ahh... its a lil boring today.. but.. with the companies of bro and redz,.. yeah.. things are better.. =/ kinda.
sometimes still feels really left out... :(
..
i don know what i am in this family.
hm....... oh.. now i confirmed one matter.. hahaha... when me really hungry(in bad mood), feeling down, in deep thoughts, or sad, me cant walk on the streets.. cos if i do, someone bump into me, i'll go nasty. lol!!
yeah it happened again ytd!! XD!
hahaha.. but this philipino woman really bumped me hard!! then me so hungry.. me went' tch!!!' loud abit bah :P hahaha.. then she apologize. lol
but very rude ne.. me really dont like rude things like these. but.. what to do.. its auto reflex! haiz.. like theres a evil ego me there.. so frightening. im trying to change.. erm.. somehow.. haiyo. auto thigny difficult to control ne.. =/ but me dislike rudeness to the core. really hate it. that swhy dislike cursing. but still, lol.. cos of my frens, i started at it too. haiz.................. dread it. well, can control this one. so no prob. ;) still me :)
..have u ever doubt say...... ppl.. whom u care.. ... hmm...... =/
nothing actually.. sometimes i just wonder how much can the extent or limit a person's concern can go.
sometimes.. life.. busyness, blinded us.. from seeing whats the truth behind. we couldnt notice.. we couldnt see.. we never realise. ..so..blinded.. dont we all need some quiet time altogether, to settle down, and see what have we been negleting or missing out.
hmm............. sometimes i question myself.. whats there to doubt.
oh.. u know.. i really dont wish to go back to those months.. now that i think back, its very scary... i was always crying after he left.. i couldnt eat well.. everynight i was crying too.. a meal a day, or none.. always feeling so upset.
its pathetic. cos its like.. well, a part of u being taken away, and.. its really so hard to adapt back to ur old life again. its like happiness being snatched away from u.
it was so painful..
it took me monthssss before i realised how to stop all these.
well, lets just say the method works abit, but not the best method around =/ but i gotta do it.
i dont wanan end up like that again
hm.. sometimes i think heading out beats better than staying at home. i dunno.. something isnt in the right place. its confusing me.
huu.. so tired..
:( so sad.. really wish to give sammy a call now. its just a mere 10mins! he's off to slp.. then me.. o well.. =/
i guess its gonna be like that.. another thing for me to get used to. we cant expect to chat everyday. there'll always be some silence at bounds.
hm.. k.. think me.. slp later bah.. =/
mata
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