08 April 2011

CUTSSSSSSss =(((

sighs.. my fav idol got eliminated. =/ ... at hte ned of the show.. she cried... do u knw how she cried? she cried sadly.. don knw if its painfully.. but.. well.. she did cried out loud.. and.. ...it reminded me of the way i cried. ..just that. .its much worse...........
o well............. 
nvm ba. .. todya.. i didjt cry. .but. my eyes were teary in the aftnoon. .thats all... sighs. 
owe ll.. one day ba. .acheived the one week wihtuot tears blog.....
i rrly loved hinm all my heat n soul. i wanted to be faithful to him all my life. i rrly do. i jst love him all my lfie. but. ... u knwo.... perhapsy fate has it..... ... they didnt allow this to happen.. .so yea. ... o well. ..
u knwo.. at leats. .for 3 years of my life.. i can say proudly... that.. i had a man.. who loved me sooo much. he cared so much. that love.. ..its something i ever asked for. its something... i yearned for my life. its somethign EVERYONE wish to encounter in thier life. i had it once. but its aint forever. i had it for 3 years. n its alreyd been lettin go. 
i didn had any dinner today. .. .. i duno. jjst.. not important. meals.. aint important longer. . i don care about health now. i don care about anything else. .. .......... i only cared about heading towards .. the D_Rk.trust me. i will. but i wont place my life in danger. becos my mum still alive n loving me . ..... why.. why___i catn be with the person i loved most? u know why> tell me then........... i only wanna make him as th moste happiest person in life.. i only wanted to love him the most.... i wanted a future with him. .i worked so hard for that........... but becos of his parents,... we didnt have any happy ending....... i loved him with my life...... i rrly do...............
he's so important to me.. sosos important............ i wish he could've stayed..  i wish..  my life could've spend with himand no one els.e i wish i could make lov ehim only as the only one.............  i could give up on eating pork.. convert to muslim.. sighs.... o welll....................... my wishes didtn come true... is it becos... im supposed to belong to someone else?  who then? is the someone else?????/..... ....who's gona heal my heat then??.. been months now.. im still... ..my heart still splatted... into billons... pieces...  and.. who's gonna heal them?

-but i dont care what they say, im in love with you, they're trying to pull me away, BUT THEY DONT KNOW THE TRUTH.
..u know.. i'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see......... =;((((((((((( FOREVER-
my collleague.. didnt see me for a couple of months only..today.. saw me.. said that i;ve became prettier.. liek longer hair. ... etc.. why.. why????? =( why must i become prettier after i departed from him>>>??????????? =( i wanted him to see me n rememerb me as the best... .i rrly wat to... but why.. after i broke up.. then i become prettier than ever>? don get me wrong. im not proud or whatsoever.. bt... i duno. why my past aquantines say that i;ve become prettier recently? /.. if this is true. . wish i could let him see m e liek this before we brookw up =( i just wan him to see me as the best.. before im gone.. ... =(((( look at me now... 
o well.. nvm ba.. he cant see me now.. he wont. ............. anwyay, still good eh. .this complment fro pl... guys. .still looking at me. .. so irritating..
u knw hwat i hated most? ... guys.. who's alreayd attached.. still look at other girls. this guy.. his girl making payment.. from the cornder of my eyeys, i ciould tel that he;s watchign me. then after payment made, i walked aside.. then somehowm , my eyes met his. n guess what. omg. he's looking at me straight. I HATEEEEEEEEEE GUYS WHO LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS WHILE THEY;RE NEXT O HIS GF.... omg. i hate that customer bf man. =( how could he. ... 
u know. i wish i can get this type of bf, nothign but me in his eyes just me alone. h
=/ sighs.. mens..

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