sighs. couldnt take it anymore. need to blog.
well.. =/ i cant stop crying man. this totally sucks. i hate it. totally hate3 it.
sighs... .
=(
and certainly does not wish my mum to see me in tears on this day.
not like its very special or waht. but yea. tch. i just dunno how to stop crying. ***k. sighs.... so sad. waht a sad unenjoyable day for me. =( wish i could tlak about it the other way round. sihgs.
oh, i hate it when msn causes me to lose a long unread msg. like wtf? god knows how many important msgs i missed out on. bloody shit this msn. pfft!!!
yea its him. just that have afeelign its a birthdya wish long msg or something. but yea.. all hte more i so much wish to read it... but cant now. sighs. .=( o well waht to do. perhaps al lthe more i should just stick to it and leave it eh. yea.
sighs. .haert hurts so much still. =( i dunno why am i crying so much on my birthday. fml.
heart really hurts like mad. i will do soemthign about it ba.
sighs.
guess.. i can be jsut pretending to be happy on this day. but.. god knows how sad n tragic it is.. ..
waht should i do now.
eevrythign is ruined. oh great. i just realized that i have another memorable birthdya in my life. liek. .well, for example.. one of the worst. ever. well, wait. it is the worst ever i think. yea. pathetic.
sighs.. now to figure a way to stop my tears, and head out with a fake smile on my face .
dunno how.. but im trying.
sighs. =(
sorry peeps. wish i could've blog out soemhting happier. yet... o well. what to do. i just need to let htis all out. though not all can be let out.. but at least i stil lcan blog.
and i really appreciates for al lthe birthday wishes send by frens. thogh jsut a short ones, but yea. i guess the longest ever given to me should be from him ba.
o well. birthday sucks. properly better if i never was born. ever.
i hate to live like this. seriously . such a pain in the ass.
oh, i just drank this jap brand of energy drink. honey flav. not bad. tastes better than redbull i think.
gosh. last night slept at 4am. bloody headache now.
huu....
no atter how much plans and fun.. i truly doubt fo rany instant or seconds, i
ll ever feel happy. now now... hwats the feeling of happy again?
i dunno. couldnt really recall it. even if i do, that'll linked to just another sad part of my life. i yearned for some true happiness. without any hindrance of ...pains.
=( sighs. .o well.
lets see how today wil lgo now. and tmr.. and day after tmr.. .and so on...
biorthday girl week is the same as other days. unhappy =( and more unhappiness..
sighs. i wodner where im going with my work.
and i wonder ..
oh! i should probably dl the game my fren given me. shit. but im so lazy to dl .=.= even though now i ahev the time . huu...
so troublesome. i head dl something. so complicated.
se ehow ba.
now would probably be a good tiem to play and get my friggin min doff everything.
should drink3 n drink somemore.
i hate my health too now.
who cares.
sighs. k ba.
gtg.
at least.. thsi helps eases my pains fo rabit. .and i finally stopped crying for now. but im scared . after i stop, will i cry again ? then i 'll have to come back here n blog ar. stuck in my room whole day? =X omg.
choy... hopefully not. i'll try to hold back my tears as much as i can.
thsi pain is killing me.
sighs. .rally don wanna say mata ne.. .
jsut really feel like blogging n blogging... as though im tlaking to someone.. .
of all stupid probs...
sighs. i shold get another drink ba. energy level low and sol isnt lifted at all
sighs. shit. hate it when i though tof how my 2011 birthday is such a diaster with tears and all. and stupid msn again. n stupid birday pressy wish. i don tink they're giving me a camera.. but o well .i should probably buy on my own ba. thin ki relaly want one. sighs. and guess waht. i may have to purchase tics exceeds my plan. date i mean. cos yra.
money no prob. only hte passoprt. well.. no one pushes me mah. jsut so lazy to renew. hate taking id pics. -,-
so yea. o well.. guess all my plans bene thwarted. now where to go.. how many days... go to 2 places. or just one. i wonder if i can get back without a map. wth am i saying. =.= dots.s.... map doesnt work fo rme one bit man.
wish could meet him up at melb. tch. o well. impossible thinking.
must forget must forget..
force will be good. sighs. its time to properly think of waht i wan tba.
but.. i dunno... wait. theres nothing i.. yea ntohing ne.
sighs. waht am i doing for work now>? and what am i doing for myself now?
my mum just now look at the peeps on my clsoet door. she said i look so chubby htat time.. ha .and i looked so much happier lik e without any worries at all. so carefree and yea.. in those photos 4 years ago.
well.. look at how i turn iout now.
life is cruel. i wish i could've taken better care of myself. but. truth is, i didnt . i couldnt. and i didnt want to i guess.
i know i shold .but i couldnt do it . becasue i fin dit no point to do so.
i jsut didn tknow what to do. im trying to find a way out.
sighs. hungry. but dunno wha tto eat for liunch. =(
yea. .u know. i don have the habit of eating befor ei work. be it aftnoon or morning. then that time i kjena 6pm break. no its 5? but it drag on cos of work. anway, hwne i was eating, then i relises that. hey. thats my only meal of the day.O.oi don care about such little things. i dunno. just. .yea. not good i know but. seriously... =/ i dont find it important to me at al. tiem to time i sitll forget that. ha. even at home. have early breakfast. then lunch forget . . ==.= and i thought it was only at work.
oh. i think i am the only perosn among all pl i know, who isnt psyched about wathcing harry potter. the last movie. ha .im not surprisd .cos im always different.
but yea. im trying .. jjsut out of curiosity.. i wanna see who else is the same as me.
well.. i liek the movies odn get me wrong. jsut htat. .u know .i don like happy endings. and i dun liek thigns to end. and somemore i didnt cathc the 6 th or fifth movies of harry potter. duno la. whatever. but yea. would be so interesting to find anyone who doesnt give a shit abot that movie. its good i knwo. but yea. i jsut didnt want to watch at all. all my frens wanna wath that. i was like.. oh god =.= could any one talk to me about a diff movie? i rather spend my time eating or at a bar chilling out man. seriously.
sighs. .somemore remdinede me of buying the dvd to watch through lappy with him.
but anwyay . .
mm.. yea. i hope msn can fix this prob somehore.. sighs.
waht a way to start off my day.
think i felt better a bit now. but still.. who knwos the pains im enduring.
o well..
i used to.. look forward to my bithdays. especially when i was a lil girl. btu now. thigns just gotten worse. no matter whast bene planned, or done, i couldnt feel any true excitement abou tit.
o well.
will get though this day ba.
no matter waht tiem will passed. then soon my birthdya will be over. ppl will forget but i wont. becos its with me for life now. 2011 the teary birthdya ever. totally -,-
sighs.. .liek that ba.
wish me well peeps.
im jus tso numb righ tnow. o well..
jaa mata ne. who knows. maybe i'll be back for a blog very soon huh.
still unhappy .forever unhappy..
jaa
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