21 July 2011

So what if it's my birthday

jut had the worst birthday ever. don ask me why. ...sighs.

as once again, i dunno where to start to talk with him. but yea.. really appreciates he called early. ohwever..
yea. .some thing he said. just. kinda confrims with me. and .. well.. perhaps thats how it shoulve been in the first place.

i was... wailing painfully in pain n tears... ever since i broke up with him. i dunno if htats the worst one .but yea... ... it was a terrible crying session. i wish i could erase my memory of .but i cant . i have no magic.
wonder if dad heard that. .cos he was in the livng room. .but anwyay,...

after a sleep over, i shall re-think everything again.
i knew this would happne.. but yet i coudlnt control .. but i know now. i have to .i must. and i just got to .
no matter what.
this type pf pains.. i dunno to say if its nnot worth it or not.. however, it is certainly something no body wanna ever experinice it...
and.. yea .. ...

sometimes i felt like. .for 20 over years i;ve lived in this world.. but i only truly exeperiinice less than 20 years of whats life about on this earth.
i really have no idea of what htis is al about.
but workwise, i know what im dong .but when it comes to life,.. .seriously, ... im weak at thst .

and ppl kept tellin me to tc of myself.. i tried peeps. didnt work. im used to it. and im used to work comes before my health . like. yea. whta do u expect? wtf.
sorry. not in a good mood.
birthdays are nothign but reminders of how much pains u had endured in lfie. and when u feel liek its tiome to end it all . fuc*

sory.. just pisesed off.

anwyay.. yea. .like. .that could never happen..
i dont care much abot that now. given up. now just to earnmoney and do whatever that pleases me. yea whatveer that is.
good or bad.

almost o12am now.. almost my b
day... but.. i am not happy. i am not exvited. i just felt liek.. u know .i wish this this is it. .. its time to let go. let every pain go just like that.

if onl y i have a perfec chance to.

oh last nigh was watchig this taiwan drama. oimg .cried sia. when this main character said' ifor all my life i have been taking care of other ppl.. never thiught of myself.. etc''... cos hte guy was liek telling her he's gonna protec her no matter what happen.. hten bro came in talking to me about soething. i was liek crying.. omfg... so paiseh sia!!! -_-
wel.. what to do.. i feel her.. ...tkaing casr and thinking of others always before myself. ... sighs.. i need oto forget everything .

sorry lets skip this

anwyay yea.. i think i know waht kind of guy i like now. u knwo ..when u're a stil la child, u
;ll say this and that.. prince... blah3... now, i know who and what im looking for in a guy.
but so rare. i hope .. oh no. =X i jsut twised my ankle!!!!!!!
\OUCH!!!!!! T_T
 huuuuuuuu

o well. .sighs. waht to do.

haiz...

let it be ba.

i have no idea.. wha tis going on right now.

oh! hey guys. i jsut rescalled somthing thanks to sammy.
bene wanting tho blog htis! rememebr how i said i coudlnt remember waht to blog sometimes? well this is it.

my dad after dirnkign. .we were wathcing news(i think) and he said.. duno wanna tell u somehitng anot.. nah.. better not... i pushed him saying. .go ahead and tell la. then he say, .dunno me born arelady anot that itme.. there was this sg earthquake.. . a girl who died in that earthquake has the exact same name as me. =.= i wa slike............. ....omfg. so freaking creepy!!!!!!!!!
omg! i dunno what to say really .wa slike. .goosebumps all over .glups *
but i wonder. .sg  earthqake.. long before i was born ar? thoguht that was lie couple of years bacl.

anwyay... haiz. midnight liao =/ ... ..sighs...
my birthday now.. o well. .wahtever ba

,,,./... mmm.... so yea. now i htink i still have somehing ot say.. i cant remember. .

oh that day ne. wow. so pissed off my letter was gone. in teh end? mum placed it in my paper bag. omg. sighs... why3.... keepign saing don tidy my room. .yet. .sighs. o well. .parentsd be.. but me, i will not becoe that type of mum

haiz. =/ sometimes saw a couple of customers pregnant.. tlaked about it with the,,. .was so happy and excited for them. .tehy were liek. .why are u so excited for me? i was like. .dunno. cos i am just so happy for pregnant ladies.. liek such a haopy thing. .happiness thing to happen to someone... wow. amazing.
i was literally so pysed baotu it .relaly . so glad fo rthem, . ...sighs. i could not be like them.. ...o well.. .

ok .so .. ..happy birthday to me. s opathetic like that. ha. o well.. ahtever.
soemtiems. .i coudlnt keep track any more... .

crying on my bitdahy. nono. not good. gosh. now that i thin abotu it, i cried on my every birthdays eh. since dunno when. o wlel.

sighs..........

i wish i could've pretend all better when i tlaked with him jsut now.

dam*****!!! my ankle hurts!!! i rlaly twiseted it badly eh =( ****. argh... sighs.

byw, today for hte first time in soooo long, i wen tout, doll myself up relaly... long n nice. .like. .yea. been so long since i have the mood to do that. perhaps ocs it smy big day coming? i dunno .but yea. i wa sliek. .rady to go out and have some fun. .... and yea.. ... it was greast. i liek to doll myself up and present another part of myself. yea. .tis always been to goody too shoes PL at work. i need to let my hair down too aites

sighs. .im jsut so not happy at all. ..=(
i wonder. ..if i ever will have my mr right right by my side soon..
my frens alwasy tell me go find one myself whenever i grumbled about couples. lol. yea... couples makes me angry. ha. so yea. then they'll be like ..go get one urself la.. i was like. hello / u tihnk buy lunch n dinenr ar? =.= dots.

sighs. im sorry peeps. i just .. coudlnt be happy no matter how hard i try.
tmr whoever wishes me bday, me jsut ssmile2 say thanku and let them go ba. waht to do. =/
.
why is it that. .so much to say... ...=/ yet so difficult to let it all out ..only left silence to face it all...
but wahts the use of saying either.. nothing helps now.

.. sighsf,, fml eh

he has chsoen his path n life. and. .waht am i . i ... im, not so sure. im still headinf ro teh overseas path i guess. but not eassy.. but.. for now, nothign else. theres no me. no me.. ...

all i need to do is to just earn money. and.. work. n .. thsts my lfie ba. ii dunno. so weird eh.

k ba. ned to fix my ppoor ankle =(

jaa mata

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