting

mm.. sxo yea. kk . one day to relax.. gotta cherish it. haiz... hang on girl.

mata

nice sweet smile =)

been wanting to say this. good ness. evertime i walked to bank, htere'll be this sxtupid model agency thingy coming up to u to get number. i walk back and forth trips, can be approacehed 2 or 3 times. wth. =.= its like. omg... arent they tired of standin gthere? =.= n before htey approaches me, i alreyad knew what they want. i'll be like. no i dont want this. hahahah. htey must be wonderin ghow i know hwat they wanna say eh. like duh. because they keep approaching me! =.= like diff ppl standing at diff locations. omg.
mm.. need to slp soon. mm. .i think i want what fo rmy birthday pressy. i duno.. but. .well, we shal lse ehow ba. ha
me so slpy desu... don feel like blogging. but yea. .u know. i miss frenster blog now. ha. so blog abit ba. kept foreting what im supposed to blog about. =.=
mm... o well .forgot liao .ha.. anyway, perhpas tmr i shall make a nice bento. uh huh. .we shall see.... hope i wont have runny nose, or too tired to do anything. yup.
oh today went out. feeling so bad now . .like i did somethign wrong desu.. o well... nvm ba. its over.
nawyay, was tlaking to the sales person. then in front of me theres mirror. then i notices... when i talk and smile, XDits ncie. LOL. sorry. [aiseh ne compliment myself. -_- but yea. .i like my smile^^ n abit of light dimple. hehehe. XD i guess this is the way of how i smile to customer eh. O.o i duno. maybe.
kk. .gotta rest down.
mata

Couples does that??

so i watched this video the other day. like everyone is posting it. i have a bad feelign about htis. perhaps its tooo sad or soemthng. so i didnt watch no matter what. but my fren sorta forced me to watch =.= dots. .so no choice. i watch.. then mm... well, htats why i said .. always treat everyday like its the first date, n the last. cherish3.. terasure3 every single sec of ur time together. and never ever forget the feleings n memorues when u first met. and so on. its kinda true the video.. but i didnt get the fighting scene part.. like.. do couples say such thigns to each other? so hurtful n .. and... mean!! omg. so scary eh. not nice. so sad n hurtful. im glad i didnt go through those dramatic scenes with sammy before. phewwwwwww n i hope i don ever have to go through those. how could u insult ur partner like that? even if u don mean to. but.. yea. .thats so disrespectful =/
o well. in anycase,.. yea.  just glad i didnt go through that phase.. or chapter. .whatever u name it. but some parts are funny. like theone he  saw the girl with a man photo.. his reactions so .. omg. hilarious. guys acted that sort of way eh. how interesting.
well, just gone through abit of home work' . getitng ready for my report again. as always.
played dinner conversation starter with my frens. it was fun. interesting.
gosh so tired n slpy. sick n runny nose whole day down man. =/ its terrible =(
oh i watche dabit of master chef. not bad. it slike. .anyone can be a chef. i like this theme. interesting. like. .yea. .all the contestants aint chefs, but trying to be one. thast nice eh. uh huh. interesting indeed. o well. no wonder hte book sammy showed me last time. .it has all the pics n tips.. of how to do what. .blah3.... no wonder he asked me if i want that book.. now i get it. ha. so swt of him.
anway, yea.. this host is mean. =.= but well, he can be cocky. because.. well, u know. but i like the fact that he said this in an interview before(i think its him. or the guy from he;;'s kitchen.. i duno. . ha) when asked who he think is the best cook, he replied that it is his mum  . aww... hten i asked my bro just now. .if im his mum, wouldnt i be worried n stress? like. .wow. .have to cook and let this high standard chef son of mine to taste it... dots... haha. yea... i wonder huh. but nah. i think his mum is a veey good cook inddeeed. so yea.

hm.. my fren say i look very pale today =/  owell. what to do. sneeze til wanna die liao.. so cold somemore.. my nose still not so good. .but at least not sneezing fo rnow. took med finally . huuuu
haiz. k ba. so far can thoguht of hte video.. to blog about
jaa, anotehr itme. 

Perkyness

wow. bugis street always have such great finds eh. no wonder its such a hit.
mm.... lets see... wow. slpt real late ytd. 5 plus am then managed to slp.
haiyo. waht forogt.. forgot waht to blog again. tch.. o well.
anyway, u know recently i wore this tight mini skirt. wow. i love it. no wonde rmy colleague that time told me she like my butt. lol. perhaps its just the two of us. or along with him. but yea i like my butt. cute n perky. lOL. =) but yea. i like that. i didnt kno wi have such curves on u know. hhaha. very interesting ^^ i like both my front n back. just nice. fits my body size just oh so good .^^ yay.
gosh. mum n dad was like asking me to get a bf. OMg. =.= i always choose not to hear her n brush that off. ha.. so irritating. my fren was like telling me call her when im getting married. i was like. wth? perhaps world end is coming, or perhaps u know.. i erm. .yea. .i just like to be like now u know. so yea. btw, she's afraid of that video of the erm.. yea 2012 thingy n u know.. nvm. ha
its a good day. so yea
gosh so slpy .. yea rrly need some rest right now. like. .since ytd till now, didnt really rest well. but alrite i guess. so so.
mm... yea . today theres this pokemon video. ha. so intersting.keep on watching over n over. acting skills so good. i mena in a funny wya that is. ha..
then another video. omg. =.= so disgraceful.  what electric eyes.. what.. cannot go out without her extension fake lashes.. another girl.. talk about money spend on her fake boobs... omg.. .these girls are so.. omg. im speechless. how do they find such courage to .. u know. say such stupid things?? omg. is . .ha. rrly disgusting. i will be shocked if any of hte man is willing to marry them. =.=
mm..... so yea. hehe. i love my body ^^ but a pity no chance to u know. .show it off with photos. i can. but. .i don wanna post them on internet =/ weir dto let my frens see right?? wait they think waht. . im a bitch, or trying to show off or something =/o well.. used to be able to take pics for him.. now ..no more. so ytea.. take, also no use. but..  o well. mmm... perhpas one dya shall have a way ba. right. maybe. ;)
mm.. k ba. gonna go rest abit liao. mm... after one more month or so... i think i can start thinking of which dates to set my leave... during birthdya time. .duno good idea anot .. mm.. or perhasp early july. i dunno man. anway, i just cant wait ba. or perhaps.. mm...... geez i duno. how long .. mm.. more than one week ba?.. .mmm... o well.. yea. .i rrly cnat wait for leave man.. .so gonna rest well...... wow. thats like. 5months later of work!!! ha. .yea. .then can break. nvm.. hang on!!!!!
mata

Place Not Of My Own

ok. so.. i will try my very best to recall wahts waht.. or whatever.

so.. i have this very young fren. LOL. knew i was older. but couldnt believe my real age. so funny the situation. thought i was 17 =.= im just kinda like. .numb n used to this all now. yea..  but its good words eh. ha... then i was having my break. bumped into fren with her fren. then later my fren tell me, her fren say im pretty. hahaha. but. =.= why ar. have i really changed my looks or wat =.= i don get it. i thoguht i look the same. .nothign special happen mah.. mm... nah... no need to think so muc about htis ba. good words. good ba. no need to think so much. or be so happy about. o wlel
had this customer the otehr day. OMFG............ he is sooo irritating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i think he's from myanmar. not sure. ok. so there was this group of ppl. they were talking in their own language. then somehow, i duno why. left this guy n this girl only. they looekd like couple. but then like not. so im not so sure. anway. i have no idea if he's tryign to flaunt his fluent accent of speaking english language.. , or he's trying to impress me, or my colleagus.. or . .u know. i think he's just trying to show off??
anway. so he started to read this memory book sort of product in store. reading in english. and speaking to the girl in english. =.= the girl, dunno much about english. she don really understand, or speak well. and throughout this whole long journey he was tlaking about the book with her, she didnt even reply much!! becos she's not good with english at all. like.. wth? u can speak ur own language to ur fren, why speak so loud using english??? correct to say that he's showing off right??? omg. yea he's got this thick accent. omg. so irritaintf!! i pity the girl. she didint or couldnt speak with him. cos he keeps on blabbering using englsih language. if u knew ur fren cant speak wellwith english, why spealk with her using english? wouldn;t u would've use myanmar language with her instead? he knew how to speka their own language k. omg. he is so friggin irritating. so hateful. grr.... poor girl. i hope she's not his gf. suey to have this type of show off bf ne. who doesnt care about her.
o well. anwway, mm.. .get to speak abit to manager about the store and whas been happening.. .couldnt catch up with her properly. .so yea. talked to her about it for a couple of mins when she asked me. so me just said it ba. haiz. so difficult to tlak when everybody putting us together =/ sighs.. .duno ba. need to see how things could go... rrly wish to have a very good long talk.. and pour out all my heart about work
mmm......
whoa. so beautiful. the whole of clark quay... plus leading somewhere further insidfe, ... wow. so many beautiful pubs, bars, restauraant.. cool .soo cool. so nice. very nice place to dine in n chilllax. so many angmohs siaaaaaaaa omgggggggggggggg one of the pub was like.. not even a single local can be found -_-''' wow. yea. .i was like. .wait a min. thsi seems as though waht sammy said.. see. .so manay angmohs. .cannot go in.. they racists wan. but what i saw sholdn;t bee too much of a prob. this is sg. so far so good. like wow.
 very ncie place though. all the restaurnts.. .nice for a date out too. easy. totally reminded me of the nights i went out with him...in sydney. so smiliar.. ..o well. beautiful memories ba.
mm.. anyway yea. interesting ne. then alnog the bridges, alot of youngsters locals.. sat down n having drinks... cool. very cool. n layback.
mm...so yea. thats it. very cool eh.
but i felt so.. distance. always. i even had to ask my foreign fren about sg.. =.= its like as though he was born here, not me. DOTsSSSS i know... bloody weird =.=
mm.. weird. i forgot what else i wanted to tlak about. o well. nvm ba. hopefull ytmr can be  recall
mata 

Home only to sleepyness and tiredness

my fren send me the justin bieber video. then.. OMG. i still hate him as much as like ever!! -_-
omg.. he just.. arghhhhhh i hate him!!!!! no wonder he's popular with lil girls. with such actionssssss n sweettalk. omg. i hate this type of guys .. u know mme -_-
omg. .i cant stand his action2 ... argh.
oh last night dreamt of him again. n workplace too. always conencted . gosh. .i hate to dream of work.. =/
sighs. been so freaking tired.. dinner not so good... =/ o well... too tired to eat ba.
i do look different now huh i wonder. i wonde rhow much weight i've lost.
oh gos.. im so tired. sosoosos tired. wish to slp now and yea. jsut don wanna wake up again.
SUPER DUPER TIREDDDDDDD
mm.. =/ nothing pretty much to say i guess.
just cant wait for my turn to have a holiday =/
gohs. .this time, after i get my pay plus the gov money, i MUST be strict with myself!! otehrwise cant buy tickets liao T_T

 so yea... mm.. like that ba.
gosh. .like my nails so much. one of the best ever. =) hehe. thansk to the gorgeous nail colour i bought form sydney =)
yea .dreamt of heading into that store with sammy last last night. wait . isit/  i said this in my last blog huh>? haiyo cant rememebr. but owell
 mm.. bored. =.= very sianzzzzzzz should've eat more. but i stil ldidnt =/
haiz. how i wish to shop at sydney now. wow. .the last itme i walked past zara... not yet open.. now, open alreyad.. and it seems to be such a huge news. =.= dots.i dont get it .so expensive n not nice. like topshop. why ppl like it so much???? =.=''''' argh. don get it.
cant get it.
o well. bt yea. .im very curious to drop by and see hows the crowds there n everything. ha...
i knew it. pfft .the complain to typo wont work at all .hate th ecotton on company grrrr......... but yea. i still like typo here n there even though they're copy cats. huu.. o well.
haiyoooo fren invited me to go to this party at god knows where =.= tch. .duno wanna go..or not. somemore not close with this fren. but my gfs duno free anot. arghhhhhhhhhhhh duno ba. too tired to think. argh!!!!!
customer asked .. oh a couple of them alreayd asked. .like. .oh are u guys always so happy working here? i just say. .well, its very tiring.
where go thappy? isit2?? well, maybe becos the way i tlak . .always bubbly n cheerful... so yea. but god knows man.. how friggin tired this job is. omg. sales job aint easy peeps. not especiall ywhen u're in the real business one . o well. just do it man

mm... theres this guy.. customer. .walk in with heart shape bear design balloon.. then bought a notebook. .asked to wrap it up.. then wrote something inside the book...
so sweet... a guy ne.. holding a red love shape bear design balloon.... aw.. how swt is that when a man is will ing to do htat for u? better than the stupid justin bieber. arghh.. =.= but yea.. nice ne.such a nice man.. i hope his heart wont ever be broken.
let time and true love speaks for itself.
huu.. im slpy liao...... must hang on desu..
no wonder.. im shopping too much huh? nothign to do. hten shop online =.= dots.. no wonder so difficult to save up .ahiz. .o well...... =/
go out, also spend money. at home also XD lol. o well...
mm...
bored.
mata 

Predicted dreams

perhaps.. the more the past gets forgotten, yea.. but i wonde rhwy memories sticking iwth me insterad of him. .. don really like that..  either rememerb together, or forget together..  ewll.. ont that it matters u know waht anymore..
gosh. like i said. ha. cant belivee this. dreamt of him. then 2nd one, durign a nap . 2 times sia. but amzingly enough , ipredicted my dreams. ha. yea. its alwyas lke this. work plus him. either toggether, or a day after. see. i knew my dream sliao =.= omg. that is so freaking weird.o well. mm.. lets see i f i can predit it tonight.. haha. freaky
i had this custome rht eother dya. she's an angmoh. but speaks singlish accenc.t. then.. her bf or frne i duno. a malay guy. carrying her bags n stuffs. but anywya, yea.. i was shocked. when i aske dfor he rmember details. .her birthdte.. 1998. ...dotsssssss wth. sh elooke dlike 18 yrs olf to me!!! WHOA. i was like... what??? she looked sooo mature!! i know2.. angmohs always look older than their age. but .. omg. thats freaky yea... lucky.. me don have to suffer that. im only suffering hte fact that pl thought im younger. =.= but not rrly suffering .but yea. o well. shockingnonetheless... for htat girl. whoa. so old looking
mm.. bro not coming back home tonight =/ sighs..... sianzne... alone again. my frne have a lil sis .wish i haev one too. but then again. might be a bad idea. becos i'll be worried about her with guys.. etc... scary ne. so yea. lol. perhaps no. rather be alone instead.
mm...
sighs. so tired man... wanted to do some obento.. also too lazy or tired to do =/ ... no one todo for anyway.
but yea.
oh. lov ethis nail colour.. this nail poslis, i boguth it from sydney. i remembr excatly the store image. .but that tiem it wrote that its closing down sale= / so i duno man. .i hope it'll still be there when u know.. im back at sydney. haiz. but yea. it compliments my skin tone, and so natural .i rrly like ti sooo much. last bottle too . and u can tfin dit online i think. haiz. o well. hoepfully will still have ba.
he offers to bring me. i was reluctant at first. becos.. u know.. just don wish to get him into any sorts of trouble. who knows.. if bump into them one more time. .we cant even be frens no more. =/ so yea. but. .i duno . o well... sigsh.
anywayy, body jus so tired man. =/argh. .sianz. oh. btw, my naisl so shiny n pretty. llook as though done by a professional ha. but its actually done by myuse,lf!!
ok. so in the end my fren didn tbreak up at all. duno why that stupid guy say such stupid wrid things. =/ anyway. like. .this fren of ours bro, still msgin her. saying he likes her. .saying he like to flirt with her. iwas like. .omg. she 's still willing to msg him? wwth. whoa....... thats overboard. and her bf don mind.  what sort of a bf is that
anway....... yea. been siting all day man .i cant stand any longer. i can sit fo rmore than 24hours i htink. slp for 24hours i think . both!! im just really tired. my body. i duno =/ haiz.......
sighs.. o well. need to chill out one of this day man.
and i cant wait for july. hopefully i can apply for some ince off days... gosh.
mm.. abit headache...
gosh. can so slp righ tnow till don wan to wake up =/... why s tired i wonder....... perhaps becos im missing out somethng in my life.
no meanings to mov eon.
o well.
mm.. did i forgot tos ay something again? O.o weird.. ...
o well..cant remember
mmm.. wat wasit... i still suddenly recalled whe i was brushing just now =/....
o well. .forget it ba.. .
i don feel so good today.. =/ hopefully tmr be a better one eh.. ...haiz. =(
when they said.. all decent men are either dead, or married,.. i wonder if that could be true. .. it is so,, rare nwadays huh.. i used to have one. but turned out the other way.  oh how i wonder...
anyway... dreams.. mm.. lets see iff my predictions gonna be right again...
its weird. .this has never been so long for a drema like that.. a month alreayd?  work as well.. .i gues.s. perhaps these 2 mattes ..are the most in affectin gme ba?  stress n ..jus .. u know. perhaps thats why even in dreams, htey wouldnt leave me. yea. how i wish in reality he didnt . but yea.
its ok.. memories will fly with time passed for him..
wishing him all the best as ever.
oh cheers. exam wen twell for him i think. yay
 haz. so bored n dead tired. very bored indeed.. wish my days could've been happier though.. from the bottom of my heart. that day. .should be able to come by again right? ...yea. just waiting. .n witing. .n waiting...

...where is the support when u need it most.............. ..
mata



-when ppl changes, they're dead. its time to forget n change those feelings- 

good Man

sooo tired. .my legs hurt soooo much...........
omg.
eh. did my face loses weight as well? O.o i duno ne. mm... =.= but owe ll. still have waht i have.. its ok. nothing lost. but. .yea. .these days whenever after i had my meal, i'll feel like throwin gup. no ar. .but like. .irriating... feelign. .o well. maybe in days to come will be fine ba.
..wonder if he'll become such a person.. decent is waht attracted me to him.. ppl changed. .but i wonder .if that part of him wil lbe too..
anyway.. .duno if i had blog htis or not.. mum said.. dont ever marry a man who gambles, drinks, smokes , and.. one more duno what.. ... cant remmeber,.. but yea. very suey to maryr such ppl she say. becaose they wont care about anything else . not family.. not u. only themselevs. .n their fav hobby. my fren was like.. she don mind. omg. what? yea. .she say.. its ok wat.. for guys to smoke. i was like. .whoa. no way. i agree with my mum. hardcore mens like that aint any good thing yo.
she do smoke. .but. .to say such thing. .like. .don care about her future liek that =/ i duno.. becos. .in the end, u're only left with spending ur life with ur husband, n children. so.. why dont care? to marry such a man, worth it? no way i say. =/
o well.
whoa . i am freaking tiredddddd. i cant even stand for long. =/ legs hurts man.. haiz.
slpy.. n tired.. walk abit, leg pain liao.
 freaking tired sia. hiaz... o well...
bear with the physical pains ba.  yea....
mm.. something i need to blog.. but forgot. .isit? i duno. im too tired. don feel like typing..
bah. .o well. oh hopefully sammy's exam will turn out good ne. .praying for him . i wonder if he'll change the points i like about him one day..
but owell.
kk.. gtg slp. so tired. btw. typo rrly is a huge copy cat. but. .well, hate them. yet. i doon mind getting their products again. ha. perhaps one day. o well.
nights
jaa

mata

Poor Appetite

gosh. . lunch couldnt finish again. i rrly couldnt eat as much as previous time eh. i duno. sometimes can. sometiems no. bt like.. i dont like losing weight ar... huu.
o well. nvm ba. hmm... oh. come to think of it, u know. i dreamt of sammy again. then.. i forgot what he did.. but. .theres this image of him like.. trying to hand me something. i duno man. mm.... wonder if tonight same thing wil lhappen again or not. have a feeling not. should be tmr. .but well, i duno. i cant predict anything... mm..
o well.......
ahh... had a fren of mine. .waiting to take exam..in order to study in pearth for three years. pity her =( parents wanted her to go. not her wishes. but its her parents =/ sighs... i duno man.. i don liek the idea of.. being helpless, and everything gotta go with ur parents.. she's not a kid no more. but.. o well... poor thing. no fren sthere. =/ at least sammy have his cousins or yea. ... anyway... haiz. what to do.
but. .wah ... why pearth T_T.. .at leats if sydney, better right. huu........ nvm. at leats not perth melb n sydney all cover up =D now i wanna go anywhere, will have somebody i know. oh gold coast too.
haha. but yea... haiz....... poor thing =/ i understand how she's feeling man. i hope she'll be fine. o well... ..=/
mm... there's soemthign i wanted to blog about for a long time. but always forgot. seemms like i forgot again. lol. wth. weird..... waht was it huh.. ..mmm.. .i rrly cant rememerb .. haiyo.
 mm.. cant rememerb anything. o well.
anwyay, didnt slpt well ne. keep waking up.. then somemore. last night.. omg. i duno if its the caffine, or waht.. its like. i duno if my heart's beating very fast. .but like.. i was so. .eew. .terrible2 feeling!! sick !! then need to hurry rest. couldnt even lift a smile. like. .zombie sia. i think im allery to red bull n coffee. ..n duno what. =.= eew.. terrible .thoguht i was gonna die. slp n wont wake up . ever.
mm/./ forgot what else to say.. o well
leg hurts.. =/ tired. slpy. mm...
mata

Poor Appetite

gosh. . lunch couldnt finish again. i rrly couldnt eat as much as previous time eh. i duno. sometimes can. sometiems no. bt like.. i dont like losing weight ar... huu.
o well. nvm ba. hmm... oh. come to think of it, u know. i dreamt of sammy again. then.. i forgot what he did.. but. .theres this image of him like.. trying to hand me something. i duno man. mm.... wonder if tonight same thing wil lhappen again or not. have a feeling not. should be tmr. .but well, i duno. i cant predict anything... mm..
o well.......
ahh... had a fren of mine. .waiting to take exam..in order to study in pearth for three years. pity her =( parents wanted her to go. not her wishes. but its her parents =/ sighs... i duno man.. i don liek the idea of.. being helpless, and everything gotta go with ur parents.. she's not a kid no more. but.. o well... poor thing. no fren sthere. =/ at least sammy have his cousins or yea. ... anyway... haiz. what to do.
but. .wah ... why pearth T_T.. .at leats if sydney, better right. huu........ nvm. at leats not perth melb n sydney all cover up =D now i wanna go anywhere, will have somebody i know. oh gold coast too.
haha. but yea... haiz....... poor thing =/ i understand how she's feeling man. i hope she'll be fine. o well... ..=/
mm... there's soemthign i wanted to blog about for a long time. but always forgot. seemms like i forgot again. lol. wth. weird..... waht was it huh.. ..mmm.. .i rrly cant rememerb .. haiyo.
 mm.. cant rememerb anything. o well.
anwyay, didnt slpt well ne. keep waking up.. then somemore. last night.. omg. i duno if its the caffine, or waht.. its like. i duno if my heart's beating very fast. .but like.. i was so. .eew. .terrible2 feeling!! sick !! then need to hurry rest. couldnt even lift a smile. like. .zombie sia. i think im allery to red bull n coffee. ..n duno what. =.= eew.. terrible .thoguht i was gonna die. slp n wont wake up . ever.
mm/./ forgot what else to say.. o well
leg hurts.. =/ tired. slpy. mm...
mata

Heart Breaker

im soooooo tired.... today wakey so early.. then yea.. never rest. sianz... o well. .don tlak abou that ba.. =/ had a java chip form starbucks in morning. then red bull. then 2 cuppas coffee. but body so tired.. like wanan break liao.
anyway...
mm... oh. last night. wow. having goosebumps sia... my fingers too sore too type long. .maybe i shall make it short. i have alot to say.. but. .eya . sorry =/
see.. i also knew this is gonna happen again. hte aliens.. u know. if u're a skeptic, hten forget it. none of my concern. but im jus saying.. u know. all along since i was young i've always believe in them. n... u know. its a weird feeling .i also duno why. but... yea.. .perhasp in the future i might fin dout why. then.. the video.. u know. all these techs that we have right now. its obvious. where it came from. n... ya know..  ... its difficult to explain. but. u knmw. its errie sometimes when u know they are watching from above through the youtube videos u can see.. .and.. its happening again. after they disappeared for a decade or so. only appearing on n off. now, they're making their presence nkownn again.
im rrly starting to think of what imma do. in case u know. 2012 is here .or. .'tehy' are here. it sounds insane. but. haiz. i just wanan do what i want to i guess? if only i coudl travel more man =/ n if only IF theres rrly such few years left, i wish i could just spend it with him... just ignore his parents or whatsoever.
ha. was telling my bro last night. i don wanna die without getitn gmarried n have children. why not we go matchmake now? lol. jk. but yea... it slike ..i wanna feel love again. don wanna die lie that ne huu... but hten.. eya. i wanan travel while i can man. enjoy myself. jsut try. y aknow. =/
n.. yea..
the other day i saw this custoemr. .so cool .tattoo a leg garter on her thigh. with a gun pic too
but i wont choose a gun./ but the garter. .whoa. cool. but u know. if i had done it , i might just look like a bitch.  so perhasp not? ha. or perhaps when world end is here ba. NAH. JIK. haha
sammy was asking me what would happen if he post certain pic on fb. i duno man. he's a guy. he's better with handling such sleeze bags? thats what he told me. .bags. sleeze ones. lol. if me, will be trouble. sleeze, i don care so much. i  dun bother. jsut that. i might risk losing more frens. u know me. i don like my frens turn to like me.. becos of the way i lok.. or my body look.. i need someone.. who love me.. fo rwho i am. just fo rme. for my everything. ya knwo what im saying? so yea.. but then. .i wanted to show myself. .different sides of me. so.. yea.. o well. better dont htink of that for now ba..
for his case, i guess its easy for a man huh. the most.. i duno. get some attention from girls or something? to oogle at him? O.o does girsl do that? i duno. for me, if a man ever post his fb dp of his upper body showing off, i'll be turn off. LOL. i know. XD im diff k. i;ll thinkthat they are such a show off. purposely let girls think they're hot. i duno. do guys rrly like these type of unwanted attentions? O.o whast so good about it. mm.. i don get it. to make themsleves feel good? mm.. whats so good when all bitches like u for who u arent. when they didnt even know u wellenough. does bosy says it all? i am..confused of waht the could be thinking. interesting... O.o perhaps.. ppl thinks.. differently.. ... yea..we're all diff humans nayway...
but lucky i know sammy well enough. so i wont hate him .don worry guys. he will have his reasons for doing things. nice huh. u do ur fav sport, then get a nice body. i guess he likes it. ha. but yea.. my fren.. sh eloves guys with abs. i was like. .wth -_-'''' Lol. i duno ne. do girls rrly like abs so much? why care so much for it? isit that important. im confused. being different, sometimes rrly make sit difficult fo rme to understand my own kind.
ever wonder hows it gonna be.. if u were to disappear one day? or even worse. what if ur familuy couldnt rememebr u ? that would've feel so.. ... sad huh... =( nah. what am i think ing. ha. wthat the
oh.. seesm like .my fren going through weird process.. rememebr that fren of mine? i said her bf gib me a frenly punch on shoulde.r .lok at me i think? he msg her wana restart their relatiohnshop. wth sia! she also duno what that means. haiz...... o well.. duno ba.i guess...=/ u know.. ...
oh. .just read somthing my fren posted. his fren kena beaten to death in mornign after he went to club. see.. .be really careful don argue. .just let matter go mah. at clubs. .ppl drunk. insane. crazy. why act like pretend to be a fighter, tough man, COOl.. go and argue or fight or whatsoever. i hate mens who try to act manly n act cool!!! i tell u. i really 2 hated that. i like those who are smart. not stupid with fists. omg. nowadsy .. ppl only know how to act cool. talk big. like. .just let it go. why get into so much trouble. =/ tch.. duno ba.. hope sammy will be fine eh.. well, his place have much more dangers lurking around mah. touch wood. kk. .
haiyo.. body aching..
shoot. .now im trying to make my fren stop crying. omg. todya i just got teary eyes sia .then remind myself hold back. i musnt cry.. one week is almost up.. .cannot cry... =/
then now gotta convince others. omg. how??? =( when i cant help myself, must find better ways to help ppl. huu... do my best ba.. haiyo.. tch.. i duno what to say sia.. if i know, my heart wouldnt be smashed into pieces right now. how sia... doingmy best now.. =/
stomach growling.. but . rather tc of her first...
u know... it rrly sucks.. ..haiz... u gave ur heart all out. wishing he'll protect it n cherish it. but.. u know... =( ..somtimes ur wishes cant come true....
teary eyes now. .cannot!!!! i mustnt cry!! control pauline. .conrtoll!!
ok..  better abit now. phew.. but my frne.. haiz. how sia.. =/ how to pacify her....
then another guy is showing her more concerns. our frens brother. =.= i don like sia. take this chance. .guys always like that. hm.. do girls do that too? scheming girls should be ba? yea. anyway, he's a marid.. i dun like if she seeks solance in him. guys. .always taking this chance when u need a perosn to reply on most. =/
mata
-when u think of him, who knows if he's thinking of you. other ppl on his mind now. but u know.. the hardest thing to ever control, is heart, and mind. ur heart. .dont lie. -
-wear the mask, soon. .everyday mask should be able to sink in.. but it wont get to the heart. because your heart do not lie. my heart even when it's been shattered, it's still .....-

Troubles for nothing -_-

wow. sooooo slpyyyyyy sad sia. today runny nose. not enough slp.. then wakey early. .then duno ba. cold also.. huu... wow. even after 2 hours of nap still very slpy. zzzz haven done my work yet. huu... sucks man this feleing .as though like doing homework . ha.. o well

sso slpy... zz wonder if ishoould slp now. but.. dun rrly wan to ne.. time flies. .so yea 

had a dream of him again. diaon... ha. .i know... perhapsy i've been thinking of him too much at night. .haiyoo.. o well... 

oh also dreamt of travelling alone to sydney. though the place dont look at it at all. but yea. ha... kinda nice. but scary abit. was like trying to find my hotel door. .then have to walk n ask around while pulling my luggage around.. 

wahhh slpyy. canot. must han gon!!!
oh. im almost there.. one week without teears. yay...

mm.... oh ytd there was a handsome lad. ccustomer .my colleguae all like hwat sey,. then lol. fo rme, im the type of person who will avoid such ppl. i'll walk away to one side far2 away. then do my work behind counter. then he approached me sia asking to find a notebok. haiyo.... wah liao. then me just show -_- then all done, i hurry outta store, go toilet ba. when i came back, my colleague told me that after she said thank you, before he walk off, he turn back n msile n wave to her goodbye. i was like. .omg.......

what a show off!!! thats why i hate guys liek that. =.= trying to show off how charming he is.. omg. cant stand it. thas why me rather walk far2 away.  

aw.. i have these lil dots on my wrist now. dark colours of dots..i wonder if thats ever gonna disappear huh.. those days.. mm.. such pains.. i'll never forget how a heartbreak could felt. thats just soething,, noboday wil lever wish to go through.. sometimes i wonde rif i 'll go through a 2nd one again eh.. mm... but well.. that'll all be in the future.. i hope. .theres happiness somewhere in the dark.. maybe.. =/ just somewhere...i hope

mm...so slpy. =/ boring...
shop online ba...

oh yea!! the income thing. turns out everythign is fine. n i gone through all troubles for nothing!!! omgggggggggg

and i forgot to check how to get back home from the cc i wen to. lol .then sudenly bus came. i just hop eon. .hoping its gonna lead me back to where i came from. lol. and it did! i jst hop onto hte bus without checing the routes.. cos bus was here. n i cant wait to get home. haha.. butyea... al lstuoid worries for nothng .arghh sianz. =.=

soemties.. i could be talking all over alot of time sabout something. then when i said it again, bro reply me as though it was his first time hearing it. .. haiz. wth... see. .like never listen to what i wanted to say. =/ baka ne.. ...

o well.
haiz. sianz... yea.. i've indeed lost some weight i think.. hte tightest jeans i won, feels loose now. its like. .already such small size! -_- o well.. its ok. i think im back to eating heaps again. .should be fin eba.. ... mm.. yea..? 

mata 

Welcome to sg GM

wow. stress abit. dots. the highest.. gm is here!! in the house yo. omg. whole day. wow... everyone needs to be on tip top condition.. i heard thigns aint going well ne.. mm... .but whatever ba. not my prob . .for now.. m. .o well
so slpy liao.. ha. oh.. read news about assistant manager get promoted to regional manager. 2 of them. was shocked. O.o. but one of them started out as assistant manager anyway... well, i guess they must have tons of experince wiht them alreyad eh. so cool. o well.. mm.. u know. .i bet our gm salary miust be like 5k? lol... wow. superb. very pro.... haiz. soemtimes i wish. .theres ppl like that in the store u know=/ if not, lok at the way ppl do thigns now. .anything2.. .then when im the only one being strict, ppl talk behind my back, dislike me. wth right. thats why i rather work with someone whos a pro. though very stress. but at least thigns have their own rules n u know. o well.. i wish after yanika is gone, they will hurry replace her with someoen else abroad.. duno will do so anot. .(doubt so =.) but hope so ba..
theres a custoemr today. .i think . .perhaps younger than me a lil? or same.. i duno. but she's studying in switzerland now. i bet she is a bloody rich kid. with amex credit card, uob visa card.. plus spending over 200 bucks for photo album to keep along with her frens. .well, she have 4 ppl in total in a apartment studying there. now back to sg for internship four months. that is what i called a lucky person. ...=/ who doesnt wish to be born that way huh.... o well.. just feel envious abit.. but u know. im alreayd much better n luckier than others.. think of the ppl in india.. or iraq... wahteevr ba. i wish to go there one day. switexerland.. but duno. .very expensive too i heard. .o well=/
see how ba... first learn how to tc myself alone. today scratched my hand again. dotssssssss =.=
so many on one hand =.= haiz.
mm.. forgot wha else.... mm... o well. duno ba. oh. gues swhat.  i duno. .i thnk she's the boss of this boutique.. at wheellock place. she asked me to have a look at her store. clothes from new york.. etc. .get great reviews in fashion magazines all over.. i was serving her actually. and she liek me. ask me if i would liek to work fo rher. LOL .omg... asked me to send in my resume if im interested. ..wow. she said hardly she come across a person like me whos so proactive. wow. so glad ne. ha. so many customers asked fo rmy name today. lol. well, with gm around, gotta work harder. ha... anwyay, yea... intimate fashion> ? gosh i forog tthe name. but i have her name card. .perhaps tmr i shall check her store out eh.. .. mm . .interesting.
so slpy liaooooo.... oh this week okok ba. i thought worse. good thign tmr no breakfats thingy. phewwwwwww otherwise sianz=.=
mm. .i think im missing out on something.. duno what to blog ne. forgottttt -_-
mm.. need to slp le ba.. i think.
oh!! my fren. with her bf. so weird siaaaaaa.... i don like ppl bf looking at me. i was talking to my fren. but from the corner of my eyes can tell he looking. i mena. maybe its ok or natural la. .but eyes on me so long me uncomfy ne. .=/ like sooo weird!!
oh. at one point. haha. he wanted to ask me about this conversation starter. .this question. .what ur dad n mum like to do most. . my fren was liek saying. .don ask her.. she very pure wan. .wont get ur meaning. then i was like. .dots.. should be something funny =.= hten yea. .. he's trying to be funny n meant. u know what =.= dots. .but was like. .wow. so nice ar. my fren say i very pure. haha. i mean innocent ba. i wonder what makes sammy n my fren think this way of me huh... o well .
then yea . an hour full, i refrain from looking at him. i just don liek to look at ppl who's looking at me ba. like for guys. very weird=/ cept for customers la.. but if too weird, then will look at product insterad. LOL . but yea. then before he go, i waved gdbye to my fren. .then fren walk away.. i wave to him.. then he gib me the .. u know fren punch? yea. .light punch on my shoulder. i was like. .DOTs. hello. im not close to him sia...... omg... =.= ' 'duno ba. maybe its natural for him to do that? but weird sia.... where got ppl meet for 2nd time gib fren punch wan.. =.= funny. o well. just so weird.
mm... .so yea.
oh dreamt of sammy again. omg. like huh? how come. i think i always think of him before i go to bed. .thast why ba.. but i duno ne. bene doing htat every ngiht fo r3 years.then now dremaing more ofhim O.o this tiem, at thsi lover game show tv show... then thers other ppl.. like games n stuff ba. very weird.. O.o
so yea thats it. oh and i totally dislike what my fren bf did. so maddening. she's so pissed off too. like... when they met up., thenaccidentally, they wore same colour of clothes n jeans. .like a couple shirt. then he got mad. and show black face to her. like. .wth man??? he should be proud htat they are thinking the same. .wwearing the same clothes n style.. together for a day only. whats so shameful abou t it??? i rrly cant stand this man. then like don wanna hold her hands.. wanna push her away sia. omg. =/ what kind of a bf is that?? tch.
 small matter only mah.. why? so scared ppl could tell that they are so lovey dovey enough to wear same clothes? so waht????? why care what ppl think? omg.
u know. i was wrong. me along with izuan, about i duno. 2 yrs ago? or how long ago. .when our fren met this new guy. .he's abit touchy la. so even her best fren also disliek the guy. even me think sure they will not make it for pass 6 months or soemthing. guess what. they are still together now ne =) wow. i felt bad. .fo rbeing so sure at that time. so confident he rrly isnt a good guy. i duno him .but well, a tleats they are still together... n appearing in photos. .so i think they are fine still. aw.w... i felt bad cos. .i also think that.. one shouldmt be listening to family or frens words. becos u're the only one who knwos whats right for u. not others. n.. to think. .years ago, when i was still in atz btw.. i actuall ybecame part of that 'fren' who discourage her. evryone, even her best fren disapprove oof the guy. but yea.. glad she proved us and them wrong =) congrats hammy. ha.. .
so yea..  just glad.. uh huh.... haha.
i had htis fren. like. i duno. like. .so i thinkk he's the only fren i knew, who is.. clean. i mena soryr. he have this clean image. he dont drink. he used to smoke when he was younger.. n didnt know whats right or wrong. .learned it from frens. .but then he quit. (i think now also not smoking ba-_-) then profile almost zero of any girl texting him. he hangs out with lots of male frens.. n yea. .almost 100% comemnts n msgs are from his guy frens. wow. at first i did thought.. lol. is he. .perhaps not straight? but no. that couldnt be. i know him. lol. but yea.. i am very surprised. very very clean image for a guy eh. sam is almost like him. but not there. abit smiliar though. but yea.. ha.. i duno .sometimes i wonder why. o well. i guess its the same ba. for girls too. if u hang out with all ur besties who's male, of course photos n texting will be form them too. ppl u trust .. brothers... u know. with girls. .same.. .. pics with girls.. they 'll post on ur wall.. etc.. its the same. i guess.. what makes this abit interesting is that. .for girls its quite normal.. but for  guys, ... well, nowadays u see photos or gangs.. or girls texting on the wall of the guy they like or soemthing. .i duno. so yea. perhasp so. flirt i giuess thats what its called. ha. so for that didnt appear on his wall, he's very decent indeed. why doint u guys ry going to perhaps... 6 or ur frens .. male profiles now. i bet u'll find within 3 days, alot of girls comemnts, or msgs.. etc. haha. posts i mena. yea. btu then again, perhpas he's not such a big fb user ba. hahahah.
that trait.. is one of hte best thing i loved most about adding sammy in frenster. ha. though i know he deleleted a couple of comments.. lol. but yea. .after that, its been good. ha. .talke about frenster  eh.. im still here using it. fo rblogs i mena. mm.. good old days eh... looking at his photos.. and abit afraid to meet him .well who knows.. this once a stranger now became a part o fmy life. n my everything.  its a wonder how fate works sometimes... i love how those times of innocence.. pure love hangs around.. it was so good. so.. yea. .nice..... best happiest times of my life..
 ..o well...
super late now.. huu.. .gdnight peeps.
mata!




-no matter how hot ur girl is, how many guys wishes they can do her, only you will get to. because she's yours. she belongs to you- 

Boringsss

mm..... today wow. non stop work.. like. .5hours just passed like train. . i duno wht to say.
anyway.. .mm...... before i even step into the store, wah. kena blood liao. T_T huu... so.. omg. 3 red cuts today on my hands. wth =.=
ohh.. good thign my phoen is alrite now. so weird. .suddenly no conenction.. i check through n through.. but cannto find out why. hten sammy guide me there . like.. what?? i went through the same steps sia.. omg... but didnt see any at all...
haiyo... o well. but. .mm.. yea..'
so tired. n slpy. yawn....... =/ hang on hang on ne... i wil l.. just hang on ba........
haiz... so sianz.. .
forgot waht to say ne. was i gonna say anything? weird.  .. =.=
mm......
o well... like that ba.
i rrly lost weight ne. i can feel it. o well... slowly get back into eating routine or something ba.. ... mm...... haiz......... so glad to have the gonverment money. .otehrwise.. .haiyo...
k ba... forgot waht to say .. mm..
hiaz. never get to say proper gdnight to sammy .cos bro using my lappy. but why no sound wan?? then he offline.. so i offline my phone.. but yea.. my lappy no sound wan. so weird. o well. .jst hope he's slping well ba
been cold lately ne...... but o well. imma have a gdnight slp tonight too.
rrly just need to rest man
tch. .so sianzzzzzzz =/
mm.. i duno ne. .forgot. .i think i dreamt of sammy n work again... i think so. .but couldnt really rememerb whats it al labout. dots.. why ar.. always like dreaming of.. u know. .weird right. so many times..
k ba. hope my hands will free form scars n pains........
but some pains.. could never be heal
mata

I really like his name

my stomach.. abit pain here n there =/ duno ok anot. .should be ba...
but today lunch also didnt eat much. like. .very fast full alreayd. =/ but. .well.. at least at night i stil lcan feel hunger. so ok ba right...
yea. .like bits of pain here n there ne.. maybe jsut let it be. .try to eat more.. n see how..
my schedule. .so fuck up. =( i think purposely wanna make me suffer. wth. don worry. i'l lwork til li tired . but i wont quit. wahtever ba. bloody bitch. but anwyay yea.. haiz....... not much time to rest or slp in between. .but yea.. u know. just do it. what else. =/
tell my bro about this .. he also never. ..haiz. like i said. =/ im just talking to a wall. either keep to myself, or tell a fren is much better. seriosuly. o well..
today funny. becos i always go bank. then todya no queue.. only two counters full. the rest al lavailable. then i walk in, one of the guy stand up n wave. then of course i'll have to walk to him right. he alreyad indicated me to go there. then i keep looking at my phone.. but i rrly was gonna laugh sia... my god. where got banking ppl like that wan =.=''''' so paiseh sia. then pretend i never hear them whispering duno waht shit. geez..... so weird to go there again. but well, i have to man. hope next sunday this wont happen again =.=
last night. .duno why. .suddenly miss him soooo much. duno ne. .like. .rrly wanan u know..tell him those three words. .=/ i miss him till i kept calling out his name til li fell aslp. =.='' i knw... weird right... reminded of the first time i left sydney.. on the airplane also like that. .o well. but anyway,......... mm... yea... took me quite a while befor ei slp though.. duno called out his name in my mind fo rhow long O.o.. ha. ...baka desu ne. call out also he cant feel it.. o well.......
tmr shall be a very insane day. OMG. like. ......i duno what to say man. but o well. just get this week over with ba. one of the worst one ever. yea... ...just get it done with.. haiz. seriously man.... o well... nvm ba. don wanan dwell on this liao. just wish n pray one week be over soon. i'll be dead before u know it. numb2 leggy =/
gosh.. so nice to sit down T_T omg..... just don wan to move my legs man... haiz.
oh.. my off dya, gotta settle some tax thingy. stupid password letter.. .misplace it, or thrown it. i duno. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh =( now so troublesome. haizzzzz..... cannot find T_T o well.... just hope i wont have to pay the due fee ba... huu
o well.. so much to settle. huu...
k.. mata 

Weirdo O.o

omfg. i have no idea what to do with this stupid3 tax income shit!!!!! omg.. its disgusting. sooo troublesome. sianz. gotta find out tmr ba. think its alreayd late to submit. .whatever the shit it, o well. this is it. wanan summon2, so be it. i hate wasting my time finding out such .. argh! irritating matter. wth????
..argh. whatever ba.
haiz...
anyway,....... wow. i am so dead tired. i bet i can fall aslp now. but.. ..=/ donw an.. just scared.. later slp wakey, then .m..... nah nvm.
let the time lives on for now ba.....cant describe how tired my body is .omg. i could just lay there n slp. i think. sianz... sosososo tired... =/ haiz... this coming days will be too. busy n worse. ...sighs... don wanna be reminded of it... =( ...haiz........... all for the money ba. .just think this way.. busy is beter than quiet.. right? .. keeps me going n pushing. n tears from flowing.
aw. had wanted to make bento today =( but ended up so tired..(again) n chatting with frens liek so long. then sleepy liao. dots...
n uknow. ... one thing disturbs me. it slike. .this fren.. ok. .unharm i think. .decent i guess.. then out of a sudden, talk about making love. omfg. i know. shocking isnt it. u dont talk nothing about making love to ur seldom talk fren. not especially when we aint that close either.  like. .wtf is wrong wiht him>?? shocked fo rabit theere. must he describe it? he's very very open person. but. wth? too open eh. he said he forgot. becos he talk openly with his frens. he's aussie so yea. i understand. but. .a tad too weird man.... O.O its like. i dont ever wanna meet up with someone im not close with who had this thought of making love with me. omg. thats soooooooo. i know. shocking!! O.o wth man. its weird... i don know. perhaps too open or .. i duno what he's thinking. but we're cool. but yea... i dont get it. sooo .. weird. i didnt knowwhy he had such idea man.. eew.... =/
but ya know. things are cool now. n i make it straight i answer nothign about love. n nope. im not ready to make love or whatever bloody shit about that topic. too weirddddddddddddd eewwwwwwwww . my god... i don get it man. the way he describe it sounds romantic.. but its crazy. totally. nono. gotta keep that off my mind. wtf sia....... brrrr.. freaky.
mm.. chatting with a couple of them from there... u know.. i duno.. perhaps i should reeally consider goign to 2 places. .but would love to drop by melb.. but.. i duno man... at least more frens are there. but not so safe n close with.. .so. .im a lil worried.. but i heard its easy to get around. ... but weather so hot n sucks now. even though its autumn. autumn.. hot? wow.. i was pretty shocked . o well.. .their hotness just keeps on increasing by the year... o well.......
mm... yea. crazy. o well.
aww.. guess wat. my ex manager. =') finally married to her long time beau!!!!!!!!!!!!! sobs... im so touch for her. very glad for her. she's a very awesome woman . its her husband luck to marry her home. rrly =) sobz.. together for 10yrrs plus u know.... haiz..... very nice. .so swt..... rrly wish to drop by see her one day. but.. she's everywhere sometiems even hongkong. .duno ba. hope she'll be back in sg ever again. aww... so glad. .finally married liao.. though they've been living together for years.... but yea. not that she has a status, its good =) congrats sabrina... .sobx........ =')
lucky her....
haiz. u know. now that i think of it, being pregnant is scary. frightening. n make su hurt for dasyssss before u pop out a baby. yes for daysssssssss. =( but the aftermath aint too bad. if u keep it well, u'l lgain bigger boobs, n hips. n viola!! true woman. wow. i was amazed ya know. true woman... ahh... but nah. don worry. i wont get pregnant jsut to have a fuller figure . lol. thats insane. bu yea. .not too bad eh.. hm... at least somethig to look forward to after giving birth huh. mad.
 haiz. this imcome thigny worries me.. but. .o well... =/ hoep can be settle ba. if not summon lor. what to do. haiz...
oh.. now tv comes with internet. wow .technology rrly is mad n  wild.. wow . 3D not out long ago, now internet tv. awesome tech man
mm.. duno if it becos im too tired, or skipped my dinner last night,.. i duno. i don feel quite well todya.. .=/ feel like vomit again. but im better abit now. .so .. mm .yea. oh .. hoep my bro know something abutt he income submission thingy. hope he'll be back.. feels so lonely now =/

though i have cuts over my hand,... used  to it  now. .but. .no one to kissy them well... =/ i miss that.. ..sighs....... now feel loveless. ha. o well...
oh good news. gonverment giving us more money. phewwwwwwwwwwww omg. i  am safe!!!!!! oh theres a travel fair. .huu.. but in april T_T i cnat go.. save aint enough yet. nvm. .wait for hte natas one. hoepfully n hsould be around jjuly or aug...
 haiz........ ......
so nice.. my manager brought back so many shopppings.. shoes. .necklace.. etc.. i wonder .. why couldnt i do that in sydney? so eird. like .nothig caught my eyes.. mm =.= had i said this before.? i dunno. sorry if i do. o well... jsut hard to find thigns that catches my eyes. maybe this time i shall have a better look around. i regret not buying a ring from there. =/ but nvm.. .next time... yea. n lush bag.. huu.......... i didnt notice htey have it there.. argh.. .nvm. stop thiking. soon i'll be able to shop again. but.. yea. .still have this feeling nothign much to buy from there. special one will be at opera house. mm.. wonde rif i can get there on my own.. ..but ya know. .i have to try =/
mm.... my bro's at sembawang now .i don think he's coming back home =( ..sighs..  o ell.... nvm ba........ ...just. .another lonely night to pass me by.......
..
haiz....
oh. .stomach abit pain again. that other night worse. baka desu ne.. kk.. wil ltry to eat well ba... wil ltry. no promise. .but will try... hate the wanna throw up feeling .argh
..feeling down . .sad...... =( haiz....
k ba.. jaa... mata.................. =(

CUTSSSSSSss =(((

sighs.. my fav idol got eliminated. =/ ... at hte ned of the show.. she cried... do u knw how she cried? she cried sadly.. don knw if its painfully.. but.. well.. she did cried out loud.. and.. ...it reminded me of the way i cried. ..just that. .its much worse...........

o well............. 

nvm ba. .. todya.. i didjt cry. .but. my eyes were teary in the aftnoon. .thats all... sighs. 

owe ll.. one day ba. .acheived the one week wihtuot tears blog.....

i rrly loved hinm all my heat n soul. i wanted to be faithful to him all my life. i rrly do. i jst love him all my lfie. but. ... u knwo.... perhapsy fate has it..... ... they didnt allow this to happen.. .so yea. ... o well. ..
u knwo.. at leats. .for 3 years of my life.. i can say proudly... that.. i had a man.. who loved me sooo much. he cared so much. that love.. ..its something i ever asked for. its something... i yearned for my life. its somethign EVERYONE wish to encounter in thier life. i had it once. but its aint forever. i had it for 3 years. n its alreyd been lettin go. 

i didn had any dinner today. .. .. i duno. jjst.. not important. meals.. aint important longer. . i don care about health now. i don care about anything else. .. .......... i only cared about heading towards .. the D_Rk.trust me. i will. but i wont place my life in danger. becos my mum still alive n loving me . ..... why.. why___i catn be with the person i loved most? u know why> tell me then........... i only wanna make him as th moste happiest person in life.. i only wanted to love him the most.... i wanted a future with him. .i worked so hard for that........... but becos of his parents,... we didnt have any happy ending....... i loved him with my life...... i rrly do...............
he's so important to me.. sosos important............ i wish he could've stayed..  i wish..  my life could've spend with himand no one els.e i wish i could make lov ehim only as the only one.............  i could give up on eating pork.. convert to muslim.. sighs.... o welll....................... my wishes didtn come true... is it becos... im supposed to belong to someone else?  who then? is the someone else?????/..... ....who's gona heal my heat then??.. been months now.. im still... ..my heart still splatted... into billons... pieces...  and.. who's gonna heal them?

-but i dont care what they say, im in love with you, they're trying to pull me away, BUT THEY DONT KNOW THE TRUTH.
..u know.. i'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see......... =;((((((((((( FOREVER-

my collleague.. didnt see me for a couple of months only..today.. saw me.. said that i;ve became prettier.. liek longer hair. ... etc.. why.. why????? =( why must i become prettier after i departed from him>>>??????????? =( i wanted him to see me n rememerb me as the best... .i rrly wat to... but why.. after i broke up.. then i become prettier than ever>? don get me wrong. im not proud or whatsoever.. bt... i duno. why my past aquantines say that i;ve become prettier recently? /.. if this is true. . wish i could let him see m e liek this before we brookw up =( i just wan him to see me as the best.. before im gone.. ... =(((( look at me now... 

o well.. nvm ba.. he cant see me now.. he wont. ............. anwyay, still good eh. .this complment fro pl... guys. .still looking at me. .. so irritating..

u knw hwat i hated most? ... guys.. who's alreayd attached.. still look at other girls. this guy.. his girl making payment.. from the cornder of my eyeys, i ciould tel that he;s watchign me. then after payment made, i walked aside.. then somehowm , my eyes met his. n guess what. omg. he's looking at me straight. I HATEEEEEEEEEE GUYS WHO LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS WHILE THEY;RE NEXT O HIS GF.... omg. i hate that customer bf man. =( how could he. ... 

u know. i wish i can get this type of bf, nothign but me in his eyes just me alone. h

=/ sighs.. mens..

Lost Soul

i felt like.. i've lost some weight. bt  i duno. couldve been my hallucination.. 

same. .im so tired. soso tired.. .finally soon be over. 

duno what happen to redz ne.. bro not too sure either.. hope he;s ok.. =/
well.. i shouldnt be worry about others.. should worry more abou tmyself........

o well. today.. still dislike eating. but good that i felt my hunger. 

today. so glad to seem y manager back. was doing work on internet. .suddenly someone slap my butt. i was like. who sia! then . wow. amazing. totally brand new refreshed manager back. im gadl. ..weird. .i duno why i didnt shop at all when i was in sydney. O.o'''' im starting to wodner if its rrly that boring there. O.o ... i duno. i just .. sighs. just so difficult to find something i like ba. =/ o well. bt once something caughts my eye, i'll go for it. if too exp, haiz. then too bad =/ either starve, or forget it. 

yea. .tlaking abou thtat. todya had been hoon with curry vegies only. kept looking at the $1,.30 sausage.. =( thinking. .should i buy2?? then never. its time to budget. sighs. rather budget on food. at least shopping destress me alil. veen if a lil.. is better than nothing =/ but have to keep in mind about my trip. haiz.... ...i cant wait man.. just wan to holiday in a foregin country on my own. .. new try. new start. new feeling.. =/
..hoep its good ba
then soon hungry. good thign colleague bought extra curry puf .then gib me.paiseh ne. but well, then just eat ba ....
 

was waching this sad show.. rubbing my cushion.. then suddenly. .reminded of how i sat on his laps.. turn my head, and so easily tempted to kiss him passionately....
that felt so love. love. .feelign of lvoe. .was so good n happy then. how i wish that didnt have to go away...
all love thas bene given to him. .a tleast.. he felt it. .n its not all in vain..  

o well. argh... im still failing man... =( sorry peeps. the one week of no tears celebrations still far. yea. i did said htat eh. sorr. still crying everyday. =/ baka2 desu. will wait. .one day. .that one week will coem without tears.. i hope. 

i should be happy now thta he's happy. but now then i thought of it. i didnt. O. o that sounds weird. but .. i said what? i duno. i forgot. but. yea... i duno. well. i guess its normal. its not like. .he;s happy wthen i will be hapy right.
a person who's numb alreayd.. only know how to put up a false smile laughter.. only to reveal herself alone in the night... how could such a person be happy at all .. ..
o well. perhaps i shold just place my attention in others. seek comfort in others. theres no way else i could think of right now.
perhaps to shif tit all onto other... even though it might not be real. but.. perhaps the lie should keep these masks alive for some times... 

ahh.. tired............. so wanna rest. but perhaps not tonight ba.
...sighs...... 

=(((((

i yearn to feel happy again. being sad sucks. it makes u frown. and bring it all the darkness into ya. make ya go down wrong the road man........ but waht to do. u cant control life soetimes. 

owell .just get used to this ba. 

yup

k ba. wanan just .. u know. o well

haiz. not another guy. guys who praised me befor ehtey even know me, its so .. ..irritating. 'your beautiful'. .... so? =.= oh...my...god....... i cant stand this shit man. its soo.. .. argh. my goodness..... it jst aint gonna work on me man . yea. .im so hard to get huh. .. dots. o well. and i don believe in accepting guys like that either.
that is why i said.. no muscles tone.. wearing glasses,.. geeks.. or  erm. .nicer to say.. one who study hard.. they are way better than those on the beach tan hunks.. with 6 packs or whatever shit u called them. yea. least htey wont break ur heart just liek that.. and.. well.  i believe in their personaility will shine through more than what tehir outlooks brings. but.. yea. the soul is really important.. i dont like like just the appearance.. if i do, i would've given my number to htat guy the other time.. remember? yea. hunks, models.. or whoever. ... without the soul n personaility that stands out, .. thast kind.. ..haiz. yea .they are nothing. just an empty shell. why do i want an empty shell for>? and those girls.... well.. im just glad im not one of the, .n i do not htink like them . phew. 

.. just be who i am. glad enough that i aint to be like the others.

to the one who owns me, will be special. for me to own him, i'll cherish him forever.

mata 

Geeks are cool

argh.. knew it. arm hurts now. was carrying like.. 10 or more than 10 cartons .. each caton weighs 13kg? non stop. .sure muscle tear. o wel.. .pain will be gone soon.. my finger is healing .. still pinkish n abit pain. .but least the wounds sealed up. ...if only my heart could be done so too.  o well..
a customer asked me if im a local. his gf or female fren then ask him why he ask. im glad i didnt hear that =.= i get that often. but. ...stil lweird ne. o well.from interesting ppl i get from, its ok ba. ha
ohh... had my corset liao.... cool. just need to find a chance n wear it. must think of pairing it up somehow.. .mm...... o well. though it squeezes u, but yea. go try it. u guys will know the legendary feeling of how a corset could take away ur breath. in 2 ways that is ;)
me been eating like a  mouse now. =/ used to eat so much. but recently no appetite. and after the 2 dasy starvation , my lips irritating me. the blister thats been gone for years are ba ck . years b ack, doc say its either allergic to make up of certain ingredient, or stress. the other it was allergy. this time. ha. i didnt use any new brand. of course its stress for me. what else. i felt stress n pains more than anythign else everyday. just hope will be fin esoon ba. have to keep using the lipbalm for now. .doesnt sem to work. ..o well.
ytd had abit of breads.. don feel ike eating. still cries in the backroom ..again. haiz. sianz ne.

oh. watched a group of geeks dancing. ha. not rrly dancing. just singing. talents. is good. plus points. i don get it why some girls couldnt like them. especially for htos eshows... beauty n the geeK? wahtever that is. well, one thing for sure. they are smart n talented in their own ways. plus im sure they will be more faithful than any other guys or hunks, u could find out there am i right. that should be the most lovable part about them. so yea. geeks are... abit too =/ aint nice to called them this way. i don liek this word..geek. =/ rrly don like. as though its insulting them
haiz. so tired everyday. but good ba. easier to slp at the end of day. or something. i duno. but yea. just get all tireddddddddd good.... good.... o well
mata



-his life's great. even if mine isn't, it doesn't matter. stay in ur happiness always..my loved one-

Twilight movie time alone

nearly gotten mysellf 2 cuts. another just a scratch i guess.. good that it shealing now.. stil lred and long slash it has been.
i don feel like blogging actuallu.. i rrly dont. i couldnt smile. and when  i couldnt smile, theres no laughter. theres no laughter. .im not happy.. no happiness.. everything just feels out of bound.
o well. bored anyway.
so blog abit ba.
so pisssed with cotton on company they totally sucks. guess waht. typo staffs actually tell my frens that yea their items are nice. oh u know kikki-k? we are much cheaper than them. wtf?????????????????? my frens were alreyad wanna blurt out that they are from k.  friggin shit i tell u. omg. nuts!!
so maddening. so LOW class. wth man.. australian company. runn till so suckly .i rrly thought they are good ones. but guess i was wrong. had a fren used to work with them. hows it? SUCKs. =.= o well. as expected.
...i wonder what smell a person could have. if without perfume, whats my natural body smeel like . interesting question. i wonde rif my family has them too. perhaps i shall sniff them out.
..u know. haiz. perhaps sometimes.. what u couldnt give anymore to anyone, one should just shift the focus and turn away to face others to do it.
its all nothign but lies. but sometimes. u know u cant help it. least the pains get worse. ..
ahh.. watched dl movie. been way too long since i last done that man .but u know. just watch. like.. yea. sit. open eyes watch. just .. yea. diff ways of doing thigns now . all without any smiles on.
lies..should keep me going fo r some times. just perhaps need to find someone and shift everything else onto.
oh movie. yea. .twilight. erm. . how to say.. yea. he said i could relate to it. well he was right. the story  is good at portrayingss one's pain n depression . i think she doesnt know how to acat. bella eh. omg. i just disliek the two main characters. duno why soo many girls like that who.. vampire. whatever his name is =.= yea. but uh huh. its like about 100% right on. cept that she didnt know how to cry that actress=.= o well. but yea. din see no tears on her -_- anyway... weird. i guess.. when humans suffers, they do tend to do the same thign huh. thats why even in movies.. u're surprsied to find them playing it. n u coul d be wondering. .did they actuall spied on u? ha. ...o well.
..but i could never go back to who i used to be. i could. but thats all thanks to some acting skills. its. ... so tiring to do that every day. lies.. acts.. all nothing but deceives. especially at work. tch. .today very sianz. gald im workng in mrg with my fren though. so glad. oterhwsie ,would've suffer a bad bad tuesday blue...
not good enough. those are the words. prejudice.. ringing... from the first step. its all along been prejudice. along with colour glasses of views. .tell me. how could that ever changes their mind.....
smiles.. thats a challenge for me everyday. so wish i could have some holidays now. but time aint right. somemore.. ...haiz............. ...... just aint right ba. ...

hate typos now. in sg i guess. though the ones at sydney is ok. well, they have more stuffs there . but. the staffs there also scuks. they aint about customer service. they are all about being a copy cat to other k store. frens were infuriated too. o well. .nvm them ba. i'd only stepped in once. since then, never laio
i dont dare have a good look at my self in the mirror when i couldnt even lift a spirit.
becaos i look like a total stranger to myself. sometimes i thought i was getting to his steps of how to get happier. but then. i strayed away. and i dont seem to understand no more.
so tired. .i wan to slp. i just want rest. n some peace. slp.. away to forget. only time that is truly in peace. (as lnog as i dont dream of work ba =.=)
so tired ne.
haiz. being in the dark spells no fun at all . gloomy . always. sad. duno what else to do . even if u forget. the heart doesnt lie. and u can felt thepain twitching around n around. ouch. memory loss. is perhaps wat one might wish for in this case. just by crossing the lights while its busy with cars , or lightening strike.. perhaps even a robbery to knock ur head out.
oh befor e i forget.
haiz. sad to say. i think im outta my budget for this week liao. haiz................ gotta hang on alreyad ne. no choice =/ i guess too stress. just wanna spend money that sall. next month ba. will save harder. sianz.. 3 wekes to go.. haiz.. =( o well...... waht to do.
this is weird. come to think of it. the frens i usually go to, or contact to, are usuall yfrom overseas. i think so. for local ones, i duno. just so lazy to msg ppl. though misses them heaps. still, ..yea. just scared of what replies i might get from then ba perhaps. always. .afraid of getting hurt. o well.......... but. at least one of them i can count on. no often there. but cheery as always. still.. now. .that didnt affect me anymore. the doors are close. n .. jjust u know. .its hard to find it through again.
to lock away everyting.. aint such a bad thing after all. i gues.
tch. .see. thast why dont feel like blogging. once blog. ., so many heartfelt down boo boo words came out =/ baka desu.  o well.. not like i feel any better. juist slpy than ever. =.=
k ba.. gonan go relax for abit.
....mata



-my story differs the ending from there. it's a cycle non stop without moving away from my place- 

Please slp tight everynight

and so..  geexz. letting my cut heal not .i did blog about this in aftnoon right... =.= cant rememebr.. i htink i did. o well
sighs.. was so sick just now. argh. .jut gotta forced myself to have some dinner. .then fruits.. argh....
everythign just came out in the bathroom man. ebrythgn i ate i think. so yea. jus tneed to fill myself up with energy now.
mm... very slpy. i just wanna have a good slp. nowadays.. not much mood being put into work.. .=/ o well. .how to serve customers when me myself feelign down right. ... but im doing my best to stay ok.
now im feeling aetter abit after eating n drinking. hope tmr better too. eveything wont come out. well. .treat this as a way to detox ba.
last night was at thr train. saw this guy sitting there looking at me. i thought i saw wrong. maybe just my imgination. i was on my phone mah. then when in train, then realised. oh! its redz fren. worked at same place. i mean he's working at prints. just above me. the flashy one =.= but yea.. so paiseh. luckily have my fren to chat with. otherwise awkward sia in same train n booth with him. omg.
mm..... hai. liek that ba. imma head to bed i guess.. ... i hope hell have a very good slp tonight. h eneed that so much =/ and glad lions stil lthere for him. rrly relieved. al lthe more he can be comfy with.
keep him with nice nights lions. .. ...
miss eevrything about him. but. u know. theres nothing i can do now.
..o well.. =/ may tmr be a better day. i rrly need a rest now.
will i have nice dreams this time? why am i only to be reunited with him in dreams. lalaland still exists eh.. .. o well....
haiz. .k ba. nights peeps. i hope theres plenty much for me to do tmr.
mata 

auto pops out

jeez... got a middle length cut across my finger T_T can see the red flesh line though. like grills of a fish when u moved the flesh around. eew. =.= but anway, thank god not super deep ba. i couldnt rememebr when i get that.. was it while opening up the thick card envelope? i knew i did soemthing. turning or touchign something. i think shold be the nevelope. gosh. cant believe i couldnt rememebr anything at all =.=

sigsh.. .just wanted to take a nap or rest... ..tch.. ..but once moment quiets down.. bang. =.= haiz... sometimes i wish i have some kind of a memory loss yes. it might be good to just knock my head over or something. so randomly brain just works that way.. pops up a memory that say.. before u slp just rememebr someone in this world.. .really.. ... ... o well. shouldnt complete this sentence. yea. like. .words just pops up. memories cant even be erase. but it hurt so badly.
shit. i gotta stop my tears man =(
o well... thats why i hate nights. before bed. nah i jst hate every seconds of time while im alone.
 just stress man. i dont even bother to talk about this with redz nor bro. its like talking to a wall. ends up feeling lonelier than ever =/ wel. thats just how it works. 

sighs.. o well. just wait n see ba. i cant do anythign pretty much now. already let go. so yea.
only to stop thinking thats all. just have to keep on pratice2.

only have to make sure of his happiness. then ok ba.

wonder if i;ll have any appetite for tmr anot. hopefully will feel hungry ba. must save money also. o well. .... 

oh read the news of how melb ranked so low bottom of the worse airport. omg. im having seconds thoughts now. bt sydney aint any better. ranking at 69? soemwhere. yea. but.... .for me... o..k... ba.. .twice been there. .so far. .mm.. okok.... ....not much of any big probs... then.. yea. gosh. didnt know melb so bad ne. to think i thought their country should be alrite. 

haiz k ba. just look forward to this coming weekend.
..u think imma be able to to destress for the week? ..i hope so man.. =/
sighs....... being happy for that one second felt kinda good. but i forgot now. -_- dots.....
think i was just excited to see the item thats all. o well. nvm that ba. anyway that sec only gone. 

mm... yea. k ba.
i dont have to report every sginle details of what im doing here. so. .well, heres just a brief for u guys aites. 

mm.. tc peeps.....
and hold onto ur love ones.

mata