Terrible, Horrible

its a very lazy day today.... =(
sigh.. its horrible!! terrible!!!
right since from the beginning!! omg..
its always like that.. when theres nothing happen.. nothing will. for a period of time. then when it happens, everything all at one shot comes to u. bang3!
gosh.. couldnt take it. =/

i didnt have any nightmares for long time.. kinda..i think. then last night, and today's nap,.. gosh.. all shooting out to me. the nap's one is hm.. =/ bad.. but not that bad as those in the night. sigh.....................

its soo darning irritating. it just woke me up. didnt have the mood to slp anymore. :(
then i just recalled. something i couldnt even figure out whats that. the reason why i recalled only now is because it was soo short! and that night i presume that it was Real. it felt so real.. i think i even rememebr opening my eyes. O.O omg.
then now i think,.. no it cant be.

i had this very very real feeling of someone brushing my hair from my front to the back.. twice. i thought i open my eyes..(i used the word 'thought' cos i dun wanna be sure) then think to myself.. gotta tell sam that someone is strocking my hair like how he always do to me.. or i thought i even felt it was him.. or thinking it was him. i felt happy then. .cos it felt like him. so i went back to slp happily and comfortably. it felt so nice. cos it's strocking so gently at my hair..

so.. in the late evening which is now,.. i just remembered the whole thing. and its abit freaky to me.. sigh.. :( i don wanna head for bed tonight :(

in anycase, its been a horrible2 day. :(
i just wanna slack at home don wanna go anywhere.
even my fren who's feeling down, asked me out. but i declined. =/ dont care. today just wanna stay home.

sigh.. tch feeling terrible now..
perhaps im thirsty? i dunno..
whole day feel sooo sleepy. just wanns keep slping.

=/hm.. o well....... ........

nah.. i guess as long as the hair thing dream or whatevr that is, dont appear again, i'll be fine.
and no more nightmares. argh..

hm.. come to think of it... i wonder whats the problem with sam's msn and mine. why couldnt i receive his. maybe my fren's right. yahoo is better. i dunno.
anyway i wonder if thats been happening ever since he's gone. if so,... then wouldnt i... be that one for nothing??? O.O -_-.................. im so gonna kill this thing one day. grrr......

hm.. even my body not feeling well.. thats why extra bad day today. :(
last thing i need, is my fren calling me darlin outta the blue in frenster -_- arghhhh
why cant ppl be more considerate. tch. what to do. the ppl here think otherwise. im ok. but. just don wan sammy get the wrong idea. =(

sigh...
do u think its gonna be another 12 hours before i head for bed?.. hm.. or perhaps.. i;ll have a movie marathon tonight. oh yes... hm...
ha.. sound so pathetic eh=/ ? alone watching.. o well....
but.. yeah. .good idea. never try that out before.. maybe i shall .but... :( only wishing sammy is here.... .. but then again, alot of movies he wont watch. ha
cos my bro's dvd.. haiyo.. haha... not my taste either :P

=/hm...
i just need to learn to let go of some=/ hm... how to say ar.. i dunno.. some issues?
its bad for life to continue like this.. =/
hm.. .somemore... =. =sigh.. talking to my bro ar.. like a stranger now..
its really depressing.
yeah i know.. i have sammy.. but sometimes life is so tough..
u gotta need something to hang on to sometimes..

need alot of love... alot of care...
hm.. o well... yeah.. understanding..

hm.... gosh.. i dont think i have any appetite for any dinner :(
...

which reminds me.. haiyo!! my bro's hone. should;ve cook today!!:( but.. yeah.. not much in a good health to cook anyway..

aw.. thats so Sweet of him to send a miss u and love u msg outta the blue :P cute :)

mata

-the dream freaks me out. it felt so real. As though its real. I dunno-