...=speechless

i feel so sad right now.. i shouldve gone to slp wiihtout saying anything… =(

he say he should go to bed so i would stop thinking. … how could that be..? didnt he know me by now?i already keep thinking how far long it is till next year.. way befor eanythig else.. even at work i aslo dream of it..
i dunno how important this is… i dunno anymore..

then nothing solved.. then he took off just like that..

but i couldnt blame him either.. maybe he couldnt understand how i really feel..

i just wanna solved the prob.. it couldve been solved. and i couldve been aslp by now. but i said somethig abt its so long. then he say don think so much. don think negative. then it upsets him. then i was like. .what??? what have i done agaiN.. excuse me? i wasnt thinking much about anything.. just the days towards one year time..
i wanna see him so much.. thats the reason why i wanna lok forward and countintg down the time till next year.. i didnt know that was wrong. i didnt know i shouldnt lok forward to it that much. and that i shouldnt have any happy hopes ahead.

i really.. shouldnt talk too much.. i shouldnt have.. otherwise. .tonight.. couldve gone abit easier..

i should learn my lesson by tonight.
i guess this would do. live my own way.
don think ahead. don lok forward.
look at now.
enjoy now.
do whatever makes me happy.
i guess i wont have to go so hard on myself anymore.

o well, k.. guess i shold slp.. tmr is a brand new day..
i should have myself being taken well care of.

mata