gosh.. i couldnt belive it.. remember that time i mentioned working with this 16yrs old innocent looking girl who deos everything? smoke.. club.. drinks.. whatever. u name it, she tried it.
well, i thought she's a really nice ok girl. but i couldnt've been far more further from the truth.
from izuan's side, i heard she said things like this of what i taught her on her first day of work.
theres customets around. zuan and manager talking. she's standing at the counter. zuan say why u never serve customers? she say ' pauline say dont have to serve. just stand behind the counter will do.'' OMG. i swear i never said those words ever!!! zuan then say to her u think this is 7-11 ar?? go serve them.
omg........ this girl.. typical chinese ah lian. i was sooooooooooooo utterly wrong about her!!!! what a argh!!!!! gosh!!! her looks are soooooooooooooo deceiving!!! i swear.. ppl's look can be sooooooooooooo deceiving. be it the person is innocent looking, cutest girl ever, sweetest beautiful girl ever, if the heart like that, omg... i dunno what to say. i pity her bf for having such a girl. geez!!!!
Looks CAN be deceiving. good thing i dont liek ppl cos of looks. but becos of personality. gosh.... cant belive this girl!! so maddening. good thing me no longer working there. yeah.. she knows.. thats why dare to push the blame to me!! argh!
dunno care la..
anyway the ppl i trust, i dont wanan say how many, nor who, but its certainly can count with just only one hand. thats all.
no matter how nice a fren is to u, how long u;ve been together, i dont trust those relationships. espicially when.. hm.. its really difficult to explain. u gotta go with ur intuition to tell u right or wrong. some ppl are 'blind'. they cant tell, and ended up hurting tehmself with the word trust.
well,.. lets just say... most humans wouldnt care less if they chooses somethign they want or need over ur frenship.
oh... last night.. was talking halfway.. then.. ha.. sam ask me to shut up. i dislike those words. really. come to think of it.., its kinda funny. cos i paused there.. eyes and mouth open.. wondering was that a dream? what did i just heard??? i ponder there for a couple of good secs man. ha.. then i was like.. quiet. cos he ask me to shut up.
but i understand he didnt mean it at all. NOT at all. so i dont blame him or upset at him.. just feels.. yeah.. kidna sad cos those words coming from him..to me.
he thought i was gonna talk some dirty freaky stuffs.. but i was talking halfway.. and actually wanna talk about how afraid i was of the darkness to crept into the kitchen. not becos of those scary thingys... so yup.. it was the Darkness i was trying to say.. but he thought... ..o well... yeah i wont put it to heart.. he didnt mean it. time to time our words tend to get out at the wrong time, or just simpkly used the wrong words to describe how we felt. so yup..
but.. wow... remember last night i talked about how i can guess whats he trying to say by the judge of his tones? well... ..i dunno if its the same thing about him...
..its like.. he can actually tell over the phone whether im crying or not. and.. .. i dunno.. i dont think its that obvious/?.. i dunno.. i was taken aback i have to say. never see that coming.
i didnt think he would know it so well.. but then again yeah.. ... i;ve always been with him. .cry in front of him so much some more. ..ha..
...
...hmm............ what would i do without...........
yeah.. i know his temper well.
hm... u know... im really upset that i cant be there for him as in person when he's having such bad days.. :( and his birthday.. i cant attend.. i've always felt so bad..... yeah.. really... u have no idea how i wish i could celebrate this special day with him.. plus valentine's day too..
well..
he told me he had a very bad day.. of course i dont feel good too.. i know how he and his family thingy going on.. and.. yeah.. its difficult for him to explain..(yeah.. in the end he couldnt say it out..) so.. yeah.. its ok.. i dont force him.. since he couldn't.. let it be.. if one day he ever feels like saying, he will... if i keep asking,.. it'll only make him focus more on the bad day. and i dont want that. i want him to smile over the phone, and be happy. happy, then forget bad day.
then focus when i make him smile.
i feel closer to him each time he shares with me stuffs like that. i dont mind. good, bad, unhappy, anger, even if lashes out at me, sadness.. .yeah.. i think this kind of feelings from him,.. through him,.. then letting me know through his consent,.. i think thats important.. yeah.. i really do feel closer and closer.. though already close..
well, one can never get too close. we'll always have new doors open for us.. to see each other, and get in touch with. and only more and more happier things will come along.
yeah.. i wish for nothing but better days ahead for him...
he sad.. me sad too... but.. well.. it seems like.. his side there aint getting better since little.. and well...
... i wish i could help him lots....
im doing what i can.. keeping his smiles alive everyday..
Making sure he get every bits of happiness from me.
ha.. asked sam a funny question today. so random!! XD what are his fav drinks i asked :P hahaha... i just wanna make sure my guess is right. as im quite confident. XD sooo random eh?? hohohoho... :PXD
ah.. early morning wakey.. gosh.. then end up waiting.. -_-
met raz up and izuan too. we gib izuan his pressy. then eat at fish and co.
then head to p.p. finally found what i wanted. hm.. then head to meet bro and redz up. they ended up late too. -_-
why my life seems to revolved around waiting for ppl?????
then yeah.. we walk aroound a new mall. 313 somerset. hm.......... okok.. alot of same shops.. but theres this special restaurant i had my eyes on ;)
its called 'flying chillies'
thai restaurant. almost get ot eat there.. but cos of prok meat in one or more of the dishes, we cant go. cos redz's there.
hm.. then we head to ps. gosh. .long walk..
then me go into this shop.. soon after, bro came in and say that redz went back first.
then.. me sense something;s wrong.. then indeed im right. .redz say he not in a good mood.. say he going back first.. =/
hm... i think he got family issues.. maybe his dad again.. =/
but yeah.. feel kinda bad for him too.. =/ it ruined his day.. haiz........
so.. well.. i hope he gets better soon.
and i mosttttt certainly wish that sam will feel happy soon.. its been bad days for him.. nad me dont want that.. :(
just glad im able to tlak to him for hours again. he smile alot. :) u have no idea how sweet and cute that is ^^ haha.
his cheeky look also. XD hahaha....
ahem :P
well.. night time he heading out.. =/ so.. hm.. well.. dunno.. see how my day gonna be like...
wanna be at home when he's home.. he's out,. .also doesnt feel like staying back.=/
sianz.
hm............
k then.. will see whats my plan for tmr.. =/
mata ne.
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