True Happiness =)

aw.. last night.. was looking through all the pics i took in sydney.. =) feels so nice.. so good.. ahhh.....
then like.. aw.. .. somehow just felt a lil different..
its like.. compare to about 10months ago.. i look so simple and happy. like a lil woman.. simple happy life.. i guess.. there're some stages we all have to go through huh>?
then now.. truly happy times are hard to come by..
ha.. i still feel so shy taking pics with sammy.. hm.. wait.. yea.. i think i would be XD when i see him again that is. lol.
think i;ll gushes or blush eh. lol.
o well...
but yea.. i guess those pics.. i never really realised i do look pretty.. its weird to say this.. but yea.. i think i do look kinda pretty when i lookey through pics taken with sammy together. like.. becos we;re together. .so the whole pic look nice and happy. happiness is what i'll called it. hahaha... .
uh huh... pics taken in the opening time.. shop not yet open.. in toy store.. sammy about to pluck his eyebrows off.. i mena trimmed.. then we took pic.. im sitting on his lap.. waslooking at it last night . like. .incredible feeling..
he was looking.. shy.. cam shy kinda. while i.. happy. pure joy...  yet my face saying i am comfortable and safe with him next to me. i find i look abit like him. i duno.. smile perhaps? maybe thats what they called .. erm.. couple face look? hahaha...
o well...
i just.. find it a .. lil.. hm.. sad? that i couldnt seem to feel nor look thta way as i did with him. i wish to go back..
thats the girl i want to be. thats who i am.
being a man's woman.
erm.. sounds wrong=.= lol. anyway yea..
hhm.... just.. yea.. he brings out the best in me. hte true beauty within me.. haiz.. i duno. i just don think i look the same.. nah.. rather. .feel the same when my pics are out..
it slike. somethings missing.. u will truly look happy. .when u're really with someone u love.
cute eh. ha.. o well. a lil difficult t o explain.. but yea. thats about i t..
makes no effect to smile..when he's around.... =)

gosh.. i hope tmr wont be so tired.... bro tok me and mum out to the uss night. my first time there. so explored a lil.. .it was alrite. but the fire works are spectacular.. wow....!!
throughout whole journey.. i kept thinking. .of how it would be liek if sammy is in sg.. i would take 2 days at sentosa to spend it with him. watch fireworks together..
day time will go coaster rides.. night can enjoy nightviews...
ahh.. .so nice....
hm....
still kinda worried about the hotel.. hopefully there'll still be space left.. and tickets.. weird. .i din know.. so fast ..even the price breaker alreayd sold out if im not worng. O.O this is like. .huh?? so fast>??
oh.. had dinner at 11.30pm/ am soo tired . omg. mum also eat late with us. no space to eat at uss..

oh.. whil waiting for fireworks to start, theres this kid.. i duno if hes' nuts, or.. yea.. i duno. its as though either he's u know.. thos etype of erm.. yea.. somethigns wrong with him. or becos he lack of discipline. he kept kicking me!! but its weird.. usually only when im very tired or not feeling right, i'll be rude unknowingly. like. .he kicked me.. i went 'oi!', ppl turned to look. i was like.. omg. what had i done? but it puzzles me.. i was feelign ok.. not so tired.. but.. yea.. i duno... it slike another me or sumtin.. anywya, he kicked and kiced. even kicked my mum!!!! how dare he!!! then this time i came to my senses. i dont care what ppl are thinking. i just rais emy voice.. gib him a hey!! or sumtin like that. i dun even care if ppl are watching. wth. kick real hard u know! somemore so big alreyad. still sit on stroller.. howvever.. i keep having this feeling that he's a.. u know. .those woodbridge kind of kid.. erm. .yea.. but anwayy,.. i don like ppl kicking my mum!
arhg... so rude.
then mukm have to end up at the back.. let them go front. sighs. wth...
o well.... my mum also get angry and say how could he do that... i knwo my mum. like me. usually we are peaceful angels. if we get angry over something, that something usually is something big and wrongful.
and i mean very3 wrong. thats why.. no wonder mum get angry too. me don wan her to angry.. =/ haiz.. poor mum.
but yea.. evolved huh. .or changed for hte better.. i wouldn't used to .. hm.. fight for myself.. i think ..most likely.. ytea.. after i met sam.. he taught me alot.. adn yea..

haiz.. if only.. i could be with him always.. and.. i could be his number one in everything..

oh.. suddenly.. was wondering what to do when i see sam again.. gt some plans.. but yea.. its best if we need not spend money... but.. hm.. yea.. i don care. i hitnk hwats most important is he's by my side. and we can finally have some real dates liek other couples does. hehe. =) walk and wakl.. hold hands.. sit down.. look at the crowds..
..yea... wouldnt htat be the best alreayd?. . hee ^^
i believe.. simple pleasures is hte best. .a lnog as we have one another.

today.. read a news about this couple.. who are married for 35yrs.. and they .. they are glad to have each other. just each other. money doesnt matter to them.  even when they striked lottery. that. is the type of love i yearn for.
nowadasy.. ppl are so busy with their own life.. carreers.. or even theyir own busines.. health.. or children.. they kidna. .forgot.. how dang important it is.. to have a good look at ur own patrtner.. and appreciates who he or she is(to u). this couple. .is what we called.. almost extint rare type of couples. haha... but i believen they exists. adn yea.. as long as both feel the same way of each other.. they do will be able to own such love as them. for money doesnt matter.. as long as they have each other. that is hwat true love is all about. erm.. part of. lol .true love. .mystery.. yet.. lots of amazing reasons behind it all..

ah.. my fren is saying they are offering more pay for htat job. i ended up forgetting all baout it.. and never reply! lool. so yea.. but now. .im starting too like my job better and better.. so.. .yea. i wont go to his side for now. not now. no way. i think.. higher pay doesnt mean u will get happier in life. no no.
u get more money. but everydya u'll rather be happier.
do something .. in lfie.. that'll get u to where u will be happy. not for the sake of money. or any other outside worldy things. find a job.. that will make u happy .let u feel where u are or needed. not for the sake of higher pay. well, if u cant feel happy, hten yea. head for pay. lol.
pursue happiness.. not something.. which u can buy or get..anyhow..

ouch.. m shoudler achign. oh no. i gtg. slp time!!!! hope tmr not tiredddd

ouch.. shoudler..

mata!