Worst mothers day ever

i hada rrly rough day today.

 i couldnt control my  tears... for the past couple of dyas i knew  i was sad.. i wanted to cry all out. but somehow i dunno why i couldnt.

today my off. and i dunno what triggers me. i just felt like crying.

thank god id alrdy given mum a given fro msyd as mothers day pressy.


cos today sucks. i didnt wanna communicate with anyoe. li seldom speak. no reaction etc.

i felt bad too. but im so depressed.

ending, asked mum wanna go eat tha express my treat? she declined. cos due to i know she don wan me spend money.

so we eat as per normal.

home. back at work 2nd round.
then realized. couldnt find one of my thing. i looked everywhere. so long. crying. etc. i smashed my delivery empty box in my room. i let my frustrations sadness anger all out. i neded that so badly
i need to vent my anger sadness frustrionas all out but how .

perhaps i toook this excuse... to vent it out. my mu kept knocking on my door. say she'll look for it for me.

in the end i found it. i felt stu.

but yea. end of story.

i felt abit more better now after tears flowing and smashing.

this job landed me in toruble.
im not even myself anymore.
sammy  not ard isnt helping either.

my higher rank cm say.. its always hardest for the first 2 weeks. i know.
so many yrs now. its nvr easy u know. especially for a girl.

i looked terrible. slping late. not eating drinkgin well.. etc.
even whne with my boss.
thank god he's the frenly oen

u know how i'd mentiooned even yearsss before...? im kid aliek a guy if im ard my trusted guy frens. i will be like slapping their shoulders etc. u know


i dunno . maybe im like. the way i talk or the way i handlded myslef/ like very..
i dunno what to say.

then like rob and my gm right.  i dunno, is that a common thign for men. like,

we were talking blah3, then when excited at an idea, their hands like slap my knee and arm.
i think its a guy thing.
thing is im not even close to them . thankfuly i have an brother im closed with so im ok.
if not i'll feel like whattttt. lol.
but im totally cool with it. just a bit surprised cos usually im the one who will slap my best frenarm shoulder...
or isit becos they htink im like a guy>? lol .
i dunno but so weird. especially for my gm to casually hit my arm with his back hand.

rob is... whilst we in car, we were talking abt bikes and he got excited asked me to rate the bike he's getting leter. i was like. ok.. so exicited eh haha.

but yea. im cool with them,. cos i know no weird intentions.
i think maybe i have the presense of being a u know. guy can related to presnense ? brotherlly presense? lol.
cos for my gm, im still like..
are u kidding?
XD
i didnt se ehi do that tomy cm leh.

and omg in train and he treated me lunch, i was like wth.... no topic. nervous etc....

omggggggggg

awkwardness 10000%


if my more serious ceo , its gonna be  1000000000000% awakward.

im feeling it now. omg.

so awkwardc. what if next time they come gaain. i have ot face my ceo . the stern ones =((((

im dead man.
further more im not a good talker. sighs.

anwyay.

yea thaat si tbah.

don get me wrong gat all. 1000% no doubt they are great men. no ill intentions at all.
just wanna make it clear.

how about u? if youre a guy, just met someone, will u be hand slamming them ?

if not,... maybe its me ar.. like.. .byish jokie... i dunno.

so weird.

but gd thing im not the kind of wgilr who iwll get miss ideas. =)

jaa mata