new relaxing drink

mm.. thanks to a work call.. ruined my day.. seems lke misunderstandings always occured. .yet they say don assume. dunno ba

anyway, im still in the middle of nowhere. .yet i ned to keep updating my rgm abt the visa. wonder if i shld rrly get an agent. where to find, how much. .etc.. sighs. i dunno where to begin at all =(
i need help

anyway, was so stressed abt the morning call, makes me more unhappier. .couldnt bring myself to smile at all for the day. it is a gloomy day
thoguth i would try this gabalite? hope i spelled correctly .its a daytime drink relazer. drank once fo rthe night before.

it was ok at first.. not bad.. i calmed down abit.. then.. few hrs passed, boom. whoa. is that little thing power anot. to think it says it May casued drowsines. what May. its it Will. its like.. body shutdown
? body weaken.. erm.. like being drunk man.
slowly bit by bit.. it consumed u. but then again its my first tiem drinking this stuff. furthemore, i slpt at 3am .. so yea. perhaps that may be the reason why im so drowsy.
anyway, this thang forces u to slp man. (maybe due to me slpt late and not enuff rest..dunno)
totally knockout. its just liek shutting down ur senses.. forcing u to slp.
tot of drinking it before work.. but.. mm.. not sure if i shld now. anywya bought two more for backups. cos been stressed out so much for few weekks alrdy =/
and i still.. couldnt feel any better =/
dunno whats wrong with me.
sighs
but yea will definitely try that drink again. though the drowsy drunk feeling ..the urge to hit ur head back down to bed..rly aint a very nice feeling =.=

wow . so nice . that youtuber apartment. at bondi rememebr?
it was smaller than i though. but simple enough. bedroom, kitchen and living room all in one.. bathroom.. very simple. narrow, but good enough.
bedroom only consits of bed and closet. dresser table in living roomtoo. behind dinner table. just a good enough apartment for everything.
i think its awesome.
best part is to decorate ur own house ha.
its nice to have the freedom like that.
do waht u want. .no need care abt what ppl think
start all over again.
how nice...

still tired though.. and slpy abit ba.
mm.. shld i slp now i wonder

sighs. sad day eh.
though i tried hard. .to make time for myself.. yet still.. perhaps work stuff is rrly getting into my life and head. so much worries.
plus the visa thing.
even he tea cant help me much now

thinking if i shld take the risk of drinking gabalite at work.. mmm..........
shall see how ba
at one point. .so slpy ..body shuttign down.. need to sit.. talking to mum abt getting guinea pig food. .ended up keep saying dog food. no wonder mum was like huh>? whta dog food.
gosh i din realsied. guess i was dazing ard too much.

felt as thoughi might jsut faint or slp by the road if i din get home fast enuff ha.

trying to breathe..
how to make my days better and happier again ne?
find it so difficult to smile.
yet need to smile at work

apity couldnt apply visa on time ..sept visa application fee gonna rise liao. yup. by sept. haiz. too bad for me ow ell
k ba. wish me luck
hopefully this down mode will go away soon

oh yea! recalled what i'd wanted to blog abt. so theres a few blogges right. i dont read them at all. but somehow u jsut came across their page from news by yahoo or fb.. etc
theres this girl .shes pretty swt looking. married liao ha. i was like..wow. so nice.pretty , rich and famous ar.
but i was no fan of such peraosn anyway. just thinkngoh shes lucky ne.
then recently read.. oh chey......... she undergone surgery. no wonder shes pretty. at first i rrl thought shes so lucky, borned rich and pretty. ha. owell.. .i shoudlv eknown. with money, ppl will change their face and body. shes not natural after all. after that, i was like .ok. dang. i shoudlnt even had think she's 'real 'ya know.
and besides her, alot of bloggers all does the same thing .go under the knife and change their apperance
scary ne. imagine one day their eyes nose or skin falls apart. . gosh. o well. anyway their rich, they will spend their money to do anything. influence more girls to do the same as them huh=/ hmm.. o well. up to ppl ba.

jaa mata

loving

v late liao. just a quick blog ba

kept forgetting what ot oblog.. though it felt like its gota do with bro.. mm

forgot. nothing too serious though ba

i still rememerbed.. watching tv at sammys place. he say miley cyrus sure when hit 18, will grow up to be typical teenaager star.. getin gall messed up. that time i thought rrly?? cos i found her to be down to earth adn all... but he's right. she did turn out the way all htose young stars uknow.. crazy and all 
gosh .too bad i guess. 

mm.. waht else. 

so slpy

mm.. wonder if love can make one happy forever huh..  sammy say hopefully one day.. can give me al lthe love i nid. cos i asked for hte rest of my life haha. XD

but yea. .the girl to get it will be the luckiest girl ever. 

...ok. stop thinking. 

head abit not good liao. too slpy.

mm.. 5yrs and half gone jsut like that.. always feel so bless to've met him..my darling. 

just another day at wor.. long day

dunno what to do for tmr.. mm..=/ bored.. as always

haiz

gosh rrly cant rememebr what i'd wanted to blog. .abt bro or what. =.=

kk maybve next time ba

mata

down down wed =/

headache now.. need slp.. been so slpy ne..

=.=

sighs..
u know how i feel..
o well

anyway .. halfway getting ready i got spooked otu a lilttle.
hairs standing. just a feel ba. notin too seriius. but yea.. just an uneasy feeling ba

weird

oh great. suddenly my primary school mate contacted me. ahh... yea. my fren did say maybe can help with the visa. not like help help. but.. u know help me ask ard kinda help?
o well. better than stucked here and duno what to do next. as long as theres a certain bit of help or hope, its gd enough

so slpy.

don think gonn await for sammys msg alrdy like alst night. wait till nothing at all
till night

o well.
me better go eat med eh. eyes closing soon

sighs. hopefully tmr will be a good day

luckily today passed not too slow

mata

feeling down

ha. seems liek now i have the habit of listening to boas disturbance whenever i type blog.

gosh i feel terrible =(
sighs... feel so down and sad..
i dunnno what happened either.
its like every ounce of happiness jsut depleted off form me
=/

haiz.. .oh yea. so scary. heard rgm talked about his cat suddenly so fierce cos it seen a ghost.
hey wait ive blogged abt this eh
O.o

o well.

ah.. finally this third time .. lavender earl grey tea.. taste so much better now. wit the right amount of sweetness yet not too sweet.
i needed soemthing like lavender i guess... to relax abit. though i dunno how much thats gonna help.. but at least.. o well

soemthigns aint right with me i think. =/
its liek i cant smile at all. i just wanna be alone and keep quiet..
still feeling stress and sad .. feel like crying ..
its terrible. .extremely terrible =( ..
sighs.

u know .. it was so nice to sit at teadot cough. .drinking a cuppa nice tea.. reading book... it was a ver short while. yet so nice..
imagine if i have a small area like that... ha. probably i wont be onling all day long liao.
will jsut sit in comfort.. reading.. sipping away my tea along with my comfy kusy couch.
how nice

sighs.
rrly dunno whats wrong..
ever have that feeling where u cant feel any ounce of happiness in you> ?
i think i'd probably had this before. before i met sammy.
sighs.. wish this seventh month thign to be over soon..

cant wait to slow down my life alittle

mm.. could it be me?.. how come always felt better when drinking this tea.. lavender or me?
o well. dunno. at least tiny bit of better is better than jus tnow..
mm.. should try camomile necxt time eh. heard its good to relax one's mind too

am i all too stressed out or what
or too much happned , or too little time to make myself happY>?
i dunno what

o well..

everyday is a battle.

mm..
dunno what to say..

oh the other day had this customer. this lady.. bought so many thign. spend so much. from malaysia i think. she say her bf is from far away. i aked her long distance isit. she nods her head. ha. well.. nowadays alot of ppl does that ba.
so.. yea. .guess im not that surprised anymore.. even the v famous youtuber also. yea.. ppl always say their match make in heaven cos her bf is a model. french i think .v handsome
thats what ppl always says. ha

anyway..........
lvoe know sno boundaries ba

i miss him.
if only this visa thing can go through successfully
ahh.. changed to another boa's song now. sad one. ha.

k ba..

gotta stop brooding about it

slpy day its bene. cos slpt late last night.

jaa.. mata..

may i smiel again.. soon

struggling moments

whoa. bro was saying why keep having hte rotting smell in kitchen. then i was lije.. hey rememebr the movie in conjuring? 

i thought he farted u know. but i dunno how many times it occured already. but its only for a short passing moment. to be honestm.. its seventh month. .anything can happen... .but dang it. he souldnt ve said it out loud jus tnow =/ 

be it supernatural or what,.......
i have enough probs in my hand so yea. 

i don care

gosh. dreamt of cute puppies. dunn owhy redz is in there arghhh =.= 

but yea.. bro brought home . three. naw... so real. really thought they're mine. 

then wakey, gosh. all those happy feelings are gone. =( 

sianz. 

at least i was happy for that moment 

haiz .

still feeling listelss.. and thiknig alot.. stress. feelign down. very negative.. like i can cry anytime.. am i being depressed i wonder

depression maybe? maybe jsut sterssed out ba

lighten up abit after a bottle of tea. bought it as i neede a perk me up drink 

nice to company sammy till he slp 

anywya, yea.. still unsure of u know. where im heading

dunno how the visa is gonna work its way

everyday im struggling to stay positive at work .

its difficult to u know. and its difficult to talk about

so unhealthy to keep it 

need more soothing tea ba. at least its caffine didnt kill me as much as coffee does

coughed more today. more than ytd. its starting to get to my throat now. hoep i'll reemebr to take med later

hav a feelign tmr might be worse. 

nose stil lsticky as ever

eew

so nice. this youtube lady get to move from perth to syd , stay at bondi apartment. 20yrs old i think. haha so rich eh. 

but what i envy most is her apartment. gosh. so nice. imagien u get ur own furniture, everythign nice and clean. start from scratch. nice kitchen.. everythign clean. u can have ur own set of plates, tbale chairs rugs, table. .spacious.. 

sooooo niceeeeeeeeeeee

thats what i'll have wanted too ba

soemtimes the most simplest thing in life.. cant be achieved without money. 

i don liek that kind of thiking though. cos money ..financial issue. .it kills ppl ya know. 

it kills them inside out. slowly. 

its terrible. 

anway,.. such talk.. 

erm. yea. hopefully... 

haiz.. i'll feel better ba

both pyscially and emtionally 

i think the last time i truly felt happiness and smile sincerely from inside out, was during the time with sammy eh. 

i can feel that i am losing my glow now. the inner glow that shines when u smile. that glow im talking about.. 

i feel like im struggling so hard.. its so difficult to stay on the line. .

haiz. o well

if only this visa thign can be a miracle. say oh settle in a few weeks time. gosh. i'll be the happiest girl for year 2013. 

its a great tiem for em to start anew, learn new fresh thigns, get away from this boring life, thats making me suffocating every single seconds... 

and most of all ,he's tehre. 

so yea. 

if only huh.. 

oh man. gottta rush through my library books. deadlin in two days! 

mata

very sad day

a very bad day for me indeed..

sick to the stomach. .threw up twice.
cried.
feeling terrible right now

hold back my tear for as long as i can.. doing hte same as i can.. smile .. serve customers.. talk.. stay strong i tell myself  at least till after work.

blah3.. the colleague i thought of being really good at working, .. had some misunderstanding of things about me and ppl..
it shocked me. besides rgm and sm shocked me, this colleguae did too.

the thngs i did. .the effort i put in.. im sincere.. im true.. i dont pretend.. im not even being fake.. etc..
but yet..
thigns happened

im scared .. by humans. its like .can u imagine doing notthing wonrg, or doing the best u can.. for hte best or ppl u should.
then out of nowhere, ppl tell u.. oh you're actially making them feel bad.. etc

its like.. what?

i thought of like ..say.. sammy suddenly telling me one day oh i dont love him enough.
its liek that bamg. get it?
like. what? u love that person so much, spend ur every sec, and tiem making an effort to love a perosn, thinking of him all the time.. etc..... then all those for a line of  oh u dont love me enough?

get what im trying to say?
its liek. relaly a big shock.
all thsoe efforts.. love , time that u spend on. .making sure he's being llove.. then end up he gave u aline of oh i hate u , cos u don love me,
how absurd is that?

thats just the exp btw. but thats what im trying to say about this colleague of mine
disappointment ..

and my sm and rgm.. htigns that they said.. i thought of asking hem on the spot.
why they say and teach differently . say a then b now.
but i was too shcoked to handlde everyhitng. i couldnt say it all
'
gosh stomach growling now cos threw up all my dinner =/ o well.
wanna eat bu t later right awy slpo liao. unhealthy. haiz... hungry =(

anyway yea.. .

of all feelign, this is one of the worst oen .. being misunderstood.. especiallly after youve put in so much effort.
making it work.

kinda like.. .how when i first met sammsy family huh...
i was still very shy back then though..

anyway forget it .gonnam ake me more sad only

if canot take it i'd better eat soemhting. rrly too hungry. huu =( ... nah better not. later must slp right away. not healthy. plus brush teeth again. gosh. k. gonna tahan. gosg, extemrely hungry =(((((((9

so yea. still vey upset.. things they said.. balh3. .im rying to digest it all before i know whats going on

after work.. no msg form sammy. gues she's slping still ro soemtheing
though yea. .would rather be him.. but better than no one, at least one of my fren asked me for me day i think .cant rememebr , .at elast can let out abit first.

im not able to speak out the details here nor msg sammy unless im talking to him ya know.
cos its long and detaill... and imma be cryign for sure .
so yea its difficult.

still sad .but i gotta work on.

will i be putting up another strong fdace tmr? i dunno. most  likely. ... k. will do my best.. see how.
im so tired liao...
tmr when free nid to fin out mreo abiot hte aussie hting vida i mean

jaa mata

customers at work

haha. i knew boa will be a natural born great actress.

anwya, huu stomach not feeling good.

today wokey for work.. didnt feel well eyt. throat still.. losing my voice.. but yea. no choice byut to work..
nose still not very gd.
but yea...
glad the day is over.
now v late liao. im supposed to be aslp by now. bro played dvd mah.
but its ncie to do soemthign diff rather than home eat and slp =/
my life is alrdy robotic enough ya know

mm.. wonder whats wrong with my stomach. .

anywya, worked alot today. alot of thigns i wanna do..

me still thinking about certain life issue..
still trying to get around it. .
o well

anyway, just a quick blog ba. will slp soon

have i ever write this down before..?

that the other time, there was this girl. maybe in her early 20s?
she was like .. she kept lookingat me. its liek payment over. i packed her stuff.. i looked down then up at her.. and she as like staring at me intensely. i think i emntioned before isnt it?? cant remmeber
just that i wonder what happened back then.
she find me pretty ar? LOl. or im very familiar?
or what?
very weirdi tell u
her look is liek yea.. i was like.. huH? es? shes like. smile2.. shakes her head..
dunno la.
o well

mm.. wonder if i can slp with my stomahc liek this

oh yea. two days back?
served this guy with a aussie accent i think.
my collegaue was like. .she smile at him he nvr approach her leh. but he approach me.
isnt that normaL ?its liek. .if he's looking for something, wanna look on his own, of course wouldnt wanna talk to anyone mah. then the moment he couldnt fin dit, or he decided to cut to the chase asnd ask for help, he'll find someone the hnearest to him right>?  maybe im just there at hte righ ttime ba.
my colleague funny la. haha.
i tried to avoid serving himm, but hbought quite a numebr of stuff. i nid sales. .=/ so yea. no choice but to do cashiering for him. he actually signed up for member. wow. din expect him to do that. liek straight away just say yes. O.o

shoot .late liao. guess imma slp with wet hair

mata!

extremely sick day

am extremely sick today.. lay in my bed and couldnt get up....
rrly... cant take it. just glad me oftoday.

btu.. i cant afford to mc tmr..
due to certain reason, and besides, tmr alot ofstocks to do also.
alot of work to do.
all the more i gotta be there

i wish i'll feel better tmr than todayh tahts all .
if i feel better, at least  i could do my best to tahan till the day is over.
im not confident abt it. but i;ll do whatever i can

im jsut .. totally not comfortabkle right now.

u know me. i hate to see doctor.. i dislike it. i dislike spending money on it
i know .. i must go. but i wont. baka me.. but yea.. this is the decision ive come to.

just so sick..
my taste.. all gone. i cant taste antyhing. not even poorrisdege now ice cream soda drink.  ppl once tol dme ice cream soda will help. long store.. but u know whazt. it did. kinda did abit there...
but.. still i feel weak and restless

i don feel gd

im starcing. .mum buying food... im.. jsut so.. hungry right now..

cant smiel cant talk cant nothing.

tmr.. i msut do my best even if i outta pretend to be fine

-mata

sickk and..

sick like what today.. . terrible.
words can even describe.

hopefully tmr will get better eh.
nowadasy body just so weak.
appetite sometimes gd sometimes not.
up and down.. irregular time eating.. geez.

mm.. thinking about some small thigns happened.. but nah. don think im blogging it down '

o well
think i talked too much persoanl life here always
to ppl also.. sometimes just wanna share. btu i guess osmetimes its good to keep it short and no need to talk about it ba. ppl also do that isnt it.
well, some ppl didnt even know tha they're doing it
ahh.. just take it im spouting nonsense here ba..

cant think straight. just feel like i need to stay in bed.
but sometimes i get angry and frustrated, and i wouldnt wanna obey
instead of doin the right thing, headed for the bad thing

starting too feel so tired of everything.
dunnno whats the next sttep

ha. still cried whilst watching the stitch. hes such a lovable character eh. cant help falling in love huh.
so cute. adn the way he talk. .ha. that voice and expression. kawaii ne.

so touching. yea. .jsut cant help but to shed tears for this movie once again..
nice movie indeed

did something diff tonight.
but still didnt feel that much happier. maybe cos i was too sick
sighs
=/

oh ok. so my fren broke up with his gf. was like ..ok.. ratehr he din tell me.
then now its like he's single, and i cant meet them up liao. awkward.
then cannot meet liao.
o well

panaldo aint helping at all
thinking of taking another med before i slp.

tired liao.
body gonna burst .
scared fever is coming. better slp then

gdnight

jaa mata

my turn to be sick

im sick.
was it cos im feeling rather depressive lately? was so this morning. espoecially after this dream of me working vividly.. =/
gosh...

stayed back after work to cover up for a sick staff.
wasnt felin too well myself either.
now worse.
im rrly sick.
throat dry and sore.. no matter how much waster i drank, still the same. now runny nose. if only tmr off.
sighs

just tahan ba... oen more day to get though

slpy n nid to rest my head now.
rrly nid rest.

haiz.. .gotta stop thiking baout work n life.
dunno ba. maybe sammys right. i do nid to go out and enjoy. but honestly i have no idea how or when.
enjoy needs money too u know /=/
and energy

tch.. k ba. better don think about these..
the more i try hard to stay happy, the harder it gets toem

gonna rest my sick body now

mata

passion

haiz,... sianz day.

think sm son is havinf fever. can tell shes different today. its difficult eh sometiems when u hav family n work to tc of at the same time..

amyway,
haiz... sianz day indeed..

was talking with my colleague about the quote i mentioned the other day.
even she can tell my eyes lit up when i was talking where my passion belong .
it just seems not.. here anymore. .ervyday doing the same.. more n more work.. higher expectations.. dunno when the new store opening. .if soon how nice. if not haiz.. dunno how lon gto endure this ever the same cycle. =/
i do like the products im selling.. but its this enviroment.. i duno man. .i dont feel happy =/
its fun sometiems workking with nice colleagues. .but its so competitive.. and its so..
forget it.

thiking abiout al lthese is making me feeling down=/
sighs
i still think i would love to wortk at brasnthings. haha .ultimate fav place to work at.
i think XD
haiz.
o well

its cold tonight

today busy as ever. crowded.. crazy working ard..

tch.. hopefully tmr will cheer up

mata =(

singing note =)

ok. thers soemthign important i nid to typoe here tonight but i forgot=.=

anway

dang. i hit that note. 

i rrly did. but. dang. i cant remember... 

tat note ive been wishing i could do so.. but i did it tonight.bu t. ..then i forgot =/ 

...dang it. 

wth............... 

omg.................

that note... man.. im talking about singing.. i was singing it widely out alot.. iwhtout any restrint.. 

cos i din knwo bro was liek soemhwer outside(paiseh) but yea.. i did. i sang. it.i hit it.. 

if only i could go backk... 

i was so relax.. naturally ,i hit that note. didfficult to explain here. .but yea.. oh man..

anyway, 

.. haiz

din know i have that in me.. 

not saying im superior k.. but jsut glad i could do it.. oh an..

i could only do it when im comfortabel and in total relax mode huh=/.... 

haiz..

see hw ba

so slpy.

wanna slp but dun wann..a

had anice tea with mum today.. plus walk2 ard.. quite relaxing. 

kk gtg. 

pratice more on my singing

mata

nice quote

just a quick blog here. very late liao.

was feeling knida down after a call form sm ,.
=/
so yea.. anyway so busy as always.. tired now.
glad sammy cheer up my night .. though yea. .betetr than nothing. at least it happened.

long story ba.. guess she jus tpop question out of nowehere. soemtimes shes fine, sometimes she decided to ask for details. me also dunno how things shld go about.

o well.

anywya, i hope hte visa im searchign on is correct. as there are so many types.

so tired.

mm.. duno what esle to type. hope tmr i wont be bored out. dunn owhat to do tmr..

oh read this today.. from somewhere.. its australia T2 founder.( if T2 is in sg, me and bro wouldve been a fan)
''if you get up in the morning and you go to work for money, resign and get a job doing something you love and believe in.''
i wa slike. wow. but yea. who dunno that. i mean well some dont. but i do. but to read it liek in this way, from somebody like that, its like. .yea....
but.. well.. soemtimes u cant have everything liek that. ppl need money to live on. it depends.
everyone has different situations.. if only thigns were that ismple. .


jaa mata

slpy day n night

sm was like in the store room whole day again.
as always. dunno she was talking alot.. here n there. .wonder whats it all about O.o hmm..

today get to msg sammy pretty much. uh huh.
me likey =)

so slpy when i wokey today .
so busy as always. btu not enough manpower cos sm in the store room not outside on shop floor so yea.
like .we got so much hardwork to do

haiz

anyway
so ful now. jsut now sooo hungry . ate alot me. haha
boring. bro playing shwo me no like=.=
argh

so full.. dunn ocan slp anot zlter=/

luckily nvr wakey at 4am last night .woke up at 218 am though. im v thirsty. huu at work so busy no tmime drink water .- =/
haiz. later drin ktoomuch must get up go toilet again. .dread it

mm soemthing i wanna blog tonight but i duno what..
nvm ba. next time. cos rather full and slpy

mata

the conjuring

today eccited to watch movie. to quenh my thirst for horrors before insidious 2 is out. but i find that insidious is scarier ne. conjuring is nice and eciting. love the fact that it didnt take long for the actions to start. as u know.. any movies that didnt give me the waiting in action opening long part is a plus.
so yea. its ncie. but still i expected MOre. rrly . so i guess it was alright to me. it wasnt that scary at all, it was fine. ok. nice movie . but not liek wow so scary.

but haha. i dreamt of me in conjuring .. all those doors opening slowly and creaking... haha .

hated the fact that i kept waking up at 4am to pee. i treid not to drinktoo much water tonight .i hate to wake up in middle of night. scary huuu =( hate the dark remember?
so eya.


though rested alot of but still tired.

mm.. guess imma slp early?

sianz. bought famous amos cookies those sell in ntuc type. not nice. 7.50 somemore=( wasted my money. even bro also say not nice. huuuu
cheated of my money.

kk gtg. abit tired n slpy to blog.

mata

i tried speaking up for their bf

mm... well. how should i say this without offening the guys..

so my frens.. females. .
were saying hw their bf.. blah3..

one is.. too much concern about son

another,  care too muchabout himself ,thus neglecting gf

another,  told him to book a date with her early so she can take leave ealrier,
but didnt so end up  yea.. .she has another plan alrdy.
he asked to late.

(short introductions)

me rrly tried to defend their bf in all three cases. but... to no avail =/

i was trying my best.. .say maybe this maybe that.. standing on their ground.. from their persepcitve.. then.. yea... when they explainec. , i realised that i have nothing to say no more =/
indeed.. the girls aint to blame entirelly.

imagine.....

a groupe gathering meet up.. u ignored ur gf... cos buxy etx... so shes awkward cos she no frens talk well with
then.. keepingthinking of urself.. taking for granted ur gf shld agree with u always.
told him to ask u out earlier, then nvr do so.
in army somemore. less time to meet up ne.
anyway
care abt ur son how much he will liek the clothes instead of focusing on u... etc...

=/
i tried.. but when they told me the reason, i couldnt help the guys out... sighs
its true. i dunno if anything is wrong with them .but perhaps htey din realise??
liek my fren. so angry with her bf that she decided tio go for movie with a new fren who she knew like her and want her to be her bf.

this is ho w ppl snatch ur gf .

sighs

it slike. ..

as though they're takin gthings for granted.
=/

i wanna help them.. but.. its liek theres no excuse for the guys.. thus i cant say anything to help them out.
of course i dun wan my frens to go with other new guys meaning break up la
=/ sighs

even sammy also. so busy till msg me once every hour
..even when im off.
nvr even reply my msg.. =/ sighs. .o well.

ppl too busy will forget their love one huh
haiz. to think i even wakey my ees up time to time to seek for  areply..
...
o well..

so yea..  =. haiz.tried to speak up for htem.. but.. rrly cannot cos after what they told me

today theres customers mistook me for japanese i think.... type next time......

mata =/
\... only here im saying... i found out a big secret...... sort of... though i wish its aint true

not our fault k =.=

mm.. did i forget to blog abt somethign again..i wonde.r..

anwya, ytd me and my colleague kena scold and shouted at for nothing
i kindly told sm if she need to change the timing of the shifts due to some work that needed to be done. she called. .say this say that.. argue till like im in the wrong. like me and my colleague dunno what we're talking about. like only she know what shes talking about confidently

we didnt have the chance to talk to her she just kept shouting over the phone. like dunno la. maybe she supset at that point of time? BUt. cannot shout at the team liek that no matter what mah =.=
kindly wanna tell her, she blah3... then end up called again with her voice back to the normal ver. say she just saw the email. .say ppl nvr tell her in details.
i was like. .what ? =.=
she didnt apologise. nope /
just laughed it off.
say nicely ok let them come in earlier. .
at least say sorry , mistook the whole thing. .sorry to raise her voice. .but nope. she didnt .
even if rgm or sm must apologise if in the wrong mah.
haiz...
anyway, dun care ba. as long as i know im not the one at fault, neither is my colleague. thas all it matters. dunno she'll feel bad or paiseh, but yea, its all up to her ba

that aside. good thing past two days not too bad. time passes fast enough .probably due to nice staffs working ba
haiz .

oh my fren is right. shes night to encourage me. eve n if worst case scenerio i need to save lots of money, at least the opportunity is still there. i just need lotsof time to save more for it
tru ela.. but.. .o well. just cant wait to get out of the store sometimes.
exp look at what happened ytd.
somemore we are the ones rrly doing alot of hardwork.
long story ba

so nice to slp in today. raining.. .cold.. in bed..
tonight gonna try slp early. though as u know. i might lay in bed till late ha.
see how. but cant wait to rest ba.
thought was gonna be a very boring day u know=(
bu luckily got nice tv due toraya mah.
so yea. from 2pm al lhe way till 745pm.
luckily. if not i'll be bored ot death. =( sad.
so yea. thank goodness for the tv to accompany me through the day.

haiz.. wish i could feel the energy and hype of going to work again ..

jaa mata

bad bf?

gosh been so busy super crowded these days due to pho.

anyway, starting to get tire.. mm.. my off day next week.. dunno  sm will call me back to shop aniot
...=/ o well. see how ba.
just sometimes hate the fact that exp if im doing fast, then they do slow. especially u know who la..
but.. o well... dunno la. now that i think of it. .dunno why work till liek that in the past
=/

so cold

anyway, forgot to mention ytd.
so my fren and her bf.. dunno la. shes ocmpalining about him. she ask nid help anot help him paint house. he say no later his mum say what3... then end up his mum called her asked why nvr join in to help with the painting..

then always not free to meet here. still can say join fren for midnight movie.
duno how true or accurate is it.. but if its true, .. then yea. stuopid sia .i know her bf too la.
jsut dun understand u know.

she say he doesnt seem to realised he made mistakes.
she didnt rrly msg him , thhen he msg back abit more asking her day or what.. but yea. liek din realised what he'd done.

at least try make an effort to meet her for midnight movie instead, or pick her up..
which girl will be happy when hear they meeting frens instead when previous time keep saying he's too busy to meet up(with her)
dunno la. thats what she said.. details i also duno but i understand. if im her, i'll be upset too
can guys rrly get so insensitive till... that kind of stage?
O.o like... =.= yea...
gosh. dunno la.
im not a guy. dunno how they work.

jaa mata

how to act 'normal'

keep on repeatig boas disturbance...again n again... guess its a ncie soothing song to listen to whislt i typoe in the night eh.. trying to relax... though its a sad song ha.

last night went to bed feeling abit not right. weird.
then thought of seventh month alrdy. hungry ghost ,month . somemore i always hear ppl say if one is feeling down and out, the thing get attracted to u more. u know  what thing right .
so yea. its a undescriable feeling. anyway, so for just in case situation, me prayed for a little. not rrly a proper pray. cos u know. i dunno such religious praying thing.
soyea... then.. somehow i felt better..then slp. coincidence or not , doesnt matter.
as long as im safe. thing or not thing, its ok. yea. its over now.
but yea. ytd was rrly down..
haiz

anyway, soooo glad today time passed so fast. yay. plus my fav colleague is working so yea. better.
unlike that mon. omg .. .the time... bloody slow like nvr before. 15mins like half an hour. 20 mins like an hour.. omg. brrrr

anyway,
guess nothing much i can do about the visa now ba.
just waiting for a reply from them .hopefully fast= /

luskily.. phew... thank goodness the guy aint here fo rme. but im still not letting my guards down. he came back two days later wat.
so yea.
better be safe than sorry. dang.. freaking me out a lil

lol. this swedish customer, well, he's handsome la i would say. like.. very cool guy. even my colleague say he dont dare look u in the eye. like. .he dont dare to speak with u. probably he's swedish? anyway whislt waiting for his fren, he leaned against the window opster thinking its a wall(lots of ppl kena that and fall into our window thus crashing it =.= grrrr) baka ppl. anyway, he almost did. then i saw him. his face remained so cool like no expression .. then he hurried walked out of the store. LOL.
soon he reamined at the door entrance cos his fren still looking around . hahaha. omg. next time, i must learned this. remain like nothing ever happened.. .walk away fast .must not have the slightest hint of shockness on my face.
act cool.
hahaha
 thats teh funiest one ever.
cos usually ppl will be shocked, or apologise u know. or laugh about it. but he didnt apologise. =.= geez.
maybe only his fren know eng, but he dont ba? dunno
not my prob anwyay
its just a funny expression i think . hahaz

anyway, yea.
gonna hit the sack soon.
sighs. i wonder if i can ever get through this everyday ever the same siautation.
im gettig sick n tired of it =/

awesome. bought hte items ive been wanting to get .luckily i had a voucher form tangs due to my perfonance =)
hopefully they'll ocntinue giving away vouchers like this. and not form my own company.

mata

sad day again

received a shocking news when my colleague told me of another colleague had the same female stalker. same situation.. etc.. whoa
freaky or waht. how dare she prey on my company girls =.=
insane or what. nid to warn all colleagues liao

anywya, another yet to be settle. rememebr this guy came in the other day?
sat i think. yup sat.
well. ytd he was here again. thank god i was off!!!
but officially yes i am kinda freaked out now. its like. .not knowing when he will arrive. its.. omg. sighs... please la............ =(
scaring me ne.
which part of him cant tell no means no?
what. must i reject him a second time or what.
its like. ..gosh. i cant stand it man.
=/
that constant fear of him coming back. dunno how many excuses i can come up with either.
dunno what he wan also =/
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
frustrating to the maz =(
i'll be scared out of my wits for sure.
dont tell me he's one of those guys who will not ever give up O.O crap. i wish not!!!
tch.... sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
=(
what he want ne... huu
creepy.
sadly nobody to defend me tmr. hoping please of all days tmr he will not arrive.. huuuu

mmm.. nice to hear from gm kind reply..
but certain issue u know.. its beyond my control. not like im from some rich family mah.
money could be the main issue ba.
though i tried my best to avoid the disappointment. .yet. cant help but cry about it. =(
i couldnt share this with anyone. not even my family .onl y few know. so yea..
actually i rrly wish to leave before xmas. if i can. but i nid to save up. .so i have a feeling its pretty impossible. =/
but rrly. how i wish to leave before xmas here
if in desperate case, dunno can bank loan anot. though sm always advice otherwise.

sighs.
trying to focus on being happy .. but seems so hard.
=/
good thign happened.. i received a voucher for tangs. yay. so yea.
cos being the toop three perfomer.
uh huh.
think i'll get something from nars ba
but not v sure what yet. mm

not in a gd mood.. in a foul sad down mood... last thin i wan is to see that man again.
its ognna be busy these days. so yea.
maybe if its busy maybe he wont dare do anything ba.
sianz.. .why always kena these guys

wanted to slp early. but perhaps not feeling well ytd.. rested some alrdy.. so end up at night diffcult in slping.
tonight shld be easy?
though last night i had alot of things on my mind.. making me sad and cant go to bed =/
will it be the same for tonight eh

ive always wanted to go there.. now that its coming true.. semes liek it might be taken away from me.. so near yet so far..
honestly. i don know what i need to do .
wha ti want to do. if this didnt work out.
i don know whats my goal ne..
the moment i though of that, ..yea. tats it.
dampening my mood only. ha

tired.. so tired. .lifes back to the same as it was
need shopping therapy
but.. must control.
guess im starting to shop once im stress huh. but after shop stress more .
so yea. sold be fine ba. still in control eh

mm.. k ba
maybe i should try to get an early night. forget al lthese problems
forget everytign for a few hours
mm

jaa na

worst listless day

wow. four hours in bed. so weak. mustve ate something wrong ytd.
gosh. bloody sick
still so tired... cant wait to slp again
whole day slp slp slp

anyway,
terrible day. not happy abot it at all =(
huuu
sianz

listless is the perfect word to describe me now ba

mm.. guess tmr gonan talk abit with rgm abiout the visa thingy. too mafan. ha. i know la. nothing i seasy duh. so its expected. jsut that. .so many types. .work visa holiday is max of a year.. only=.=
then duno.. got emplioyer also..
so many types. even if i go throuhg again, i also dunno what im doing. so yea .hopefully someone can help me out on this ba.
maybe check with my fren who went over.. .but .. thats for uni purpose ne. haha. o well...... se ehow ba. wish me luck.

so sianz.. miss the feeling of feeling good and happy.
there alwas comes a time when i'll forget all about it. cos of everyday stresses and probs.
sighs.
so tired out
something must be not right somehow eh

haiz. k ba.
gonna rest on later .
sucks to feel this way =/

boring day

mata

unhappy just yet

whoa... no time to blog. nothing much anyway. just that....

the other day.. gosh. that guy who asked me out for lucnh is back in my store. i was about to head outta store for toilet.. .luckily i haven take off my apron. if not later he also head out how?
anyway, good thing i acted fast.. i pretend to speak with staff in the backroom.... then asked her to notify me only whne he's gone. geez.. scary .
what is he doing here agaiN?
ive rejected him.. its like.. .its either he's one of those courageous guy, or he's  a crazy man .
i bet he's not from sg due to his accent. if sg guy, if he's not insance, he would've given up alrdy right?
anwyay i dunno.
even my colleague told me that he seems weird. like.. again like the other time, jsut took a pen and casually asked wahst the price when she approached him. =./=
so weird...
but yea. htat freaked me otut man

sianz. isnt that feelign so frustaring.g like. .u slpt late, then ur partner slp early.. when u nnid to slp early, ur partner slp late. =.=
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
what to do.
im trying hard to ignore it.
so irritating.
almost 4am now. by the time im done with this blog, its gonna be 4 plus....
long sory

sighs.. so... it so actually. .for me to do the visa thing.. if im working overseas. but

... too many diff typoes... i dunno which oen to cliuc k on=(
sianz. the momnent i jsut clicked on the website , the vidas... clicked on the diff types of visas...., i kne wit. thats it .i cant do this. i nid info from my sm or rgm. maybe they can hgelp me out.

the thought of quitting here and ging there seems frightening.. however.... yea.. i nid to make sacrifices.. nothing is free. nothign is easy in life. cept fo rthose rich ppl. so yup

mm.. dunno na.
=/
like i'd said.. as much as i'd wanted to go there and do my best.. etc. but..
money and visa will be the biggest issue.. parents still can u know. .maybe talk them through.. but... yea. thos ehigns i cant contorl pretyt much.
if rrly this time cannot make it, guess ill have to awit for naother time

so tired sometimes

recently i had this feelign again.. i dunno hwat im doing in ligfe.. i dunno what i want.. i know i wanna be next to him but when im not, i rrly dunno what to do here.
so yea.. i am not happy still
sadly to sa huh=/
yea.
sighs

just dunno what im doing.. wha ti want.. whats tehre fo rme to happy about . sure. htere'll be certain positive things and all.. but
sadly, i cant force myself to think this way
like all the tie ya know.
it hits me hard on days i work till tired slpy and sianz
liek. .i dunno hwat am i doing here anywmopre
why am i here. .what am i supposed to do here..
whats my life purpose?????????????
i have no idea
=/
sighs

sometime sjus tso sick and tired of evertying
this work trip thigny isx a new fresh start fo rme i think.
will be great if i can go.. but yea.. liek i'd said. .im not sure if money and visa will work oiut fine fo rme anot
sm asked me enquiry if hey hav fulltiemasm there.. even if  its far.. dunno ba

i need some changes.. cant take this anymore.. like a prison of my own.. i need soemthing else to get me out of this situation = / so sick and tired......
sighs

oh yea. read this news abou t this 17yrs old girl. helped a pregnant lady. only to get herself abused rape and killed. wth right.
but if u se eany pregnant lady, even if shes acting, it'll be hard to even think that way isnt it.
its like.. most kind ppl will jsut help the lady.. but yea .. true. she shouldneve drink tat drugged drink.. however, skali the husband force himslef on her also possible mah

so yea.
sometimes when help ppl also must be careful. but so sianz isn it. each ime u try to help ppl.. u will think ... is she fake. i shouldnt do htis.. etc......
its either cruel to others, or cruel to urself. yea. u may be cruel to others, but who knwos. u might save urse life.
if u kiind to others, yea. u might just end up like that girl .
even me ne.. if htin kback.. i will do the same thing. just that i might not drink tht drink. but like id said. who knwos. skali kena pulled into the house by her husband,,, then yea. die lor.

haiz. humans huh.. and ur own fate...
thats why pl say.. life isdifficult.

..no wonder pl will take their own life
..
cant blame them.. maybe sometiems no one is there to care for them enoghh..

sianz.after wakey must read finish my book asap =.;=
yea. .not been reading fast enough ha.

so slpy not.. finally.
just now was so tired till wnna yawan, also yawn halfway only .. caoulndt yanw full way

so tired and slpy ne. 730 am work..

anyway. yup. officially 4am now. by the time i hit the sack, online fom my phone etc... should be either 5am or 4 plus ba

blog so long huh..

gues sive not been feeling happy ba
hopefully will change for the better..
sigsh

jaa mata

like healthy meal

mm.. and so... today very very very tired and slpy. when i slpt past 11, i know liao.
wow .was like. .dunno wanan wakey ..wanna lay in bed all day
so tired n slpy.somemore ytd sick
so tired till cant go out to anywhere. so stayed a thoem n tidy up.

heh so proud of myself having a healthy lunch today. went ntuc get coffee, then clear my room. ^^ ahh...
yea. wanna slp but cant rrly slp. rea dbook snack .. dinner. .simple day. if only i could prepare my dinner more..
wanna eat heathily like this. but difficult la. cos mum will worried, then say later i hungry..etc...
=.=
so yea. me cant rrly get to eat that healthy ya know waht i mean. thast why soemtimes its nice if i hav the freedom to be away .
o well.. nothings perfect in life. theres alwas pros n cons ba.
had wanted to get soem healthy greens jus tnow. but. .o well. no chance to eat that anyway.
later they worried and say i buy fo ru la.. keep saying n saying=.= sianz.
used to it. so yea.
tch. jsut soemtims ya know. sick o f eating the outside food. jsut wanna make my pown.

mm.. me ahven  emil rgm yet regarding my questions..
haiyo.... sianz ne.
though i have the questiosn alrdy i think.. but.. o well

so slpy .
kk. gonna look forward to my lalaland alrdy

mata

no shopping too much

dunno ive mentioned this before anot. but last week or so, me went to forever new again.
saw this beautiful spring looking flora looking dress. so femine and swt.. can wear for casual going out on a date, or even at night dinner.. pretty elegant. jsut a swt flowy dress. v cut.  but it cost a bombbbbbbbbbb $199.90!! sayy whatttt
i think au its 149
but its abit sexy too. jsut very girly feminine style. =) very nice. like as though it fits the bodys curves. jsu tnicely. i nvr try but i can foretell. haha. just maybe its that kidn of a dress.

then tues i went to bugis, saw this rrly swt cute dress. rrly tempted. but i stopped myself. 89.90.
if samm is here, i would've bought it liao. but if i buy such dress, dunno how many tiems i'll even wear. plus its not cheap. so i brain washed myself into not buying.  it was hard at first. but then yea.. decided to give up. u know me. love at first sight item me usually will buy. but o f course not buy too exp thigns ne.

anyway,
though rrly like it, and its hard for em to come across clothes i like, its better that i don buy cos not cheap either. and usually me always in shorts n casual wear adn im hanging out with my parents most. soyea. even with frens, my frens also wear casual type. they are not the very fake type of girls ba. more of casual type. so yea. cant expect them dress so normal, then i dress up so nicely. i feel bad la. like abit weir dtoo.
anyway, yea. no sammy here, waer so pretty also liek pointless.XD haha.
what to do. o well.

ha. so nice to meet asm of sydney one of the stor ethere.. shes like me lol. she didnt revealed herself. luckily i approacehd her. haha. maybe she wanna do the mystery shopper thing like me eh.
XD but yea. the best part is when u revealed urself. hehehe.

anyway, had suc h a terrible running nose =( my head is heavy. .eyes wanna close. .today wokey rrly tired n slpy. though slpt for 8 hrs. huu,. =(
maybe still not enough rest eh.
o well

anyway, i fonly can be with sammy nearer all the time.. then no nid spend money on hotel , can save the money for  nicer clothes and doll myself up eh. haha. cos soemtimes tot of like. .200 can spend on a night's hotel ne... haha .
might as well save it.

gosh i nid to slp n rest soon. cant believe after med me still not well =/

gosh. so rgm had wanted to chip infor my bday voucher. but sm forgo ti think>??
 she didnt tell him. nor did she tell me.
luckiy i foudn out form rgm.
imagine i didnt thank him. then he thought how coem im rude. imagine she didnt tell him , and say no nid pay back. wouldnt he think oh shes nice to say that?
i dunno la. but i thought she shouldve told either one of us. but yea..
so funny. rgm say no wonder my sm kept pushing away his money when he ask how much must he pay.

hope everythign will go well. be it whichever outcome it is...
in the end, i still hope to be with him.

sm say that rgm things that its not worth me going there for sammy cos he didnt think its worth it for a man who cant make up his mind and say whrthre he wanna be with me anot.. as in he dint know anythign mah. so he's just thinkign that kind of way ya know. so yea.  thats why maybe he say why i stil lwanna go syd (that itme hokiday) not worth it to look for him ..a man who doesnt appreciate me.. take me for granted..
he say thigns liek that ,but he didnt know the situatuion mah .. so yea. mayeb he's jsut concerned.
duno la. true anot. but i can tell he dint talk much gd thign about going over. more of negative thigns. but yea i understand whats he trying to say la. concerns and all..

kk gtg rest ,dying liao. huu

mata