so.. .after going without food for 27 hours plus, yea.. my stomach is half full finally. just.. well.. no appetite to eat anythign u know.. ..o well.
suffer the consequences in the morning though. .wakey to toilet. .stomahc hurts ike what. .argh..
...u know.. well. i guess for some ppl, parents love this girl.. ok. u've gotta do ur best to be with her no matter what.
then.. another case... you love her? sorry we dont. if we dont, you dont. you shouldnt either. who cares the hell of what you think. just give her up already. becasue they don like her. so their children couldnt be allow to either. its all of what they think.
they thought.. well.. just let him be.. cry, angry, ignored us.. soon it will be over. the most just gonna last for months. he'll be fine. he'll thank us one day. yea its ok. he wont be able to hold on for long anyway. with time passed, he'll be back to normal again real soon. its like that one.. just leave him be for now.. dont bother him first. he'll be fine after a while. well, if such parents are thinknig this way, .. well.. waht craps.
yes. i'll fake my smile and laughter everyday. keep telling myself that i am fine. its alrite.. they;re all lies. but well. .i gotta do it. i'll fake smiles till the day when finally im truly happy for the first time again. i wonde rwhen eh.... it'll take months perhaps? or even a year or so? yea. .if i dont show that im crying , he nor my parents will worry.. well. not that it matters to him anymore
..u know. just in case.. i thought this day might come.. i told myself.. no matter what we have to off it face to face. even meaning im flying off to sydney for 2 days. but this is too sudden.. so .. yea. i swear i do not wanna do it over the phone or by msg.. but no choice. .its too sudden and fast.. .he cant wait for me to go there and u know... we do it together. so.. well.. it sjust ove rhte phoen .i don wanna do this cos it'll cause me regrets.. over a phone?>.... sighs.......... ...=(
before he left sg.. he drop by my place for hte very last tiem... after he hop onto bus, he msg me.. '....be strong.. our love will carry us through' that line, makes me believe. and a hope for a better future for us. but... a greater force came unforeseen... and they have the call.. to cut it all off....
i knew from last night when he chatted with me non stop... usually he wont. so when we are having a smooth chat freely,.. i knew somethings must be weird going on.. and i was right.... ...yea. .i didnt get to chat with him liek that much.. cos usually he'll be quiet.. not much of a talker.. i duno. bored with me or what i guess.
anyway..... well....... .... .yea. i wonder if thats what they said...
one never truly learn how to appreciate a thing only when they finally lost it.
my heart is still crying.. i held back my tears badly today.. i tried my best... with all my might... pretending to talk as though everything is normal... fake smile is all about me right now...
it'll be good.. i would rather not let anyone worry fo rme... held it all down into the ddeepest part of heart...
u know. i seriously.. seriously.. didnt know that parents have the right or power to take the source of happiness away from their children.. they snatched it. they forced it. they dont listen. they just force u up to the wall... and make u lose a part of u..
i.. .really didnt know parents are allow to do that... ....wow.. .... they would rather... hurt u?... i duno.. i duno anymore.. i thought.. i was grateful to them.. becos of them theres sammy. becos of sammy, i have me. and i have him . and.. his my pillar of everything. now my pillar broke.. my family gone.. heart torned.. part of my life gone.. part of me lost... my heart is no more...
they.. caused all these to me?... i duno.. theres no one to blame.. they have their reasons.. perhaps im jjst a bitch in someone elses eyes.. becos of htem.. he lost me. i lost him. world and heart both shattered in one night...
i dont hate them. but. i just wish if only htey could try to understand... but given a death penalty..., well... i cant say anymore...
so yea... tmr to work. i think i'll cry on the shop floor. i hate being unprofessional. but i knwo i am but a mere human being. my heart's been ripped apart. there is no way when quiet moment set in, would i not shed down a single tear?
my name is pauline. and i have lost someone i love very very dearly. he'll be in my heart. if theres ever fate with us, maybe who knows.. years later, we'll be together. but well.. all these.. i do not dare to harbour any hopes for..
mum understadns too... he cant do anything as he has to depend on his family... she said. ... nvm. wait till he have a job and all, when he can be independant, he can do whatever he want with full freedom. no need to care what his parents is saying.. ..that could be a way i thoguht.. but.... yea... well.. hold back my tears for now ba..
future is unknown. i'll look forward to 2012 dec 12. once that is over, i'll start to think of something else then. ...
so yea..... ...there u go. mum said ..she also cant bear to see me go sydney.. now its liek that. .could be a gd hting. .a tleast i'll stay n get married in sg... but she wouldnt force me. i know. as long as what i want, she will be ok. she wont forc eme and say no cannot this and that... even if i were to say im gonna try to head to sydney to work, im sure she'll be fine with it. just worried for me only thats all.
i didnt say anythign to her. but yea.. when the time comes ba....
somemroe.. when she mentioon of getting married in sg, i felt sooooo weird . i really don wanna think abou that right now. like seriously. its weird.
mata
suffer the consequences in the morning though. .wakey to toilet. .stomahc hurts ike what. .argh..
...u know.. well. i guess for some ppl, parents love this girl.. ok. u've gotta do ur best to be with her no matter what.
then.. another case... you love her? sorry we dont. if we dont, you dont. you shouldnt either. who cares the hell of what you think. just give her up already. becasue they don like her. so their children couldnt be allow to either. its all of what they think.
they thought.. well.. just let him be.. cry, angry, ignored us.. soon it will be over. the most just gonna last for months. he'll be fine. he'll thank us one day. yea its ok. he wont be able to hold on for long anyway. with time passed, he'll be back to normal again real soon. its like that one.. just leave him be for now.. dont bother him first. he'll be fine after a while. well, if such parents are thinknig this way, .. well.. waht craps.
yes. i'll fake my smile and laughter everyday. keep telling myself that i am fine. its alrite.. they;re all lies. but well. .i gotta do it. i'll fake smiles till the day when finally im truly happy for the first time again. i wonde rwhen eh.... it'll take months perhaps? or even a year or so? yea. .if i dont show that im crying , he nor my parents will worry.. well. not that it matters to him anymore
..u know. just in case.. i thought this day might come.. i told myself.. no matter what we have to off it face to face. even meaning im flying off to sydney for 2 days. but this is too sudden.. so .. yea. i swear i do not wanna do it over the phone or by msg.. but no choice. .its too sudden and fast.. .he cant wait for me to go there and u know... we do it together. so.. well.. it sjust ove rhte phoen .i don wanna do this cos it'll cause me regrets.. over a phone?>.... sighs.......... ...=(
before he left sg.. he drop by my place for hte very last tiem... after he hop onto bus, he msg me.. '....be strong.. our love will carry us through' that line, makes me believe. and a hope for a better future for us. but... a greater force came unforeseen... and they have the call.. to cut it all off....
i knew from last night when he chatted with me non stop... usually he wont. so when we are having a smooth chat freely,.. i knew somethings must be weird going on.. and i was right.... ...yea. .i didnt get to chat with him liek that much.. cos usually he'll be quiet.. not much of a talker.. i duno. bored with me or what i guess.
anyway..... well....... .... .yea. i wonder if thats what they said...
one never truly learn how to appreciate a thing only when they finally lost it.
my heart is still crying.. i held back my tears badly today.. i tried my best... with all my might... pretending to talk as though everything is normal... fake smile is all about me right now...
it'll be good.. i would rather not let anyone worry fo rme... held it all down into the ddeepest part of heart...
u know. i seriously.. seriously.. didnt know that parents have the right or power to take the source of happiness away from their children.. they snatched it. they forced it. they dont listen. they just force u up to the wall... and make u lose a part of u..
i.. .really didnt know parents are allow to do that... ....wow.. .... they would rather... hurt u?... i duno.. i duno anymore.. i thought.. i was grateful to them.. becos of them theres sammy. becos of sammy, i have me. and i have him . and.. his my pillar of everything. now my pillar broke.. my family gone.. heart torned.. part of my life gone.. part of me lost... my heart is no more...
they.. caused all these to me?... i duno.. theres no one to blame.. they have their reasons.. perhaps im jjst a bitch in someone elses eyes.. becos of htem.. he lost me. i lost him. world and heart both shattered in one night...
i dont hate them. but. i just wish if only htey could try to understand... but given a death penalty..., well... i cant say anymore...
so yea... tmr to work. i think i'll cry on the shop floor. i hate being unprofessional. but i knwo i am but a mere human being. my heart's been ripped apart. there is no way when quiet moment set in, would i not shed down a single tear?
my name is pauline. and i have lost someone i love very very dearly. he'll be in my heart. if theres ever fate with us, maybe who knows.. years later, we'll be together. but well.. all these.. i do not dare to harbour any hopes for..
mum understadns too... he cant do anything as he has to depend on his family... she said. ... nvm. wait till he have a job and all, when he can be independant, he can do whatever he want with full freedom. no need to care what his parents is saying.. ..that could be a way i thoguht.. but.... yea... well.. hold back my tears for now ba..
future is unknown. i'll look forward to 2012 dec 12. once that is over, i'll start to think of something else then. ...
so yea..... ...there u go. mum said ..she also cant bear to see me go sydney.. now its liek that. .could be a gd hting. .a tleast i'll stay n get married in sg... but she wouldnt force me. i know. as long as what i want, she will be ok. she wont forc eme and say no cannot this and that... even if i were to say im gonna try to head to sydney to work, im sure she'll be fine with it. just worried for me only thats all.
i didnt say anythign to her. but yea.. when the time comes ba....
somemroe.. when she mentioon of getting married in sg, i felt sooooo weird . i really don wanna think abou that right now. like seriously. its weird.
mata
No comments:
Post a Comment