25 February 2011

Pain goes on

sighs... o well... hm...
gd news.. getting letter to more pay.. bad news... feeling down as ever. .=/
,, i really hope sammy will feel better after his wonderful trip to melb...
my manager.. =( .. heading back in 3 months time.. =( sighs.. duno how work is gonna be like in future.. i hoep they'll send another sstaff form overseas to here. .but whever it is.. .well, gd luck to the stores in sg ba.
..haiz. ..  like.. wanna say something of how i feel. .but forgot liao. dots.. -_-
...sighs... u know how everyday feels like.. just trying to.. force urself.. .u know.. it just sucks.. totally. u do what u have to do.. then at the end of it all, its back to square one agian. i think it was ytd? i still clearly remembed how i lay on top of him.. and how i looked into his eyes straight and say those three words.. =/... but who knows things will end up this way after i came back eh.... ..ha. ... ...haiz.... its just so painful to talk about. perhaps better to say it here. just some.
..hm... yea....  o well....... ...its just really difficult sometimes u  know.. to talk to someone of the pains.. and all.. its just tough. =/
i duno.. ha. .o well
hey guess what. smiggles. is. in. SINGAPORE> OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. this is crazzzzy. like whoaaaaaaaaa... but im more of wishing for typo to arrive instead. nonetheless, im really glad smiggles finally gonna open up their very first store in sg. like wow. absolutely great.
...sammy talked a lil about during his days when he had a choice back then.. whether to sign on to scdf.. ..i saw the poster todya in the train. well, guess they are still needing ppl here. for polive.. scdf.. wahtever posts .. with the hats poser. i recognized the one he once wore.
well... u know how times whne u wished  you could turn it back.. and stay at those moments? best moments.. when we first met.. when we have just the 2 of us alone world.. carefree.. perfect. memoents that wish he could've changed his mind and made his decision to stay by my side.
the tears been running again. ha.. so irritating. 
i really hasnt been slping well at all for hte past week.. this wek.. i duno. duno sicne when i had a nice slp. like nvr. =/ ..haiz.. todya even had a dream of me n his family all together.. not a gd drema rrly.. but nice to see him loving me there. but.. yea.. its a dream.
then.. was so tired cos of the trainign early.. went out.. then got home.. gosh. rrly bodt is telling me to nap first. i hate to put the hours to waste liek that. but i must. so nap. .3 hours. i think. woke up. .thought overslpt and its middle of hte night. so glad it sitn so. then heart beating soooo super fast. i almost was like. .panting. gosh.. so fast its beating.. .duno why. again. i didnt slpt well. totally diaster =/
ytd? i almost slpiied. like a real huge slipped. thankk god im fine. just let out a huge scream. ha. after im out, mum say water too hot isit? ... ..=.= yea. .reson why no one come to ask , becos duno, and becos mum thought i screamed cos of the water too hot ....o well. i cant be bother to explain rrly. ..jsut.. some things are so menaingless now. it rrly. .makes no difference
trust me. when u lost whats precious to u in life the most, things changed. u changed. n.. suddenly u're kinda thrown back to the times when .. u're still in the dark.. again. but somehow u know he'll be around somewhere.. but its difficult sometimes.. u cant say thigns and tlak like.. u know.. im sad.. why? becos i still feel the pain u inflicted upon me.
 but.. to place that aside,.. its always know htat.. at least.. at the end of the day.. u'll know theres always a ray of light hanging around you.. and.. ..yea. .u'll glad to know. .someone still loves you..for now.  just one person in this world. you know thats something special.
the hearts are connected.
sorry.. im tlaking about all these again .. .=/ haiz... so yea. i hope tmr will be a better day. and fo rhim too. it should be a nice place to head there ba. eh?  shld be. .rrly cant wait to go there and visit my manager one day. but scary thogh.. after u watched unknown. ha. 
k.. thats all fo rnow. .tmr. .duno waht to do ne. .... just wanna destress
mata

No comments: