T_T

and so....

im having a headache now. =.=
ouch

o well...
been a couplf of tough days again huh.. it seems.. hope this wont last like that other time.. ....

... ow ell.. .

sighs. feeling terrible. .
very terrbile.

pains.. doesnt seem to ease anything much. only a little. division .

sighs.

oh.. today rgm posted on web our pic. i couldnt recognize myself. i was like smiling so big. like. .huh. that doesnt look like me at all. O.o like. .so diff.
so. .cherful. .. dunno.. .perhasp sad too long. .so when see myself smiel like that. it felt surreal..

had a dream of him. and. .i woke up. .then realized it wasnt real. i thought it was u know.. but was just a dream after all. .just personal dreams.. .but.. i was sooo ohappy. its like those type of happiness.. and the smiel you;ll get when you're with your love one.
its different.. type of feeling when u laugh with your frens or family.
its all so familiar... i once had.. so.. happy...
i think i might even had smiled when i was dreaming.  good ting was in the middle of night. .don think anyone of my family saw ba.

so yea.. for that moment. .i truly felt happiness runnig in my veins and heart agani. it was.. amazing.
just for that short moment... we laughed together...
..but it hurts now that i tried to recall that feeling i had in my dream. because.. well. .that only happneed in my deram.. how can i  not be sad....

i didnt speak a word sincce reaching home. too tired. no mood. and all ba.
very quiet. .everything. ... quiet till. .lonelier.. .scarier.. .and  having worse thoughts...


sighs.. headache.. i think.. i might need to rest soon..

last night. .about 830 or 930.. started to lay in bed. .getting ready for slp. yea.. too tired out.
but ened up 12 40 or so then slp... energy abit better.. but still super tired.
been crying the whole night . tonight also ba i guess...
tired liao.. very tired.. tired for far too long .. both psycially and emtionally
..so tired of everything in my life.
...sometimes i just wonder if i could hold on any much longer... .
i guess.. im back to my ol dlife for sure now.
wonder.. if there'll be any source of light to save'  me once again huh.. ha.. .o well..

tonight. not much apetite.. ate a bit only.. thirsty... but coudlnt drink much.
hopefully tmr will get better..

bah..

gdnight peeps... may u have swtdreams.. but dont get any heartache as side effects aites.

ha ... ...
..

...jaa