05 February 2010

Negatives Not

hmm.... =/ today.. nothing much ba... oh.. cooked a chicken meat ball dish today. turns out good. so yup.. me glad .

feeling abit irritating =/ i think.. last night never slept well at all. haiz. keep waking up, then slp.. happened so many times.

=( so bored now.. just watch tv.. and online.. online2.. ....

ne.. was thinking about the club night with sammy when i was in sydney. couldnt really remember much about the dancing part ba.. but yeah.. i guess drink too muchXD haiyo.. end up didnt get to enjoy much. still. its good. cos with the right person around.

he once kidna hurt me unintentionally when he's angry about something.. his face doesnt show it.. but i know.. then just tell him.. say if he need someone to talk to, i'll be there.. just feel free to talk to me anytime he want if he feels like it.i'll be there for him alwasy. then he reply a straight cut answer. ''no need.' that hurts alot. i dont think he realised it then. then i turn away straight. i kept quiet.. he's already upset.. if i talk about this thing, wait yeah.. too stressful. so... yea.. but i understand.. of course sometimes u wouldnt feel like wanna talk about anything when u're upset. but.. is there a no need after all?
still.. i understand.. just sometimes wonder on the negative side.. am i someone he could not talk to?.. ..
but i know he loves me alot. so. yup.. i believe that. and that should be enough said.

last night..couldnt really get to sleep.. was in my room.. feeling.. o well... cried again. see. like part of my routine already

haiz.. today.. dunno what to say.. =/
bored.. cos dunno what else to do online.. then sammy.. he's feeling too bored to talk. is it me? just.. some negative thoughts ba i guess=/ trying to shake that off. i hate that feeling=( sometimes like wanna stay positive also cannot.. =/

gosh.... im scared when the time of month is coming.. theres always this bad vibe around thats so negatives.. =( cant tell ya how much i detest that. sigh.. if met with fullmoon, all the more worse. if you ppl out there who belong to the horoscope cancer, u'll totally know what i mean. isnt it cancerians.
ahh......... hate the sensitive part.. but love the gentleness of mother like.. and kindness it sends out..

o well... =/ will stay positive.. will do.. keep reminding myself of whats important, and whats real.. i'll try to keep my head on that.

mata

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