Back In Singapore

gosh…. i have no idea where to begin.. everyday.. so much things happened.. i’ll try my best to recalled.. and type it down.. ok.. im back to singapore already.. :( sigh………… its sooooooooooo painful….. all the way from the airport(or even before my last day) till now.. me wakey.. all the memories in sydney flooded into my head.. my heart felt pain.. it hurts so much.. dont get me wrong.. hurts as in.. im back here in singapore again.. and i cant feel sam’s warmth again.. :…( cant hug.. nor cuddle to get comfort… when the plane took off,. i keep looking out, and theres a screen in front of me showing the plane’s location. my heart hurts like mad.. i was caling salim’s name sooo many times.. calling him out loud in my heart.. calling his name… :..( i watched as the plane took off… leaving his place.. how i wish the plane had drop..

sigh…………………… then cry on the plane… … miss him soooo much.. words couldnt explain at all…. :(

ok… now my blog’s gonna get really messy. ready? oh.. if i do recall anything, i’ll mention it here again aites.

so.. what should i say.. hmm… oh.. so funny…. i actually put on 4 or 5.. i think 4 kg aFter i got back from sydney!! XD! lol. all thanks to sam.. he kept to his words.. :) bring me around.. show me the things..food..i wanna find.. fed me well.. we’re always eating.. ha.

hm… still feeling upset.. but.. those sweet memories of ours is what gonna pull me through i guess… will definitely look forward to heading there again… actualy.. was wishing to meet him up every at least once a year.. but.. sigh… theres goals.. theres home.. money is gonna be difficult to save up.. but.. u have no idea how much i wish to go there again.. sigh.. shall see how future goes then.. work hard.. but i also need to have fun. at least a big fun once a year.. which is with him.

hm… really wanted to go wildlife.. but… … o well…….. =/ haha.. next time perhaps… then theres ocean world to go.. still more thigns to do over there next time ne.. ..

ahh….. …. thinking about this.. ne.. on the map, ac tually singapore is near to sydney.. i mean.. from the way u look at it.. .. only sad part is.. i cant feel his warmth..nor give him a real hug.. =/ ..haiz.. its realy difficult.. like his fren.. a girlwho’s in the same situation.. but lucky her.. getting married soon i think. saw her engagement photo.. she’s kissing her fiance in her white gown.. while standing sideways.. omg… thats so dreamy and sweet.. and beautiful :) so happy for her. and she’s so young too.
she told me about her relationship.. its been a year since their long distance relationship. then i asked her when he’s coming back to visit her.. she say this year.. soon.. she look down on the floor when she says that.. well.. we all know its not easy. she herself said that too.. difficult.. but she added.. ‘well.. i guess if u really truly love someone, ….’ then she say something like.. hm.. it doesnt matter.. or what.. u’ll still be with that person. sort of saying u’ll still be together and in love with each other no matter where u are ya know.
she’s a really nice person.. sigh.. nice bunch of ppl there.. gonna miss them.. sigh… all the more i dont wish to leave there :( …
i miss sam alotttttttt…. :(

o well… … hm.. oh.. hotel stay… ha… bathtub.. :) yay… oh.. see.. not sure where to start now..
hm… first day.. haiyo.. very not sure of how the day went.. step by step i mean.. anyway.. its always nice the nights there.. cos walking with him mah :P hehe we had drinks at a pub.. quiet one.. we went club on sat night… its all so nice with him. even though sometimes he’s just quiet.. but still cute and charming :P i just love being with him..

and this trip really uncovers alot of my feelings.. and those deeper ones.. its like.. wow..haha.. im sooo comfortable with him.. its like.. yeah.. for sure even more comfortable wth even my family or mum.. can even go toilet together. XD haha. oops :P anyway.. yeah.. i really love him so much more than i could ever know.. :) and im so sure of that. i love him sooo much. really2 alot.. ha.. though sometimes he wants me to go his way.. or he can ignored me sometimes.. or look at me abit fiercely.. ha.. but still… i know he love me.. but most of all.. i know and im sure i love him alot. so yup.. thats what counts most.

his family is alrite.. dad’s aloof.. mum still can talk to.. bro funny.. so yup.. but i only care sam most^^ love him!!!!

hmm….. we watched first class movie :D yay! finally did that with him :) so happy. the movie theartre so nice too . :) the chair super comfy…. omg.. hten we eat the nice chips too.. very nice :) overall, its just so comfy there :) tehn can cuddle and watch together haha. :)

we’re heading to 2 years now.. i really hope future will keep on brighter.. when he was abck here…, i did ask him.. for sure dont want the girls in uni huh… of course will worry.. cos we’re apart.. theres girls there.. pretty… smart.. good(family) background.. u know… such things.. even now still worrys.. but.. well… u gotta trust trust.. like what his fren said.. its hard.. but.. well.. if u love someone.., u wont fall for others.
i place my love and trust more in him now. yeah.. more than ever…

well.. walking in those heels.. haha.. perhaps walk for too manhy days straight? not sure.. but it really is killing me… never bring slipper.. so.. in the end, bought another pair.. and end up having 2 pairs of slippers back in singapore. :)
hm……………. but well.. lemme tell ya.. its sooo pain!!!!! my feet hurts like mad with Every step i take. goshhhh.
while choosing a pair of slippers for me, sammy is so tender and yeah… *blush… cant tell ya how much i appreciate that.. he’s so sweet and caring.. and tender.. i dunno what else to say. words cant describe.
sigh.. the thoughts of wasting our years of not being with each other…. :( gosh.. that hurts alot…… sigh… why must the best thing be so difficult to… … haiz…………. the thoughts that i couldnt touch him for years.., sigh.. heart hurts so much.. if only things were different.. if only he’s in singapore… then things would be so much happier and easier.. andi wouldnt ‘ve shed so much tears in this relationship.. but still.. its tears of love i must say..
yeah.. countless of tears i’d shed.. indeed… my relationship is so different from others..but.. what to do.. i got the best man..
… hm… its like.. i felt so much closer to him now.. never expect such trip can do to me..

sigh… im gonna make a huge decision now.. gona tell him the truth.. dunno whats he gonna think… should be bad… but yeah.. i think its better tell now… :( im sad.. but.. sigh…………. lets see whats the result then.. im prepared for the worst..

gonna now.. after results will blog again..

oh all my previous blogs are in friendster blogs. check them out then.

mata