hating living

sighs.. imma slp very late tonight.. haven bath..

u know.......sighs... was tough at work today.. =( // /din had a good time...
...  i.. didnt know wat to do.. .
as in...
sometiems i wonder.. .after my holiday overseas.., ... whats my next step?
i hate my life. seriously speaking... i dunno whats so great about life anymore. i gess love is everything to me. .but...
to lsoe tat.. might as well tell me to die.. isnt it.

sigsh..s.. .my tears been falling almost everyday since.. so many months passed.. eyt... im stilling tearing...
yet.. my heart still shredding.. yet.. my life motivation draining on....
my tears are like. .taps.. i dunno why.. they jst. .keep on rolling...
heartache will forever be there..

me lunchtime had 2 rolls pf popiah... dinner..only drinks.. no food.
im torturing myself isit.. .
but.. i cant help it...
health aint the same in the past.. .. nowadyas.. my health sucks badly... but i c ant help it.. .i cant force myself to eat.. sometimes i can. sometimes i cant.. like. .exp.. tonight....

i hate my life so much frankly speaking
..
sigsh.. not god to have such thoughts... i know.... really not good.. but... im losing interest in that now...

oh gosh.. whenevr im alone iwth paul at this area of store, i felt sooo awkward. omg. cos of my sm~!!! wth. today i just got to work and he's in there. then when he's about ot go out,(he offers me a swt cos i was coughing.. very nice of hime=) ) she's liek asking hin.... '' why so long? u hugging her ar.''?

i was like.. .wtf............................. hello>>???/ this joke is beyiong cure. omg.

i was like... sighs. so paishe sia.. .liek wanna tlak with him or wha.... my sm always.. like. .haiz. wth sia

 tell me... what should i do...
i've nvr been happy truly.. and im crying almost everyday for months............. whast my life gonna be.. after the holiday??
i dunno.... ..

i hate my life.. i rrly. .just... dislike evrything of my lfie right now.. .i .. .relly dunno hw anymore..
i hurt myself.. over n over.. yet... the happiness of mine had alreayd slppied away...
yet the pains. .the injuries.. and all... still... ...i still couldnt get up.. i cant .. i  could not feel any true happiness...
and i meant true.. not from frens.. work or family..

my tears.. these few days.. been flowing like tap...
im so tired of v everything..
i hate everythig..

my heart hurts bloody pain every single night ....
its such a pain as... u will never be able to describe to others...
i didnt know. .really didnt know.. heartache. .could be this bad.. bad to ur life.. to ur future.. to ur withiin
,..

sorry.. i soudnded os sad tionight. .br.. its true..

just wanna.. let it all out here..

i cried in fron to fmy bro tonight.
he din ask anything. even if he did, i guess i migh not say a thing ba?
but yea.. .

tha  seriously proved.. that... see............ he din ask...
so don say why i never talk about my problems... why i kept it to myself.. .becos.. .the din ask.. and so i wont tell...
even if he did...
will he listen or hear>? its a huge difference mind u.

woner if tears gonna stope flowing or not..

do u hate ur life?
i hate mine to the core..
i'll see what i can do ba..
but. ...u knw... .. i still hate


heartache. .so frighteing..
causes u to lsoe evrything. . including life..

wat would u do for ur love one. .like seriously..

u know.. if im throw away.. .don expec me to be here forever...

sorry todays blog verysad..

im too t]ired.. im very tired with everything.........
pray for me for survial k...
thanks..
i.. really neeed to learn.. how to cherish a life.;'

mata