my fren was telling me.. how her fren was saying about my love life.. yea.. apprantly she told her fren about me. .anwyay... yea. .she was saying.. her fren reaction was like.. .'' wah llao.. so dram! where got like this one. .singapore so many ppl, so many handphones.. yet these 2 get conencted... sure crossed paths wan. this one sure fated to be together..' somethinglike that.. thats what i can recalled.. . well. .drama.. yea.. (look at the part where we were forced to breaky =.= .. then crossed.. yes. .we became lovers. .be together.. ..... =/.. apparantly not.. so eya.. .theres fate indeed... but... perhaps its just fated to meet... but not fated to be together.. but who knows the future. howveer... yea. guess. .this phone thingy.. among millions of ppl.. im glad i get to find him eh. no. its he.. who found me.
i was like. .sigsh. .crying quite.. heavily last night. today ne. .totally sucks. somemore morning. wan. colleagu(same guy) playing songs again. sad ones. .whatever ba.. .yea. wonder if this is all a coincidence or what.
gosh.. i rrly dislike my fringe. .too long. .wanan change it. but.. .haiyo.. i duno how to cut man... i mean.. which hairstyles.. i kinda have an idea. .but.. hm... .o well.... =/ i duno.. see how ba.. ...
so yea.. can u actually believe this? ... ha. ... =/
its been almost a month now. and i still cant frekaing forget this shit. .. sighs. .=/ heart isnt heal.. life still sucks.. evrything seems so dark.. just boring and lifeless. rrly lifeless.
im sure no one would wanna go through what im going through everynight.. rrly .trust me
u don knowhow im spending it.
my fren was telling me.. how usually, and most ppl would go nz, then go australia. meaning.. go nz work.. n get through to aussie. instead of applying for visa straight.
he said.. theres about 4 main sections.. points. i mean. edu, age, eng, and work expreinece. apprantly only missing is edu. but the rest i quallifed. but. i duno... im thinking now. never thought theres this way.BUT. if... i could get my way around to nz first.. i can get to aussie.. not bad u think. see... i get to work at other places.. diff places.. but hten again.. i hate the nz cold..... huu. hate cold. but then.. yea..
he hinted that. .he could actually(he's form nz btw) pull a few strings here and there.. i fi want, he could find his frens there, and help me look for a source... u know.. ... i might;ve. .said yes. .but.. i have this job and position now. and im good. ..i don. .=/ .. reakon that now its a gd idea to give it all up.
well, nz theres kk. so.. if i go there, stil lcan work.. but.. ... mmm.... i duno. well, in case anything come to worse, still can ask him for help. i have nothing to care less now. u know. my own body.. i just dont.. i duno. i dun =/ like. .give a damn now. i jus need to get over everyday . thats all. i duno what to do. i have nothign to lose. worse to worse, see if his plan works. but yea. im still stixking to my job now. duh.
i havent even have aproper talk with my melb manager yet =.=
if i go.. i thought of. .whats gonna happen to my family .but hten again. i wanna get out there man. if have this chance, why not. if never come, then its ok. i'll be here. sg not bad. and the most i just gotta go holidays every here and there to overseas.
so yea. im hoping for a better future eh.
today had a tlak awith him too. gosh.. i rrly need ot go for lessoin soon. at leats can interact with the classmates.. and teacher. jap... haiyo.. somebody??? i need motivations =( if only someone could go with me. haizzzzzzzzz
idiot. i have bruises over my legs. =.='' bloody hell.. duno how the guy massage me wan.. asshole. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so yea. felt kinda ok. .after a tlak.. before i turn 26. .emaning.. ok. one year's time. ifneed be, i'll have a tlak withh my manager. the big melb one. befreo n26.. i hope.. to be able to head overeas.. however,.. well, a tleats i have a sense of direcetiions now.. future is future.. nvr know.. maybe i get tired of ppl working there, then i quit. but.. well.. .at least i have a bit of plan here.. i dno. see how ba. but yea. theres a picture of hows it going to look like.. hm... .one year time ba. anyway before 26.. eiter to nz or aussie..
u guess will i make it? will i quit,? or perhaps i'll meet other guy? then i wont bear to go away from sg.
speaking of which.. omg. mum was telling me to hurry find anotehr man.. and get married. she want to see me get married.. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG =.='''''' kill me now. sighs.
my frens were all asking me how my future bf is like.. any idea? blah3....... wtf???
ommg. sharks. im still in healing proces.. apprantly my heart is still undergoing the shattering moments every night.. and days... omg. tlaking about bf again??? .. sighs.. i know. .it snice la.. .=/ but.. i cant force such thing to happen. gonna take time to heal and let it go.. sighs.. just concentrate on work first.. wahtever happen m happens.. and i might know by then. i hope.. probably not ba. if not, i might not be able to leave sg liao. however .. i might noteven leave this palce eh? maybe cos of visas. .or points not enough.. blah3.. poor mum.. i don think her wish can come true =(( sighs... but i cant marry just anyone in oredr to let her see me get married right? omg. so freaking weird.
anwyay... haiz.. yea.
i duno hwo thigns will turn out. my life isnt at all important to me no more. im just working. .hareder.. and earning money.. and whaever.. sammy asked me to tc of myself. seriously i duno how. and i dont htink im doing a good job. but yea. o well.
u know what. o well. even if i know bangs might turn out ugly fo rme, but why not. just change everything ba. nothing to care liao.
so yea. here u go.. my dramatic lvoe story. my light and dark life. the paths i've crossed with him...
perhaps.. whne i stopped cryin, i'll let you guys know.
he is busy .but good fo rhim. i wish him all the best. im sure he can make it. ..yea. o well..
who know swhne we'll crossed paths again. and when we do.. ...., i hope i'll be able to tell him myself.. how important he is to me in my life, and how huge a impact he made on me. i will thank him. and truly thank him. and apologise for letting his tears rolled.
u know something? we were smsing each othere again after he kept quiet for days. and there was this scenes''. about .. talking about.. chasing each other. wow. i was amazed. this happened befor ewe met up. i was at pp.. workin g at atz.. goig to toilet.. (yes i remember the scene i go toilet so clearly =.=) cos just now when he type the word rocket, iwas like. .wait.. he did said that before.. and i say. .fly to the moon or duno what... got chili there? no.. wiat. .i said. .now ppl can live in other planets..(moooN) liao. yea. .he was asking if i was angry.. ( cos i sorta stumped for words when he said rocket chase me to the moon.. or sumtin)... wow. deja vu man... rrly .amazing. like. .that was before we met. .we were still frens.. and now... we are sayign the same thigns again. ...
i admit. i wasn thappy.. but at least. i know he's getting on well and studying hard. and htats .. well. in a way.. kinda enough fo rme to.. yea. glad or whtaever.
so yea.. o welll.......................... like that ba.
ya know... now htat i thnink about all htese... it all occrued to me.. when u don t like somebody in the first place, u wont. as lil excuse, or any small matters, u'll use it. use htat as an excuse to dislike somebody. i thought.. it was me. then u know.. .. no it wasnt. according to frens all parent first metin session, its so easy and smoohtly.. some not. but most yes. dinner all ok... no need ot auto'' clean.. blahj3... pass. when he said it wasnt my fault.. i didnt rrly take itinto heart. .but niow. ... yea.. .... it rrly wasnt me. they alreayd dislike me befor ei even go there. and. u know hwat that means. when u dont liek some certain ideas, u'll find menas and ways to destroy and deny it. adn guess what. good. im sure the next girl sammy bring home with him, no need do anything, sure can pass. no need 'auto ' do cleaning. sure pass. well. .good for her too then.
ha. see. like i said. i will alwyas figure somehting out. just a matter of itme only. ...
haizz. took me so long. nvm, .perhaps next time it wil lbe so much easier than then. if im in another family that is. sighs.. but hten again... no mood to think about that. let nature take its course. if theres ever a 2nd love to come along,.. i jst wish.. if only.. i could marry my first love in life...
nowadays, when i start to need to.. u know. meet up with guys frens again, i get nervous. especiall yafter .. some nasty memories in the past before i met sammy .so scary. =/ but i .. well. i should be old enough to u know.. stand up for myslf if antyhing .in case anything happen, frenship will ruin, and i';ll figh tback. ok. think this way, n i';ll be fine.
mata
mata
-to lose the one you love most and dearly,.... you loses all your sanity and self-
i was like. .sigsh. .crying quite.. heavily last night. today ne. .totally sucks. somemore morning. wan. colleagu(same guy) playing songs again. sad ones. .whatever ba.. .yea. wonder if this is all a coincidence or what.
gosh.. i rrly dislike my fringe. .too long. .wanan change it. but.. .haiyo.. i duno how to cut man... i mean.. which hairstyles.. i kinda have an idea. .but.. hm... .o well.... =/ i duno.. see how ba.. ...
so yea.. can u actually believe this? ... ha. ... =/
its been almost a month now. and i still cant frekaing forget this shit. .. sighs. .=/ heart isnt heal.. life still sucks.. evrything seems so dark.. just boring and lifeless. rrly lifeless.
im sure no one would wanna go through what im going through everynight.. rrly .trust me
u don knowhow im spending it.
my fren was telling me.. how usually, and most ppl would go nz, then go australia. meaning.. go nz work.. n get through to aussie. instead of applying for visa straight.
he said.. theres about 4 main sections.. points. i mean. edu, age, eng, and work expreinece. apprantly only missing is edu. but the rest i quallifed. but. i duno... im thinking now. never thought theres this way.BUT. if... i could get my way around to nz first.. i can get to aussie.. not bad u think. see... i get to work at other places.. diff places.. but hten again.. i hate the nz cold..... huu. hate cold. but then.. yea..
he hinted that. .he could actually(he's form nz btw) pull a few strings here and there.. i fi want, he could find his frens there, and help me look for a source... u know.. ... i might;ve. .said yes. .but.. i have this job and position now. and im good. ..i don. .=/ .. reakon that now its a gd idea to give it all up.
well, nz theres kk. so.. if i go there, stil lcan work.. but.. ... mmm.... i duno. well, in case anything come to worse, still can ask him for help. i have nothing to care less now. u know. my own body.. i just dont.. i duno. i dun =/ like. .give a damn now. i jus need to get over everyday . thats all. i duno what to do. i have nothign to lose. worse to worse, see if his plan works. but yea. im still stixking to my job now. duh.
i havent even have aproper talk with my melb manager yet =.=
if i go.. i thought of. .whats gonna happen to my family .but hten again. i wanna get out there man. if have this chance, why not. if never come, then its ok. i'll be here. sg not bad. and the most i just gotta go holidays every here and there to overseas.
so yea. im hoping for a better future eh.
today had a tlak awith him too. gosh.. i rrly need ot go for lessoin soon. at leats can interact with the classmates.. and teacher. jap... haiyo.. somebody??? i need motivations =( if only someone could go with me. haizzzzzzzzz
idiot. i have bruises over my legs. =.='' bloody hell.. duno how the guy massage me wan.. asshole. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so yea. felt kinda ok. .after a tlak.. before i turn 26. .emaning.. ok. one year's time. ifneed be, i'll have a tlak withh my manager. the big melb one. befreo n26.. i hope.. to be able to head overeas.. however,.. well, a tleats i have a sense of direcetiions now.. future is future.. nvr know.. maybe i get tired of ppl working there, then i quit. but.. well.. .at least i have a bit of plan here.. i dno. see how ba. but yea. theres a picture of hows it going to look like.. hm... .one year time ba. anyway before 26.. eiter to nz or aussie..
u guess will i make it? will i quit,? or perhaps i'll meet other guy? then i wont bear to go away from sg.
speaking of which.. omg. mum was telling me to hurry find anotehr man.. and get married. she want to see me get married.. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG =.='''''' kill me now. sighs.
my frens were all asking me how my future bf is like.. any idea? blah3....... wtf???
ommg. sharks. im still in healing proces.. apprantly my heart is still undergoing the shattering moments every night.. and days... omg. tlaking about bf again??? .. sighs.. i know. .it snice la.. .=/ but.. i cant force such thing to happen. gonna take time to heal and let it go.. sighs.. just concentrate on work first.. wahtever happen m happens.. and i might know by then. i hope.. probably not ba. if not, i might not be able to leave sg liao. however .. i might noteven leave this palce eh? maybe cos of visas. .or points not enough.. blah3.. poor mum.. i don think her wish can come true =(( sighs... but i cant marry just anyone in oredr to let her see me get married right? omg. so freaking weird.
anwyay... haiz.. yea.
i duno hwo thigns will turn out. my life isnt at all important to me no more. im just working. .hareder.. and earning money.. and whaever.. sammy asked me to tc of myself. seriously i duno how. and i dont htink im doing a good job. but yea. o well.
u know what. o well. even if i know bangs might turn out ugly fo rme, but why not. just change everything ba. nothing to care liao.
so yea. here u go.. my dramatic lvoe story. my light and dark life. the paths i've crossed with him...
perhaps.. whne i stopped cryin, i'll let you guys know.
he is busy .but good fo rhim. i wish him all the best. im sure he can make it. ..yea. o well..
who know swhne we'll crossed paths again. and when we do.. ...., i hope i'll be able to tell him myself.. how important he is to me in my life, and how huge a impact he made on me. i will thank him. and truly thank him. and apologise for letting his tears rolled.
u know something? we were smsing each othere again after he kept quiet for days. and there was this scenes''. about .. talking about.. chasing each other. wow. i was amazed. this happened befor ewe met up. i was at pp.. workin g at atz.. goig to toilet.. (yes i remember the scene i go toilet so clearly =.=) cos just now when he type the word rocket, iwas like. .wait.. he did said that before.. and i say. .fly to the moon or duno what... got chili there? no.. wiat. .i said. .now ppl can live in other planets..(moooN) liao. yea. .he was asking if i was angry.. ( cos i sorta stumped for words when he said rocket chase me to the moon.. or sumtin)... wow. deja vu man... rrly .amazing. like. .that was before we met. .we were still frens.. and now... we are sayign the same thigns again. ...
i admit. i wasn thappy.. but at least. i know he's getting on well and studying hard. and htats .. well. in a way.. kinda enough fo rme to.. yea. glad or whtaever.
so yea.. o welll.......................... like that ba.
ya know... now htat i thnink about all htese... it all occrued to me.. when u don t like somebody in the first place, u wont. as lil excuse, or any small matters, u'll use it. use htat as an excuse to dislike somebody. i thought.. it was me. then u know.. .. no it wasnt. according to frens all parent first metin session, its so easy and smoohtly.. some not. but most yes. dinner all ok... no need ot auto'' clean.. blahj3... pass. when he said it wasnt my fault.. i didnt rrly take itinto heart. .but niow. ... yea.. .... it rrly wasnt me. they alreayd dislike me befor ei even go there. and. u know hwat that means. when u dont liek some certain ideas, u'll find menas and ways to destroy and deny it. adn guess what. good. im sure the next girl sammy bring home with him, no need do anything, sure can pass. no need 'auto ' do cleaning. sure pass. well. .good for her too then.
ha. see. like i said. i will alwyas figure somehting out. just a matter of itme only. ...
haizz. took me so long. nvm, .perhaps next time it wil lbe so much easier than then. if im in another family that is. sighs.. but hten again... no mood to think about that. let nature take its course. if theres ever a 2nd love to come along,.. i jst wish.. if only.. i could marry my first love in life...
nowadays, when i start to need to.. u know. meet up with guys frens again, i get nervous. especiall yafter .. some nasty memories in the past before i met sammy .so scary. =/ but i .. well. i should be old enough to u know.. stand up for myslf if antyhing .in case anything happen, frenship will ruin, and i';ll figh tback. ok. think this way, n i';ll be fine.
mata
mata
-to lose the one you love most and dearly,.... you loses all your sanity and self-
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