The Past That Matters

..omg.. i just realised im taking something really bad... cos haven eat!! me empty stomach! then took... ... yeah oh well.

i'll just be mentioning abit about today. cos certain things dun bother to type it out. or... i should?.. .. .. i dunno man.. .. he never msg me till like so long? then never tell me he's coming.. then im like.. ... haiz.. dunno man.. .. then he never come cos me never reply back. ...-_- but he never even say wanna come! thats why i tell him.. ..if he really wanna come, he would've really come already. ..when he msg me not coming,... it only left me thinking how bad i am..to miss out on seeing him. even for a few mins.. every secs counts.. .. really2 counts... .. our time.. ...we don have much already... *cry...

..k.. today feel so much anger in me.. nothing much to kick ard.. so.. spin some cards racket.. kick abit.. poke abit.. and yup. thats my bad evening. oh no. actually from the aftnoon i knew something wasnt right. i dunno. i just don feel right. wanted to take abit of dinner today. but blah3... end up no mood to eat anymore. wanna know what i've eaten the whole day? erm.. lets see... at ard 2plus.. a bowl of wanton noodles. thats it. was talking to adilah..late evening.. sudden felt this sharp in my stomach. twice. but cant be bother. a meal a day wont kill me. then.. lets see.. mum justa sked if if i'd taken my dinner. i felt guilty.. i look at the floor and say yes softly. i cant look into her eyes.. sure she's gonna see through im telling a lie..

ironically... i was looking at my alc bottle last night.. thinking so long since i touch it. and well, i get to touch it tonight.

...sianz.... so sianz.... ....

.....and so this happen.. ...thought i could get a chance to joke him about it.. .. not say joke.. but.. ... oh well. ..so.. he said i could just go ahead and look it through. and so...i decided ok...just do it then.. and....... ..lets just say the results i found wasnt expected. it come across as shocking abit.. surprise.. and.... ... wondering if that actally matters to me. ...i wanna find the answer of how i feel inside of me.i wanna know should i be bother by this. ...perhaps... within days i should be able to let it rest. ..hopefully.... ..i wish.

....

erm.. oh.. why am i talking so much here.. ..

ok.. so.. one interesting thing happen. not say interesting.. theres this customer ask me for the cd im playing.. cos he wanna find out the song name of this music we're playing. i say cant. cos thats a burned cd. from my colleague. he say he really wanna knnow. cos that music is from this.. dunno what dj... or whatever song playing in mos.. or dunno what. he say very nice. then this part.. ha. i say the song like..very hypnotizing he say yes.. you take PILLS with that song, very nice.. i look at him for one sec, then he say.. no! not asking you to do that ar! lol. left me thinking.. hm... pills huh.. ..-_- geez...

oh.. that day, sales was sooo bad that i heard mansoor was so stress till he took 6 pills -_- oh my goodness. me never ask him.. but.. wow.. seriously, this company give us nothing but stress. all of us.

...hm... ....dunno if i should eat anot.. no mood.. tired also.. .. hopefully tmr can slp till late again then wakey. ..

...sigh.................

... ... bothering day... ..

...was shocke dwhen mum remind me that today is sat. -_- so fast.. me totally caught unexected. like.. yeah.. so fast.. july is coming.. ..

...my birthday month ka....?.. .. ...sigh.. ...

chalet... its after my b'day month.. ... ...really drag going man.. ... having the thought of staying overnight there, gives me chills... -_- omg... kill me.. who wanna shares the same under one roof with the bosses for even a night?? -_- eew.. ha

...

...i think. ...i should be able to feel better soon.. just need to.. erm.. yeah.. ..find out what am i thinking about just now 'that'. .. after i figured it out,.. would be ok ne.. .. hm...

.....well.. din expect me to type so much.. ..guess.. ..i still cant resist.. .. but.. certain part been cancelled off.. dun wanna mention it.. .. drag it.. ..

...

mata.....