Anger Management

yesterday i woke up a couple of time.. its was weird.. i keep having the same dreams even though i fall back aslp.. its short though.. i dreamt of sammy msging me.. then i'll wake up from the dream, and check my phone if its real.
then found that its not. slp again, same dream again.. ...pretty weird huh.. ..

i thought some matters had been settled..

oh.. for the traveling part.. i've decided to go for sammy's way. meanwhile i'll just try to save more money, while waiting to see what happens then. so.. well.. ..saving money shall be my goal then.. ..like that.

..wasnt feeling in the best of shape yesterday.. perhaps.. never eat much i guess?.. .. night time.. was hungry again.. feeling a little too tired and weak..
was thinking of heading to bed early. but.. decided to stay with with sammy after all.. there wont be much time online with him soon.

i felt.. as though one of my organ is gonna burst.. days.. hasn't been good lately.. there's always tears and.. it has its own moments..

have u ever met someone, and u knew right away theres something about him or her.. something.. seems so familiar.. something that might spell soulmate.. something that says.. he or she's the one.. something that says.. i'll be having my future spend with him/her for the rest of my life..
..

like i'd said many times in my blogs before.. i rarely have an anger fit. but when i do get pissed off for real, my temper is very3 bad. i will change into another person.
i think.. sammy should've seen it before.. hm.. but.. that time me only kick the drawers or something. or slam it?
anyway.. gosh.. i hope when i have another one of those fits, please not let anything precious stay around me, for i might destroy it.
oops. yea.. a day or 2 later, i found that the drawer corner part.., theres a piece of wood chipped off le. =X quite a big piece. oopsy....

so.. yea.. but good thing it happens as rare as once or twice a year. so phew..
but.. all because of my brother.. when i was young.. he's the one who causes me to be so afraid of anyone who's angry these days. sigh............. =(
i really hated that.. especially when sammy's gets frustrated, sigh.. i dunno what to do.. but.. he taught me one.. =) hug him. so.. well.. slowly bit by bit i guess... to learn..
wish i could..somehow.. 'change' it in some ways..
so yea.. it will be better.. but.. gosh.. how to.. -_-
its a yearsssss phobia kinda thing. haiz.

oh.. me blogging so early..

k ba.. perhaps at night blog again..

mata ne.