Those days are back

sighs.. so nice.. how i wish i could see sammy.. and spedn my tiem with him on valentines day... .=/ o well...
suddenly time seems to stop...
its running slow again.... o well..
its not good to dwell on it too mcuh.. but.. o well..

bro not coming back tonight.. good thing i still have my tv on.. ..otherwise.. if no shows, i wouldnt know what to do now...
alreayd feeling lonely and upsetting enough...

today felt better after a talk with colleguae cum fren. so yea.. at least better.. abit on how to deal with tmr. .otherwise.. yea.. i really woke up.. feleing how.. ???
somehow manager no reply msg. i have no idea hows the situation now either. ..so yea.. ..
.... o well. i'll see whwat will become of me tmr. hatred still there.. but yea..
i'll make sure im the one whos fine tmr. i duno how to make ssure actually. but yea. .ha. ...o well...

i really need lots of care and concern right now.. . but i cant feel it.. and i couldnt tell my family. cos i know how mum will nag and talk useless thingy.. then bro.. forget it.. .
then sam..  iha. i duno.
anyway he knew alreyad. so yea. just talked bait ..thats it. .better thna nothign eh..

was feeling better ytd.. but now.. not so.. =/ i udno.. nothigns been good.. the only thinkg i thought could made me happy was by seeing sam.
but thats like of course way till next year.

and hotel fee seems so expensive.. unless its stay in at some backpack. .or whasoever... yea. .. ha. .o well.. so expensive to even stay 10 nights in a hotel there..
everything comes with a high price. .but yea..

tch.. =/ wonderwhat to hold on for now.
its like.. wanna go this way not right .that way also not right.. i don feel happy. at least not right now.
even if i do, i think im happy for hte max of.. i duno.. i duno how long. but that don exceeds one week ever.
o well.. trying to find my way.. i duno how. suddenly back to the days i felt before i met sam.
its back again.
o welll.. waht can i say..

all i need could be a simple dinner treat from someone right now.. i might feel  better even for abit..
i duno what to do fo rthis weekend..
i duno what to do for most of my days..

ok.. its 10.. show starts.. ..
yea. .somehow.. abck to tv life. .ha. ..o well..

mata